“Something smells delicious,” Changmin said and his stomach grumbled in anticipation. The pleasant smells wafting through the apartment were making him hungry.

“It smells like tomato sauce and hamburger,” Yoochun commented.

Junsu laughed. “Of course you would be the one to recognize those scents, Mr. America.” He laughed again and poked Yoochun in the ribs. Yoochun glared at him and swatted his hands away.

In the kitchen, Jaejoong stood near the stove, silhouetted by a cloud of steam. As he cooked, he hummed a quiet tune under his breath, keeping time with the rhythm of his knife as he chopped up red bell peppers and onions. When he had finished, he set the knife to the side and scooped up the cut vegetables, tossing them into the pan with the sauce and hamburger. As the sauce continued to bubble, he lifted the lid on the pot of noodles to make sure they were cooked to just the right softness.

Jaejoong rarely made Western dishes but Yoochun had asked for this dish specifically, said he’d been craving it for a while. Jaejoong knew his mother had made it for him often when Yoochun still lived in the United States. He understood Yoochun’s feelings of homesickness. Jaejoong was often up late, unable to sleep because he missed the sounds of his parents’ breathing and the way his sisters tried to stifle their giggles so as not to wake anybody up. But Jaejoong got to see his family every so often, whenever there was a rare break in their schedule. Yoochun hadn’t seen his since he had moved back to South Korea. If it helped Yoochun feel better about the distance between him and his family, Jaejoong was glad to cook a special dinner for him, even if it was a little late to be cooking. They all should have been in bed a long time ago but Jaejoong didn’t care. It had been too long since he’d been able to cook a decent meal. He was tired of living off of take-out and he knew the others were too. Besides, all of those excuses aside, he really needed this time to himself. Things had been pretty hectic lately.

Turning from the stove to the cupboards above the sink, Jaejoong pulled down five plates and five cups. Wiping them clean of the dust that had accumulated from lack of use, he then carefully carried everything over to the table. Once it was set, he stepped back to survey his work.

“Perfect,” he muttered under his breath. He then called everyone into the kitchen.

The first to rush in was Changmin. As soon as he had plopped onto his seat and spooned a hefty portion of the spaghetti onto his plate, he immediately began to wolf down his dinner, pausing only long enough to shoot Jaejoong a questioning look. Jaejoong ignored him. He knew Changmin would only tease Yoochun about his soft spot for Western dishes. Instead, Jaejoong rapped Changmin lightly on the head with a wooden spoon to warn Changmin to slow down before he choked on the noodles. Soon afterwards, Yunho, Yoochun, and Junsu filed in and took their seats at the table.

“This tastes wonderful,” Yunho said with relish after his first couple of bites. “You should make this more often.”

“I don’t care what he makes as long as it’s food,” Changmin said in between bites. “It’s been too long since we’ve had a home-cooked meal.”

Jaejoong ate his own meal slowly, taking small bites in between serving the others second helpings and cleaning up the kitchen. As he worked, he kept a close eye on the others. Changmin had slowly pulled Junsu’s plate towards him while Junsu was distracted by something Yoochun was saying. Junsu, fork in hand, fished around for a piece of hamburger but hit the table instead of his plate. He looked down in surprise then shot a suspicious glare at Changmin, who smiled innocently and tried to push Junsu’s empty plate away from him. Before Junsu could complain, Jaejoong set another plate in front of him. Junsu thanked him with a large, goofy smile. Jaejoong smiled back then turned around to head back to the sink where he had been scrubbing the pots and pans. As he passed by, Yunho caught Jaejoong by the wrist. Jaejoong paused and looked down at him questioningly.

“Sit down, hyung,” Yunho said. “You don’t need to clean up now. Just relax with us for a little bit. It’s been a while since we’ve had any time to ourselves.”

Jaejoong hesitated then nodded and sat down. Still, he was quiet and didn’t eat much. Yunho’s brow furrowed. He was beginning to feel annoyed with Jaejoong’s reserved attitude.

Once everybody had finished, Jaejoong whisked away their dishes and stacked them in the sink. He the taps and began to wash them, placing the clean dishes in the rack next to the sink for drying. The others had already gone back to the living room, diving for the Xbox 360 controllers and fighting over who got to be first player. Yunho stayed behind. He grabbed a hand towel from the linen closet and moved over towards Jaejoong. He took one of the soppy plates and began to towel-dry it briskly, all the while watching Jaejoong carefully. It was obvious that something was bothering the older man.

“Jaejoong, is something wrong?”

Jaejoong just shrugged his shoulders and continued to scrub the dishes. He didn’t even bother to look at Yunho. The annoyance Yunho had felt earlier blazed into anger. He placed the towel and plate on the counter and grabbed the elder by the shoulder, turning him around roughly to face him.

“Jaejoong, this is ridiculous. You’ve been moody for days now. If you continue to act this way, it’ll start to affect the rest of us.”

Jaejoong glared at Yunho. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll put my pretty mask back on and be your perfect Jaejoong again.”

Yunho felt his face growing hotter. He pushed Jaejoong hard and Jaejoong shuddered as his back hit the counter behind him. The plate he’d been holding slipped from his grasp and fell to the floor, shattering on impact into a million shards. Neither of them noticed.

“What the , Yunho?!” Jaejoong seethed. He tried to shove Yunho away from him but the other man was immovable.

“No, you stay there,” Yunho said. He dug his fingers into Jaejoong’s shoulders as the lead-singer continued to struggle.

“Let me go!” Jaejoong hissed.

Yunho ignored him. “I don’t appreciate all of the insinuations you’ve been making lately, Jaejoong.”

“Why, because you can’t handle the truth?” Jaejoong spat. He struggled harder to get out of Yunho’s hold, ignoring the burning pain in his shoulders. He would definitely have bruises there in the morning.

