You know how people say that you do not know the value of something until you no longer have it? Well, I realized how true it is today. Not that I don’t have you anymore… but since you’re not here next to me as you used to be, it makes all the difference. I realized how much of a role you play in my life, how much I need you, how you mean everything to me. Well, what happened isn’t that much of a big deal; I got sick.

A few days ago, I went out to buy groceries after I got home from work. On the way back, it started snow like a lot! I couldn’t even see a few meters in front of me. Since its winter, I had a coat with me, but without you reminding me to attach the hood of my jacket before leaving the house, I forgot. Usually, even if I forget my hood, you were always there with an umbrella in your bag, “just in case” as you always say. You were always prepared, for the best, for the worst, while I was always the one who was more spontaneous, hurried, all over the place. You were always there to clean up my mess, to tidy up the whirlwind of energy that I am, and now it’s just me storming down my own path of destruction. When we walk under your umbrella, you would always make me hold onto your arm (just in case my clumsy feet slip in a puddle) and tilt the umbrella over to my side by just a few innocent degrees (just to keep me dryer) with no concern about how your whole other side got soaked by the rain or got covered with snow (but it’s a wonder you never got sick… Ice Princess with a great immune system).

But, I got back home looking like a snowman who was sneezing out snowflakes. My fingers were as cold as yours. My nose the color of Rudolph’s and I immediately thought about how you loved teasing me about it, and squeezing it. That reminds me… Christmas is coming up soon!

Anyways, so now I’m sick, bedridden, dizzy, feeling out of the world, and closer to you than I have felt in months. No Jessi to baby Tiffy. So I’m just sick, alone, missing you.

My sleep has been clouded with nightmares. Your beautiful smile, crooked. Your eyes, beautiful yet hollow. Your presence, cold by my side. Your hand, just a feather touch against mine, untouchable yet seemingly within reach. I wake up doused with sweat, heart hammering in my chest, your name in the tip of my tongue, the feel of your touch lingering on my skin as if you were here, as you were in my dreams. It starting to seem like reality is the nightmare; at least in my dreams, you are still here.

You are still here… I know you are still here. Still here… stay with me.

A/N: sorry i havent updated as much as i promised... my mom keeps dragging me to work instead of letting me enjoy my summer holiday :(( and i keep trying to write other oneshots hehe anyways, here i am! i'm back.. and hopefully i'll remain motivated and not lazy enough to write more within this week ^^

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