“Slytherin!”

A smirk was set on his lips as he abandoned the wooden stool and walked over to the table that welcomed him with exuberant applause. Kibum was the epitome of Slytherin, so it was no surprise that he was sorted into the house where he belonged. There were only a few people more suited to that house, his parents being two of those rare individuals. They had raised him to be well aware that there were few things more important than status and prestige and that there was no way to rectify failure.  Some people might have felt burdened by their expectations, but Kibum knew better. Other people might not be capable of living up to those expectations, but Kibum knew how to be successful.

He quickly scanned the table, noting a few uncertain looking faces further down the hall. With the grace of a true royal he made his way over and claimed an empty seat. After the sorting he acquainted himself with the group of freshmen surrounding him, it would only be right for him to have some followers during his stay. The meal took longer than expected, but he soon found himself in the room that he would start calling home. The following years would be his chance to prove the range of his influence.

-

“What do you think I’m here for? Guiding mere first years that got lost on their way to class? Please, I have something more important to do.”

Kibum watched in astonishment as the aristocratic lady turned away to resume staring out of the window. What could possibly be so important about staring out of a window? From what he could see there was only a garden outside. And it wasn’t like he had asked her to guide him to class. After he had been held behind by a teacher he had only suggested that she’d tell him what direction his classmates had gone. He sighed and considered the pros and cons of going back inside to ask the teacher. He really didn’t want to ask him, since the man would probably expect him to know the way already. But he didn’t want to be late to his next class either.

It was only when he decided to wing it that he heard a soft cough behind him. As he turned around he noticed another painting, smaller than the one with the lady, and containing a simple barmaid that seemed to be talking to a customer. He was about to ignore the duo when he picked up part of their conversation. It happened to be about a group of rowdy first years that had walked to the end of the corridor and turned right. With a small grateful smile he rushed in the mentioned direction. To think that even those of lower class could be helpful on occasion.

-

There were three things that Kibum didn’t like: people who didn’t give him what he deserved, carrots, and uncertainty. Unfortunately the latter had managed to worm its way into his life, and he hated it. Over the past number of months he had come to notice something about himself that didn’t fit into the plan he had set out for himself, which reached all the way to the day he would die. It scared him, and he wasn’t quite sure what to do. Should he just ignore that part of him, like he had with many other things that attempted to thwart his plans? Or should he confront it and possibly change his plans accordingly?

Even though ignoring had felt like the most pleasant option, it proved to be more and more challenging day by day. Every time he found his gaze lingering for too long his gut would drop as he tried to tear his eyes away. Whenever his thoughts would stray in an unwanted direction he would struggle to guide them elsewhere and rarely succeeded. His nights started to grow shorter and he usually woke up feeling more tired than he had before. As time went on it became more and more obvious. He would have to learn to accept this part of himself, or it would be his downfall.

-

He was caught staring at the small notice on the board. It was rare for him to read anything that wasn’t signed by a teacher, but this one managed to catch his interest. It was a short note stating that if someone needed to talk, all they needed to do was send a message to ‘KJ’ by owl. He didn’t feel confident about talking to a stranger about his problems, but at this point he could use a listening ear, preferably one that wouldn’t know that they were listening to him.

Several hours later he found himself in the owlery, attaching a small note to a pygmy owl.

I’m a man who is attracted to men, and I don’t know what to do.

-

What had started out as a hesitant trial, soon evolved into something Kibum came to heavily depend on. There was now a steady stream of messages going back and forth between him and ‘KJ’ and he soon found that it gave him a platform to develop his own thoughts. Ideas that had been snuffed away in the past were now explored, slowly uncovering that the world had more to offer than the limited views he had grown up with.

As time went on his friends came to notice that the previously bossy boy no longer bothered to order them around. Instead they would often find him huddled up in a chair writing a letter, reading books that weren’t related to their homework, or even staring off in what appeared to be deep thought. At first they tried to wake him up, show him that they were still there, and that it wouldn’t do if he suddenly stopped spending time with them. But eventually they found that it was no use. Even if the boy did pay attention it was different than before. He would constantly try to start discussions about topics that didn’t need discussing, questioning things that he previously knew to be true. They quickly grew bored.

-

Christmas morning found Kibum sitting alone in the Great Hall, a letter in his hands. The writing on this piece of parchment was different to the one he had come used to. Instead of a large, messy script fine letters filled the page. The words carried questions about his school life, promises for summer break, and the assumption that he understood why it was better for him to stay at Hogwarts this winter.

