seventh bloom

{where liking someone wasn't as simple as choosing between black or white}

 

 

Luhan wasn't surprised waking up in a familiar place. Always. Always ended up in the same lying position. Always ended up staring at his cream-colored walls. Always ended up having no recollection of why he was there until it washed over him like a huge tidal wave.

       "Ah!" He pulled himself up immediately. But then, "Ouch!" Somewhere at the back of his head, he felt a terrible sting like something blunt hit him square in the head. 

       "Of course it would hurt if you forced yourself up like that." He heard it again, his brother's awful voice (even his existence was awful).

       He sat straight up, adjusting his sight on a focus until it landed on Yifan, who was drinking a cup of tea near the fireplace. He was holding the cup so elegantly, pinky raised up, without even looking at his poor, poor little brother. 

       "Do you remember why you're here?" his brother's voice resonated inside the empty, lonely room.

       Luhan clutched his head (so dramatically) until he felt the bandage wrapped around it. It hurt just as horribly as the first and the second (and probably the third) time he hit his head over and over again. "Damn it!" he cussed, causing Yifan's head tilted a bit to his direction. Luhan contemplated and squinted eyes but there was nothing in his head would ever come out except that one distinct hue and laces and...

       "Chen dropped you here before going home. He said you fainted the same time Minseok slipped on the floor. Victoria called me, panicking. Even mom called, asking if you're okay. She thought you're hiding some kind of terminal brain disease since you kept on fainting. Are you?"

       Just the mentioning of Minseok's name already muted the words that followed it. As if he was into the an elemental void of remembering, the image of Minseok slipping on the floor, first with his legs accidentally spread apart. And...

       "Purple..." His breath hitched like his whole room was suddenly deprived of breathable air. "! What am I thinking?!"

       "What are you thinking?" Yifan asked, tilting his head to the side, eyes narrowing. "Did you just..."

       "What?" Luhan said defensively as he moved backwards until he hit the headboard. "I just...I think there are purple blotches in my head by now due to concussion. I didn't say anything about purple ." And he covered his mouth just right about the time Yifan glared at him so hard.

       He muttered, "Okay..." with suspicion in his eyes. Then he smirked. Smug. "Is that the reason why you gave Minseok a free ride to Victoria's shop?"

       "What? No! What are you saying?"

       Yifan was standing by now, walking towards him so frigteningly slowly. He leaned forward, face just inches away from Luhan. He could smell the Jasmine flavored tea from his mouth. Then he whispered to his ears as clear as the midnight moon hovering outside his window. "ert." And he walked away like a ghost with Luhan only staring on the space he left. 

       He was stunned.

       "No, I'm not!"

       But he wouldn't admit that he had weird purple dreams that night.

 

##

 

Luhan was anxious. Having the five similar classes with Minseok everyday was a challenge to him. He didn't know how to survive looking at the other when all he could see and remember was (nngg!) that accident yesterday that kept replaying in his mind like an overused, overrated, viral GIF in tumblr or something. 

       Speaking of whom, Minseok's head peeked out the door of their classroom, looking for somewhere to sit. He was the last one to come in the morning before but ever since he worked for Victoria, he never came late now. Luhan ducked his head, seeing Minseok's attention briefly went to him. He was nervous (and waiting) but mostly nervous. There were light footsteps coming closer then it all stopped. Luhan was surprised when he heard a ruckus beside him. Normally, all the students would prefer sitting at the back. He's the only brave person who chose the front seat because he knew he'd ace the class wherever he chose to go, so it didn't matter. But now, it all mattered. It all effin' mattered because Minseok was sitting beside him with that...

       "What?" he asked when he saw Minseok looking at him despondently. 

       The boy suddenly palmed Luhan's face and even felt his forehead. Then he sighed, sitting just right beside Luhan (so threateningly close; their arms were two centimetres apart!)

       "Huh...I thought you're sick or something." Luhan looked at him, looked at the way Minseok spoke. And he said those words so sincerely, the worried evidently etched on his face like he was about to tear up. "I even thought you're dying. You really made me worried yesterday. Are you fine now?" He asked slowly, voice so velvety that it traveled sweetly like a morning serenade to Luhan's ear.

       It rendered him speechless.

