"Shoot first, questions later."

              Forgetting is like a candle. The flame and candle might disappear, but the wax leftover is still there. As much as I wanted to forget, my brain keeps putting on a show. I even went to the point where every night I had to get my asthma inhaler and use it. 

             After a few visits from the doctor, she finally recommended that I use my inhaler. As for Psychotherapy, I’ve received it since I was fourteen I probably memorised what they’re going to say. Looking in the mirror, about two to three purple-brown bruises stand out in front each side of my neck.

        Another hickey is found right at my collarbone. There’s not a single bottle of concealer in my house. And that means I have to wear turtlenecks underneath my uniform until they’re barely noticeable. At least it’s not summer, if I was I would be melting like the Wicked Witch of the West who had just got water all over her evil face. 

“Knock, Knock” Kyungsoo says knocking on my bathroom door. 

“Who is it?”,

“Orange,”, 

“Orange you going to let me in?” Kyungsoo giggles at his own joke.  Opening the bathroom the door, I snarl 

“Not funny,” I pop his bubble of glee.

Kyungsoo beams even more. Furrowing his brow, he says

“Why are you wearing a white turtle neck?”, I groan. 

Telling Kyungsoo what happened would only make him worry, and when Kyungsoo is worried too much he’s going to act like he’s on pins and needles. 

“It’s my new style,” I crack a smile brushing it off on my shoulders. 

Kyungsoo nose wrinkles, “You’re hiding something,” He assumes. The nerves from the tip of my fingertips to the tips of my toes start to tingle. 

“What do you mean?” I fidget with my thumbs making them dosey doe around each other. I sigh, 

“Look, I know that you’re concerned for me as a friend but will it kill you if you give me just a little bit of privacy?”,

“Oh okay, I understand.” Kyungsoo nods his head. 

    Ending the conversation, we do our usual routine of walking to school together. Entering the front gates, just like every other day. But as soon as Kyungsoo leaves, a grip tightens around my wrist. The contact triggers fear and it slowly starts to prickle down my neck. 

 “Nice turtleneck,” A low voice vibrates crawling up and into my spine. 

      For a moment, I freeze. Its him -it’s Kai. Shoot first, ask the questions later. Without even taking a peak at his destructive looks, I yank my fist out of his grip and start to walk ahead of him in a faster pace.

     The fast pace of my steps go faster and faster, just like my heart, and eventually I’m sprinting into the crowd of people walking in all sorts of directions. As quick as a wink, his hand grips onto my wrist one again. This time, I had the courage to face him. 

“Didn’t you hear what I said? Nice turtle neck,” I rivet his gaze. 

“Get your disgusting hands off of me.” I grit my teeth.

"Do you really want your picture in as the headliner of the school's newspaper?" His alarming voice warns me. And I am forced to hide my courage once again. 

“Are you dating Kyungsoo?”, 

“Look, I don’t see the point in talking to you if you keep bombarding me with questions. A-and aren’t you happy enough on what you’ve done to me?” My hands tremor and my eyes are plant on a spot at the ground. 

”Just answer my question!” Kai grips my wrist even tighter cutting of the circulation between my fingers and the rest of my body. 

“N-no,” A brick drops in my stomach. I feel like I’m lying to myself. 

      For all I know, we’re only just friends. Besides, I’ve never thought of Kyungsoo like that, and I doubt he would think of me that way. Everything gets interrupted by the bell, and Kai finally loosens the grip. And I’m free. 

     Almost running to the classroom, I put down my shirt and take my seat. Luhan sits peacefully with his legs on top of the table; his eyes closed trying to ignore his surroundings. A few minutes pass, and Kai enters the classroom. 

      He spots Luhan and reaches into a pocket to the side of his bag. A 250 ml water bottle filled with water appears before my eyes, with its cap already popped open.  The water bottle tilts and waters poures onto Luhan’s oily blonde hair. 

     Luhan’s eyes shot open; Kai doesn’t stop pouring. A few seconds later, his voice produces a high-pitched screech, like a fan girl who is screaming her lungs out for a boyband. Cruel laughs fill the classroom; people everywhere with their phones had recorded everything from the start. 

