~~~~~~~Alex POV~~~~~~~~

I looked at the clock…7:30 PM….

Its past the time Kyuhyun’s suppose to be here….

…Great….Just great….

on my bed, I turned around as I just stared at the wall next to my bed. I was staring at the photosticker of Kyuhyun and I on our first date….

I feel like such an idiot…

If I was going to reject him anyways…Why did I even agree to this stupid one month thing?!

I grabbed a pillow with one hand.

I’m an idiot…A normal person dating a celebrity?! That’s just…That should be against the law of life! I mean, I’m not even a trainee! I’m…no one….And will forever be a no one….

I threw the pillow against the wall with all my might…

“You idiot” I yelled, and grabbed my other pillow, “I HATE YOU!” I screamed, as if that pillow was either Pochiri or Kyuhyun.

Never in my life….Never in my life have I never done anything to receive so much hate! But now…People that I don’t even KNOW are telling me that I should go to hell?! What have I done to deserve so much hate?! I’ve always been UNDER THE RADAR! I’ve never been anything other than under the radar! I’ve always been that nerd at school who would like to be left alone, I was always that quiet girl, and I was always that girl that had to suffer! But this?! Are you kidding me!?

This is why I never want to be known as someone who did something big. Like a celebrity! Because all it does is come with hate! I mean…SNSD! They’re talented! Right?! But because of them hanging out with the SM boys too much, the fan girls were like, “OMG SNSD! YOU S! WE HATE YOU!” and blab la bla!

I started crying, as I grabbed one of my stuffed animals, “STUPID!” I yelled, throwing Mr. Fish at the wall, “YOU IDIOT!” I cried throwing Mr. Bun Bun against the wall, “Why” I whimpered, weakly throwing Totoro onto the wall. I looked at my bed….When did I stand up?

My knees fell onto the bed, as I stared at the shelves that were on my wall…

Why?

Tears started to flow down my cheeks.

Why can’t Kyuhyun and I be together?

Are we a bad match?

I gave out a small “heh”

I guess we weren’t meant for each other after all…

There was a quiet knock on the door, “Alex?” Donghae’s voice went,

“Yes?” I stupidly said, my voice sounding as if it was going to crack at any second,

Donghae opened the door, walked in, and quickly closed the door—locking the door behind him. He looked at my room that had pillows, blankets, torn posters, and broken frames that were pretty much everywhere on the floor…

Great…Now I’m going to have to explain for all of this…

“Alex…” he said, sitting down next to me, “You saw that video right?” he asked,

I looked at him.…How did Donghae find out so fast?

Donghae suddenly hugged me, “It’s going to all right” he said, I closed my eyes,

“What do I do” I sniffed, “I hate this! I’ve never been hated so much in my life before” I cried, “Even with the Siwon scandal! Everyone seemed okay with Siwon and his supposed girlfriend! But really Oppa! I…I can’t” I started to sniff again, “I can’t! ….I can’t…I really can’t take this…I can take being alone, I can take being friendless, I can take being a loner, but…Being hated, being called a , being called a parent’s shame, being said to deserve to be motherless, a-and” I cried even harder, he hugged me tighter

“Alex, it’s gonna be alright” Donghae said patting my pack, I tightened my grip on Donghae’s shirt, my face hiding in his chest, letting wet tears fall…

“H-h-how are you s-so sure?” I hiccupped,

“I’ve been through worse…trust me…it’ll be okay” he said, patting my back, “Come on, let’s go to my room okay?” then he pulled away from the hug “That way we can protect this place called your room” he smiled. I looked at my brother who had his hands on my cheeks, wiping away my tears with his thumb.

I gave him a weak smile, trying to not let him worry as much as he could…But even more tears fell during that process.

“It’ll be okay…” he whispered,

I wanted to say, “No, it won’t…You don’t understand fangirls!”…but what can I do?

~~~~~~~~20 minutes later~~~~~~~~~~

I kept on staring at the comments in the video...

“I hate her!”

“Kyu is mine!”

“Does she wanna die?!”

There would be at least 20 new comments every time I would walk out of Donghae’s room, then back into his room.

I felt weak…Like I didn’t deserve to exist…I mean…I’ve never had to deal with so much hate before! I know what it feels like to be alone, but to be hated? That’s a whole different story…

Donghae came on the bed with two mugs. I didn’t look up at him, but kept staring at the computer screen.

“That B*TCH SHOULD JUST BURN IN ING H*LL! I CAN’T BELIEVE HER!” one of the newer comments said,

I took in a deep breath. I looked at the next one,

“Who does she think she is? Dating MY Kyuhyun?!”

My body felt weak again….

“Alex Lee!” Donghae yelled, closing the laptop with his foot. I looked up at him, he smiled, handing me a cup of something warm…I’m guessing hot chocolate?

I took a small sip, and quickly retreated because of the burning sensation it gave on my tongue.

I looked at Donghae, “Coffee?” I asked him, he shook his head,

“It’s actually hot chocolate with a wee bit of hot coffee!” he smiled, “I know that you’re going to have a hard time sleeping tonight, so might as well stay up together!”