       "I know I'm not much of a help but if you need help, I'll help with all that I can," he said, placing his hand atop Luhan's, squeezing it. 

       For the first time in his school life, Luhan failed to ace their quiz. 

 

##

 

Chen was on the lunch table by the time Luhan got there. He was waving frantically, showcasing his usual feline grin, but Luhan was like a ghost floating towards his direction.

       "Did you forgot to eat breakfast or is that the effect of severe head concussion you had for the past few days? Why are you pale?"

       Luhan started digging on the pasta that Chen ordered for himself, leaving the other surprised because Luhan never shared food with him before. Heck, he even freaked out if they used the same utensil. It must be the end of the world. What was happening to his friend? Was he really dying? He thought Luhan fainted yesterday because he saw Minseok's feminine form. But maybe Chen was wrong. Maybe, Luhan was really dying from brain disease of some kind.

       For some reason, Chen started tearing up. "Oh my god. I never thought our friendship will end so early..." he sobbed, faked tears leaking from his eyes. "All this years—aw!" He groaned when he felt something hard hit his head. 

       "What are you being dramatic about?" Yifan said monotonously.

       "Can't you see? Luhan's dying. Look, he's not responding to us anymore. His brain cells are slowly deteriorating, and you're still acting like it doesn't matter?!"

       Yifan rolled his eyes, dumping the stack of books held by his one hand onto the table. That made Luhan snapped from his absent-mindedness and looked at them, still blank. 

       "I don't think he's dying." Yifan pointed out, not showing any sign of concern for his brother.

       "Then what is it?"

       "I think someone's just confused," Yifan said, "like being in love..."

       Chen gasped, eyes shut open. "I knew it!"

       No one seemed to be paying attention even if Chen shouted. No one cared about Luhan anyway. Everyone's attention was on the counter and the boy standing behind it, wearing an apron and smiling so happily to every person in the line. No one was even lining up on the rest of the cashiers. All were congested in front of Minseok. Although it created quite a stir the first time everyone saw him wearing waiter's apron and serving food inside the cafeteria, the speculations died down eventually and Luhan concluded that 99% of the school population were idiots. Unfortunately, the news that spread out was that Minseok was serving in the cafeteria possibly because his family owned chains and chains of food-related businesses in God-knows-where and he was just trying to get first-hand experience of being a waiter to prove himself as the future heir. 

       (Heir of what? Heir of none.)

       Chen pulled Luhan with one arm. "I know you're experiencing the symptoms of love. You just don't want to admit it."

       "Admit what?" the other asked absent-mindedly.

       "You're in love. So tell us, who's the unlucky one?"

       "Unlucky...in love..." Luhan looked at him, scandalised. "I'm not in love! 

       Yifan just snorted in the corner.

       "I. Am. Really. Not. In—"

       "Excuse me. Professor Wu, here's your order. Steak salmon and salad on the side. And for Luhan...dumplings." Everyone's head looked up as someone interrupted their heated discussion. Minseok was still standing behind the register, Luhan could see. And this man—this smiling as the brightest star man—standing in front of them, he looked so familiar. "Enjoy your lunch!"

       That's when Chen nudged him but Luhan remained unmoving until the boy was gone and walked away to take other orders.

       "It's him," was all Luhan could say. It was the same man who helped Minseok in the same place days ago. The reason for Luhan's embarrassing 'Superman' photo in their gossip magazine. The same reason he wasn't able to move when Minseok needed help. (That effin' same man!) Although he didn't know why he started to feel like something inside of him was boiling but the longer he stared at him, the hotter it felt. Especially when the man returned behind the counter, smiled at Minseok, and ! (Did he just ing slapped Minseok's ?!) That's when he stood up abruptly, unknowingly flaring his nostrils.

       "What are you doing?" Yifan whispered, pulling him down. Not another scandal, he thought, not anymore.

       "I'll just..." Luhan's teeth were gritting. "I'll just get the ketchup." And he stormed away.

       Chen and Yifan looked at each other. Then Chen asked, "I don't know you use ketchup for dumplings in China."

       "We don't," Yifan defended. 

 

##

 

Afternoon classes came and Luhan still had to endure two more classes with Minseok, one of which had to be in the presence of his nosy brother who was looking at him weirdly during lunchtime as he ate his dumplings with ketchup. That was the grossest thing he had ever eaten in his entire life but he failed to notice it when all his attention was focused on those two boys flirting behind the counter. Didn't they have shame?

