I can feel Jiho's anger and i already know what he's going to do. Hansol seems shocked or maybe he doesn't understand. But he said to me « you told Jiho » doesn't that mean he overheard us ? I just don't know, it pisses me off.

-Ya ! You stay close to him while you...

-Let's say i've changed my mind.

Seems like everyone's shocked hearing this, i can't do anything, i talked without thinking. I know what it means... but i don't want to get hurt anymore, i don't need friends right ? I say this but on the inside... Damn what am i talking about ? I should be more careful.

-Why are you doing this? Asks the tall guy.

-Maybe it's because he doesn't want to be alone anymore.

Bingo, you got it, Kim Hansol. How does he understand when he doesn't even know. It feels so wrong to me. I mean, isn't he doing fake things again ? Or maybe he understands...

-Come on... i've already said it. I don't need friends, okay ?

-You should stop lying to yourself, Kim Byung joo.

Now it's Sangwon. What's wrong with them ? Nobody used to care, not even the « sang » duo. Then why does it change now ? Because of Kim Hansol. He started talking to me and the other people just followed him. I don't need their pity, it kind of drives me crazy.

-I know what you think... Says Hansol slowly.

-No you don't ! You think you know but you're just wrong !

-I know more than you think.

-No way... Who told you ? Sangwon ? Sangkyun ?

-We didn't even know he knew.

Looking at their faces you can tell they're not lying.

-Then... Hojoon ?

Hansol doesn't answer, i'm right. Now i'm more than pissed off. This guy just told him everything like that ! He probably thought it would scare him so i'd be able to be alone again. Someone comes in.

-Yay i told him.

-Why ?

-Come on bro it's obvious... It was easy for me to act like the worried old friend i could've been.

-Then you've just lied to me ? Hansol looks sad.

-Well, yay i did. But thanks to you i know where that guy's hidding when Dongsung asks him out.

-Stop talking !

-Because you know he gets beaten up by him only because he turns my best friend down...

-Shut up !

Now i'm just going to kill him. He hits me but it's nothing. I give him the punch back and soon we're already fighting like beasts.

 

*** Hansol

When Hojoon left, Byung joo was panting and crying on the ground. The older kept shouting why he was alone and why he should stay alone. Seeing him like that, even if he hurt me, makes me want to hug him. Sangwon kneels down next to him.

-Hey Byung joo. Isn't now the time you realise you need friends to lay on in this kind of situation ?

The other one doesn't answer. Jiho seems confused now. I come near them and sit on the floor. I come a bit closer and touch Byung joo's face.

-Don't touch me...

-Do you hate me that much ?

-No... it hurts...

I don't understand what it means. The guy's kind of crying, you can tell he doesn't want to but his body's acting on his own.

-Seriously hyung, let's be friends again...

-I don't want to...

-No you think you don't.

-That's right...

Byung joo put his left hand on his face to dry his tears.

-I need friends, but i don't know how to deal with it anymore.

-Come on, the old you was so friendly that...

-The old me is dead.

-Then bring him back to life !

-I'll see what i can do... because you ask me...

Byung joo gets up and leaves the place. I don't want him to leave, i don't know why but i start following him.

-Why are you here ?

-Well... er... i was wondering... if you knew some place where i could stay since i don't want to go home, neither going at Jiho's.

-Is he really your best friend ?

-Well...

-I king of understood there was some tension. Is it because you love him ?

-Hell no ! It's him !

-Woooaaa ! And he still doesn't help you when you're in trouble ? Man you should choose better...

-Come on ! He's not a bad person you know... you're even worse !

-How come ?

-You fell for that disgusting Dongsung guy !

-Wait... Hojoon told you that too ?

Now i can see some kind of fear, the fear of getting laughed at or hit. I know this too.

-It's okay... you know the rumors are true... about me...

-Then you'll keep it a secret ?

-Of course... but that part with you being close to Dongsung after that accident... is it true ?

-Yes it is...

-You're interesting Kim Byung joo.

-Why ?

-Because you're the first person i know that choses loneliness over friendship.

-Well it's easier this way.

-I don't think so...

-Really ? Oh we've reached my house and... am i dreaming or i'm talking to you like you knew me for a long time ?

-Seems like you're not dreaming...

I can see a confuse look on his face, it's kind of funny. Maybe there's good in sad moments. He looks at me, confused.

-Well i'll let you stay at my place tonight if you tell me why you don't wanna go home.

