*

It was his two weeks accompanied by Luhan. His personal shack forced to accommodate two people. The peace and solitude he aimed before was failed now that he had to share it with Luhan. At a point, he felt angry. How many times the word ‘Out!’ tried to escape his lips and onto Luhan face but he didn’t dare to. Luhan was a selfish, annoying, crazy man (now he also knew they’re in the same age) who kept testing Kai’s nerves with the questions about God and faith and love.

However, the time he looked into Luhan eyes, he felt strange that as much as it annoy him to have Luhan around, it also warmed his heart to feel again another human presence so close to him. In Luhan eyes he found another definition of peace. Anger, irritation and frustration he built in his heart altered into happiness and joy. The way they shared warmth from their pressed back and the way they woke up at the morning made his heart clenched in an impossible want. He wanted Luhan to stay, said him from his wrapped arms around Luhan back as the blond snuggled into his chest, again thinking him as the part of the bed.

‘God,’ he asked when he raised both his hands after the Morning Prayer, ‘what should I do with this man?’

He didn’t want to look but there’s a pillow hit the floor next to his prayer mat and then a cocoon of pink rested on it, curled at his direction. So Kai asked for his God forgiveness all and over as he ended his prayer and took a glance at the blond just to see Luhan blinked back at him with those cute, drowsy eyes. He smiled as his heart filled again with happiness. But he said nothing because he’s still in his dzikir, the chants of prayer to keep remembering how merciful and how beautiful God’s love for him. It’s like saying ‘I love you’ and kept saying it until the last second of his life.

“Do you mind if we talk now?” after a few minutes passed in silence, Luhan said with a yawn.

“Do you?” Kai chuckled lightly at the blond’s effort to keep those sleepy eyes opened, “wash your face, Luhan. Then we talk.”

As he expected, Luhan pouted in disagreement and it only made his smile turned into playful grin as the blond whined lowly, “no thank you. it’s still dark outside what if there’s one of Indonesian ghost hanging in the corner and waited to drag me to the hell?!”

“Ah, what a cute being.” Kai shook his head while still laughing, “you didn’t believe in God yet you’re scared of ghost?”

“Don’t mock me!” Luhan hit Kai in the arm, “My brother told me, Kai, Indonesian ghost are the worst! They’re all like the combination of horrible nightmare and psychopath killer- Don’t laugh!”

“But you’re so funny.” Kai said, but the man indeed stopped laughing cause Luhan was fully awake now and who knows, if he kept teasing Luhan probably get truly angry and attacked him. He’s not weak but he wanted to avoid having quarrel as much as possible in this shack. This place suffered with both of their weight already.

So they made a deal. Luhan agreed to wash up but Kai had to stand by the back door in guard if there’s any ghost wanting Luhan’s soul. “Actually, Luhan, in my religion, ghost didn’t exist.” he said and laughed again when he heard an incoherent protest from the blond, “what people seen as ghost was the part of demon kind which loved to follow and scare human in the form they afraid the most. The dead person, the urban legend, the movie ghost… whatever you scared the most, they’d love to show you more of it.”

“Great, if they’re actually demon then it only made them the worst beyond the worst!” When Luhan was done, with face dreaded and blue, shivering lips both from cold and fear, the blond walked inside again with a groan, “seriously, how could you stay calm after knowing this?”

“I’m not scared of Demon.” Kai shrugged, “We Muslim only fear God.”

“So,” Luhan sat on the daybed and watched Kai as the man changed into daily clothes, “is that the reason why there are Muslim people who chose to be terrorist? Because they didn’t fear anything aside God?”

Kai gave Luhan a look, for a moment he needed time to think about the answer. It’s a very sensitive question for both of them. If he spoke wrongly, Luhan will think every Muslim as threat to mankind. Alas, if he said nothing, Luhan would keep bugging him to. It’s funny to hear the blond’s whine but not repeatedly. It’ll only be so annoying.

“Do you think Muslim people are terrorist?” Kai asked Luhan opinion.

“Some, probably… I don’t know. You’re a Muslim, you tell me.” Luhan said with a shrug.

 Kai smiled, “It’s true that among Mujahidin (Muslim Warrior) them who fight the enemy of God will be promised to be sent to Heaven. But, Luhan…” as he explained the man took a seat next to Luhan and pierced his gaze towards the dazed blond, making sure every words escaped his lips became as objective as he could, “Mujahidin shouldn’t fight with intention to get into Heaven, or murdering thousands innocent people just because we had different faith, or committing suicide as a bomber. They’ll be sent to the hell, instead.”

Luhan gaped and Kai had an urge to help those pink lips shut again. But he remembered who the blond was and the huge problem they’d had in between them if he decided to follow the desire in his heart. So he only smiled more and waited, while his heart calling God name in despair. Oh God, what should he do if he thought Luhan was too beautiful to be a man or too precious to be lost without faith. But then again, the devil whispered crazy thought into his mind, persuading him to imagine about Luhan, with the same whine but now lying beneath him, his name.

Kai muttered an Arabic word under his breath, a protection from the evilness inside his mind.

“So, what do you think?” Kai asked.

Luhan blinked, and let out a gasp of breath. Then the blond smiled softly which only made this heart ached in warning. God, help me. Kai mourned, when Luhan took his hand slowly, carefully, and then rested them to the blond’s chest, “It’s hard to believe God still exist,” Kai froze at hearing Luhan’s words, a bit disappointed cause his explanation got ignored. “But, if He was, I believe he’s inside you.”

“Huh?”

Luhan giggled