Chapter 6 : What They Were Planning

Undefeatable Heartbreakers

    "So um..my shift is over,wanna take a walk with me around the park?" he said to you.

    "Um..okay. I have nothing else to do." you smiled and walked out of there to the park. It wasn't that far. You 2 walked, talked,and laughed. You thought of him as a brother you never had. You felt like you could tell him everything,but you always watched what you said and made sure not to give too much information.

    "I have a good reputation,did you know that my bank is the only bank in New York that has never gotten robbed?" he said smiling. You froze to what he had said.

    "Um..are you okay?" he asked facing you.

    "Uh...yes I'm fine....just got lost in thought. Um..is it okay if we sit on a bench?" you said heading toward a nearby bench.

    "Yeah,okay." he caught up to you. You both sat on the bench seeing a family play together.

    "This place is beautiful." you said snuggling into him.

    "It sure is." he said putting an arm around you. You checked your watch,it was 1pm. It had taken you a while to walk to the bank. You sat there with him,getting lost in your thoughts while he told you about his childhood and nodding for him to go on when he turned to you.

 

-Meanwhile-

 

     L.Joe had woken up a while ago. He was glad you had left him alone,but he was also worried where you might've gone. Someone knocked on the door,he got up and opened it. 5 boys stepped inside. They sat down in the coffee color couch near the window.

     "What are you guys doing here?!" L.Joe said to them.

     "Well what are YOU doing here?!" the leader said.

     "Hey I wasn't the one who dropped their to-do-list when robbing that bank." L.Joe said looking at the youngest.

     "You said you'd get rid of our tracks!" the youngest said. Everyone turned to L.Joe with a ' he's right' face.

     "I'm sorry I guess Miss Sherlock Holmes beat me to it." he said referring to you.

     "Wait,she's here?!" one of them said.

     "Well yeah." L.Joe said.

     "You need to get rid of her if this plan is gonna work." the leader said talking about you.

     "What?! You want ME to kill...... HER?!" L.Joe said out loud.

     "Yes." the leader said.

     "No,this wasn't part of our deal." L.Joe said.

     "Alright fine, we'll kill her ourselves." the one sitting next to the leader said.

     "No,you can't do that either." L.Joe said.

     "Oh I see,he likes her." one of the youngest said.

     "I wouldn't blame him. I've seen her and she is hot!" 

     "Yah,did you see those legs?!"

     "And those eyes,they're so beautiful."

     "And that long hair!"

     "What about those luscious lips?"

     "Her smooth skin."

     "And what about her-"

     "Alright that's enough!!!" L.Joe screamed in anger.They laughed, but then stopped talking about you and went silent for fear that L.Joe may beat them up.....again.

     "I'm not into her ,okay?" L.Joe said calmly.

     "Fine,we won't kill her,but we need something to keep her busy." the leader said breaking the silence.

     "What about a distraction?" one said.

     "And I know which one." the leader said. They walked out of the room.

     "Hey! Where are you going?! What are you gonna do?!" L.Joe screamed after them. They ignored him and got into the elevator at the end of the hall.

     "Ugh!" L.Joe threw his hands in frustration and closed the door. He jumped on his bed and thought about what they had said. 'I hope they don't hurt her. Wait,what did I just say? Heck I don't care about her!' L,Joe thought. Then he got a flashback on that moment before you got in the plane. When he told you to give him personal space,but you didn't. He could feel his heart beating faster. 'What? It's happening again. Why do I feel like this? What's going on with me?' L.Joe thought.

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Lesleyanne
#1
Chapter 10: Hey! Just read your update! Those visions make me kind of curious as to what L.Joe really did to her at the cinemaplace lol. If it had anything to do with that. I hope he didn't drug her or anything. xD
Thanks for the update btw! It's great seeing you update!
Lesleyanne
#2
Chapter 8: Hey! I'm glad to see an update! Haha. Truthfully, I read this earlier today while I was at the mall lol. I kinda laughed at the beginning, where Luhan was described to be 'waving the hot dogs in the air', cause I could almost picture him doing that it was hilarious! But, but he's succumbing to their plan.... :( Even though I don't know what it is, he went with them!
And I should have realized this earlier but it was a bit of a shocker for me to find out L.Joe was working with the criminals. But then I realized it kinda pieced most of what had happened in the earlier chapter, together. That makes things alot more interesting!
Btw, in this chapter, the perspective of which you're writing in gets quite confusing. Because when you say "You", it usually refers to us, readers, as the OC Kim. But when you said "Don't you think?" at the scene where L.Joe had tied them up on a tree, it made it seem you were talking to your audience rather than referring to Kim. I don't know if i'm making sense DD:

But nonetheless, I love hearing that you're enjoying while writing your story! Personally, I feel that's all that counts. Somehow I felt happy reading that bit! Thank you so much for the update! <3 I look forward to the next! <3
Lesleyanne
#3
Chapter 7: Aww! You mentioned me! <3 I feel so touched! <3 I haven't been on AFF for so long, so I wouldn't know any more means to get your story noticed. However, I do agree that it's all patience. Also, I feel if you naturally just enjoy writing your story, your readers will enjoy it as much as you do. Don't rush. Your fanfic will get the attention it deserves! :)
This chapter was rather short. However, I liked how you ended it. I kept scrolling down to see if there was a continuation lol. Looking forward to the next!
Fighting! <3
LittleStarinthesky
#4
love the concept, very refreshing! ^ ^
Lesleyanne
#5
Heeey! I like the concept of your story! Firstly, there aren't that many fanfictions revolved around secret agents and what not so it brings a different kind of twist to general fanfictions. Secondly, it also brings alot of anticipation and excitement as to what may come about next. Your story is also written well, so that's wonderful to see!
I was given this piece of advice too when I first started writing my first fanfic. Why don't you add more tags to your story to get it more noticed? I hope it helps!

P.S. I'm kind of an exo fan. So it was a plus point for me to see Luhan in the picture! Fighting author-nim! <3
aegyo-wink #6
Chapter 2: Exciting! It's really good so far!