It's a dream right ? Hahahahaha i can't believe it... Going to my crush's place, we're going to be alone... Well it's not like anything will happen because he doesn't like me and he's not really friendly. I just have to calm down and think about useless things. He opens the door of a small apartment. There's a room, the kitchen/livingroom, and three doors, one for the bathroom, the second for the bedroom.

-Uh... You said i could stay here but...

-You'll sleep in my bed i'll sleep here.

There's some kind of a couch maybe...

-Ha you're joking right ? I'm coming here without saying anything and you think i'll let you sleep in this hell like couch ?

-If you don't want the bed then it's outside.

-You sure are something you know ? What kind of unfriendly guy lets other people sleep in his bed ?

-Stop trying to lecture me please, it would help.

-Hahaha okay ! Then i'll cook !

-If you want to...

He opens the room and i'm surprised to see the inside. It's all clean and the feeling's kind of warm. It's so unlike Byung joo who always looks cold and has a messy hairstyle.

-If you want to take a shower i can lend you clothes... tomorrow there's no school so you can keep them.

-Ah thanks.

He takes out a simple sweatshirt with sport pants and gives them to me. I'm kind of blushing i guess. I just go in the bathroom so he doesn't realise and stay a while under the shower.

 

*** Xero

What ? He really went to that guy's place ? It's a joke right ? I know i asked Byung joo to protect him but it was before i realised he was more hurting Hansol than helping him. And he's not a good person, i mean, are the rumors of him being a murderer true ? No i don't think it goes that far, because Hansol wouldn't like him. It hurts, because i love this little guy and all he sees in me is a clumsy best friend, when it comes to that joo guy his eyes sparkle and all... Haaaa i guess i already lost.

 

*** Bjoo

This guy, Hansol, seems to have a dark past too. Is it for that reason that i let him in ? I hope so. I mean i know me too well... there are things i understand even if i don't want them to exist, like the fact that i need friends even if i know what might happen. I'm afraid of the future but now i've said it to Sangwon right ? And i don't know why but i feel comfortable around Kim Hansol, even if he's hateful because of all that perfection. There's this guy, Jiho, feels like he's a problem but i'll settle it later. I mean i'll have to, because i don't want any misunderstanding or useless fight.

The bathroom's door opens and Hansol gets out. He's kind of cute with his wet bangs before his eyes. Feels like my clothes are a bit too large for him but he doesn't seem to matter. He smiles at me.

-Okay now, cooking time !

I follow him to watch what he's doing and i'm surprised when i see what he's able to do. He's maybeas good as i am, and i know a bit about cooking since i've been doing it for myself since at least four years. Did he have to cook for himself too ?

-You're pretty good !

-Yay i know right ! It's because mom doesn't want to cook for me.

It's kind of a shock to me. He said it so naturaly, like a child who doesn't care. How much has he suffered until now to show such expressless faces while it might hurt him the most. What's harder ? To look like you're not feeling anything or smiling ? This guy's just strong, on his own way i guess. It makes it hard for me to be around him, i'm just wondering too much things about that guy. Who are you Kim Hansol ?

-Yay right... you had to tell me why you don't want to go home.

-Oh yay this... well my mother's remaried. She was cheating on my father and i was the one who discovered it. It was a big shock for me, but you see i'll pass on that episode.

-No tell me... i mean, i'd like to know why you're like this, why you're who you are.

His eyes widen and i feel like i'm blushing. Why am i talking like this ? Aaaah i'm just confused...

-Well i just can't talk about it...

I can see his tears coming up. I feel bad now, i'm such an . I sigh and help the guy with the cook. He's not talking anymore, i just don't know what to say. The silence is heavy, it becomes awkward and suffocating. We eat in silence and i can't look at him... when i'm brave enough my eyes meet his, full of tears.

-I'm sorry i...

-It's okay. You just didn't know. By the way i'm still happy because you accept the fact you need friends.

-Why would you be happy when you don't even know me ?

Now he's hurt, maybe. I should stop talking i guess. I kind of want to hit myself because of this.

 

*** Hansol

He's probably not doing it on purpose but it doesn't mean he didn't hurt me. Actually i DO care, but it might be becaus eof some selfish reasons. I remember clearly the first day i was him, but he sure doesn't. It was a rainy day and he was getting beaten up by Gongsung's fighting buddies. They left when they heard me coming and i went there to see who was the victim. I was waiting for the usual result, a weak or weirdo on the verge of crying, but when i found him my breath stopped. He was sitting in the water and looking at his state with this tired face he always shows. When i asked him if he was alright he rejected me violently and i saw that painful light (or shadow maybe) loneliness and hurt gives you in his eyes. I kind of felt he was like me, and it may be why i fall for the guy, because he was broken like i was, and also because he's too damn hot.

