Once again I felt his warm body hugging me from behind, I clicked my tongue "What's wrong Dara?" He whispered in my ear before biting it. I shook my head to stop him.

"I've told you I'm not in the mood. Please" He sighed and finally left me. He was like the last 10 minutes insisting on making love. I don't know how he still can want to do it after accompaning Haru to the ER at night. Apparently she had a fever and that made her vomit a few times. In the hospital he was prescribed a drug and by now seemed to work. At least she had fallen asleep.

We got home at almost 3 in the morning, I just had four hours before getting up for work, and he the same, but he insisted on having . Is he crazy? I don't want to appear as a zombie in the office tomorrow. And if we add that I can't get her out of my head...

So close, I had her so close... I could feel the muscles in her back in my hand, how they moved almost imperceptibly, at the slow pace of her breathing. I lost control. I got lost in her eyes. As if I were a magnet positive and she was the negative, or vice versa. I Don't know what went through my head at that moment, all I could see were her eyes obscured by the lack of light. For the first time since I saw her again I could see some humankind, a feeling through them. She was sad, hurt by the loss of her mother. She was all she had in this world after... After I left her.

*

I moaned again, for the umpteenth time. Her hot breath on my neck, her wet tongue in my ear. I dug my nails into her back and she complained, but didn't stop. She bit the skin near my collarbone. I could feel it in my abdomen, running through my body, from head to toe and from toe to head. The final moans filled the room before I collapsed again on the mattress, with my body already relaxed after the tension I just felt.

She removed her body from mine to let me catch my breath but I hugged her hard, puting her against me again. I felt her laughter in my neck "You should try to breathe before hug me" She joked, kissing my cheek.

"I'd rather die drowned with you than breathing without you"

"Oh my God, no! I think I need to go to the bathroom, I'll..." She said before putting her fingers in as if she were about to vomit. I hit her in the arm laughing. Yes, that was too cheesy, but... It was what I felt. I'd rather drown with her because, why to breath without her if just thinking about it made me gasp for air?

We were looking at each other for several seconds. Minutes. Hours. I don't know how long it was and I didn't care. I was lost in her eyes and in her lopsided grin, the smell of her skin and her touch in the palm of my hands. Her slow breathing caressing my face, as well the golden locks falling over me. "You make me weak Ssantoki" She whispered. I raised an eyebrow in interrogation. "I've never cared this much about any other than myself or my mother"

I smiled. Every sentence, every word she said flooded me with a feeling of warmth and calm. I picked up one of her disordered blond locks behind her ear. "I never before had cared so much about someone else..." I whispered in reply. I was always the darling of mom and dad. I always had everything I needed, and what I didn't need too. That made me selfish. All that mattered in my life was me, myself and I. I cared about what others thought or said about me, and I still care. I always wanted my parents to be proud of me, I never did the opposite they said to me, or at least that's what they thought, because Chaerin was absolutely the opposite of what they wanted for me.

She changed me, she made me realize that there is a world beyond myself. I had dozens of friends and acquaintances, but none had achieved what she got. I would have given my life for her, if someone tried to stab her I wouldn't hesitate for a second to stay between her and the knife...

Although in the end, it was me who stabbed her.

*

Even today I look my reflection in the mirror and I realize that, despite how much Chaerin changed me, I'm still the same. I care about what people think of me. I care about the rumors that arise about me and my family, and especially... I'm still trying to make my parents feel 'proud' of me. And I succeeded. I have an amazing husband and I have given them wonderful grandchildren. I have a fairly good job, like my salary, but thanks to my husband I still maintain the high standard of living I had when I lived with my parents.

A snoring sounded in the silence of the room. Finally he had fallen asleep, at least now he wouldn't bother me anymore. That idiot... I wanted to gouging out his eyes when he faced Chaerin because of the bike. ¿Chaerin limping leg? That's stupid, she told me that the accident was not anything serious... Did she lied? And if so... why? To don't make me worry? To don't have to give me explanations?

I changed my position to try to sleep, even though I knew the cause of my insomnia was not an uncomfortable posture. The thoughts swirled in my head like a swarm of bees.

When I saw her with Seho was like... there are no words to describe it. For a second I imagined how it would be starting a family with Chaerin. She loves children, that cold and serious facade that she kept with adults collapsed completely when she was with a kid. It was one of the things that surprised me most about her personality, one of the things that made me fall even more for her. I love Seho, I love Haru and... I won't lie, I love Chaerin. That Chaerin gets along with them is... as I said there are no words. Three of the people I love most in the world... No! The 3 people I love most in the world playing together... If that does happen at some point, rest assured that it will be the best day of my life.

I changed my position again. My husband's snores were becoming stronger. I shook him a little with the help of my foot and he finally stopped... but not for long. I should sleep before he snores again, I tried to leave my mind blank, without success. Her eyes, her hair, her lips... everything was played in my mind over and over again. I felt so helpless... It was me who choosed my husband over her. Why can't I stop thinking about her for a single day of my life? Why do I keep loving her? It's assumed that a person chooses something because it's what he wants... Who am I trying to lie? Everyone chooses what suits them best. A man with a good job, handsome, upper class, all this against a woman who changed jobs every now and then because they fired her, too beautiful but with a low status and family problems... If I say you to put feelings aside and you have to choose one of them the choice is clear, right?