       So, there he was sitting at the back of the class. He wasn't avoiding anyone (or someone). He just wanted to stay away because it's not like he's obligated to sit upfront all the time. He sat at the back even though he couldn't see a single from his distance to the board. It's his fault for not bringing his reading glasses, but it's fine. Yifan was his professor anyway. He could just borrow (steal) his notes.

       Again, for the record, he's not mad at anyone (or someone). He's just...it's the effect of dumpling on ketchup. Not good for the mood.

       After the class, he hurriedly ran to the front to take a snapshot of the board. Yifan wasn't talking to him but closely looking. It was when someone bumped to him and when he looked back, it's...

       "Luhan. I thought you weren't here." There's an enthusiasm on the way Minseok's lips stretched in a thin smile. "I—"

       "Min!"

       Then the rest of the class started creating hushed noises. Whispers and gossips everywhere. Even if Luhan pretended not to hear, he could hear their words clearly. 

       He turned around which he wished he didn't. The blood began to simmer again. The hushed noises flooded his eardrums, drowning him with statements like: "Oh my god, isn't that Minseok's gentleman hero?" or "It's the one who helped Minseok at the cafeteria", or worse, "They look so cute together!"

       "Sunbae-nim! Why are you here?" 

       Luhan didn't have a glimpse of what Minseok looked like upfront but the way his voice hitched when he yelled 'sunbae-nim' indicated how happy he was. And given that the said sunbae was also grinning—the same grin he had when he slapped Minseok's earlier (multiple times actually)—he knew they were both anticipating their meeting. 

       Pft! Like he cared about it...

       "I just thought since I'm on my way to my art class and you're next class is in the same building, maybe we can walk together."

       Luhan's eyes got wider than they already were. (Damn it! Taking art classes.) He didn't have any art classes. But he didn't care. Why would he care? (Still, damn it!)

       "Sure!" Minseok turned to him before saying, "Bye, Luhan."

       He stayed silent. Then his hand started to itch. His hand was slowly rising, wanting to wave goodbye. 

       "Wait." Minseok and the other man—whoever he was—looked at him, waiting for the words to come out of his mouth. "Ah...I, I, I" Why was he stuttering? "I want to tell you that...ah..." (Come on, Luhan, talk!) What was he going to say anyway? "I..."

       "We're going to be late..." the sunbae spoke.

       (Come on, say something.) He could feel the trail of sweat from his temple to his cheek. 

       "I...you...you shouldn't be late...to your job...later...ah..." 

       Yifan's eyebrows met as he observed them. 

       "Oh, of course." Minseok just looked at him, sporting that innocent caramelized gum-showing smile. "I won't be late." He patted his shoulder before walking towards the sunbae. The sunbae looked at Luhan (which appeared more like a glare) before laying his arm on Minseok's shoulder, pulling the other closer to him. 

       Yifan watched his brother, frozen, in the middle of the classroom, gritting his teeth.

 

##

 

"Oh my, are you alright?" Victoria came to Luhan immediately right after he entered the door.

       Minseok was nowhere to be found in the front desk. Luhan didn't bother to give him a ride there. Who did he think he was, earning free rides? No way.

       (Again, just to make it clear, he wasn't mad. No reason to be.)

       "You made me worried yesterday, you know," her sister was still talking to him. Yifan followed after him. 

       "Where's Mi—your front desk? You're paying someone to work and he—I mean—she's just slacking off somewhere. That's unfair." 

       "No. If you're asking about Minseok, he went to the basement to get some new stocks. You don't how thankful I am that he's here. He can carry five big boxes at a time. If only he isn't wearing girl's dress, I'm sure his flexed muscles are visible to the eye."

       Yifan was just observing his brother, noting how his face turned pale upon Victoria's description.

       "Just to remind you, you're married," Luhan pointed out.

       "I know. I'm just saying. He's so manly as opposed to his cute outer appearance. Don't you think?"

       "What? No. I never imagined how his muscles flexed or something like that. I don't care."

       "You're being defensive again," Yifan noted.

       "I'm not," Luhan deadpanned. Though, obviously, he was sweating.

