Seeing as I am the new lead neurosurgeon in the Presbyterian Hospital, it only seemed fair that I worked on a surgery for a severe head injury. If the skull of a patient was nearly shattered in the crown area, I would be one of the first doctors called to work, especially if there was possible trauma to the brain. But because the patient was my very own fiancé, most of the doctors refused to let me work on him. No one can refuse me from saving Sehun, no matter how hard they tried.

                Exactly three neurological surgeons were standing in front of a metal sink cleaning their hands free of any contaminants. One of the most important things for surgery is being completely sterile, and I needed to make sure that everyone was especially clean for my fiancé. After watching everyone enter the operating room one by one, I followed behind. I was the last surgeon to enter, which according to standard procedure, means that I would be the head of the surgery.

                There were several types of surgeons in the operating room itself. The other five people were nurses authorized to pass any implements we ask for. I was in charge of not only making sure everything goes smoothly, but also sealing the crack in Sehun's skull. Dr. Winston was going to take care of most of the broken bones with assistance from 3 other orthopedic surgeons.  One of the first things that needed to be done was to seal off the cracking in my finances skull. Before I sealed the bones together, I had to check for any physical brain trauma. From what I observed, the brain simply suffered from a concussion. Although we will never fully know how the brain will work until multiple scans are done, but most importantly when Sehun wakes up. I'm afraid that he may have some memory loss because the point of impact is where memory is stored in the brain.

                My hands were shaking violently as a nurse began to hold out the bowl which held the paste to seal broken bones. Never in my career have I suffered from nerves in the operating room. There were pounds of the special paste in this room because not only was the skull in need of the substance, but Sehun's leg, arm, collar bone, and ribs needed it as well. Dr. Winston spoke to me the entire time the operation was going. His words were being heard, but I was so focused on working, that I couldn’t understand him. Shaking hands is the worst thing for a neurosurgeon. One touch of the brain and Sehun could literally become a vegetable.

"Dr. Park if you need to step away for a moment you can," Dr. Winston said calmly. “There are too many nerves going on right now.

"No I have to seal his skull before he bleeds out."

"You know as well as I do that he won't bleed out that fast. Take your time. Breathe."

                As much as I wanted to argue, I knew that was the truth. I needed to be as steady and careful as I have ever been. I cannot let my shaking hands touch my fiancés’ brain. With ease I was able to close up about three quarters of the crack before a loud ringing shot out into the room. Thanks to the horrible acoustics in the room, a high pitched ring bounced loudly from wall to wall causing all of the doctors to jump. My hand pushed forward slightly, just barely coming into contact with the brain. It was the lightest touch in the world, but my operating tool brushed the brain softly. Instantly my heart fell into my stomach and I could feel my breathing stop. Dr. Winston saw the fear in my face and nearly pushed me out the room. Before I knew it, I was having my surgical mask and gloves being removed forcefully by other nurses as another neurosurgeon began to work on Sehun.

                There is a room just above the operation room that allows other doctors to come in and observe the surgery. Usually it's used as break room for those who could eat and watch surgery at the same time. That or for new doctors studying exactly what it takes to be in the operation room. Thankfully for me, I was able to be alone in the observing room. By the time I had gotten up there, Sehun was having heart failure. His heart rate monitor showed a solid green line indicating no pulse. I fell out of my chair and into my knees weeping. The idea of watching Sehun die in front of me kills me. Why couldn't I save him?

●●●●●●

                A heavy feeling all over my body suddenly started so fast that my eyes wanted to rip open. I wanted to see why I felt as if every bone I had was broken and why my head was under a thousand pounds of pressure. It took me nearly three minutes to finally open my eye lids which burned from the lights above me. This wasn’t the hospital I recalled being in before I had fallen asleep. My leg was elevated by a couple of strings attached to what looked like to be a clothes line of some sort. The arm to my right side was casted completely all the way up to my chest. Without even having to think for too long, it seemed as if one half of my body was broken.

