"Junsu, go wake up Jaejoong and Yoochun," Yunho said. "They should have been awake an hour ago."

"I don't want to," Junsu said petulantly. "Who knows what kind of ersion is going on in there?"

Yunho, preoccupied by the schedule in his hand, didn't notice Junsu's words nor the derision behind them. But Changmin did. He shot a questioning look at Junsu, but Junsu was pointedly ignoring him.

"Junsu, please don't argue," Yunho said. "We have a long day ahead of us and I need everyone to stay focused."

"Fine," Junsu said and heaved himself off the couch. He shuffled down the hall toward the bedrooms, stopping in front of Jaejoong's and Yoochun's closed door. Leaning in, he pressed his ear against the frame--the room was quiet. He raised one hand and knocked, loudly, before turning the handle and opening the door.

The room was dark, the shades drawn. A discarded bowl lay on the floor and popcorn was smashed into the carpet. Bottles of soju lay on every flat surface, more than one of them tipped over and dripping.

"Figures,” Junsu said. He stepped further into the room but stopped short when he looked toward the bed. The two beds had been pushed together, and Jaejoong and Yoochun lay in the middle, wrapped up in blankets and each other. Junsu couldn't tell where one began and the other ended.

Disgusted, Junsu turned away from the sight. He slapped the light switch next to the door frame and the room flooded with yellow light. The two men on the bed groaned in their sleep and turned to look at him through bleary eyes.

"Yunho said get up," Junsu said, his voice harsh. "I hope you get in trouble for being hungover," he added before turning on his heel and leaving the room, slamming the door behind him.

"I told you he hates me," Jaejoong said once Junsu was gone.

"He'll get over it," Yoochun said. "Don't worry about it."

"Yeah, I guess," Jaejoong said, though he seemed unsure.

-----

Yunho was angry Jaejoong and Yoochun were hungover. He yelled at Yoochun, said Yoochun looked like a zombie, and told him the coordi-noonas would have one hell of a time erasing the dark circles under his eyes. He said nothing to Jaejoong, but the lead-singer could feel Yunho's eyes boring holes in the back of his head.

Jaejoong felt like . He had already had four cups of coffee and one energy drink, but instead of making him feel more awake and alert, he just felt jittery and ill. He was trying hard to keep his game face on, but he was just so exhausted and maybe a little drunk still. Whenever he stood up, he felt dizzy, and he was having a hard time walking in a straight line.

"We're so dumb," Yoochun said to Jaejoong once the coordi-noonas were finally done with them. Jaejoong could only nod in agreement. In hindsight, drinking the night before a long day of work probably wasn't the best choice they had ever made, but at the time he hadn't been thinking about the consequences. He had just been so run down, and he'd needed the brief relief alcohol afforded him.

"All we have to do is make it through this interview," Jaejoong said. "Then we can sleep."

Next to him, Yoochun snorted, and Jaejoong could almost physically feel the other man rolling his eyes. Interviews always took longer than expected, usually because their manager was never satisfied with Jaejoong's responses and always made him re-do parts until he was satisfied.

At least they let me talk now, Jaejoong thought to himself. When they first debuted, he hadn't been allowed to say anything. Their manager had said Jaejoong's brain-to-mouth filter was terrible, so he was expected to shut up and "just look pretty." It lasted for only a few months, though, before Yunho was able to convince their manager the fans would appreciate Jaejoong's candid thoughts and wit. Jaejoong had never been more thankful in his life. He had so much more to offer his fans than a pretty face. Still, though he was allowed to talk now, the manager still held his tongue in check by stopping the taping every so often to remind Jaejoong to think before he spoke.

Jaejoong let his head fall back against the chair he was resting in. There were times he regretted the life he had chosen. In his youth, all he'd wanted was to be a famous singer. He'd never once stopped to think what life would actually be like in the spotlight. He wondered if he knew then what he knows now, if he still would have auditioned.

"Jaejoong, Yoochun, let's go," Yunho's voice called out, pulling Jaejoong out of his reverie.

There was his answer. Of course Jaejoong would still go through with it. As hard as it was, it was all worth it. He adored their fans and would suffer through any hardship for them. But more than anything, Jaejoong couldn't imagine a life without the men who had quickly become his family. He couldn't imagine a life without them by his side.

And if standing on stage with Yunho was the only way Jaejoong could be close to him, well, there were worse things in life.

