“Arielle!” My mother’s hoarse voice awakens me.

I fall out of bed and rush to her. My mind racing with images of her being hurt.

“Mom, are you okay?!” I call, almost falling through her bed room door.

“Get me some aspirin” She whispers, holding her head in her hands.

“We don’t ha-“

“Then go to the pharmacy!” She yells, tossing her purse at me.

It’s six in the morning, will the pharmacy even be open? I slide into my clothes, and pad out of the house. I walk through the street, shaking because of the cold morning air. I didn’t think it would be this cold.

I enter the pharmacy, and slouch through the aisles. I notice the aspirins and grab a box of them. I rush to the counter and almost bump into the man in front of me. I look up and bite down on my lip when I realize it’s Luhan. Why is he at the pharmacy this early? Should I greet him? No, I shouldn’t, after all I do still hate him (okay so I don’t, but he thinks I do, so  I’m sticking with it). I peak at the pills he’s getting. But he turns around just as I start to see the pills’ name.

“Arielle?”

I look up and gasp as I see his face. He’s face is ashen, and beads of sweat covered his face. In all honesty he looked awful.

“You look…” I start, but his pained expression stops me from teasing him.

“Oh please go ahead” He grumbles.

“What’s wrong with you?”

He looks at me, as if he’s thinking hard about what to answer.

“It’s just flu… I probably got it because I took care of you instead of myself”

I glare at him.

“I never asked for your help”

He smiles at me wryly.

“You didn’t reject it either”

Holy crap he looks so tired... He really must be sick.

“Well as fun as this was I have to go”

I watch Luhan as he shuffles out of the store. Eh, I’m sure he’ll be back to his annoying self in a few days.

I pay for the pills, and exit the store. Out of the side of my eye, I notice someone sagged against the wall. I walk closer, it’s Luhan. I poke him softly, but he doesn’t respond.

“Luhan?” I whisper, shaking him.

He grunts in response, his face had now become even whiter.

“Get up” I whisper, pulling him to his feet.

I sling his arm over my shoulder, and almost fall to the ground. I didn’t expect him to be this heavy.

“My house is across the pharmacy” He whispers.

So that’s why his bike isn’t here.

I pull him along, barely making any progress.

“Come on, you have got to help me” I plead, as I feel my legs buckle underneath me.

“It must kill you to say that”

“Save the jokes for later” I grumble.

I set him against the wall as I open his front door. He basically falls into me, as I pull him back to support him.

“Just let me lie on the couch” He croaks.

I help him onto the couch, and place a pillow underneath his head.

“Thanks” he whispers, his eyes not even opening.

A guilty pang shoots through my heart. I can’t leave him like this. I don’t want his death on my hands. I sit down on the floor next to the couch.

“Do you need anything?”

“Water… please”

I jump to my feet, and tentatively pad through the house, looking for the kitchen. I open almost all the cupboards, looking for a glass. I throw water in the glass and rush back to him.

Luhan had somehow pulled himself into a sitting position and had a handful of pills. I hand him the pills and he chugs them all in one go.

“Thanks” He whispers again.

“It must kill you to say that” I tease, remembering how he said it to me.

“It would’ve been easier if that was what was killing me”

“Calm down it’s just flu” I roll my eyes.

“Yeah” He smiles at me, but his eyes seem dead.

“You really don’t have to stay” Luhan whispers softly.

I lean back against the couch, my cheek brushing against his hand.

“I’m not leaving you alone”

“Heh, like you care” He chuckles.

“Shush” I hush him, placing my hand on his forehead; his face wasn’t as sweaty as before, which was a good sign… I think?

“Could you not mention this to anyone?”

My eyes meet his for the first time, and my heart jumps. I never saw those green spots in his eyes, or how light his eyes really were.

“What?” He asks

I shake my head, “Nothing, and I won’t”

He looks at me in confusion. He must think I’m crazy… maybe I am, why am I so nice to this guy? It’s because of him being sick, I comfort myself.

“Where are your parents?” I ask him after some time

“Dead” He replies

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t-“

“Don’t, I’ve had enough sympathy for a lifetime”

I bite my lip, I shouldn’t have asked.

“I’m such an idiot” I mumble softly

“Isn’t that my line?”

I snort loudly, a wide smile on my lips.

“I guess it is”

“You know… you don’t look so bad when you smile”

I roll my eyes at him.

“Was that supposed to be a compliment?”

“Hmm… take it as you want” He grins.

I get up from the couch. Luhan now looked much better, and I’ve been here for 5 hours, so my mom is going to be beyond pissed when I get home.

“… If you want, I could make you dinner?” I suggest.

“And have you poison me?”

“I wouldn’t do that! Besides that’s your move, isn’t it?” I point out

“Ahh, but I didn’t really do anything to your food”

I shake my head in disbelief.

“Do you know how hungry I was?” I laugh, slapping his shoulder.

“Then you shouldn’t have called me a girl” He points out.

He gets up from the couch and towers over me, his face leaning in to mine.

“I’m not apologizing for it”

“And here I thought you might actually be nice”

“Me nice? Now how could that be possible?”

Our faces are now inches away from each other, and I can now see the details of his face so clearly. He really isn’t as bad as I thought. When he smiled he did have a cute little dimple. He was actually quite handsome…  His lips brush against mine, and my heart starts beating rapidly, my palms become sweaty, and I’m filled with… excitement and nervousness?

“You’re not stopping me?”

I pull away and shake my head. It’s because I didn’t get enough sleep, that’s why I’m being like this. I don’t like Luhan. I can’t possibly like him.

“I should go” I whisper, backing away from him.

He tilts his head and his face is unreadable.

