torpedo: choices
yunho/jaejoong
fluff, drama / pg13 / oneshot
I remembered when Yunho handed me a piece of paper, his enlistment notice. I froze on my spot and blinked at him, thinking that if I blinked unbelievably enough, it would disappear into thin air. It didn’t.


loosely based from a short gay korean film. written in jj’s pov







I remembered when Yunho handed me a piece of paper, his enlistment notice. I froze on my spot and blinked at him, thinking that if I blinked unbelievably enough, it would disappear into thin air. It didn’t. But I was enveloped in a warm hug. I did not cry for I knew he’d be back. I was just sad. Three years in our relationship and I have already become too attached to him. I did not want to be without him and he didn’t either. We clung on to each other that night, our steady breathing lulling each other to sleep.

That was seven months ago.

Right now, I’m on a bus heading to Cheolwon where my beloved was stationed. He was given a two-day off and I was to spend today with him while tomorrow’s for his family. He missed them as much as they probably did and I wasn’t selfish enough to hog all his free time. A day should be enough. It had to be.

But then again, who was I kidding?

“Excuse me,” Turning a little to my right, a lady was looking at me with a smile – I hadn’t noticed her taking a seat beside me – and I returned her smile with my own. “Are you on your way to Cheolwon too?” I hummed in response. “Do you live there?”

“No,” I said. “I live in Seoul. I’m meeting someone.”

“You must be meeting someone special.”

She pointed at the box in my hand and I smiled. “Yes, my friend.”

The truth was at the tip of my tongue but the lie escaped more easily. I couldn’t risk damaging Yunho’s career for the sake of momentary pleasure from having to tell the reality of my relationship with him.

“I’m visiting my boyfriend.” She told me, and she looked really excited about it which made me wonder how long he had been in service, but I wasn’t going to ask. “My name is Yeseul, by the way. Han Yeseul.”

“Kim Jaejoong.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Jaejoong.”

“Likewise.” I replied and took her hand for a shake.

“Ah!” I wasn’t able to refrain from chuckling at her enthusiasm. She showed me a prettily decorated box and opened it, revealing some kind of a pastry I didn’t really know the name of. “I bought this at his favourite bakeshop. You think he’d like it?”

Okay, so, I wasn’t so sure how to answer that considering that I don’t even know who her boyfriend was. But then, I didn’t want to disappoint her by saying I have no idea, which I really don’t, seriously. “I’m sure he will. It looks good, too.” And I’m sure I just told her a white lie.

Yeseul muttered a soft thanks and then there was silence that followed which lingered throughout the rest of the ride. Silence that I was thankful for because I didn’t know if I have answers for any more of her questions.





The receiving area was a small room with a classroom setting wherein there were five tables arranged properly and another table was placed in front where the soldier in charge of the visits – who looked like he didn’t want to be there – was seated.

I shifted on my seat a little uncomfortably, the crumpled paper in my hand felt like fire that was slowly burning me alive. I had to get rid of it. “Uhm,” I said, putting on a stiff smile as the soldier looked up at me and smiled back. “Can I get another visitation form?”

“What’s wrong with the one I gave you?”

“No, I just – I wrote something wrong.”

“Feel free to cross it out. It doesn’t matter.”

It does, I wanted to tell him but I know he wouldn’t understand and I had no plan of making him understand. “Just one more, please?” I tried again.

“I’m sorry.” he said. “We’re low on forms and they’re to be used until the next visit.”

“I understand.” I told him even if I didn’t. I don’t think I would ever understand how he couldn’t have just given me a piece of paper. It wasn’t as if they couldn’t get another one printed out. What was so hard about that?

Going back to my seat, I unfolded the form I crumpled earlier and sighed. On the top right corner was a blank space wherein you would state your relationship with whoever it was you’re visiting. I wrote lover instead of friend and now I had to cross it out as much as I wanted to leave it be. It was a very honest mistake. I was too thrilled to see my other half that I wasn’t paying much attention to anything. Usually, I’m the one keen on keeping our relationship a secret but realizing how much I missed having Yunho with me, frustration gets the best of me.