-----

“Annyeonghaseyo; Dong Bang Shin Gi-imnida!” They chorused as they bowed and flashed peace signs at the camera. Once introductions were made and their accolades praised, they sat in their usual places: Yoochun and Changmin behind the couch on high stools, and Jaejoong between Yunho and Junsu. To the crew and their managers, it seemed like nothing was wrong. The five of them, however, were having trouble keeping the smiles on their faces.

The woman conducting the interview--she called herself Wanda--turned toward the camera and said excitedly, “Here we are with Asia’s most popular group: Dong Bang Shin Gi!” The boys tried not to wince as her high-pitched voice grated on their nerves.

“So,” the woman said, her voice filled with fake mystery as she leaned in closer to them. “A lot of us women have been wondering what traits you find desirable. Would you care to tell us?”

Junsu laughed, “We are rarely asked this question,” he said. Jaejoong resisted the urge to roll his eyes. They were asked this question almost every time they sat down to do an interview with a female. The answers never changed, yet for some reason the curiosity never abated.

“I think, for me,” Junsu continued, “I would want to be with a woman who is able to share in my laughter. I don’t want somebody too serious; a relationship should be fun.”

Wanda smiled and laughed and leaned in closer yet. Jaejoong resisted the urge to tell her he could see down her blouse. “You’re a very funny person, Junsu,” she said with a simper. “Your jokes always make me laugh.”

“Junsu’s favorite thing to do lately is tell tongue twisters,” Jaejoong said, ignoring the way Junsu tensed up next to him. “He uses them to practice his Japanese.”

“Oh really?” Wanda said with fake interest. “I love tongue twisters. Please, share one with us?”

“Of course; I would love to,” Junsu said, trying to keep the anger out of his voice. Jaejoong knew how much he hated oyaji gags. Jaejoong was just being a prick. “I’ll share my favorite one: Boku wa tamago mono kimi mo suki desu kedo kimi mo suki!” Junsu finished quickly, knowing it wasn’t his best and the manager would probably be on his case later about his pronunciation. At that moment though, he simply didn't care.

Wanda laughed. It was a high, shrill sound, and it set Jaejoong's teeth on edge.

“That was very good!” she said. “Japanese is a funny language, isn’t it?”

That they could all agree on.

“Let’s continue, yeah? Yoochun-sshi, what do you look for in a woman?”

Yoochun pretended to think long and hard about the question. “I don’t want to be with anybody who is too fussy. Simple and elegant is more my style.”

“Yoochun-hyung is very romantic,” Junsu said idly. “I think he just wants somebody he can stay up late and have deep, serious conversations with. Somebody he can hold onto at night as he sleeps. Yoochun-hyung is very emotional.”

The words were light and there was a smile on Junsu’s face. But to Jaejoong and Yoochun, Junsu sounded bitter and spiteful. Next to Junsu, Jaejoong shifted in his seat, suddenly feeling warm under the lights and Junsu’s gaze that bore holes into his skull. On his other side, he could sense Yunho giving them both searching gazes. Jaejoong hoped Yunho wouldn't ask him about it later. Though perhaps in that he was safe, since Yunho hadn't been speaking to him lately, anyway.

Wanda, oblivious to the undercurrents of emotion, bulled on. “We have all seen many instances where Yoochun-sshi wore his heart on his sleeve. I think it’s so sweet how unafraid he is to show his true emotions.” She turned to Changmin. “What about you, Changmin-sshi?”

“I want a woman I can talk to about literature and history,” Changmin said.

“Our Changmin is such a geek,” Jaejoong said and dodged Changmin’s fists.

“Jaejoong-hyung is a klutz,” Changmin countered. “I think his ideal girlfriend is someone who can make sure he doesn’t hurt himself.”

Jaejoong pouted. “No, my ideal partner is someone who is caring, kind, and honest. Someone like Yunho-ah,” he said and patted Yunho’s knee, like he had done a thousand times before. It was only after he was finished speaking that he realized what he had said. He shot a quick look at Yunho’s face to see what the other man was thinking. Yunho’s jaw was set firm and his eyes were shuttered. Discretely, Yunho moved his knee away from Jaejoong’s touch.

