*

“Where’d have you been, Kai?”

Later, in the midnight, Luhan unconsciously asked when the front door of the shack opened. With swollen eyes, Luhan eyeing the silhouette of man stood by it; wasn’t sure whether it’s Kai or burglar, or demon. Whatever, he closed his eyes and curled even tighter in the middle of the rattan day bed. He’s too barren to even care.

“Hey…” the familiar hand brushed over his head, and the familiar voice calling out his name, “I’m sorry for coming home late. Have you been eaten? I’ve brought dinner.” He tensed his body, and only curled more to refuse Kai’s kindness and Kai’s warmth, because it’ll be end as nothingness. Kai couldn’t give him nothing in return of his love so there’s no need care with him. It’ll only hurt him more.

Then, if it was so hurt to stay, why he had to endure being with Kai? Why he didn’t leave?

“I don’t wanna.” Luhan said bitterly. He promised himself, tomorrow, he’ll stop being a whiner and move on. He will get up and walk for three hours to the bus stop without looking back or crying at every step parting him away from this North Village and Kai's life.

“I bought chicken for you.”

But not tonight, Luhan said mentally as he yanked the blanket away and sat up in flash, facing the smiling Kai who show him a bucket of KFC. With a grudging heart Luhan snatched it and hold it close to his chest as he opened the lid and almost salivated at the golden crispy treasure. His treasure. “How the…” he took a glance at Kai then at chicken, “this is a remote village, there’s no KFC around, where are you going?!”

“Banda Aceh.” Kai answered calmly, “There’s a situation at work and since I’m in the city, I think you’d like some chicken legs as gift.” As the man said it, Luhan already rushed to clean his hand and then digging into the chicken bucket hungrily. Kai probably think he’s cheap for easily bribed away by chicken but like he said numerous time already, he didn’t care. He loved chicken more than anything in this world he didn’t mind being fooled away as long as he could eat them.

“Eat slowly…” Kai chuckled while giving him a glass of water, “they won’t go anywhere, Luhan.”

Luhan tucked his head down, as the shame spread along his facial skin, all over again. He stared at the half eaten chicken leg in his hand, while Kai’s words kept filling his mind. Yeah, the chicken won’t go anywhere, but tomorrow, when he was ready to leave Kai, he will not be near the man anymore, possibly forever. The fear of forever made his supposedly drying tears to come out again, Kai became panicked and saved the bucket away from the flood of his emotion,

“Hey, don’t cry.” The man wiped the tears with bare hand, which only made Luhan sobbed even harder. Please, Luhan shook his head, please stop being so nice to me, I can’t stand it to be forever longing for someone I couldn’t own. Said his heart, when Kai forced him to look into each other eyes and grabbed his frail shoulder as the man said, “I don’t know you love chicken that much, I’m sorry I kept ignoring your request before. I thought only kids eating chicken. So now, eat as much as you want, ok? Just, don’t cry.” Again the hand brushed his damp cheeks, “You’re a man, Luhan. Men don’t cry over chicken.”

Luhan choked a laugh, at hearing the last sentence. He took a deep breath and nod, holding the wave of emotion from cracking him into pieces.

“Oh I love you, Kai.” He hugged Kai, even going so far by straddling the brunette and sitting on Kai’s lap, with his face buried into the bronze skinned neck, “I’m sorry for being a burden, I’m sorry for being stupid and ignorant, I’m sorry for being selfish but I really love you and I’m so thankful for this time we’ve spent together.”

Kai didn’t answer but Luhan won’t bother if he’ll get kicked out. He’ll leave anyway so he better enjoyed this last second of their closeness. Kai let him be, and he was happy for such understanding that he pushed his luck to place a kiss on Kai’s lips.

“I love you…”

He kissed Kai, with his stomach churned in fear, couldn’t even imagine the wrath followed him behind. He just kissed a man, someone with strong hold to religion and someone who blindly in love with God. Yet he couldn’t also deny the kiss giving him ecstasy, the full lips sent electricity under his skin and the rich scent of Kai suffocated him in a forbidden lust.

Strangely, Kai still let him be, until he was satisfied and opened his eyes to see the man was staring at him with hardened expression. Luhan was hesitated if he should get up and silently packing his stuff and excused himself out of this house, before the strike came from Kai. But then, Kai sighed, “so that’s what your mean?” said the man, “if you had this kind of love for me, then why bother to tell me bull about God? I had a hard time because of your craz