       "Okay. Point taken," Yifan said when the door opened as Minseok entered with not only five but six stacks of boxes in his arms.

       "Oh my, Minseok, you don't have to do that." Victoria looked stunned. Yifan started nudging Luhan but his brother was just mouthing 'what' to him with his eyebrows raised. The elder sighed before lending a hand to the poor (did not mean literally) boy. 

       "Thank you so much, sir."

       "Don't call me sir or professor when we're outside the university. Hyung is fine."

       Luhan clicked his tongue, but his rigid expression melted into gooey disbelief when he saw Minseok, this time, wearing a blond wig and one piece floral dress. It was as if there was lack of oxygen in the room all of a sudden with Minseok all the breathable air especially when the air blew from nowhere and started making the dress dance with the wind.

       (Goodness, he's wearing orange!)

       "Hey," Yifan poked his side, seeing his paling complexion.

       "Oh my god, this is not true," he muttered between quick breaths.

       "What? You can't believe Minseok could handle six boxes at a time, huh."

       "No." He staggered back, swaying his head. "This is not so true."

       "What?"

       "I think I'm...I think I'm not gay."

 

##

 

"Oh no, no, no." Chen waved his hand in disapproval, his lips puckering. "That's impossible." He was sitting on Luhan's carpeted floor while trying to jump and shoot zombies on the television. Luhan was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

       "Then, how will you explain it?"

       "As far as I could remember, YOU LIKE GUYS." The zombies were multiplying, attacking him Chen at once. "." After being bitten, he threw the controller on the floor and faced Luhan. "Did you forgot when you announced it to the whole middle school and everyone was like—no way—but then, I stayed by your side until you proved them that you're not worth the ridicule because you're smart and talented?"

       Oh yeah. Those were the good old days. He had already forgotten those days—those days where Chen was worth to be called the best among the best friends one could ever had. Eventually, everyone in their former school accepted who he was. He had no trouble with his parents or his siblings as they already hinted his preference way before. 

       But those days...he couldn't...he's just...he's so confused. "I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE!" He clutched his head desperately.

       "Do you know what could have triggered that feeling to you? It's not as if you just blinked and turned 180 degrees all of sudden. There must have been a trigger."

       Luhan contemplated so hard. His lips were quivering. "The ..." His eyes narrowed. "It must be the ."

       Chen's face contorted hideously.

 

##

 

"I don't like this idea." Luhan crossed his arms, sending Yifan and Chen a glare. 

       "What? You said you like girls. This is the only way to test it."

       "I didn't sign up for this!" He complained. Seriously, when Yifan told him that he had a good idea to help him realize his real preference, Luhan thought of some philosophical travel or at least, going to a temple to meditate or something.

       Dressing up with fashionably wasn't his problem. He's a homo (or former homo) because he thought he liked guys but he still preferred acting and dressing as a man. But not like this. Not this with all the tall girls around him, sending him flirtatious smile and wink. Yes, he was daydreaming about since yesterday and he still couldn't get enough of the orange or purple lingerie in his mind, but this was too much for him to handle.

       "Are you ready?" a girl—he recalled her name was Chorong—nudged him lightly, sending him a smile. If he was really back to liking girls, her smile could have definitely killed him off. But NO! He just nodded shyly before creating a distance between him and her.

       Why was he suddenly here modeling for his sister's fashion lineup just because Yifan and Chen thought that immersing with girls would waken up the Adonis in him?

(Luhan would like to work with you, Yifan said, pushing Luhan to Victoria with him having no knowledge why he was suddenly at her store on Saturday.

Minseok was still not there.

What? Who told you—

That's great! Victoria hugged him, giving him no air for a protest. I only have few male models and most of them are busy for this season. I'm glad you finally wanted to help.

But...

I'll call Krystal to dress you up.)

       And he's here. Well, that's bull! He was quivering, not of fear, but of disgust. There were number of girls around him. Some were sending him a flirtatious wink since he got there. Some were clinging to him as if they were close. Someone even pinched his . It's totally...totally disgusting!

       "I—I'm going home..." Yifan stood by the door.

       Chen pulled him back. "You're not going anywhere. Come on. You're a good looking guy. It's in your genes. Every girls and boys alike had a crush on you when we were still in high school. If only you didn't appear on that gossip magazine with a stain on your pants, maybe you're as popular as Minseok by now."

