CHAPTER 7
♚ i like you i really really really like you ♚
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“Again.”

“I’ve beaten you in Janggi three times now-“

“One more!”

Aron conceded to my request. The guy was way too nice.

It was only two hours since the start of our second make-up class and we had already finished the morning lessons. Knowing this would happen, I brought my Korean chess set. No one had ever beaten me before... then Aron came along. What was up with people wrecking my pride these days? The only solace in this was that he wasn’t a newbie in playing the game.

He moved an elephant piece. “How’d you learn this game anyway?”

“My father and his father loved it. I learned it before I learned tic-tac-toe,” I answered, moving one of my guards. “The real surprising thing is, how do you know about this? Weren’t you in America till like… middle school?”

“A few of my friends outside of school play it…” He suddenly grinned. “You know of my history? I didn’t know you cared!”

“I don’t. Jason told me.” I looked up at him briefly, recalling how Jason talked animatedly about his classmates, in particular the guy in front of me. “I never thought you two were friends.”

“Why? We’re both handsome guys with charm. Our combined forces just make us irresistible!” he said, smirking and wiggling his eyebrows at me.

“… For a genius, you say some stupid things.”

“I’m hurt!”

“… No, you’re not!” I exclaimed, looking down at his last move – his winning move. “I’m the one suffering here!”

“That’s that. So, about that Christmas party…”

“One more!”

“We can keep doing this forever, you still know what’ll happen.”

That arrogance! Only I was supposed to be that proud!

“You’re going to the Christmas party?”

I groaned, recalling the bet I lost with Aron. “Stop reminding me.”

“Because of Aron?”

“I didn’t know he’d be so good at Janggi.”

Ren glared at me. “I’ve been asking you to go since exam week.”

“I made sure to close my eyes and cover my ears when you did,” I said, recalling that week. Ren had approached me a few times, requesting – demanding – me to attend the school’s Christmas party. I always made sure to ignore his presence. I know I couldn’t handle his aegyo, so I made sure there was no way I’d hear or see it. To be honest, it was a very difficult week, because part of me really wanted to see him acting cute.

“… You’re going because of Aron,” he repeated.

“Yes, yes! I know you’re mad! That’s why we’re here again!” I said, gesturing to L.O.V.E. café’s interior. To appease him, I agreed to head back to this cavity-inducing shop… Appease him? What was he? A little kid?

I looked back at him to see him still pouting at me.

He was definitely a little kid. I bit back a laugh.

After eating a spoonful of his Luxurious Sparkling Fountain – which was some blue crepe kind of thing – he pointed his spoon at me. “What would have happened if you had won?”

My own spoonful of mint ice cream froze a few inches in front of my mouth. I lowered it and coughed, looking anywhere but at Ren.

“Tell me~” he said childishly.

Don’t look at him. Don’t look at him. Don’t look at him-

It’s the ice cream. It made my willpower weaken.

I saw his petulant expression and caved. I clenched tightly on the handle of my spoon. “If I win, he’d ask…” I can’t say it! Why was this so embarrassing?!

“Ask what?” Ren pried.

“… something to someone and then tell me the answer,” I said, nodding at my own answer.

Ren gave me a blank look. “Jinah.”

I looked at the ribbon-laden entrance door, doing my best not to look at his face.

“He’d ask you what you want for Christmas and then tell me your answer,” I muttered.

A few seconds passed and Ren didn’t respond. After mustering up the courage to face him, I looked back front but saw no one. I suddenly froze when I felt someone sit next to me.

Ren suddenly hugged me. “You’re acting so cute today, Jinah!”

My mind went on a mantra. He was hugging me. He was hugging me. He was hugging me. He was hugging me. Oh my God.

And he even called me cute. This day was getting too overwhelming.

He let go – much too soon – and pulled his plate towards him. He was sitting right next to me… and seemed to have no plans of going back to his place. Not that I was complaining. “Jinah’s going to get me a present~!” he said in a singsong voice. I glared at him. He only smirked in response. “Why didn’t you just ask me directly what I wanted?”