Wanda's annoying laugh washed over them again, and Jaejoong wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole. He wanted to be anywhere but there. He was getting a headache, and the tension between his bandmates was ramping up more and more. Junsu was practically seething beside him, and he didn’t have to look behind him to know that Yoochun was giving him a pitying gaze. God only knew what Yunho was feeling at the moment.

“Yunho is very honest, isn’t he? And such a hard worker! No wonder he was appointed the leader of Dong Bang Shin Ki. Tell me, Yunho-sshi, what is your ideal type?”

“I like women who pay attention to the little things,” he said.

“He likes to be spoiled,” Changmin said. “And he loves it when people cook for him. Jaejoong makes food for us sometimes, and Yunho is always complimenting him on his culinary skills.”

Yunho turned to glare at Changmin. Changmin stared back, challenging Yunho to say something. Yunho thought against it and turned back to face the interviewer, brushing off what had happened as a moment of playfulness. But Jaejoong wasn’t fooled. He could tell by the way Yunho’s fists were clenched in his lap that he was very angry.

Their manager, more astute than the boys gave him credit for, decided to end the taping there for some rest and food. The boys, relieved, immediately jumped from their seats and wandered off to various corners of the studio.

Jaejoong and Yoochun went to the buffet table to grab a bite to eat and some water. They carried their plates over to a set of chairs pushed against the wall and gratefully sank into the cushions.

"This ," Yoochun said.

"Yeah," Jaejoong agreed. "I just hope it's over soon."

"I hope we get off the subject of love. It doesn't seem right to be talking about it when the majority of us are angry at one another."

"I'll get over it as long as they don't--"

Jaejoong was unable to finish his sentence because their manager was waving them over. Jaejoong and Yoochun stood up and went to throw their plates away before rejoining the group.

"I got a look at what Wanda has planned for the rest of the interview," their manager was saying as Jaejoong and Yoochun approached. "She wants to ask you what members you would date if you were all women."

The boys groaned. They all hated that question, more than they hated to be asked what their ideal woman is. It was an akward question, and whenever they were asked it, they usuallly spent the entire night afterward avoiding each other.

"I know you all hate it," their manager said with a small smile, "but the fans love it. Just stick to the typical fandom responses and you'll be through it in no time."

Their manager ushered them back toward the stage. Jaejoong didn't want to go. He imagined digging his heels into the floor to stop his forward movement. Better yet, if he just shrugged off the manager's arm wrapped around his shoulders, he could quickly run away and lock himself into the bathroom or something.

But he was being ridiculous and selfish. If he left, their manager would just make them stay all night until it was finished. He couldn't do that to the others.
Jaejoong sat as far away from both Junsu and Yunho as he physically could. Things were about to get incredibly awkward, even more so than they already were, and he really didn't want to be around either of them. He could feel the resentment and bitterment coming off of them in waves.

He forced himself to focus on whatever Wanda was saying.

"Hopefully there is someone out there for you all," Wanda said, picking up where they left off. Then her expression turned wry. "But now, I want to ask you something else. If you were a female, which of the five members would you want to date?"

Though they knew the question was coming, they couldn't keep themselves from reacting adversely. Yunho turned bright red and took great care not to look at Jaejoong; Jaejoong choked on his tongue; Junsu's expression turned dark; Yoochun laughed nervously; and Changmin had the gall to look amused.

"How about we start with you, Junsu-sshi?" Wanda's eyes were shining. She was enjoying this.

Junsu closed his eyes briefly, like he was in pain. His voice was carefully measured as he began to speak, "Yoochun and I are good friends." To sell it, he turned to give Yoochun a sweet smile. "For me, he would be the best candidate. Some people like to be serious in their relationships, but Yoochun and I both value laughter. We never have a dull moment together."

Wanda giggled, losing her professional image for a second, before she pulled herself together. "What about our leader?" She asked, turning to look at Yunho.

Yunho really did not want to do this. But he knew what they, their manager and Wanda, were expecting of him. He refused to lose this game. Slowly, he lifted his hand and let it fall on Jaejoong's knee. He turned to look Jaejoong in the eyes and said, "If I were a female, I would want to date Jaejoong-hyung. He's such a great person. He can be a bit scatter-brained, but that's all part of his charm. Also, Changmin was right before: Jaejoong is a very good cook. His cooking makes me think of home."

Jaejoong fought down a blush. If he hadn't known it was all a ruse, Jaejoong might have believed Yunho was being serious. He looked so earnest, so honest. None of this was fair. He was tired of sitting there and acting like everything was okay. Nothing was okay, and pretending things were was painful and exhausting.

