CHAPTER 12
♚ don't give up on me... ♚
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“I was looking for you.”

I looked up to see him standing in front of me.

School was over an hour ago. After my talk with Lime, my feet somehow led me to the room I had detention in – the place where I really got to know the guy in front of me.

I was seated at my usual table. Ren was standing in front of my desk, looking down at me in worry. “Jinah?” he said since I did not reply.

“… I just needed to think.”

He smiled. “Yeah, you do that a lot. Why here though?” he asked, looking around the room. “Brings back memories though!”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“… What’s wrong?”

I glanced down at my hands on the table briefly before meeting his eyes again. “Why were you given detention duty?”

Ren looked shocked at my words. “What? What are you…?” He suddenly frowned and sighed. “How much do you know?”

“… Know what?” I said.

“You know what I’m talking about,” he said. He met my eyes. “Tell me.”

So there was something to hide. There was something I didn’t know before that I knew now. You’re supposed to act confused. You’re not supposed to be saying such vague things. You should be honestly wondering what the I was talking about. So why… why does it seem like you’re preparing yourself for the worst?

“Your job was to correct me,” I merely said. “We became friends so that you could fix my ways. I was a problem student… you were the solution.”

He didn’t reply.

Why aren’t you saying anything? Why are you not reacting?

Why are you not denying it?

I let out a weak laugh and looked down at my table. “In this room, you always told me that I was wrong… why aren’t you doing that now?” I whispered.

Tell me I’m wrong. Please.

“You were always right.”

It felt like the air in me had been knocked out. I couldn’t breathe. “What?”

Ren looked away. He didn’t want to meet my eyes. “Remember your first judgment on me? When you went on a long tangent on how my day went? How I told you that you were wrong?”

“Wrong.”

“I don’t like you.”

“You just jump to conclusions too much. You hardly know me, Jinah, what makes you think you can tell how my day went in just two seconds?”

That was the reason I always approached you. You were different from everyone else. That’s the reason you became such a highlight in my life now. That was the reason we became friends.

That was…

“… I lied.”

… a lie from the start.

“You were right. You were right then…” Ren slowly shifted his gaze back to my eyes. “… and you’re right now… I am so sorry.”

He was apologizing, which meant he did something wrong. It was true, he even blatantly said it. I ran a hand through my hair and bit my lip. I didn’t know what I was feeling. Was I sad? Was I angry?  I don’t know. I just felt so completely horrible and bad and hearing him apologize just made it worse.

Sorry for lying to you?

Sorry for leading you on?

Sorry for being your friend?

What are you apologizing for?

Everything?

…Us?

Ren suddenly took hold of my hands, bending down slightly to do so. “The reason I continued to approach you even after detention was because of your class behavior… but everything after that wasn’t a mission. We’re friends, Jinah, no matter what led to it. Believe me,” he whispered.

I looked down at our conjoined hands. “Why… you?”

His eyes softened. “… What?”

“You heard me. Why you? Why, of all the members of the council, was it you?” I asked in a steady voice. There was a brief moment of silence as I waited patiently for his answer.

Ren looked down at our hands as well and muttered, “… I lost at rock-paper-scissors.”

He… lost… at rock-paper-scissors…

The reason he became my friend was because he lost at rock-paper-scissors.

The reason he always hung around me was because he lost at rock-paper scissors.

I liked him because of such a stupid reason.

He opened his mouth to speak, but I quickly removed my hands from his grasp. “Before you go on some tangent on how our friendship was genuine, on how all the times spent together weren’t a lie, and other cheesy stuff – it’s fine. I understand. You don’t really need to explain everything,” I told him.

My words were relieving, but even he could tell that I was still bothered. He knew me so well now… and yet I never knew him from the start, huh?

I smiled. “It… was a pretty good plan, to be honest. It was successful, wasn’t it? Don’t worry. I won’t go all rebellious on you now. I’ll come to class on time. I’ll control my mouth. I’ll… even keep doing my assignments,” I said with a laugh. “So… let’s go back to how we were before, okay?”

I stood up from my seat.

“To before my detention, when we didn’t even talk to each other.”

“Jinah? Jinah? Oh my… I came as soon as you called...”

“… What happened?”

Yooyoung was kneeling in front of me, Jason standing by her side. I was outside, by one of the school’s many buildings under the shade of its walls. It was considerably near the basketball court, where Yooyoung was moments ago. Jason was in the music club, which was located in the very building I was near.

I was seated on the grass, hugging my knees and looking into Yooyoung’s worried eyes. “… Hey... Why’d you become my friend?”