      It’s funny how a lot of people admire/praise you for all sorts of things, but in just one event they all turn their own backs at you. It only takes a second to betray someone. Luhan sits with his eyes glaring at Kai, with his mouth wide open in shock, with his entire face dripping wet. There never was a friendship option for Kai and Luhan. Everything stops; the teacher comes in and looks at Luhan and Kai. 

“What happened?” She says,

“Luhan wet himself.” Kai giggles. 

“That’s not funny Mr. Kim” Her voice becomes stern and strict. Grabbing my bag, I rummage through it to find a blue sweater.

“Here, wear this” I give it to Luhan. His eyes look at me with thankfulness. Kai snorts at my gesture, 

“What a goodie-goodie.” He mutters. Luhan quickly accepts and wear my sweater with pride.

“Everyone we have yet another new student, this is Oh Sehun,” 

        The teacher directs us to the boy whose rainbow hair is popping out of the frame of the doorway. His thick eyebrows highlight pale skin tone; on top of that his face is young, and fresh. It’s the type of face perfect for aegyo. 

      Timidly walking into the classroom with his head up filled with confidence, I notice the eye contact between him and Luhan. Do they know each other? An eerie reeks out of Kai as Sehun takes the seat to his right. 

Almost like Kai knows a secret that shouldn’t be revealed.

...

             Lunch comes, and I find myself bluntly wandering around the halls looking for Kyungsoo. Spotting Sehun and Luhan walking in the hallways side by side, my curiosity urges me to follow them. When to one’s around Luhan and Sehun make their way to the Janitor’s closet. 

            Creeping up like a sly fox, I press my ear against the door. Muffled sounds range from loud to moderate volume. As I open turn the knob, the door creaks open. And I don’t know how to react. Oh Sehun and Luhan were just making out. With a force, both of them clutch both of my forearms, and they drag me into the janitor’s closet.

“I can explain,” Luhan stammers,

“And I thought you were perfectly straight.” I say in disbelief and denial. 

“Remember when, I told the troops to beat up Jongin? Do you really thing I’d do that on purpose? He knew this secret. Everyone was starting to suspect me at that time, and I tried to cover it up using you…” Luhan trails off.

“A-And you did all of that just because you were scared to reveal who you truly are!? You did all of that just to maintain your popular reputation!?” 

   My glare is powerful enough to burn a mark through their eyes. Both of my arms thrash into Luhan hitting him hard. But soon my arms trail off losing its power, Luhan sniffles dragging the palm across his face. 

“Y-You’ve ruined a Jongin's life!- y-you’ve ruined mine.” I drift down and into the ground.

“Y-you’re not going to reveal it are you?” Sehun shakes with fear. No, I’m not going to reveal it. I’m going to let the truth reveal itself because truth doesn’t need a person to report it to every single person in the school. Getting up from the ground, I clear all the tears away. 

“As much as I want to use this secret to make you pay for ruining me and Jongin’s lives, I’m not going to reveal it. You two will live in fear of people finding out who you truly are.

      Fear is a monster, it’s going to tear you apart and make you into a much more horrible person if you don’t face it. That’s the revenge I’m going to give you as of this moment.” 

...

            A shrill pierces the air of my bedroom. It rings a couple times before an uncoordinated hand grabs it from the top of my bed dresser. As I swipe to open my phone, another message appears. 

[From: Kai]
Come to my house.

              The alarm clock glows the numbers 12:45 AM on my face. Struggling to get out of my bed, I don’t even bother to change into proper clothes. Wearing my favorite pair of teletubbie pajamas I hop on my red bicycle and start cycling towards Kai’s demon hole. 

“,” I cuss while shivering in the night breeze. 

         With all the lights, it’s a pleasant sight to see but not in your pajamas. In a few minutes, I arrive at Kai’s demon hole. Kai’s front gate and door is wide open. Isn’t he scared he’ll get robbed? Entering the living room, I spot Kai and a girl dresses in a bath robe, underneath it there’s a pink lingerie. Her expression becomes sour at the first look. 