Acid made a way up his throat as he progressed through the letter, knowing that each of his answers would be considered a disappointment. It wasn’t what his parents would want to hear. Just like how they wouldn’t want to find out that the people he had once considered as friends were now seated at the far end of the table. He wasn’t even sure if they’d work on a project with him anymore. A chilly blanket settled on his shoulders.

The rest of Christmas day Kibum hung around in the school library. It had become his new place to be, since the Slytherin common room no longer felt like home. It was between the books that he felt at peace. None of them would judge them, and they would provide answers to many off his questions. The silent company wasn’t too bad either.

Diagonally across him was an older Gryffindor, avidly penning down words on a piece of parchment. Kibum couldn’t see what he was writing about due to a pile of books, but he wouldn’t have wanted to invade his privacy anyways. The sound of a scratching quill was oddly comforting. It helped him feel a little less alone.

Eventually the scratching came to a stop and Kibum couldn’t help but look up. He wanted to know if the boy was simply taking a break, or if Kibum would be alone soon. What he hadn’t expected was for the boy to be staring at him with furrowed brows, eyes staring into his as if they were looking for something. It didn’t take long before he had to look away. Kibum actually knew who he was, a star Quidditch player on the Gryffindor team, rarely found without a gaggle of fans surrounding him. It was only at the library that Kim Jonghyun could ever be found alone.

Kibum jumped when a wad of parchment was dropped into his book, soon followed by the bang of the library door as he was now the only one remaining. The place diagonally across him no longer carried any signs of occupation. He was alone. With hesitant fingers he opened up the piece of parchment, his throat closing as familiar messy script covered the pages. The parchment was dropped to the table before the first words could be read.

-

It had taken a while before Kibum had collected himself enough to finally read the letter, and once he did his eyes tore through it at top speed, practically inhaling the written words. Once he finished reading he raced out of the library, down several flights of stairs and through a greenish common room, until he found himself panting at the foot of his bed. The gifts that had remained untouched this morning were still in the place he left them, but now he quickly checked the labels until he took the smallest, lightest parcel out of the stack. It was rare, not just in its size, but also in the warm feelings that came with it.

With delicate movements he took off the wrapping paper, not allowing any risk of tearing. As the package was opened, it revealed something blue and fluffy. When Kibum took it out and held it up it unfolded into something simple, but to him absolutely perfect; a pair of blue, fluffy socks. The note that came along with it only made it better.

I had a hard time to figure out what to give you for Christmas, but I decided to go with an intricacy that few pureblood wizards are familiar with. I hope they will keep your feet warm, and maybe you’ll wear them while we enjoy our Christmas dinner together?

-Kim Jonghyun

Kibum couldn’t feel more elated as he pulled on the socks and happily buzzed around the castle as he waited for dinner. Maybe it wouldn’t be as cold as he feared. Along with today’s knowledge he felt like he had gained a new kind of freedom. It had become easier for him to part with his family’s traditions, and he had gained a new friend in the process. He wondered if house elves could feel similar when receiving socks.

-

When it came around to dinner time Kibum hastened to the Great Hall, wanting to be there early. He looked forward to the prospect of eating with Jonghyun, but he was also quite sure that he wouldn’t dare join him if he was already seated and surrounded by friends. Fortunately the Hall was still mostly empty when he arrived, so he could just take his favorite seat and wait for the elder to arrive.

As more students filed into the hall Kibum started to feel a bit jumpy, not sure when Jonghyun would show up, and if he would even find him once he did. Eventually though, he spotted him heading in his direction, now clad in an oversized jumper. So much for formal Christmas wear. Kibum couldn’t help regretting not putting on those socks after all.

“Hey!”

-

The following days had the boys spending large amounts of time together, considering Jonghyun’s friends had all left for home over winter break. He would have also done so, but at the last minute his grandmother decided to visit his parents, and the two didn’t get along. It was this and many other details of his life that became known to Kibum during the time they spent together. Kibum really couldn’t remember a winter being this cozy and warm, and he secretly wished that it would never end. Unfortunately he didn’t really have a choice.

On the first day back to school Kibum walked in for dinner, his eyes scanning the crowd. Eventually they landed on the mop of brown hair he had been looking for, but unfortunately there were several other coupes surrounding it. He felt stupid for not knowing any better. Resigning himself to his fate he turned around and made his way to the place where he used to sit before the break. He could