I felt my muscles tensing because of the cold, I should have put some warm clothes before leaving, but I needed to clear my mind, I needed to go away from there and clear my ideas after all that had happened. I turned right, left, right again, the buildings were blurred spots passing by my side. I wanted to stop thinking, but all that had happened tonight was repeating in my mind over and over again.

*

"Se il vous plâit, could you stop eating in front of the hungry? Merci" The effeminate voice of François sounded close while he was passing quickly by our side. He kept walking around in backstage, putting the finishing touches to the costumes of the models and shouting orders right and left. "I mean it, stop it, you're going to eat all of her makeup Chaerin" I separated laughing, like her. He was right, the lipstick of my girlfriend had disappeared almost completely, I bet that much of it was in my face.

François had become one of my best friends almost from the start. Although he had been working for this firm for years and I was just a rookie, he never underestimated me and never treated me as if I was less than him, unlike Charles... We hated him and working with him was an agony, but he had talent and no one could deny it.

"Chaerin" His voice snapped me out of my thoughts. He was one of the few people who called me Chaerin, in fact he was the only one in France that did it, for the rest I was CL. I love how he pronounces my name with his French accent, sometimes I'm not sure if he's calling me by my name or is just saying 'Chérie'. "Release her already! She has to leave in two minutes" I realized I still had my hands round the waist of my girlfriend.

"Oh! Pardon" A makeup artist approached her as soon as I released her to put her lipstick again. I looked in the first mirror I found and, as expected, my mouth was covered in red. I tried to clean it with my hand and sat on a comfortable couch to watch François going to and fro restlessly, making sure everything was as he wanted.

Not that I was a lazy person that doesn't wanna help, but ensuring even the smallest detail was not my thing. I love designing clothes, but I do not put it to the models. That was François' thing.

"Here, if you want to take a look" The serious and irritating voice of Charles and the sharp drop of something on my lap startled me. I shot him a glare that to no avail, because he didn't had bothered to look at me, and I turned my eyes to what he 'gave' me. It was the guest list to the fashion show. I glanced just knowing that I wasn't going to know anyone and if I knew them I wasn't interested at all.

I passed a couple of pages. Each one equivalent to the row where they would sit, first page was for the first row, the second for the second row... Suddenly something caught my eye and I had to became pale, because François said "Are you OK? It seems you just see a ghost... Or rather, you look like when I see one of my ex-boyfriends" A female laughter followed that sentence, but soon disappeared at my astonished gaze on him. "Wait... Really?" He took a few steps forward "Is... is her?" I nodded.

I got up from the couch and walked to a hidden place behind some curtains that were part of the decoration. From there I could see much of the guests, but not very well, because the light was poor. Suddenly something caught my attention. A face illuminated by a light from below, probably from a mobile. I squinted to focus better.

There was no doubt. It was Dara.

*

Unconsciously I left town and headed to a place I knew well, where I'd never wanted to return after that day... but something kept me from turning around.

The moonlight shone enough to make out the silhouette of things. Buildings were now only houses, and minutes after almost everything was covered by trees, which told me that I was near. I revved the engine a little. I had not gone that fast since the day of the accident.

Part of me was excited to feel the freedom that only the bike could give me, but another part was scared, memories of that day were still there, I could still feel the pain all over my body. All the days, weeks, months I went to rehab to walk again as before, and all... all because of her. It was all her fault... Everything that happened in my ing life had the same cause...

Sandara Park.

*

Right. Left. Right. Left. Damn cars. It was rush hour in Seoul and the streets were jammed with traffic. People leaving work, parents who were looking for their children to school... The city was in chaos at that moment of the day.

And then I saw her sideways, or so it seemed, because when I turned to see if it was her I sighed in relief when I realized that I was wrong.

When I looked forward it was too late ...

I woke up in the hospital several days later, or so I'm told. I had emergency surgery in my leg, and a couple of subsequent operations to solve other things I'd rather not remember. Conclusion: Two broken ribs, a broken leg and injuries, or rather burns, all over his body. They told me they found me several meters from the crash site. That I was still alive was a miracle. But what hurt me most was losing my 'baby'.

I spent several weeks there locked up, for me as if they were years. My only company was my mother who tried to come all the time that the job allowed her. Now that I could no longer work she had to find another job to pay the costs of the hospital. I felt , I felt I was just a burden to her...

"Where is this girl... Dara? Didn't she come to visit you?" My heart sank. Why the hell did she have to name her?

"No" I replied coolly.

"It's been long I last saw you with her... Did something happen?"

"No" I said again, this time more coldly.

"You know you can tell me whatever you..."

"Nothing happened! Leave me alone!" I felt even more saying that but it was the only way to shut her up, to stop her from talking about it. The physical pain was enough.

*

I shook my head to clear those thoughts from my mind. Every time I thought about my mother or the accident I felt an uncomfortable pressure in the chest. Now I was alone in the world, and I should accept it. Yes, I have a girlfriend, but she doesn't fill the emptiness I feel, she... She is replaceable.

I went into the forest. Unlike the city, this place has not changed at all. The road remained of land, created by the passage of vehicles on the grass. About five minutes later the trees began to disappear. I finally reached the clearing. The sky was clear. The stars shone ten times more than in the city. I could see the trail of the Milky Way in the sky. Another thing that has not changed... The sky.

Or maybe yes. Somewhere I read that many of the stars we see today died thousands of years ago. It's interesting and disturbing at the same time, it's as if we were told that we live in the past... Although in part it is true.

I braked. I turned off the engine and silence was all that was heard. My footsteps on the grass sounded twice as strong in the absence of other sounds. I took off my helmet and left it in the seat. A cricket began to sing, probably the noise of the bike had scared it so he had remained silent until now. This time another one joined the first cricket. I found it relaxing. I sat on the floor and sighed before lying down with hands under my neck, looking at the sky. I was no longer feeling cold. I closed my eyes and memories of today came back to haunt me.

*

"I told you to wait me out!" My eyes widened. ! I did not remember that I had left the place to wait for her... As I saw Dara I forgot completely. Did not expect to see her there. I had told to her and her stupid husband that I would see them at the After Party, but certainly I did not think she would actually come... And much less alone.

"I know, I'm sorry, but... I met her at the door and didn't want to leave her alone, you know... She doesn't know anyone" She glanced towards Dara coldly and looked at me.

"Who is she?" Back to square one. Jealousy attacked again.

"It's the old friend I told to you about"

"With the one you went for lunch and dinner?" Asked squinting.

"Yes, I introduced you to her after the fashion show too. No need to worry ma chérie" Before I could react she had her lips on mine. I think awkwardness is not sufficient to describe what I felt at that moment. I separated the least roughly I could, sideways I could see that Dara had turned away and looked uncomfortable... No wonder why.

"Vous voulez danser?" She whispered sensualy into my ear, if not because Dara was barely five feet of us it would . Before I could answer she was dragging me to the dance floor. I tried to say something to Dara but the distance and the music prevented her from hear me.

I danced with her, I had no other. She had her arms around my neck and ended up moving my hips to the beat of their own. This reminded me too much to... I looked over to where Dara was to distract and cool my mind. I did n