“Then…What are you having?” I asked him,

I mean…Donghae’s not really a coffee fan….Well…Unless the coffee was like sugar and cream loaded

Donghae allowed me to drink a small sip of it.

Yeah…it’s hot chocolate, but you can tell that there’s a little bit of coffee put into it. I looked at Donghae...A shocked expression was plastered all over my face… I mean, Donghae, if you people didn’t know, has a hard time sleeping at night! He can spend hours in bed and still not be asleep (unless he was drop dead tired!) And once he had his coffee, even a little bit, he’ll be awake for a long time!

“I don’t have schedules until I leave for Taiwan, so I can stay awake with you and have a—you know! Brother and sister moment” he smirked while drinking his hot chocolate.

I gave him a small smile.

“So did you get the job at SM?” he suddenly asked, I slowly nodded

“Yeah”

“How did it go?” he asked, taking a nice long sip of his drink.

“Well…” I sighed, “When I came into the building, the girls at the desk looked at me as if I were the grudge since my sad/depressed spirits were probably obvious…

He laughed, “So were they scared as heck?”

I nodded, “I can’t help it…Once I get into my depressed mode, it will scare everyone without me even knowing…” I sighed, drinking my hot chocolate. I was browsing around the internet again and found a DIY chocolate face mask.

“Hey Donghae” I started, staring at the girl,

“Yeah?” he replied, scooting closer, he looked at the screen,

“Do you wanna try this?” I asked him while looking up at him.

He gave me a small smile.

“Really? Do you think we have cocoa powder?”

“Yes…and it looks fun!” I said, getting off the bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So after 3 minutes of trying to convince Donghae, I finally forced him to put the mask on after I made it! Aigo, I’m surprised that we had plain yogurt in the dorms! I never knew we had that :/

“So Alex…” Donghae said, while putting on the chocolate mask on me

“Hmm?”

“Can you tell me then entire store of you and Hangeng?” he asked,

“Well? What do you wanna know?”

“How did you two start to date?”  He questioned, putting the chocolate all over my face,

“Mm…I guess I called him up for it…Heechul was telling me all these things that Hangeng did back when he was still in Super Junior, that Hangeng actually had feelings for me…Just hearing that made my heart beat wonders…We were ‘dating’ on the phone for…two… five months? Wow…And I went to China in November, and we actually did more romantic things there”

“Like?”

“Well…We would feed each other, kiss each other…” I looked at him, wondering if I should continue,

“Go ahead, I won’t bite” Donghae said, as he finished putting the mask on me. He fell back in bed, facing up. I fell back on the bed, lying next to him.

“Well…Sometimes, when he saw me on the bed, he would run, and push me down—lying on the bed. His kisses were always endless…and…Whenever we hugged, he would push me against the wall and kiss my neck.”

“Too much info”

“Okay, well, and because of Hangeng, I learned Chinese! I mean, as they say…Dating someone who’s Chinese is the best way to learn Chinese….”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, I mean…I had to say a lot of Chinese things when I wanted Hangeng to…” I stopped, remembering the things that I would do to make him kiss me… like a simple, “庚, 我” or to, “庚…我脱衣服…” Aish! How could I be so stupid?! That wasn’t love! That was lust!

“Uh…Should I ask what those words mean in Chinese?”

“No”

“Okay~” Donghae sang, as he gave out a large breath in relief

I sighed, I can’t believe…That I…Me! That I even wanted to sleep with him! I can’t believe how revealing some of my clothes that I wore around him! Or what I would be around him! For example, sitting on his lap while wearing a white black strapped mini-dress that was low enough that showed a good amount of cleavage for him while attacking his lips…

“You wore what?!” Donghae’s voice yelled, I looked at him, “You. Were. Speaking. Your. Thoughts. Outloud!” Donghae glared

“Alright, I’ll shut up now”

“No! Explain to me what happened!”

“Donghae, I feel stupid…I was in love with that idiot for years! And it hurt like crazy when he cheated! Please! Let’s not talk about the…er…love times? I don’t even know what to call them!”

Then it was quiet….“So how did he find out that he cheated on you?” Donghae finally asked

“I saw him with another girl. End of story”

“Then can you tell me about that Kihun guy? Or…Aish, does he have an English name?!”

“English? Hmm” I said, thinking about it, “Ah! Nathan! Nathan Taylor!” I clapped,

“…He’s you ex and you forgot about that?”

“I always called him Ki-hun because it was just something between us…Because it was his asian name” I smiled,

“How did he treat you?”

I made my lips curl to one side, “Honestly…He was really sweet. He was the shy type, but he would do anything to pursue me…When we started dating…It was a really nice time…but there were no sparks…He would do anything a gentleman would do…Open doors, listen to a girl’s problems, and whenever he leaned to kiss on my hand, he would kiss his thumb until I let him kiss my cheeks. The only thing that came close to a kiss on the lips would be when we would kiss our thumbs and press it against each other’s lips… When we broke up…I was heartbroken…I never thought he would’ve cheated on me with my friend—Sam…”

“Can you tell me about Sam?”