Now i see a confused and clumsy guy, trying to figure out how to make friends again. I can't help but smile at his sad/troubled face and he seems even more coonfused now.

-Haha you're too funny Kim Byung joo !

-Why ?

-Do you see how fast, and how much you can change in a day ?

-What ? Hey i'm not like this !

-Of course you are !

-It's not my fault i've always been like thi...

He stops, suddenly realising what he's saying. His surprised eyes now look at me and i can't do anything but laugh.

We're tired because of today so after eating we just go to sleep. I enter his room and slowly go to the bed. I feel like i can't sleep in there... after a sigh i just get in and feel reeeeeeeeeeaaally awkward. Come on Hansol it's just a bed... i finally fall asleep, didn't take to long, thank god.

 

I have this memory/nightmare with the feeling of getting cut by something after being scolded. Even if it's a dream i can feel the punches reaching my body and killing me a bit more.

I wake up in tears. I think i screamed because Byung joo is standing in the door sight with a worried look on the face. I try to smile at him but i can't. He comes near me and sits next to me.

-Hey princess... it's over see. There's no bad guy here.

-What do you mean ? You're here you know.

-Even trying to joke while crying ? You're impressive you know.

I don't know why but just hearing his voice warms me up. I'd like him to sit here until i fall asleep but it's not like i can ask for things like this. I mean he knows i like men... Wait. It's also his case right ? I can feel his head falling on my shoulder. He's already asleep !! What kind of guy sleeps so fast ? It's not like he's heavy but how do you want me to sleep now ? Kim Byung joo, why are you doing this to me ?

 

*** Bjoo

When i finally wake up something's warming me up. I open my eyes and it's hard to keep surprise when i see Hansol's sleeping face next to mine. Did i fall asleep next to him ? Poor thing i even slept on his shoulder. I remember he had a nightmare but i didn't have the time to ask him what it was about, i heard him scream « mom stop, please » but it could be a lot of things. I don't know why i feel so awkward but it's opressing me.

-Hey Kim Hansol wake up.

-Ngh

He looks at me with sleepy eyes.

-Hello Byung joo...

After saying this it seems like he realises the situation and he looks at me, shocked. He shakes his head twice and gets up.

-Breakfast !

He runs to the kitchen and sets the table. I'm just too embarassed to get out of the room.

-I'm going to eat everything if you don't hurry !

He's a genius i guess, always acting like it's nothing and showing the same smile. I sit down and try to hide my red cheeks. Wait, why am i blushing ? Aaaah this is no good ! I knew it would turn like this, i'm too happy having people around me again ! I mean i didn't ask them to do all this for me but the guys just did a lot to help me realise and all... i still don't know how it will be around people at school but i know being near Hansol and the others will be fine, that's why i'm just happy ! It's been a long time since i've been happy, it feels good. I can't help my smile showing up.

-Wooooaaaa ! Is that Kim Byung joo ?

-Shut up ! Stop laughing too.

It seems like the guy won't stop laughing at me. I start throwing bread at him but it's even worse... The doorbell rings, wonder who it can be. Sangwon ? Maybe. I can't see any other people because nobody know i'm leaving here. When i open the door i see a beautiful woman with a mad look on her face. Who's she ?

-Hello ? Can i help you ?

-I'm here to pick up my son !

-Well we're not done studying...

-He doesn't need to study.

-Yay but i do, he's only helping me.

-Then stop being selfish and give him back before he falls in love with you.

I can hear the guy inside, he's trying to hold back his feelings (sadness).

-I'm sorry but if you keep on saying mean things, or weird things i'll make you leave.

-What kind of people raised you to talk like that to adults ?

-Well... no one i guess ?

Now the woman seems shocked. I think i've just learned Hansol's « i seem not to care » trick.

-Anyway let me in.

-No.

-Hansol get out !

-He won't, he has to help me.

-Get out before i hit your friend.

I can hear him getting up and coming this way. I don't let him go out.

-Then go ahead, beat me up !

-Byung joo, he whispers, she's strong, i can tell.

-I don't care, i can feel why she's so scary so let me handle it okay ? Let's say it's a payback for what you've done for me.

I can feel his hands trying to push me, he wants to save me. But i don't see things the same way, so i'll save him.

-I'll call the police ! Shouts the woman.

-Then just do it... i can do the same for violence, i mean on your son.

Her eyes are so round, it's scary.