That's what I did. I forgot feelings and chose the best for me, or rather... What the rest of the world thought was best for me. Not a day I don't regret it, not a day in which I don't miss her, in which I want, if only, hug her again.

Will I ever see her? As she said, I don't know. All I know is that I will do everything in my power to find her, at least once more before she returns to France.

It's been three days since the disastrous dinner and I'm still looking for an excuse to talk to her. I thought about calling her again but... what if she never wants to see me again? What if I'm just a nuisance? She has come here for work, or so she said.

"You ready?" A male voice sound across the door "We'll be late"

"Five minutes"

"Hurry up! I already know your five minutes..." I finished painting a black line on my lower lid and looked myself in the mirror. Just missing the lipstick and I would be ready.

I hated these events. The company of my husband was sponsoring some of the events that took place in the city and sent one of its most important and representative workers. This time it was my husband, and therefore me. You know, the image of happy businessman with beautiful wife is beneficial for the company... I do not even like this kind of events. They just sit in an uncomfortable chair, often without backrest, and see how emaciated women and men walk on a catwalk wearing strange clothes that nobody would wear in the street, and challenging gravity with such high shoes.

Red lips, a couple of retouches on my hair and ready! I left the bathroom. My husband was already waiting at the entrance. I put a few things in my black Prada's purse "Finished" I said smiling.

"Wow, you're... beautiful. Gorgeous. Perfect... There are no words to describe you" I laughed. He took every moment to make a compliment or flatter me. He grabbed my hand and made me turn to look at me better "Wow" He said again without stop looking at me and ran his hand around my waist, pulling me closer to him, "My wife is the iest" He joked before kissing me. I wrapped my arms around his neck to dig a little the kiss. "We better go before I won't be able to control myself from remove this dress that suits you so well"

"And if it suits me so well why would you remove it?" I said near her lips sensually.

"Because your skin will suit you even better" We both laughed like idiots. Finally we parted to leave the apartment. Just when I opened the door he gave me a slap on one buttock and I jumped surprised, looking at him "Sorry, I couldn't help it... Have I told you that you're beautiful?" I laughed again and rolled my eyes. Always the same...

We reached the building where the event will take place some minutes later. Hundreds of people swirled at the entrance of the place, many photographers, and many others fans of idols that used to be photographed before entering. As expected we couldn't go through the main entrance, that was reserved only for celebrities, so the driver of the company of my husband left us at the side entrance.

"CL! CL!"

I was shocked to hear that name. I looked to the front door but saw only people and camera flashes, it was impossible to distinguish someone. Did I imagine it? Probably yes. Hundreds of people from around the world came to enjoy the Seoul Fashion Week. From America to Europe, not forgetting, of course, people from other parts of Asia. These people spoke very different languages, so it is logical that I had misunderstood a word or phrase in another language... Yes, probably I only heard wrong.

Bow down. Handshake. Bow down again. Handshake again. That's what my husband and I were doing the first 15 minutes just after entering the site. The walls in black and a white catwalk in the center, plus small banks, as expected with no backrest, at sides of this. We found our seats in the third row. The first was reserved for celebrities and public figures, the second for less important people that in the first, and the third for those who were there as ornaments, like us.

My husband squeezed my thigh with his hand and smiled. He knew I did not like this type of event and he was trying to comfort me. The only thing that would comfort me at the time was leave and go home. The lights went out, leaving only lit the walkway. Music, models, the most diverse clothing and impossible heels was all I could see in the next few minutes.

I yawned a couple of times. I was not interested at all. I searched my mobile in the bag and unlocked it. Play Candy Crush seemed much more interesting than that stupid fashion show. I applauded when people applauded just for education and respect, even though playing with the phone when a designer is showing his work of months is not very respectful.

A voice echoed through the place indicating that now the designers would come out to greet. It seems that this brand of clothes had 3 major designers. They said something like... François? Charles and... CL? Did they say CL?

My heart raced at her golden hair shining through the foci. She walked down the catwalk followed by the models. The typical 'victory lap' at the end of each show. The models left leaving only the 3 designers, greeting and bowing before retiring too.

I only breathe again when I realized that it was necessary to live. I turned my head slowly and looked at my husband, who had his eyes on me. He seemed as surprised as me... We had talked talked about Chaerin's work several times, but now that I remember, we never asked her in what brand was she working. All she said was that it was a known brand of clothing and accessories in Paris. Nothing more.

"The world is a village" I heard my husband whispering. I just nodded. It was the only thing simple enough for my brain to give the order... Nodding. He was still staring at the place where she had disappeared from the runway. I swallowed hard.

"You have to go to greet her... right?" I asked my husband. He nodded. After finishing the parade it's custom of the company to congratulate the designers and related personnel of the clothing brand. I sighed, opposite feelings swirled in me. Excitement and joy to see her again, but discomfort of being with my husband again. "What's the matter? I thought she was your friend".

"Huh? Yes, she is. No problem" Apparently, my sigh had reached his ears. "Come on" I said before grabbing his hand and guide him to the room adjacent to the gateway before he could do any other questions.

Event goers were already filling this room. there was was ostentatiously decorated tables covered with food, also ostentatious, and waiters walking around among the people, doing balancing with the tray of drinks, offering champagne to everybody. Champagne. No doubt that was a French clothing line.

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