"If I told you all my secrets, you would never look at me the same way ever again."

"Stupidity, Every human has it; and it won't come out unless you let it conquer you"

            With too much light shining on my face, my pupils are startled. A rush of energy runs through me, which is unusual. And there’s a big difference between the amounts of energy you have in the morning to plain happiness. Soon, I’m out of my house and walking to school.

       I yawn rubbing my eyes like a toddler, the first step I take into school door, cell phone ringtones ring at utmost loudness simultaneously. Next thing I know, everyone’s eyes are flickering back and forth between their cell phones and to me. Abruptly, my cell phone rings in the setting.

[From Luhan]
Surprise! And you’re welcome. I’ve done all the work for you, you now owe me.

        As I click the attachment to the text, my eyes are about to melt off their place. Everyone around me knows what’s going on, all the mistakes I’ve done. And I’m completely motionless not able to move a single step. All because Luhan revealed a simple picture of me pinned into the wall kissing him.

        Attention can also be a consequence. Attention could be a drug, the people who are dependent on it, will go as far as wrecking who they truly are just to get attention or to be noticed. Too much desire is too much greed.  Attention can be the root that turns you into a bad person. Attention can affect who you are. 

[To: Luhan]
I ing hate you.

       Luhan let the cat out of the bag, multiple cats actually. Not just the picture was revealed but the whole story on the dare. With everyone around me giving me ‘’ looks, I want to run away and never appear anymore. I want to disappear like thin air. But I’m tired of just running away, now I have to bite off more than I can chew.

       Defending myself and Jongin, that’s what I’ll do. Accepting labels will not be possible anymore. The only problem is, Jongin will never believe me. I lied to cover up my previous lies. Gluing pieces of the glass back onto the mirror won’t fix it; an explanation can’t fix anything especially if you just broke an important value: trust.

       Although, there are already pools of salty waters lingering in my eyes, I do not let them fall. Digging my nails into my palm, my hand forms a fistful of  tension and hatred.

        Pangs of regret, anger, and more combinations of mixed emotions run through me. One moment, I’m about to tear my hair apart, the other I’m about to rip Luhan’s head off. Sprinting around the school, Jongin is difficult to find like Waldo in 'Where’s Waldo'.

 "Where the is Jong In!?" I weep under my shaky breath.

        As I came to the den, Luhan leans on one of the lockers with his group of horrible people. As much as I hated to be spotted, his eyes are sharp and his actions are quick.

        Being chased by a monster in your dreams when you were nice wasn’t a nice feeling, and it sure wasn’t a better feeling being chased by the boy who is the root of your chaos and misery. Jongin and I could’ve settled this on our own, we could’ve mutually broken up and start to date again.

And I, I wouldn’t made a better decision by telling him everything behind the dare.

He’ll probably not agree to date me, but at least I would’ve spoken the truth.

"What’s up babe?" He catches me, and pecks my cheeks, also giving me a forced huge.  

Every word he says angers me, every move he makes disgusts me.

"You said, you wouldn't reveal anything!" my palm gives him an excruciating slap.

Still containing the pool of tears in my eyes, Luhan smirks and responds:

"So? I didn't PROMISE not to DO anything." Luhan nonchalantly shrugs his shoulders.

"Plus, Promises aren't MEANT to be kept right?" Luhan smiles in ridicule.

         Continuing my search for Jongin, the first bell rings. Filled with despair and frustration, I go to the class.

“Why are you late?” Mr. Seo sternly says; I don’t want to have to lie again.

“I wasn’t feeling well this morning, I threw up in the girl’s washroom.” But I just lied. Mr. Seo excuses me.

Staring off into the distance, Luhan is enjoying my pain. What a sadistic person he is.

...

         Lunch came, and I’m never going to give up on finding Jongin. As I pass the cafeteria, a swarm of people surround me taking pictures with me, hugging me, and smelling my hair. Basically the swarm did everything that involves bursting my personal bubble.

         And at the midst of it, I want to curl up into a ball and pretend all of this is just another twisted dream. I’m not claustrophobic, I just hate being in big crowds.  A hand pops into the swarm of people eventually grabbing my wrist. A Queenka hauls me to their table,

"Are you crying? Can you stop it?" The girl is assertive.

"You should be happy!" Luhan comes in from the back, and chuckles at me.

"You're officially a Queenka! Welcome to the family!" The one who made the dare says.

”Stepping on a person doesn’t make me happy,”,

“Don’t worry you’ll get used to it!”

         An innocent person shouldn't have been included in this situation, in the first place. Having no other choice, I head to the place that grants me solitude; the bench I eat my lunch in almost every single day. As I sat down, the cold breeze roars upon my own skin. Sorry is nothing. Sorry is an insult, if you say it with lack of meaning. It is an insult if you say it often, and Sorry is never the word that can fix problems just like that.

         The good thing is I finally know who I am now; I am a monster for not speaking out my thoughts, I am monster for letting people dictate what actions I should do, and because of that I had to cover up my previous lies with new ones. And worst of all, I had to break a person.

Guilt-ridden, foolish, a self-absorbed ; those words explain who I am.

