Kai’s POV

It had been a really quiet ride back to my house from his after I picked him up. He didn’t pack much, just a few clothes and essentials to fill his Nike duffel bag. I tried to make conversation, asking him if he wanted any food or whatnot, but he kept quiet, just replying me by nodding or shaking his head. But it wasn’t like I expected him to have a lighter mood straight away; it would take time. And by the graveness of the situation, I expected that it would take a lot of time.

Once we got to my place, I helped him with his bag and told him to just enter the house. My parents were on an overseas trip anyway- nothing like the ‘trip’ Sehun’s parents went to, though. My parents were trying to clinch a business deal. They were constantly away and the times when they were back, I’d barely see them anyway. Our relationship became from bad to worst that way, but in the sense that we barely communicate at all, not due to hostility.

If I hadn’t an older sister, I couldn’t imagine how alone I’d feel. And my mind wandered of on its own, thinking how Sehun must have felt. How long has his parents been overseas? How long has he been it up alone? He told none of us… Or at least, I think so.

“Eh? Who’re you?” I heard my sister’s voice from inside the house. Hurriedly, I locked the car and the garage, heading into the house and into the living room where Sehun had sat himself down, staring blankly at the fireplace. My sister’s surprised voice didn’t manage to capture his attention as he still looked blankly forward.

Sighing, I closed the door behind me and put his bag down beside the staircase, deciding to handle things with my sister first. When I walked towards her, she mouthed to me, who is he? She looked skeptical and a little furious. She hated it when I would bring friends over, but that was because the only other guy I’ve ever brought to actually sleep over here was Chanyeol, back when he was mischievous and… all sorts of stuff, so she never had a good impression of my friends since then. I couldn’t blame her, what with Chanyeol having tried to kiss her and all.

He needs a place to stay, I mouthed, although it wasn’t entirely true- I invited him, but I viewed it as him actually needing company. Being alone would do him no good.

“Are you crazy?” she whispered this time. “The last time-”

“Don’t worry he’s not like Chanyeol!” I shot back, keeping my voice down. Grabbing her wrist, I pulled her into the corridor, making sure that Sehun was completely out of earshot. It wasn’t like he was going to bother listening to me anyway, but I didn’t want him to hear anything that would trigger him to cry again. “His father just died, okay?”

That was all I told her, and my sister’s judging eyes turned soft and somber. She got it, and then she nodded hesitantly before heading back up to her room. “Give him the guest room, I’ve already cleaned it up,” she said before completely out of my sight.

So I did. I managed to snap him awake from his thoughts and led him up the stairs and to the guest room, which was conveniently next to mine. I placed his bag on the bed and held up my hands, indicating that this was his room. Apparently, he paid no attention to me and just walked past me and sat on the bed, staring at the floor.

I really didn’t know what to do. Should I talk? Should I leave him alone? I couldn’t comfort him, there was no way. I don’t even remember the last time I actually went to a funeral. I have never lost anyone of utmost importance before. Me and my sister, we didn’t know much of our relatives so even if we did lose them, we wouldn’t be that affected by it, no matter how cruel that sounds. So asking my sister for help would be no use either.

But I did know one person who would know how it feels…

I glanced over at Sehun. He seemed so lost. I sighed. Should I ask her for help? Or should I just let him be? Before I could even think any more of it, I heard a cough escaping Sehun’s lips, startling me. It was the first sound coming out of him so far.

“Don’t call her.”

Sehun’s POV

The ride in the car was horrible. All it made me think about was how my father was feeling in that fatal car accident. Did he decide that he wanted to die right then and there? Or did he know that it was something he could get over, that’s why he didn’t give up on life all these years? My mind was a chaotic mess, and I really couldn’t give a damn about whatever Kai was saying to me. I did appreciate him trying to make me feel better, though, wanting to look after me by getting me to live with him.

When he pulled up in his garage, I forced myself to get up quickly, not wanting to sit in any more cars anytime soon. I was about to grab my bag when he told me to enter the house first. I entered the house cautiously, aware that he had a sister. But when I saw no one as I entered, I found my way to his living room and sat myself down on the couch. The fireplace I stared at reminded me of the inns that me and my family used to stay in when we went on holidays during Christmas time.

I still remember how happy our whole family was during those times… Up until…

Just then a whole myriad of thoughts of my mother’s affair found their way into my head, attacking my mind viciously. I may have held a composed face outside, but on the inside, I was begging for help. I wanted someone to take the pain away. I wanted to forget everything.

Everything.

I was the one who found out about the affair. But my father had found out right after me. Because how stupid was it of my mother to invite that son of a to our house? Surely she knew she’d get caught? I could still remember looking into her room through the keyhole, seeing her laugh and smile like that. I hadn’t remembered a time where it was my father who made her as happy as she seemed at that point of time.

Kai waved his hands in front of me and I temporarily stopped thinking about it to follow him up to where I assumed would be the guest room. He helped me set my bag down on the bag. I ignored him, just wanting to take a seat. My head was spinning and the thoughts I did have didn’t help.

Looking at the floor, my thoughts drifted back to the affair. The sound of my mother giggling like a lovestruck teenager could never leave my head. The guy actually did look decent, but I had to remind myself each time that he was fully aware my mother was married, so for him to dare to even make a move on her showed how indecent he really is. There goes the sound of my mother giggling again. The replay of that scene in my mind where she looked up at the guy with those loving eyes.

My mother had beautiful eyes. Just like Jiho… I shook my head to get her off my thoughts. She would be the only person who understands what I’m going through, but the thought of making her worry about me, the thought of taking away even a bit of her happiness, threw me off. She looked perfectly happy with Chanyeol. He had that effect on people. So I wasn’t going to try. I wasn’t going to let myself. No matter how hard she would try to push, I would just have to push her away.

I coughed, and figured I was going to get a cold. That’s what you get for sleeping overnight in the cemetery.

“Don’t call her,” I warned Kai, not looking up. I just stared at a fixed spot on the ground. But even so, I could tell I startled him. I don’t think he was expecting me to even say a word.

“Are you sure?” I could hear a slight confusion in his tone. Ignoring it, I nodded slowly. He sighed and took a seat next to me. “But she’s the only one of us who probably knows what it feels like and I’m sure-” I sighed hearing what he had to say.

“That’s exactly the point. Just let Chanyeol make her happy. I don’t want her to know about me.” I knew my heart yearned for her, but I was trying to suppress it, and so far, it’s working.

Kai scoffed, shaking his head and standing up, looking down at me. Warily, I looked up at him, and his eyes showed disbelief. “You and I both know that she’s not going to worry any less even if you don’t tell her what happened.” With that, he walked towards the door. Before he shut it, “I won’t tell her, don’t worry. Get some sleep,” I heard him mutter before his footsteps faded.

It was true. I knew she would worry either way. But I had to stick with my plan. I couldn’t let her get closer to me. Not anymore. I felt like a bastard for being so close with her those two days and then now I have to keep her away, but that was for the best. For her best. And she couldn’t know. She mustn’t.

I was going to get up and unpack, but a sharp pain in my head stopped me. I felt so dizzy. I felt my body getting weak even as I was sitting on the bed. My vision blurred and the next second, I could feel the coldness of the blankets all over me and the softness of the mattress under me. The next thing I knew, everything went black.

A/N: Here's a kinda short update because I don't think I'll be updating too quickly nowadays with exams and stuff :'( Sorry there hasn't been any Sehun x Jiho   or Chanyeol x Jiho interaction these few chapters but I'll get Sehun x Jiho in the next chapter, ;) Comment comment!

And thank you my lovely readers <3