Like I was told, I crossed out my mistake rather furiously and was surprised to see that I actually put a hole on the paper. Ignoring the heavy feeling in my chest, I wrote what I should have written – friend.

I may be the person Yunho loved the most, but to everyone outside our circle, I am just Yunho’s friend. Nothing more.





Waiting for Yunho seemed like an eternity but that was just me being impatient. Sighing, I looked around the room and happened to see Yeseul a table away from me with her lover sitting across her. A soft smile spread across my face as I watched her trying to feed him. Her boyfriend, though, rejected the gesture and ate on his own. Oh, well, he was probably shy when it came to public display of affection.

He wasn’t the only one. Even until now, Yoochun would get a little awkward when Junsu’s too mushy and touchy in public. Don’t get him wrong, he adored Junsu but being relatively new in the dating field, he still hadn’t gotten the hang of it. Really though, it was amusing how it had been more than two years for them and he still considered himself a newbie.

I might have been staring at the couple for too long because Yeseul’s boyfriend was looking right into my eyes. Realizing what was happening, I quickly looked away and tried to focus on the view outside the window instead. I felt his gaze still on me and I could only look down at my fingers, silently hoping that Yunho would arrive soon.

I did not have to wait for long though because just as I rested my chin on my palm, I heard the familiar voice I missed so much. “Jaejoongie,”

“Yunhoyah,” I wore a grin that matched his and I wasn’t able to stop myself from holding his hand for a second, squeezing it before letting go so he could take the seat across me. It kind of awed me how no one gasped or was surprised at his presence, and it felt nice that for once, he was treated as the normal Yunho. We could converse without any paparazzi around or people approaching him every minute or so for an autograph or a picture. “I missed you so much.” I told him in the softest voice I could muster.

“I did too, sunshine.”

The nickname was corny, I must admit, but it did make me feel fuzzy and warm inside. I was unable to hold my giggle as we played footsies under the table. At that moment, I did not care who would see us. It turned out I was too happy to be with Yunho again after half a year to care.

“How have you been? Are they treating you well?”

“Yes baby, no need to worry. How are you? I missed you so, so much, my love. How’s Changmin doing? And Yoochun? How’s he and Junsu?”

Well, someone was very eager. “Slow down.” I told him with a chuckle. “Changmin’s busy with variety shows and his boyfriend. Yoochun’s still shy and Junsu’s still as clingy and needy as ever. It’s funny how even after two years he still isn’t used to getting showered with so much affection.”

“Ah, I’m glad everything’s fine and everyone’s still normal. Except for Changmin because he’s never normal.” I grinned. “Speaking of affection, let me show my extreme affection for you.”

Before I could ask him what he meant, he hauled me up and dragged me away.





Yunho took me to the apartment the size of a room he was currently living in. It looked empty – a spare uniform hung behind the door, a folded mattress was placed on the side and two duffel bags were sitting on the floor. He didn’t really bring much.

Seven months ago, I did not want to send him off but I had to, to take pictures of him that took me three days to post on my website without having to break down in the midst of uploading. I was with him when we went to the barber shop to get his hair shaved off, I was with him the night before his enlistment and we made sweet, sweet love to each other over and over again until we were both exhausted to cry our hearts out. Those were memories I cherished albeit painful.

I took off my jacket, putting it aside as I watched him change from his uniform into sweatpants and a shirt. “I brought you something.” I told him, squeaking when he pulled me into his arms after unfolding the mattress. I sat in between his legs, back against his broad chest as his arms were wrapped around my middle. “I baked you cookies.”

This was the second time I made him something. The first one was when we had our first date although admittedly, I wouldn’t have if Junsu did not bug me for his weekly dose of my baked goods.

Yunho got a piece and took a bite. “Jaejae, this is so good.” he said, pressing a kiss on my neck. It tickled. “You really could be a chef.”

“I like what I am now, though.”

“My future husband?”

I let out a loud laugh. “A fansite master. But maybe I could be that, too. By the way, Yoochun and Junsu have a daughter now.”

Yunho blinked. “What? Since when?”

“Since a month ago. Actually, it’s Yoochun’s brother’s kid with his girlfriend but they weren’t ready to have a child yet so with Junsu’s approval, they both adopted the little angel.” I told him with a smile, almost too sure he would love to meet her. “Her name’s Taeyang and she kinda resembles Yoochun. It’s suppose it’s because she has the Park’s genes.”

