Chapter 1: The beginning

Undefeatable Heartbreakers

You were at a meeting with your boss and other young agents from all around the world. Everyone was chatting. The boss walked in and everyone went quiet .

     "Alright agents we have had more robberies than ever coming from the same group. Mostly in places that haven't been robbed. Agent K do you have any extra information about this."the boss said to you. Everyone turned to look at you. You stood up from your seat.

    "Yes sir, it seems like as if they're playing a game with us. Whenever they rob from one place,we look there and they end up robbing another place. They recently robbed a poor place so I suggest we look both places. I found evidence when investigating their current robbery." you took an old crumbled paper from a bag and handed it to the boss.

  The boss put his glasses on and read what it had on there.

     “Millennium Broadway Hotel New York, between Times Square and Bank of America.” he read out loud, “and you’re point is?” he asked you.

     “If this is a game then I think we should attack from both sides.” you said making your conclusion.

     “Thank you Agent K, you may please sit down. Alright agents it’s time to assign you to new partners.” he said. Everyone cheered,even you. You sat down and started drinking the cup of water that was next to you while they announced the partners going to different places.

       As you quenched your thirst,you got lost in your thoughts. ‘I wonder who’d be my 100th unlucky boy to get his heart broken.’ you smirked at your thought.(you were still drinking water)

       “And last,but not least, Kim and L.Joe to the hotel in New York.” the boss said. You were so surprised you started choking and then you lost your balance and fell backwards on your chair. Girls started laughing,but the boys helped you up. You turned to see L.Joe smirking at you in a corner.

       “Alright everyone,lunch time!” the boss announced. Everyone rushed out the doors, except for you and the boss.

       “But boss why him?” you asked him.

       “Now Agent Kim, you know I don’t like whiners. And besides you two are competing for my spot, why not add some excitement and competition?” he said.

       “I know,but….he’s a player and I’m a heartbreaker” you said.

       “I said you two were competing for my position not for who would break each others heart first. You know you would think that in a job everything would be serious, but it’s just like you can never get away from all the high school drama stuff. Ugh why can’t you agents be a bit more mature and serious?” he said. You looked at him with an ‘are you serious?’ face at the last part he said.

         “Okay forget the last part,but you get what I’m saying.” he said. Your boss was like a father you never had and you were a little sad that he was gonna retire.

         “I do, whoever breaks the other’s heart first wins.” you said.

         “Not what I meant at all,but if it helps make your investigating easier. Anyways what’s up with that heartbreaking stuff,can’t you just stick with one guy?” he said.

         “But then I’d have to retire.” you said smiling.

         “I don’t know if you got that from you’re unknown mother,but I think it’s a little harsh. Oh well, lunch time’s almost over, you better go get yourself something to eat before they’re all out.” he said

         “I’m not hungry,I’ll be in my room if you need me.” you said heading toward the door.

         “Wait,before you leave,I want you to know that you are like a daughter to me,but don’t brag about it to others. Okay?” he said.

         “Okay” you said smiling, closing the door and leaving him in there. When you got out the first thing you saw was L.Joe standing there smirking at you and his fans glaring at you behind him.

         “Guess you couldn’t get rid of me.” he said crossing his arms.

         “May the best one win.” you said smirking and shoved him making your way to your room.

‘I like this girl’ L.Joe thought as he saw you walking away. Tomorrow you were going to New York,and yes,you were excited….in some way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alright so there's chapter 1. Sorry it took a while,you know how moms are with cleaning. Like seriously, a LOT of chores. Oh well,I hope you like this first chapter.  

 
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Lesleyanne
#1
Chapter 10: Hey! Just read your update! Those visions make me kind of curious as to what L.Joe really did to her at the cinemaplace lol. If it had anything to do with that. I hope he didn't drug her or anything. xD
Thanks for the update btw! It's great seeing you update!
Lesleyanne
#2
Chapter 8: Hey! I'm glad to see an update! Haha. Truthfully, I read this earlier today while I was at the mall lol. I kinda laughed at the beginning, where Luhan was described to be 'waving the hot dogs in the air', cause I could almost picture him doing that it was hilarious! But, but he's succumbing to their plan.... :( Even though I don't know what it is, he went with them!
And I should have realized this earlier but it was a bit of a shocker for me to find out L.Joe was working with the criminals. But then I realized it kinda pieced most of what had happened in the earlier chapter, together. That makes things alot more interesting!
Btw, in this chapter, the perspective of which you're writing in gets quite confusing. Because when you say "You", it usually refers to us, readers, as the OC Kim. But when you said "Don't you think?" at the scene where L.Joe had tied them up on a tree, it made it seem you were talking to your audience rather than referring to Kim. I don't know if i'm making sense DD:

But nonetheless, I love hearing that you're enjoying while writing your story! Personally, I feel that's all that counts. Somehow I felt happy reading that bit! Thank you so much for the update! <3 I look forward to the next! <3
Lesleyanne
#3
Chapter 7: Aww! You mentioned me! <3 I feel so touched! <3 I haven't been on AFF for so long, so I wouldn't know any more means to get your story noticed. However, I do agree that it's all patience. Also, I feel if you naturally just enjoy writing your story, your readers will enjoy it as much as you do. Don't rush. Your fanfic will get the attention it deserves! :)
This chapter was rather short. However, I liked how you ended it. I kept scrolling down to see if there was a continuation lol. Looking forward to the next!
Fighting! <3
LittleStarinthesky
#4
love the concept, very refreshing! ^ ^
Lesleyanne
#5
Heeey! I like the concept of your story! Firstly, there aren't that many fanfictions revolved around secret agents and what not so it brings a different kind of twist to general fanfictions. Secondly, it also brings alot of anticipation and excitement as to what may come about next. Your story is also written well, so that's wonderful to see!
I was given this piece of advice too when I first started writing my first fanfic. Why don't you add more tags to your story to get it more noticed? I hope it helps!

P.S. I'm kind of an exo fan. So it was a plus point for me to see Luhan in the picture! Fighting author-nim! <3
aegyo-wink #6
Chapter 2: Exciting! It's really good so far!