“Because you were interesting,” Yooyoung  said, worried at my tone of voice. I couldn’t lighten it.

Jason nodded in agreement. “Same. And when I got to know you, you were pretty fun to hang out with… Why?”

I looked down at my knees and recounted my meeting with Ren only minutes ago.

Yooyoung’s eyes flashed in fury for a moment before softening. “Sure, the reason he approached you wasn’t pure, but you’re friends now, right? Your entire relationship isn’t just a mission!”

I didn’t even look up at her. “I know... Maybe I was being too rash. Maybe what I decided on was wrong...”

“Then go back to him!” she said, grabbing hold of my shoulders.

I hugged my knees even tighter. “But... it really hurts...” She loosened her grip on me. “I feel really, really bad... Looking at his face was a lot harder than I thought... and talking to him... I just... don’t want to see him again...”

“... Jinah, you can cry, you know?” Jason said, sitting down beside me. “If it hurts, just let it out.”

I lifted my head up slightly and looked at him. “... Won’t it hurt more if I do?”

“Yooyoung looked like she was about to bite my head off,” Aron said with a laugh as he walked next to me.

I smirked. “She gets jealous easily.”

I had forced Yooyoung and Jason to continue practice and had even called Aron to convince them that I’d have company should I “break down into an emotional wreck in the middle of the street”, as Jason so eloquently said. Yooyoung was just mad through it all.

“So… what happened?” he asked. “Why were they so worried about you?”

I shrugged. “Nothing.”

“… Something to do with Ren, right?”

“Stop reading me, damn it.” He didn’t reply, waiting for me to owe up. “Ugh, fine… so… I found out about his mission… I’m guessing it was also a mission of yours?”

Aron stopped walking and turned to me with wide eyes. “You-… How… Why-?”

“Don’t ask,” I muttered. “Just know that I hate you guys.”

“But you’re fine with walking home with me…”

“Well, the main mission was given to him, right?” I said. “He was the main player… and…” I laughed. “I feel more betrayed by him than any of you. I could care less about you four…”

“So harsh! I thought at least I was above the other three!” Aron said with a laugh… which quickly died down.

He took hold of my hand and led me to a nearby bench. He patted me on the head, forcing me to look down at my lap…

… so I could see the tears now staining my skirt.

“… Eh?” I muttered. “Why am I…? Again?” I wiped at my tears and sniffed. “Ugh… I hate this… Stupid eyes, damn it!” I exclaimed.

“No one likes crying… and you got hurt. This is normal. Don’t fight it,” he told me.

“I want to fight it!” I said, glaring up at him, tears still flowing down. “I’m sick of crying over him! First he rejects me… now I find out our friendship was a lie… he’s been nothing but bad news!”

Why was I saying all of this to Aron? I hadn’t even managed to shed a tear in front of Jason and Yooyoung and yet… ugh, who cares! My chest really hurts and my head can’t seem to think straight!

“Why did I befriend him in the first place? Oh, right, because he lied!” I clenched tightly onto the strap of my bag. “I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him…”

Aron quickly took hold of my hand and tried to loosen my grip. “No, you don’t,” he told me.

I swatted his hand away. “Yes, I do! What? So you think you know my feelings more than I do? You’re just as bad as him!” I looked down at my bag… and suddenly hiccuped when I remembered. I opened it and pulled out a small box.

Aron frowned. “Is that…?”

“My Valentine’s gift for him,” I said with a strained laugh, my tears still falling down. “Can you believe it? The reason I made homemade chocolate in the first place was because of him… I planned on giving this to him… I planned on confessing again… and yet…”

I ripped open the wrapper and removed the lid, looking down at my perfectly shaped heart chocolate.

“I know you don’t want to throw them... but...” Aron trailed off, glancing at me in worry as I shoved a few pieces into my mouth.

I felt the chocolate melt in my mouth as tears continued streaming down my face.

"Those are chocolates filled with your feelings for Ren!"

So sweet. So damn sweet...

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END CHAPTER 12
♚ ... when i've finally fallen for you ♚

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PREVIEW

Chapter 13

“I get it! I know you’re sorry! You’re apologizing because you made a mistake – this entire thing is just one mistake – I know."
“Then why haven’t you forgive me?”

“There’s nothing wrong with me helping a friend out.”
“People like you don’t make friends with people like me!”

“Your name’s Park Jinah, right?”

A/N: Jason was right about her breaking down into an emotional wreck in the middle of the street, haha XD