Chapter 13

When Changmin came to, his head was splitting. Groggily he lifted a hard to clutch his head but felt restricted pricks on his arms. There was some foreign sensation on his forehead and his legs felt numb. Finally, he willed himself to open his eyes and blinked past the blurry vision. He was too weak to move his head, so he settled at examining his surroundings with the limited movement his eyes could do. 

He recognised he wasn’t in his own room, much less on his own bed. The dull walls and sterile smell told him he was at the hospital and the darkness told him it was night. Why and how? The higher faculties of his mind weren’t functioning optimally to answer them. He raised his hand slightly and saw the IV drips in his arm. The bambi eyes followed the length of the tubes and found the bottles of saline and blood hanging on the stand. Beside it was the machine showing his steady heartbeat. For some reason his other hand felt like there’s some weight on it. So he used all his energy to turn his head to the other side. He found the familiar dark brown tuft of hair on his side. Yunho’s hand was on Changmin’s wrist, and instead of sleeping sideways like people normally do beside the patient’s bedside, Yunho’s forehead was precariously sitting on the edge of the bed. One shove and his father would be nose-diving under the bed and Changmin internally winced at the thought of his father smashing his face the second time in 3 days. But a little disgust took over the boy when hew a thin string of saliva hanging from his father’s mouth. Too think the charismatic attorney was a haphazard, drooling mess of a sleepy bear!

Slowly, memory came back. Changmin remembered his parents’ fight and wanting to run away because seeing his mother so wounded. He remembered getting into an elevator and stepping out midway because some people entered in it and he didn’t want them to see his tears. He remembered those damned crap he stuck on his bag that conveniently hooked itself in a thin gap between the railings that were there solely for ornamental purposes. Really, whose bright idea was it to have 1 inch gaps in the railing of the emergency stairway! He remembered frustratingly pulling his bag unsuccessfully, then losing his balance and next thing he knew he was flying over the entire flight of stairs and then blackness.

Changmin looked around the room in the dim lighting. If his father is here, than his mother is here too. Sure enough, Jaejoong was lying down on the sofa directly opposite the bed. Her body was draped in the drab hospital blanket and she lay on her side with her eyes open. Changmin could tell, they were open even in the dark. It’s just the way those doe- eyes shined, irrespective of light or dark, happy or sad, or empty like when he was younger. Another give away was the fact that Changmin knew his mother wouldn’t be able to sleep. It was like this since forever.

Whenever Changmin had a fever, Jaejoong would stay up all night till the fever broke and then sleep. When 2 year old Changmin burnt his hand while trying to eat frim his mother’s hot stew, Jaejoong sat with the cold compress on the slender thigh till 2 in the morning. When he was 3 and fell of the bicycle, his knee and forearm were hurting even though they were small bruises and scratches. But it was a lot for a 3 year old and Jaejoong held Changmin the whole day and even stayed up for about 4 hours rocking her baby to sleep because Yoochun had to be a nosy idiot and poke the bruise. When he got his first bout of food poisoning last year, she stayed awake to call him a food monster every time he crawled out of the bathroom.

Changmin met his mother’s eyes and smiled how much ever his present state permitted. Jaejoong gave him a smile of her own and closed her eyes. She knew her son was okay now, no need to call a doctor and make a scene. She can finally surrender to slumber. Anything that needs to be done can be done in the morning.

When Changmin confirmed his mother was asleep, he relaxed a bit. He wished she would grow out of that habit but he felt cherished, so no complaints. Actually he can never have any complaints about his mother. The woman gave her whole life to him and in return he gave her pain in a short span of three days.

He turned his head to look at his father again, who by now was sleeping uncomfortably on his chin. The feeling of his bandages on his head registering finally and Changmin winced a bit. The physical pain however outweighed the pain in his mind and heart. He never thought this would happen and he would be stuck having to choose between having a father or mother. If he was a naïve little kid, he would keep questioning why he couldn’t have both, but he was far too mat