"You're here!" Kai claps in amusement. The girl beside him snorts, scanning me up, down, then up, then down, before saying 

“What is a penniless squatter doing here?” She scoffs with utmost disgust.

“Relax, babe she’s just my maid. She comes here every night to clean my house.” Kai scorns. 

"Nice teletubbie pyjamas." She adds to Kai’s ridicule. 

“Well, thank you . ” I respond.

 I wasn’t in the mood to mess around. A sneer appears simultaneously on both of their faces. 

"Babe, let's cuddle." A playful giggle bubbles out of the girl, as she inserts her hand into Kai’s sweatpants. And a groan emits Kai.

"Oh, the cleaning supplies are at the 3rd floor. Clean up this whole entire house, I’m going to be busy so don’t bother me." Kai flings a pile of keys in my chest. 

"Excuse me, but I'm not your ing maid. Do it yourself." I stomp off towards the door. But he’s too swift, and he manages to claw his hands into my hair. Yanking it hard, His mouth makes its way toward my ear. 

“Do it or I’ll send the picture to every ing phone in Korea.” He snarls viciously. 

“Fine,” I quiver, the girl in the lingerie approaches Kai and inserts her hand into his V-neck t-shirt. 

“Babe, let’s do it now” She wines like a child. 

      Kai lets go of my hair, and I sprint into the elevator with tears rolling down my dry cheeks. All he had was a mop, and a broom. Scrubbing and wiping every single thing that I see, my arms become sore. Every room either had clothes all over the place, leftover food wrappers, or a pile of ripped papers.

     It’s 2:00 in the morning when I finally finish cleaning the first floor, and only the first floor. Taking the elevator back to the first floor, I enter one of the hallways where the guest bedrooms are located. 

     Peeking into one of the rooms, The woman in the lingerie is sitting straight up with her legs wrapped around Kai’s waist just where his the rim of his sweatpants are. Jamming his lips into the woman’s, his eyes are wide open staring at mine while he should be staring into his partner’s. 

    Shutting the door, I head to the second floor. I jump into his enormous couch, I quit. My favourite pair of teletubbie pyjamas is worn out and dirty. And crying is a stupid emotion to express right now, so I lay there in silence. Almost 30 minutes has passed, and the elevator dings. And Kai wobbles his way to the couch.

“Where’s your girlfriend?”,

“She’s not my girlfriend, I just met her 3 days ago. Tonight was her one night stand. And I broke up with her ever since I met her.” Kai guffaws.

       With a blink of an eye, Kai collapses on the couch beside me like a zombie. He’s intoxicated; I’ve already smelt the liquor already ever since the elevator had dinged. And I take this opportunity to sneak a look at his balcony that displayed Seoul’s beautiful lights. 

    The beautiful bright lights reminded me how my life isn't that bright-rather it’s filled with darkness, and cruelty. To the left of the Balcony view is an empty gigantic bookshelf. That is, until I spot one book neatly tucked in the corner. 

    As I struggle to pull the book out of the shelf, instead it tilts down 90 degrees and the entire shelf begins to move. I mentally scold myself, curiosity has gotten the best again and this time it will kill the cat. Puzzle-like wood pieces come together to form a stairway toward an empty room.

"Cool," I say in astonishment. 

       Every step I take on the wooden stairway, light turns on. So by the time I get to the end of the staircase, the room is fully lightened, and I could see everything vividly. It was a small room, yet it consists of layer upon layers of book shelves filled with comic books. 

     On the left corner of the room, a glass shelf filled with Star Wars figurines all align row by row perfectly in its place. And all of this specifically reminds me of… Jong In. The steps on the wooden staircase echo in the small room. 

"Hey Jong In..." I mindlessly say. 

Turning around Kai’s nostrils are flaring, his eyes filled with fury. His eyes shows the possible things he could do to me, things like burn me to death. 

"Don't ing call me Jong In."

*author's note

 HUNHAN UNEXPECTANCY. They're everywhere.

ot124ever

Last chapter edited! WOOHOOO!

*throws confetti*

oasisgrounds