-You dared tell him...

-No realised it myself, because of this kid's nightmares and if you check his back you can see bruises everywhere.

Even Hansol's shocked. Of course i noticed... While we were all changing during sport lessons he was always kind of hidding behind me because he didn't want people to see, so i just checked once. She seems unsure now and just leaves the place. Hansol's crying, i think it's my fault.

-Ah i'm sorry i've made you cry again...

-No... thanks... but i'm just wondering how she knew you were living here...

-Same here.

The guy's still crying... i give him a tissue and cook a little thing for him. He seems to cheer up a bit. The doorbell rings again, i'm not going.

-Ya Byung joo open that door !

It's Sangwon. I open the door and see Sangwon, Sangkyun and that punk, Jiho, waiting outside. When i turn around i see Hansol's smiling face, feels like he's switched to his happy mode. Everyone comes in and nothing's left eating...

-I was wondering... because Byung joo has to get familiar with people once again why don't we go the amusment park ? Says Sangkyun.

-Well it's not a bad idea. Answers Hansol. But what do you think Byung joo ?

-Well if everyone wants to go then... i'll go ?

I can see Hansol's bright smile, the same as always, and the others, exept Jiho, smiling too. Hansol gets up and starts washing the dishes.

-Hey ! I'll do it !

-Ah yay... er... thanks ?

-Why you saying thanks ? It's my house, i do the chores.

-Hansolie... starts Sangwon, aren't you wearing Byung joo's clothes ?

-Well i lent it tho him since we had no school...

Why does Hansol look like he's blushing ? I mean it's nothing right ? Lending clothes, people usually do this when they have to help each other no ? I don't know, maybe i'm just weird. Well i just finish the dishes and go shower.

 

*** Hansol

Aaaah i'm sooooo blushing now !! Well i feel a bit better since Joo's gone showering but it won't last forever. I mean i have to stay calm and stop thinking about my feelings, he's already doing a lot of efforts and all to become friends with us (with the sang duo again) so i have to help him ! But seriously... SANGWON WHY YOU DOING THIS TO ME ?! I'm going to die if he keeps on doing things like that... i can see Jiho's unhappy but i can't do anything about it, i guess. After Byung joo gets out we just leave and go to the amusment park. After an hour, we've already done a lot there and almost nothing's left to do. We pass by a kind of haunted house and Jiho really wants to go in. I hate these things, he knows it, but i guess since he's unhappy i should just go with him. Sangwon and Sangkyun leave us without saying anything. Byung joo just follows us, because he's got nothing else to do i guess. I don't know why but i feel some kind of tension, and it's not because of the house's atmosphere. They look at each other like they're going to fight to death, it's scary.

-Guys ! Come on i'm sure the people outside can feel you don't like each other !

-Then tell this to that heartless guy ! Shouts Jiho.

Why is he so angry ? I don't understand. Byung joo looks like his holding back from hitting him, it's not going to be good... there are two different ways and i choose one without checking the two stupid fighting guys behind. When i turn around i'm alone, oh god please anything but this ! I just don't know what to do anymore... i'm going to stay here until someone takes the same way i chose. I sit down and try breathing. I can hear them, they're not here but i can hear what they say.

-What's wrong with you Kim Byung joo ?

-What do you mean ?

-Didn't i say you're hurting Hansol ?

-Well you should know you're not bad at it too...

-I don't understand.

-Of course you do ! The two people who knew where i live were you, probably because you followed me to stick that note on my door, and Sangwon. I really don't think Sangwon would say to Hansol's mother where he's hidding.

-What do you know ?

-Come on i've known him for a long time...

-But you weren't friends for a long time, maybe he's changed !

-Then if that was the case he wouldn't have tried to help me... you can't escape man ! You say i'm a jerk but look at what you did! I don't know what happened between Hansol and his mother but you more than betrayed him there !

-I didn't betrayed him ! I tried to protect him from you ! Even if you're not violent it's easy for you to hurt others because you just don't understand people's feelings anymore !

-Then look at yourself too !

-Seriously i'm... Hey ! Where are you going ?!

I can't believe it ! Jiho didn't do this ? He can't, he's my best friend, he didn't right ? It's a misunderstanding ! It has to be ! I'm alone, in the dark, hearing fake screams and crying. It hurts, and like always no one will come for me...

 

A/N well THIS is WEIRD but i kind of like it the way it is :3 don't you readers think it's too fast? i just don't know... well i hope you like it anyway and thanks to the subscribers!! (even if you're not a lot it still makes me reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaallyy happy x3)