“Oh and uhm dinner is at 6… so sh-show up if you want to”

I exit his house, before he can reply.

Why the hell did I invite Luhan? After that almost kiss? Why can’t I stop thinking about him? This isn’t right. Maybe it’s just because I’m overthinking everything. I mean it’s Luhan for pete’s sake. There’s no way I could ever have feelings for him.

“Why are there three plates set?” My mother asks from behind me.

“I invited someone over” I reply.

“Get rid of the one plate, I’m going out”

I turn around.

“Mom, you never eat here anym-“

“Who’s the parent here?”

“Y-you”

“Then do as you’re told”

I glare at my mother as she walks away. Would it kill her to be nice to me for once? Was she still pissed about me not bringing her asprins soon enough? I walk over to the table and am about to grab a plate, when there’s a knock on the door. Could that be Luhan?

“Hey you’re ear-“ I start to greet him, but stop when I realize that it’s a complete stranger.

“Is your mother here?” The stranger asks, and pushes past me.

“Uh, who are you?” I ask after him.

“Her date. Pour me a drink”

I stare at the guy. Who the hell does he think he is?

“Well?” He looks at me.

“I’m not your maid” I state.

The man closes the distance between us, and points his finger threateningly in my face.

“Uhm… Am I interrupting?” Luhan asks from the door.

I turn toward him, grateful to have him here. The man looks at Luhan and then at me.

“Come on” I whisper, taking Luhan’s hand in mine.

I take him toward my room, it’s the only sanctuary I have in this place.

“Ah, so this is your room?” Luhan whispers.

He walks around, inspecting everything.

“So uhm… that guy…” He looks at me, unable to think of what to say.

“Oh, he’s apparently my mom’s date” I answer.

“She doesn’t have very good taste in men…” He murmurs, smiling sheepishly at me.

“No she doesn’t...” I agree.

“How about you?”

I look up at Luhan in confusion.

“What about me?”

“How’s your taste in men?” He grins

“Hah, I don’t know… I’d like to think I have good taste”

“Oh yeah, I mean that guy from the restaurant is a keeper” He teases.

A giggle bursts from my lips. It felt good to be able to laugh after such a long time. Maybe I misjudged Luhan all along?

I meet Luhan’s gaze, and feel my heart flutter at the intensity of it.

“W-what?”

“I don’t know…” He answers, his face was confused, but there was a warmness that I’ve never seen before.

We’re interrupted by the front door slamming closed and a car speeding away.

“Did your mom leave?”

I nod my head.

“Without saying goodbye?”

I snort, “My mom isn’t really like other mom’s, let’s just leave it at that”

“And your dad?”

“He lives in Chicago, they got divorced when I was 6, and I haven’t really seen him much after that”

“Oh”

I smile at him warmly, “It’s not that bad really”

Without warning Luhan pulls me into a hug, and rests his chin on my head. A warm liquid runs down my cheek and I wipe at it. Noooo! I said that I’ll never cry in his arms again, why must I cry now? Damnit Arielle. it up. I wipe my eyes, the moment the hug breaks.

“Did I do something wrong?”

I shake my head.

“Then… why?”

I smile at him.

“There was just something in my eye”

“Both of them?” he asks incredulously.

“Shush” I grumble, leading him toward the dining table.

I put the food into the plates, while Luhan pours us some cola.

“Hey, Arielle… I’m sorry”

“For what?”

“Pushing you into the cactus”

I turn around, pointing accusingly at him.

“SO YOU ADMIT IT WASN’T AN ACCIDENT?”

Luhan’s eyes widen, and he in his breath.

“I can apologize, even if it was not my intention!” He protests.

“Liar!” I accuse, my gaze boring into him.

“Okay so I might have, but you didn’t accidentally spill your coffee on me!”

I gasp, glaring at him.

“I knew it! And that was an accident”

“Was it?”

We glare at each other for quite some time. We were now standing face to face, our bodies almost touching.

I open my mouth to admit that it wasn’t an accident, but my words are smothered by Luhan’s lips crashing down on mine. My arms sling around his neck as his arms encircle my waist and lift me up. What is this feeling? I’m not used to this feeling… actually I’ve never felt it before. Why is he so intriguing? The kiss ends, but the tingling sensation on my lips doesn’t leave. My breathing has become irregular, and I feel like I’m floating. Is this what Summer and Megan were always talking about?

“Huh, I thought you were going to punch me” Luhan chuckles.

“Didn’t you say that you’d never k-kiss me?” I stutter, still trying to compose myself.

“Just like I said I hate you… we both know it’s a lie” He replies, his fingers intertwining with mine.

I break away from him. No, this is too real. I don’t like this new feeling. I take another step away from him, what should I do? I… I just have to figure things out. Why am I feeling this? I’m going insane, I mean this is Xi Lu Han, he used to be so mean to me, I hate him.

“Is everything okay?” Luhan asks, his eyes fixed on mine.

I shake my head. How can everything be okay? I haven’t ever felt about someone like this, I’ve never been in a relationship. How am I supposed to just fall into it? What if he doesn’t like me? What if it turns out that this all is just a joke on me, and that he doesn’t care about me? Why is he being so nice to me anyway?

“Arielle…”

“Y-you should leave”

Luhan opens his mouth to argue but he closes it, and nods his head silently.

“If you decide… how you feel… call me?”

What would my decision entail? If I feel the same, will it result in a white picket fence, with a perfectly cut lawn, a happy family… am I even right for that type of life? I’m overthinking this, I don’t even have his number, I shouldn’t take his number either. I have to stop this before it begins, I can’t be this person. I am not this person.

“Just leave”