“Telling you took all of my willpower, how do you expect me to actually ask?!” I asked in a strained voice. Why was he taking this conversation so easily and yet I had to think over everything?

“I never knew you were so shy.”

“Can’t I be?”

He raised an eyebrow, obviously not believing me… Heck, even I knew I wasn’t the most timid girl on the planet.

“… Ugh! I don’t know, okay?!” I leaned back on the chair and covered my face with my hands. “This is the first time I’m feeling like this, so I don’t know! Getting all embarrassed and fidgety over the stupidest things…”

“The Park Jinah admitting she doesn’t know something,” Ren mused.

I didn’t retaliate, too busy trying to store up my resolve.

“What could cause such a dramatic change?” he asked jokingly.

“… I think I like you,” I answered seriously.

He frowned at me. “If this is another act, I’m leaving you with the bill.”

I didn’t remove my hands covering my face.

“It’s not.”

There was a brief moment of silence, until I heard his spoon be placed on his plate. I lowered my hands and turned to him. He was smiling at me. “You think?”

“I’ve never liked anyone else before, so I have no idea if this is it.”

“Hmm…” he hummed in amusement.

Another pregnant silence. “Hmm? That’s all you’re going to say?” I asked. He opened his mouth to respond, but then I quickly raised my hands. “On second thought, you don’t have to reply! Just forget what I said!” I suddenly frowned when I realized my words. “... No, scratch that. It took a lot of guts to tell you, so don’t forget it and honestly tell me what you think.”

He smiled at me…

 … that picture perfect smile of his that I knew was just too perfect to be real.

No, no, no...

“… I heard your feelings. Thanks for liking me.”

I took hold of my spoon again, nodding at his answer. “You should be thankful!” I said in a joking manner.

That response of his was perfectly fine.

No, it wasn’t.

It was the response all the student council members gave to the girls that confessed to them. Words of gratitude in reply to feelings were the only way to act nice and let them down easy… which was what happened to me.

Was I expecting anything different?

… Was I?

“Last day, last day, last day~!” I said merrily, a huge grin on my face.

Aron, on the other hand, dropped his head to the table. “Ugh, now I have to go back and deal with that Christmas party thing tomorrow…” I quickly laid down my notebook. I glared at him, mentally telling him to hurry up and bring out the textbook. Aron ignored me. “Since I’m such a nice guy, I even went and asked Ren that thing you wanted to know.”

I nodded, expecting him to continue. Ren didn’t even tell me yesterday

… Did he? I don’t know. I probably forgot.

“He wants a plane ticket to America and a VIP pass for Lady Gaga’s concert, complete with a five-star hotel package.”

“Did you ask him to be a little more realistic?”

“His first answer was an elephant.”

I leaned back on my chair and sighed. “… Forget it.”

“I’m sure he’ll like anything you’ll give him! Try and make it a little romantic… you’ll be confessing to him after you give it, right?” he asked with a knowing grin.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “How did you know?”

“I’m a genius.”

“… Well, genius, I’m no longer going to do that…” I looked away from him and out the window. “I already confessed to him yesterday.”

Pure shock was written on his face. “What? Really? Why? What did he say?!” he said in a hurry. “I never knew you’d be so aggressive!” he added as an afterthought.

I hit him lightly with my notebook at his last comment. “It’s the only thing that’s been on my mind, so the sooner I said it, the better... He thanked me.”

I suddenly frowned. Why was I telling Aron this? I hadn’t even told Yooyoung or Jason yet.

Aron stared at me for a few seconds. I stared back blankly at his scrutiny.

“There’s this food stall hidden near the station. Let’s go as a celebration for you managing to attend all the lessons!” he suddenly offered with a grin.

I glared at him. “Are you pitying me?”

“My treat.”

“… Okay.”

“For a genius, why do you act like a little kid?” I asked aloud. He was running and jumping around the street, high-fiving and greeting a few people he knew that we passed by… How did he even know so many people? They were shopkeepers of various stalls in this street – they had no connection with the school whatsoever and I bet Aron didn’t even live around these parts, being a rich, American-raised guy.