 I sighed, “Asking a lot of questions today aren’t you?”

Donghae shrugged, “I haven’t seen you in a while, so might as well ask as many questions as possible right now”

I gave him a small smile“Alright…Well…Sam? She was really gorgeous…A dirty blonde, perfect chest volume, anything a guy would want right?” I sighed, “And she had a moody personality…Someone who’s happy one second, but is mad the next…”

“Oh…”

“Anymore questions?”

“For now… no”

“Then it’s my turn. Explain your relationship with Uki with me!” I said, touching my face since the mask was drying,

“Uki and me? Hm…Well…What can I say honestly…I met her during my trainee years at SM, dated her, cheated on her with Jessica on our two year anniversary, she hated me, Siwon gave me a scar that is painfully still in my , and well…I think she forgave me…And that’s pretty much what happened” he sighed,

“Hm…” I looked at the ceiling, “So you wasted two years with her?”

“I wouldn’t really say wasted…I mean, sure, we had our fights, but what relationship don’t have fights? I would say that those two years were pretty sweet”

“Then why did you leave her for Jessica?”

“Honestly? Now that I look back, I was an idiot for doing that. She was hurt, she was mad, and she totally destroyed DBSK’s dorms! I really regret doing that,” he sighed, “And that is why I’m really worried about you dating someone. I want you to date someone older, who you know for sure won’t hurt you…”

I shrugged, “All guys are the same…So I don’t really plan on dating…Dating…It’s just…Too hard…Love is just too…bitter…”

“Alex, Love is like Chocolate! There are sometimes warm, delicious moments like those chocolate kisses when they melt in your mouth! You know! That Yummy deliciousness! Or! They could be as cold, bitter like dark chocolate stuck in the freezer! You just gotta deal with it through the bitter and cold times if you want the warm and amazing moments! Because trust me….If a person’s love is true, then they’ll defiantly stick with you through the cold and bitter times, because the warm times are just…Delicious!” Donghae said, then looked at me, “Why are you making that face at me?” he asked

I shook my head, “I’m just…Surprised…That you can say something…that’s like…deep…”

“Heh! See! I know some deep sentences!” Donghae sang triumphantly

“Like?”

“Okay, Okay” Donghae said, and got into his ‘deep’ mood, “Girls are the weaker link”

“What?”

“But what sounds stronger? Those army strong messenger bags? Or a Couch purse?” he asked, I stared at him, “Answer”

“The army strong messenger bag?”

“Ah, yes! But what sounds more expensive?”

“The Couch purse…?”

“See! Girls are like the Couch purse, even though they might not be as strong as the messenger bags, they’re more valuable, and should be treated as if they’re the most valuable thing in the world!”

I sighed, “I guess…”

“And a guy who really likes you will think about you all day, because he won’t stop because he can’t stop thinking about you” Donghae said, “No I can’t stop thinking about chu girl~” he sang,

I stared at Donghae, “Why does that sound so familiar?”

“What sounds so familiar?”

“No I can’t stop thinking about chu girl~” I sang,

“Ah~ So you DO listen to our songs!”

“Ah! U!”

“Yup!”

“No, it’s not because I listen to them, mom and dad use to listen to those songs! Dad would always sing, ‘cause  can’t stop thinking about chu girl~’ and then start doing the pelvic s….” I shivered at that memory

Donghae laughed, “Would he really do that?”

“Of course!” I messed up Donghae’s hair, “He would say that he would be so proud of you for accomplishing something he never did! And that’s why I was so jealous of you”

“Eh? How?”

“Whenever you would be on TV, dad would go, ‘ah…I’m so proud of my Donghae’ or, ‘My little boy grew up!’ and all that!” I smiled, then sighed, “Now that I look at you, you’re still the same kid that I knew since birth!”

“…Since birth?” Donghae stared at me,

“Yup! We’ve been siblings since birth right?” I smiled, “But then some…mishaps happened and then the kidnapping right?” I looked at Donghae,

“How did you?” he questioned,

“Mom…I remembered that during the memory loss” I smiled, “And I’m surprised that I couldn’t even figure that out” I pouted, “I mean…there were pictures of me everywhere at our home when we were little, so….” I shrugged, “I guess I was just being an idiot”

“Alex…Do you really remember?” Donghae smiled, as he sat up,

I laughed, “I see you’re taking this very easily”

“Well…I don’t know how to react to this” he pouted, I sat up and pinched his arm fat,

“Good” I smiled. I then sighed, and then got the MAC, and put it on my lap and kept on staring at the video’s comments…

Still negative…But the good news is that they can’t hear my name! ^^

Donghae suddenly clapped, and suddenly smiled. “Hey Alex, to celebrate this, do you want to show the world that we’re siblings?” he asked as he grabbed his iphone,

“What?”

“Let’s show the world that Super Junior’s Lee Donghae has a little unknown sister named Lee Seohae!” Donghae said, playing with his phone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Okay, I know that the  chapter has awful use of english but again, I was on writer's block! -o- aigo! I'm sorry! *starts dancing sorry sorry* 

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