But Jaejoong also knew what was expected of him, so he steeled his courage and let his hand drop to rest on top of Yunho's. Their fingers curled together and Jaejoong's heart stopped short. It was the most contact he had had with the other man since that disastrous kiss over a week ago.

"Yunho is kind," Jaejoong said quietly. He let his fingers brush against Yunho's one last time before withdrawing his hand. To his surprise, Yunho kept his hand on his knee.

"Who would you choose, Jaejoong-sshi?"

"I think it's obvious who he would choose," Yoochun said with a laugh. "We all know who his favorite is."

"Yunho is my friend," Jaejoong said a little defensively. "Out of all the other members, he is the one I've known the longest, and I feel close to him. Yoochun is right, I would date Yunho. He is everything I look for in a partner."

The two eldest locked eyes for a moment then they looked away from each other, both looking uncomfortable.

"Well, what about you, Yoochun-sshi? Do you think you and Junsu would make a good couple?"

Yoochun shook his head slowly. "No. I think if I was a woman, I would want to date Jaejoong-hyung."

Next to Jaejoong, Junsu tensed and whipped around to stare at Yoochun incredulously. Yunho had a less dramatic reaction, but Jaejoong could feel his hand clenching tighter and tighter.

"Jaejoong-hyung and I are best friends," Yoochun continued. "We share everything together. I feel the most comfortable with him."

Jaejoong sent a telepathic message to Yoochun to shut up. Junsu looked like he was about to vibrate out of his seat; and Yunho's grip had grown so tight, he was afraid Yunho would break bone. Another extensive knee surgery was the last thing he needed.

Wanda smiled. "It's always nice to have people in your life you trust implicitly." She turned to Changmin. "And you, Changmin-sshi?"

Changmin smiled sardonically. "No dating for me, thanks. Love is too complicated."

-----

"What the was that?" Yunho said, crowding into Yoochun's space.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Yoochun said idly.

Jaejoong stood between them, one hand on Yoochun's chest and the other grasping Yunho's arm tight. "Come on, guys. Quit it," he said, but they both ignored him.

"The manager told you to stick to the script," Yunho said, his voice an octave higher than normal.

"What the are you so pissed about?" Yoochun said, scowling. "Obviously the manager didn't give a , otherwise he would have stopped the taping."

Yunho opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it at the last second. Yoochun had him cornered, because he was right: their manager hadn’t cared at all.

Yunho was about to walk away, to save face, but Yoochun's next words stopped him in his tracks.

"Oh wait, I know why you're pissed," Yoochun said. "You don’t like the thought of somebody else with Jaejoong.”

"What are you doing?" Jaejoong seethed. But again, he was ignored.

"You’re jealous, aren’t you?” Yoochun asked quietly as he walked closer to Yunho. "And you’re afraid somebody is going to come along and sweep him away. And somebody could, couldn’t they? Because you’ve given Jaejoong no reason to cling to you. You know you don’t deserve him.”

Yunho slowly his heel to face Yoochun and looked him in the eyes, his expression dark and dangerous. Jaejoong could see Yunho's hands trembling at his sides and he was afraid Yunho would hit Yoochun. Jaejoong pushed himself between them, his back toward Yoochun. He braced his hands against Yunho's chest, shoving him backward.

"Don't, Yunho, please," Jaejoong begged.

Yunho's eyes flicked down to look at him. He stared at Jaejoong for a second then scoffed and turned to walk away. Over his shoulder he shot a quick, "Don't touch me again," before disappearing into a bathroom off the main hallway.

When he was gone, Jaejoong rounded on Yoochun. "Why did you say that stuff?" he asked, almost shouting.

"Because, Jaejoong, I'm tired of seeing you get hurt," Yoochun said.

"But I thought you said--"

"I know what I said, Jaejoong. And I still believe it. But, Jae, listen: I don't think Yunho's ready. I doubt he's ever going to be ready. That he could just go along with this ruse, knowing how you feel about him? That he could willingly hurt your feelings like that? You don't deserve that."

Jaejoong sighed. "Thank you for standing up for me,” he said. “But I don’t need you to protect me all the time.”

“But Jaejoong, you don’t protect yourself,” Yoochun said quietly, gently. “You let him walk all over you.”