         I could die right here, and right now. But I figured it wasn't the right time. There’s still more than ten million gallons of karma that I have to swallow. With tears streaming down my cheeks every second, a figure sits down beside me.

"So, this was all a gruesome joke?" Jongin’s voice cracks, I couldn't even speak.

"L-Let I explain." I say, he stands up.

"THERE IS NOTHING ELSE TO EXPLAIN!" He hollers in a loud bitter voice.

"I-I couldn't do anything. If I didn't do the dare-"Jongin interrupts me once more.

"So you're saying you were blackmailed!?"Jongin jabbers. Getting to my feet, I face him.

"Would it kill you to give me a couple sentences to explain or at least listen to me." I plead.

"Why the should I let you do that!? After you based this relationship on lies, how can I? You were lying all along; you got scared to tell me because you thought I would get mad. It’s true I would’ve got mad but I’m not a cruel person like all of them! I could’ve helped you get through this!

 Instead you kept on speaking lies, saying that you like me, saying that you needed me, saying that you loved me- You’ve made me into a cynical person. You played me for a fool. And it’s even funnier because I actually loved you- well I thought I did," Jong In bellows his words out. 

My legs can no longer bear the weight of my body, my kneecaps drop down onto the ground.

"I thought you actually liked me,",

"I-I did like you, you were the only one I could rely on-",

"Will you stop with all your ing lies!?" Jong In looks down at me.

"Let's Break Up.",

"That's right. I'm breaking up with you." We are both crying.

"I don't need a liar for a girlfriend.”

...

          Jong In didn't come to school for at least 2 weeks. Being hauled in every single day into the "popular group" and being swarmed by people is sickening; jarring actually. It’s a good thing that there’s a weekend. This Saturday morning, I had the courage to knock on Jongin’s door.

       But no response is generates. I’ve already made a decision not to leave his front steps until he lets me explain. Everything goes from bad to worse. Rain starts to pound vigorously on the pavement.

Who cares if I get sick?

        I'm the ignorant little that stepped on everything Jongin had. Shivering is nothing to me. I've been in the rain so many times, to the point where I am used to it.

        My phone keeps vibrating, as my eyes lay on the screen a blunt image is what I see. Luhan’s spamming me once again with pictures of himself; so self-absorbed. My left arm swings back to obtain momentum, and a Samsung Galaxy S4 goes flying out of my hand.

    Eventually landing on the pavement with a cracked screen and leaking battery. Besides, I needed a new phone anyway. Slipping into oblivion, all my thoughts ended and my consciousness fades away. 

     The next thing I know, I’m at a stranger's home resting on a Queen-sized bed. Please- don't tell me this is Luhan's home. But I’m mistakenly wrong. A boy with large eyes- about my age- comes into the room with a sandwich and juice in a tray.

"Are you okay?" He questions, I simply nod my head.

"Where am I? Am I dead?" His heart-shaped lips are intriguing.

"Why would you be dead?" He smiles,

"What happened?" I say.

"You were shivering your head off- near a house's front steps. It just happened that I was running around the neighbourhood." He explains.

"But I've never seen you before." Alert with Caution, I’m a bit tipsy but still afraid.

"Oh! That's because I'm moving in to a house nearby, in a few days or so." He says,

"What's your name by the way?",

"Well- my real name is: Do Kyungsoo. But some people call me D.O"

"Nice to meet you, I’m sorry; you had to carry me to your home." I smile half-heartedly.

"It isn't a big deal!" Leaving his house the rain had finally stopped.

Entering my house, I jump into my couch and try to forget what has happened recently.

... 

           Monday's are what I hate. Jongin attends the first class, but he isn't sitting next to me anymore. He's sitting at the very back of the room with a resentful look on his face, and it never left. No communication, no eye-contact, not a single greeting. There’s no point in bothering him anymore, because I know he won't listen.

Of Course, who wouldn’t listen to a liar like me?

          When the final bell rang, Jong In snatches my wrist and drags me in front of the school gates. Almost as if he intends for me to see something happen.

"I'm leaving." Jong In says as if it’s ‘no big deal’. Fixing my eyes on his uniform, After all I've done to him.

"Bye." Jong In says his rancorous farewell. Before he could take one more step, I wrap my arms around his waist. Breaking my arms around his waist, he says in disgust and antipathy

"Don't touch me.", almost pretending as if lying is a contagious disease that is spread through touch

"Where are you going",

"Are you THAT stupid? I'm going to study abroad."

“Good luck,” I yelp. Don't leave me. Please; I scream in my head, but I just can’t let it out.

           I’m now left alone by myself in total solitude. It’s better if you had at least one person to lean on, and now that I’ve broken everything, he can’t even bear to see my face every day. I don't want to go the "popular group." I don't want to be influenced by people who like hurting others just for fun.

Jong In finally steps into a black car. The car quickly leaves as I quickly sprint after it. Without knowing, I tripped and I fall face first. Jongin’s eyes watch me as I get farther and farther away from him, to the point where I don’t see his car anymore.

And that’s the last time I saw Jong In.

*author's note

 Guyyys. The plot of the story is finally coming In.

------>December 13 2014;

LOL I finally could edit two chapters(4 chapters I mean)

but as you noticed I joined the chapters!

EDITED! Okay bye.

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