He tightened his hold around my waist. “Ah, I’m happy for them.” he said. “I may be a little jealous too, but yes, I understand that now is not the right time for us to have a child.”

I smiled and closed my eyes, enjoying being held by the love of my life. “I’m glad you understand.”

As much as we loved children, we were both not ready to be parents. Probably in the distant future, but definitely not now.

Being the chatterbox that he usually was, I wondered why he was being unusually quiet. I cracked an eye open and found my answer. In his hand was the paper I slipped inside the box of cookies. It was a last minute decision and it was something I had to do, and of course, I had to tell him.

“Jaejoongie?”


I sighed. “I’m enlisting in a month. To get it over with.” I confessed. “I figured that if I go now, I wouldn’t have to be away from you longer and we won’t lose more time together. I chose well, right?” Twisting in his arms, I faced him and grinned to lighten up the mood.

He chuckled, and kissed me on the lips. “What kind of choice is that? But if that’s what you think is the best, then I’m fine with that.”

Yunho spent the whole afternoon showing me his extreme affection, if you catch my drift.





With teary eyes, I gave Yunho one last kiss before getting inside the bus. At this point, I threw my concerns at being found out away and tried not to be bothered by the few soldiers and their loved ones staring at us, in surprise, perhaps? This was the last time Yunho and I would be seeing each other in a span of two years. Our lovemaking was more intense than ever – he made sure that every and mark he left would be something I would never forget.

I’d be lying if I said it was okay, that it’s just two years and it will pass, but it had to be okay or we would both suffer until those two years are up.

“Write to me!” Yunho shouted from outside, cupping his mouth with his hands, and I chuckled, giving him a thumbs up. Just for the heck of it, I’m going to start writing one as soon as I got home.

Right when the bus driver started the engine, I forced myself to look away from my stunning soldier, then jumped in surprise upon seeing Yeseul sitting beside me. Did she have a habit of sneaking up on people and giving them heart attacks?

“Hi,” I said tentatively, not really knowing what to tell her. I’m sure she had witnessed my moment with Yunho and quite frankly, I wouldn’t want to deal with her if she’s going to talk about it.

“We broke up.”

I blinked, unable to mask my surprise. I might not know her well but the news was still shocking to hear. She was so excited earlier, glowing and she looked really happy, but now, as I looked at her, she had this heavy and gloomy aura.

“You can tell me why if you want to.” I told her.

“He’s gay.” Honestly, this was what I was expecting. All I did was briefly look at him earlier, I knew there was something off and I was even more suspicious when he kept on staring at me. Even when Yunho arrived, I could see through the corner of my eye that he kept on glancing at me. It was a little disconcerting, to say the least. “I had no idea.” she said, and then proceeded to break down.

There was something so awkward about trying to comfort someone you barely know. You are clueless about what to tell her simply because you don’t know what she’s like. You had no idea if it’s okay to tell her this and that. You don’t know how she’ll react and if she takes any of your attempts of comforting her the wrong way, then you’re basically in trouble.

Reaching out, I patted her gently on the shoulder. “How could you have no idea?” I asked, and then continued, “I don’t even know him and yet I was able to tell. I thought you knew and was fine with it since there are some women who, you know, prefer gay men than straight ones.”

“I – I had no idea. I’m so stupid.”

Okay, well, way to go self, you just made her feel worse.

So to say, I spent the entire ride back home trying to make her feel better which, by the way, I managed to do. What I didn’t manage to do, though, was claw her eyes out because the , while heartbroken over her breakup, was even more bothered at the fact that Yunho was dating me. The abrupt change of topic had startled me and she threatened to tip some reporters about it if I didn’t give her a signed copy of The Punstars’ album and three VIP tickets to their comeback concert (I guess she heard about the rumour going round) and of course, when a wave of panic rushed over me, I was only able to stutter out a fine.

“Stupid, stupid Jaejoong.” I muttered, hitting my head with my fist as I watched the bus drive away.





 

these oneshots and drabbles are random ones, btw. meaning,they aren't in chronological order :)