                I turned my neck very slowly too look over at the door and window only to see English letters and doctors of all different races. This hospital wasn’t at all Seoul University. Although for some reason, I was thinking about New York, which doesn’t make much sense to me. A grunting noise began from the chair that was next to my bed, and sitting on its cushion was a doctor that I remembered. He was so handsome sitting there with short black hair, but according to the bags under his eyes, he was exhausted. The name tag he wore read “Dr. Chanyeol Park” all in English. When have I ever spoken this language, and why do I know it suddenly? Pains in my throat clearly reminded me I haven’t drank in hours, if not days, but I needed to get someone’s attention.

“C-Chanyeol,” I tried to speak with a coarse voice. “Chanyeol wake up.”

“Sehun, thank god you are awake,” he cried sitting on my bed. “How do you feel, babe?”

“Water…”

                His face looked confused at first, wondering why I didn’t answer his simple question, only to remember that my voice wouldn’t work unless water was in my system. Although he shouldn’t be confused, why was he calling me babe? Maybe that’s the name they call patients here. My mind has so many questions as to why I have these sudden injuries when I thought that only my mentality needed fixing. Yet I feel like I am far more mature and missing major pieces of my life. Chanyeol came back over to me holding a glass of room temperature water and a straw. He gently put the straw between my lips and I drank the whole glass in the matter of seconds. Once I was done Chanyeol was back to sitting on my bed and holding my left hand. It was scaring me a bit so I pulled away and hid my hand under the sheets. Chanyeol was being far more touchy than a doctor should be.

“I thought only my brain wasn’t working right. Why is my whole body broken now?”

“Well your brain did get hurt, but you landed on your right side and nearly broke all your bones.”

“But Chanyeol you said that I was asleep for fourteen years after my parents car accident. Why do I still have broken bones?”

                Chanyeol’s expression made a complete shift from one emotion to the next. At first he looked calm yet concerned for me, but now it looked as if I had broken his heart completely. His eyes filled up with tears and he got up and walked to the window. While he was looking outside letting the tears fall, I removed my hand from under the sheet to look at it. Not only was my hand larger than I can recall it being, but it had a beautiful ring sparkling bright. After a couple of minutes the doctor came back over looking a little scared.

“Do you think you’re in Seoul University?”

“Yes, well I thought so. But for some reason I want to say I’m in New York because everything is in English.”

“Do you know who I am?”

“Yes Chanyeol I know who you are. You’re my doctor silly.”

“J-just your doctor… Who am I getting married to,” Chanyeol asked holding up the ring on his left hand.

“Baekhyun?”

                My answer looked as if I had broken his heart and stepped on it until nothing was left. The longer we sat in the silence, the more I allowed my thoughts to run wild. Something wasn’t right. I can recall bits and pieces of moments that probably haven’t happened because I’m still in a hospital. There is this vision in my mind of Baekhyun screaming yelling at Chanyeol telling him to get out his apartment, but why? I can see Luhan lying in bed with another man who I remember threating to kill me. What was going on?

“Yeol,” I said feeling my head throb from the stress. “What’s wrong with me? I can see all these visions in my head but they don’t make sense. Baekhyun kicked you out of your home, and Luhan cheated on me.”

“Wait you can remember that? How do you know that, I thought your memory was gone?”

“My memory was gone? What’s going on,” I spoke with anger fueling me. “Stop confusing me and just tell me what the hell is going on!”

“You don’t remember a doctor pushing you off a building rooftop and you smashing into the ground? You don’t remember me putting the ing ring on your finger because I love you to death? Dammit I shouldn’t have done the surgery because look what I’ve done! I’ve made you forget all about us…”

                Chanyeol got up and slammed the door shut of the bathroom that was in my room. I could hear him slam his fists against the wall along with a loud sob of disappointment. This ring on my finger was given to me by Chanyeol, according to him. If my memory truly is gone, it would make some sense. I remember bits and pieces of things that have happened to me outside of the hospital. I can see my confessing to Luhan, but I can also see Luhan telling me that our relationship is over. Baekhyun was supposed to be getting married to Chanyeol, but at the same time he kicked him out of the apartment and I was there to see it. What caused all these things to happen? Why is my mind so hazy?