“Now you’re just stereotyping! Besides, what’s wrong with having fun?” he said, laughing beside him. He winked at an old woman selling fruits. She laughed and waved at him.

“… You know a lot of people,” I commented, ignoring his question. I knew Aron was pretty immature and a funny guy – the whole school did, but I didn’t think he’d be this eccentric and - a group of old men playing Janggi waved at him - … sociable. Were they the ones that had taught him how to play?

“Life’s more fun with more people around!” he said cheerily. “I’m sure you enjoy my added company in your life.”

“… Do you really want me to answer that?”

He placed an arm over my shoulder. “No need to be so shy, Jinah!’

“I never knew you were so shy.”

I quickly tried to get rid of what Ren said yesterday from my mind, as well as shrug off Aron’s arm.

We arrived at a small shop. Upon entering, I was hit with a waft of something that smelled incredibly good, but I couldn’t pinpoint just what it was. Aron grinned at the chef, an old man with a kind face. “Two of your special bibimbap, ajussi!” He turned to me with a smile. “I don’t know what he puts in it, but it’s the best bibimbap in Korea!” he gushed.

The old man laughed loudly. “You tell her, Aron! Welcome to my humble shop, miss!” He set to work making it, but the counter was too high for me to really see what he was doing. “I’m glad to finally meet the lovely girlfriend!”

Aron laughed. “No, no! She isn’t my girlfriend…” He turned to me and winked. “… She’s my wife.”

I shoved him in the shoulder. “Shut up, you no-good husband,” I deadpanned. The chef laughed as well.

He led me to a table for two near the entrance. While waiting for the food, I took the time to look around the shop. It was incredibly small. Majority of the space was for the kitchen, surrounding it was the bar. There were only a few tables away from the center, the one we were seating at being one of them. It was only late in the afternoon, so there weren’t that many people – two others, to be exact.

“It smells like a home,” I suddenly said, finally able to describe the aroma in the shop.

“They live upstairs,” he told me. “I tutored ajussi’s son once. If you think the atmosphere here is cozy, imagine the actual home!”

After a few more minutes of conversation, Aron got the finished food at the counter and brought it to our table. I was hit with another wave of the wonderful smell. But if it smelled good, it tasted even better!

I placed a hand to my cheek, savoring the taste. “You do not exaggerate!”

“I knew you were an appreciator of good food!” he said with a smile. “Feel better?”

My smile turned into a frown. “I wasn’t feeling down.”

“Right!” he said in a heartbeat.

“… You said this was for celebrating the end of my lessons and expected passing of tomorrow’s exam.”

“You believed me?”

“Well… no,” I honestly said. “I knew this was a pity party for me. I’m not one to pass up free food, but… just to tell you, I’m not sad at what happened between Ren and me yesterday.”

Aron only hummed in reply.

“You don’t believe me.”

“You’re great at reading people, but you’re also pretty easy to read too,” he explained. He gestured his head towards the chef. “Do you think he has a daughter?”

I frowned at the sudden change in topic. “What? How should I know?”

“… Because you’re you. I could go on a long tangent on how one would know he has a daughter… but that’s your job. You haven’t gone on your usual know-it-all monologues at all today… Your mind has been on auto-pilot since your meeting with Ren.”

He didn’t even ask for clarification if he was right. He was so sure he got me spot on… maybe he did.

 “You analyze things a lot… But you haven’t even thought about what happened yesterday once. I applaud your ability to hold back what you do best… but it’s you, Jinah. You overthink everything – seeing you not doing it is just wrong.”

“We just met three days ago. Why are you talking like you know me more than me?” I said incredulously.

“Am I wrong?”

I looked down at my mixed food… I ran a hand through my hair and sighed.

“… No,” I whispered. “You’re right… again. Always. You’re too smart for your own good.”

There was a long silence, none of us making a sound. Aron finally broke it with a genuine smile. “You can tell me, if you want.”

I stiffened at his words.

He noticed. “... Or I could call Jason? … Or would you rather talk with your female friend – Yooyoung, right?”

“Are we even friends?” I asked instead.

