CHAPTER 6
11:30 PMWe both walked in and sat down. Her work was already in progress. The keyboard, the music pad and the desktop were on, her notebook was opened on the desk and so were 4 cups of coffee.
“I only have one week left, but I already have the lyrics so we’re halfway there.”
“What about the choreography and the cover song?”
“Those are already done; I just need to practice, but less talking and more working. First, I want you to read the lyrics.” She handed me her notebook delicately. The page was all written with some doodles here and there.
“Before dreaming - no, even before closing my eyes
The thing I’ve been imagining since when I was very young
The fast songs I sang every day without even realizing
Clearly different songs than those my friends listened to…” *
I kept on reading over and over again. Never have I ever related to a song so much. I saw myself in it. I saw myself at the age of 14 writing my first song, at 17 entering Big Hit and at 20 debuting in Bangtan. The song was beautifully written, I think every rapper can relate to it. But most importantly, it told a story, her story.
“This is good.”
“Really?” She smiled brightly.
“Not bad for a trainee.”
“Yah!” she took the notebook away from my hands “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Exactly what you heard.” She rolled her eyes so hard I thought they were going to pop out.
“Why did you diss me?”
“I was angry.” She said with no hesitation.
“I’ve never been dissed before, you know that?”
“I’m more than honored to be the first one.”
I chuckled “It was quite impressive.” She turned her attention to me “You have rhythm, you’re aggressive and you know how to use words. Have you done it before?”
“Yes. I used to perform at NB.” She stopped for a few seconds and smiled “It was amazing. The place was crowded every single night; people were always dancing and drinking. Then, around midnight, the rap performances would begin. Anyone could join; all you had to do was just sign up. That’s how I started. I started performing every night, artists would challenge me to rap battles and other clubs would call me to perform. People would recognize me every now and then and I even put some songs up but I needed more. I needed a bigger stage and a bigger audience. That’s why I auditioned for Big Hit. I want to get myself heard, I want to perform.” She looked at me “I just really want to make my dream come true.”
I remained silent. The light from the computer was hitting her face and I could see her eyes sparkle and her cheeks turn red. She has guts. She has talent and passion, she clearly knows what she wants and she’s willing to do everything to get it. She’s determined and that’s one of the strongest features anyone can have. I know it’s too soon to pick a side and it’s unfair to the other trainee since I haven’t seen perform, but Hana’s got me. I know she has what it takes to win.
She hid her face behind her hands “Why did I just tell you all that, I’m sorry!”
“I was going to ask you about anyways, so it’s okay.”
She fake coughed and put the music pad on her lap “For the beat, I originally had this.” She pressed a few buttons and music started coming from the small square machine. I waited for the song to finish and squatted next to her “It’s good, but try removing this and add this one instead.” She looked at me unsure. I nodded and she did what I suggested. She pressed play and closed her eyes. A smiled formed on her lips and she was nodding along with the sound of the beat.
“I think we got it” she said, pausing the song and placing the music pad back on the desk.
“You don’t want to keep working on it?”
“No. We’ll edit the rest later but this is mainly what I wanted. Thank you.”
“No problem.”
She got up and grabbed her cup of coffee “Want some?”
“No, I’m good.”
I sat back on the couch and she sat next to me.
“What happened?”
“What?”
“That day, what happened?” she took a sip of her drink and put her legs on the couch, making herself comfortable.
If it were someone else I probably would make something up, but I yelled at her, I made her cry and I deleted her song. The least I can do is tell her the reason why I acted like that. I own her that.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with my lately. I’ve been more tired than usual, everything has been getting on my nerves and I don’t know how to deal with it.” I was waiting for a sarcastic comment but she kept quiet. I sighed and continued “This is not the first time something like this happens, but that day I was really fed up. I’m really sorry for what I did to you. That wasn’t an idol like behavior of me and I want you to know that I’m truly sorry. I hope you can forgive me someday.”
She took another sip and got up. She grabbed her notebook and her bag and headed to the door.
“I leave work at four and then I’m going to practice until eight. Do you have anything scheduled for tomorrow?”
“I finish practice at the same time.”
“Good. Be here at ten and bring coffee.”
She walked out and before I knew it, I was smiling to myself.
* - Like I said before, I'm not a rapper and I don't write songs. The lyrics used in this chapter are from "Beginning" by Choi Sam.
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