“How dare you? I care about you and the others--”

“Guys, is everything alright? I heard something fall.” Junsu walked around the corner and was shocked by what he saw. Yunho had Jaejoong pinned against the counter. Their eyes were locked in a fiery gaze and both were panting heavily. Something glittered on the floor at their feet. Junsu looked down and gasped, “Jaejoong, your foot!”

Yunho looked down at the floor and frowned in concern. Jaejoong’s left foot had a large gash on it and he was bleeding. A shard of glass must have caught him when the plate fell. Yunho kneeled down to look at the wound but Jaejoong stepped away from him.

“I’m fine,” he said through clenched teeth. Yunho ignored him. He took one of Jaejoong’s arms and wrapped it around his neck, then wrapped his other arm around Jaejoong’s waist. Junsu got on Jaejoong’s other side. Together they helped him hobble to the living room and sat him down on the couch. Once Jaejoong was comfortable, Junsu ran to the bathroom and grabbed the first-aid kit. Yunho took it from him gratefully and began to doctor Jaejoong’s foot. With a pair of tweezers he took out the glass shard that had embedded itself in Jaejoong’s foot then he carefully washed the wound with a damp rag Yoochun had brought. Once it was clean and had stopped bleeding, he slathered the wound in an anti-bacterial gel. Finally, he wrapped a thin piece of gauze around Jaejoong’s foot to protect the open wound from infection.

While he ran his hands over Jaejoong’s arch and heel to make sure there were no more glass shards in his skin, Yunho began to feel guilty. He shouldn’t have pushed Jaejoong like that. He looked up at Jaejoong’s face to see what the older man was thinking, but Jaejoong wasn’t looking at him. He pushed two fingers under Jaejoong’s chin to tilt his face towards him. When Jaejoong finally looked at him, Yunho held his gaze for a few seconds then whispered, “I’m sorry.”

Jaejoong smiled at him but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He pushed Yunho’s hand away from him then put his foot on the floor and tested it out. Once he was sure it would bear his weight, he stood up and walked away, towards the balcony, leaving everybody behind.

-----

Jaejoong stood alone, staring out at nothing. The chilly April air washed over him, ruffling his hair, and he burrowed down further into the hoodie he was wearing. One hand clasped the cold railing in front of him, fingers curled and wrapped in the sleeve that was too long for him. His other hand cradled his face and he absently on the ribbed edge of the sleeve. The sound of footsteps behind him broke him from his reverie. Jaejoong didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. He would have been able to recognize those footsteps from a mile away.

He sensed the heat at his back before strong, toned arms wrapped tightly around him. Jaejoong tensed and tried to wriggle out of the hold, but Yunho was too strong and determined. Giving up the fight, he sighed softly and relaxed a bit, leaning back into the warm embrace. Hesitantly, he placed his hands on Yunho’s arms.

Yunho smiled as he felt the tension leave Jaejoong’s body. He was glad the elder could trust himself enough to find comfort in his embrace. He had missed this side of Jaejoong.

“Why are you out here, Joongie-ah?” Yunho asked. He rested his chin on the shorter man’s shoulder. Jaejoong’s hair tickled the side of his cheek and surrounded him with a warm, spicy scent.

“Just thinking,” Jaejoong said.

“You will catch a cold.”

“I’m plenty warm,” Jaejoong said but his body belied him when a shiver passed through his shoulders.

Yunho sighed in agitation. It was obvious something was bothering Jaejoong and had been for a long time. He had been so cold, so aloof lately, and not only towards him. Everybody had found it difficult to get close to Jaejoong lately. Yunho had hoped that Jaejoong would open up to him but it was apparent the elder would remain stubborn.

He tightened his hold on Jaejoong’s waist, trying to share his warmth. But Jaejoong had had enough and he tensed up again, letting his hands fall back to his sides. Yunho slowly let his arms unwind from around Jaejoong’s waist. Obviously he was no longer in the mood for company. As desperate as Yunho was to find out what was causing Jaejoong so much pain, he knew he couldn’t push the issue. Jaejoong was quick to lash out if he felt he was being cornered.

Yunho moved back into the balcony doorway. He hesitated before going inside and turned around to look at Jaejoong’s prone form. He stood exactly as Yunho had found him, staring up into the sky as if trying to read the answers to his problems in the distant, invisible stars. He went back inside and closed the door tightly behind him, leaving Jaejoong to his own thoughts.

Jaejoong stayed out on the balcony a while longer, replaying the last month or so in his mind, trying to pinpoint exactly when this all began. They had just finished filming Dangerous Love, a silly banjun drama everybody had thought would be a lot of fun but had actually ended up in disaster, at least for Jaejoong. Everything had changed. Since then, he had become a lot more aware of Yunho. He was consciously aware of Yunho’s body, how his muscles rippled whenever he moved, how the skin on the back of his hands was as smooth as silk. He had memorized the way Yunho walked, how his arms swung at his sides, and how when, in agitation, he would curl his fingers into a fist. Whenever Yunho touched him, Jaejoong’s skin would burn, like there was a fire in his blood warming him from the inside out. Every time Jaejoong looked at Yunho, he wanted to kiss him and touch him, and be kissed and touched in return. He was especially bothered by this last bit.

The emotions were so unfamiliar and they felt so wrong. He didn’t feel like himself.

Jaejoong groaned and folded his arms on the railing in front of him, letting his head fall to rest on his forearms. Why had they ever agreed to film that stupid drama? How could he be developing feelings for Yunho? And more importantly, how could he ever get out of this mess?

Jaejoong looked back up at the stars, hoping to find the answers to his questions hidden there but if they were, they stayed invisible to him.