“Of course, we are!” he said, honestly surprised. “Would you have agreed to come with me if we weren’t?”

“I suppose…” I muttered.

He laughed. “So you agree we’re friends! Feel free to tell me anything!”

I nodded slowly. “Okay…” I was trying to piece together in my mind what I’d say about yesterday…

Yesterday…

“Thanks for liking me.”

“Jinah?” Aron said, worry laden in his voice.

I took a bite of my food, frowning at the taste.

“Eh? Why is it salty all of a sudden?” I wondered aloud.

I saw a few drops of water fall down to my meal.

Where did those drops come from?

My vision suddenly blurred.

Why were my eyes watery?

I placed a hand to my mouth and hiccupped.

Why does my chest hurt all of a sudden?

“Why am I crying?” I said, letting the tears cascade down my cheeks.

Aron didn’t answer me.

“I mean, I already knew he’d reject me. I only confessed to him to get it off my chest… I knew I had no honest chance… So why do I feel so bad?” I asked, my voice cracking. “I was prepared for my feelings not to be returned… but… Damn it, stop crying!”

My tears wouldn’t stop.

“I can’t believe I’m crying over something so stupid! I should be happy he’s my friend in the first place. When did I get so greedy?” I laughed. “Oh wait, I’ve always been greedy…” My laugh quickly died down. “But this is the first time it hurt so much not getting what I want…” I tried to control my hiccups and wiped away at my tears. “He’s the first guy I’ve ever liked, so I guess I’m just depressed about being rejected...? I don’t know. I just feel bad and it really hurts… Is this normal?”

He just nodded, not saying anything.

“No, it’s not!” I answered to my own question.

I saw the slight twitch at his lips. I was not trying to be amusing!

“You’ve had countless girls confess to you, right? There are also loads that confess to Ren! But why do they always look so happy after it?” I hugged myself, clenching tightly on the fabric of my blazer. “I’ve seen it before. They look glad to have finally confessed. They look happy that you accepted their feelings, even if you couldn’t respond to it. I thought it was supposed to be like that! I was hoping to feel that wash of relief and accomplishment for getting my feelings out… so why…”

I looked back down at my food, letting a few more tears fall into it.

“… Why… when I hear the same answer they all hear, does it feel so different?” I whispered.

There was a long pause before Aron finally spoke. “It’s because your feelings are different. You became his friend first and got to know the real him. Your feelings aren’t that of admiration like our fans… they’re honest to goodness like towards Ren.”

He took hold of my bowl and pulled it towards him, away from my falling tears.

“It hurts because you wanted his answer to be different.”

I accepted the tissue he handed to me, blowing my nose into it. “I know I was in way over my head for even liking him… but to think I was actually hoping for it to be mutual?” My hiccups had ceased, but tears were still slowly streaming down my face. “How deluded have I gotten?”

“I hear all girls in love hope to have their feelings returned – that’s perfectly normal.” He pushed the tissue holder to me. “I don’t think it’s just some delusion… unless you think Ren liking you is impossible?”

“But I already know it’s impossible! His response already tells me that I’m just like regular fan girl in his eyes – no more, no less. What? You think I can just change his feelings to my liking?” I asked in exasperation, grabbing more tissues to wipe away my tears.

“Do you want his feelings to change?” he asked, beginning to smile.

I looked up at him as if he was asking the most obvious question. “What? Of course.”

“So what’s stopping you from getting what you want?”

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END CHAPTER 7
♚ so why why why don't you like me too ♚

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PREVIEW

Chapter 8

“When I told you that you liked him, I didn’t mean you should confess to him the day after.”

“You don’t look like a total geek now.”
“So I still look partly a geek?!”

“To all Pledis students, faculty and friends – welcome to our annual Christmas party!”

”You look beautiful.”

A/N:

FRIENDZOOOOONED! Hahaha~

I’m just trying to make it a little realistic. Everybody loves Ren, and Ren loves everybody – but it’s gotta take something to be separate from that ‘everybody’ group and be considered special to him, right? Jinah hasn’t gotten it just yet~