       "Really?" 

       Chen smiled. (Want an expert in taming a Luhan? Call Chen now!)

       "Yes, you are baby. Yes, you are."

       "But..."

       Chen put his finger to halt Luhan's mouth to open. "No buts...no buts..." he hushed. He pushed Luhan forcefully until his friend stumbled forward and almost knocked off the camera stand. The assistant already pulled him in front of the camera. Chen stepped backwards until he knew he was perfectly blended with the wall as he pulled out his favorite weapon, his own camera. Luhan might be confused but he, himself, knew what he liked.

       "Tall, long-legged girls...yes!"

 

##

 

"Wait here. The other male model is coming."

       Luhan looked nothing but exhausted. Chen was fanning him, wiping his poor friend's sweat. He looked like a dying walrus but Chen didn't care. He got multiple shots of his favorite models. He could live with it. 

       "What?" Luhan asked, lost of energy in his voice. "Are we still not done yet?"

       "I'm sorry," Victoria apologized. "You have to take few shots with our main male model."

       "Then why isn't he here yet?!" Luhan was already complaining, flailing his arms, thrasing on the sofa.

       "He's busy. He's a famous model, you see. I'm really sorry. But he's already outside. Krystal is just preparing him for the shoot. He'll be here soon."

       Before Victoria could walk further. "Wait." Luhan stopped her. "Is Minseok already here?"

       "Ah, not yet. But it's fine. Luna is taking care of the front desk. But he's on his way, I think. Oh, he's here!" 

       Luhan lifted his body from leaning against Chen and looked towards the direction of the door. He quickly stood up not because he's finally meeting his technically sunbae in the model industry, but because ( times ten!) it was the same sunbae that Minseok was talking with, Minseok walked with, Minseok smiled to, and Minseok had his slapped by. 

       "Oh, this is gonna be great," he heard Chen whispered excitedly beside him.

       "Oh, you're finally here," Victoria greeted the sunbae.

       "I'm sorry, noona. I just have to run some errands."

       "It's fine. By the way, I want you to meet your co-model for this shoot and he's my brother." Victoria pulled the sunbae's arm as they both approached Luhan.

       Luhan stood up ever so highly even though he's inches smaller than the sunbae. But he didn't care. He's not mad! He's just...ah!

 

##

 

"Isn't that the guy who helped Minseok at the cafeteria?" Yifan asked Chen. 

       "Oh yeah," Chen grinned. Yifan saw him bringing out his camera again and taking snapshots of Luhan and the said guy.

       "Why are you smiling like that?"

       Chen giggled. "It's just that I never thought he's here."  

       "The guy?" Yifan asked. Chen nodded. "What's the matter?"

       "It's just that I knew that guy so well. He's rich, you know." Chen was smiling but his eyes suddenly widened. "Hey, do you think it will be a good idea if he saw Minseok as a girl?"

       "What do you mean?" Yifan asked.

       "Look." Chen pointed out as they watched Minseok entered the room. He was already wearing a short white pencil skirt, a white floral button-up blouse (showing his midriff), and red stilettos. He was almost there, walking with papers in his hand, approaching Victoria. Luhan and the other man were still glaring at each other intensely. 

       Chen was gripping on Yifan's arm really hard as if slowly tearing his skin away from his muscles. "What's your problem?"

       "I think we should stop Minseok," Chen said, horrified.

       "Why?"

       "That guy was the same guy who bought Minseok's pictures from me."

       "What?" Yifan pushed Chen aside as he ran. Even the way there seemed to be miles away, his body moving in slow motion, mouth wide opened to say something but nothing was coming out. "NooooOOOOooooo..."

 

##

 

"Luhan, I want you to meet our loyal model for the company and he's also a famous international model, Jung Heecheol. Heecheol, here is my brother, Luhan."

       Luhan felt his fair skin turning into patches of green; his nostrils were flaring as he reached his hand to the sunbae. He was trying to be calm but he couldn't. He'd make sure to squeeze those hands hard... "Aw!" 

       "What?" Victoria asked.

       What? This...The sunbae just squeezed his hand like an orange pulp. Worst, he's already thinner than average. He felt his bone broken as he moved his fingers. 

       "Nothing," he said, close to a whimper.

       The sunbae smiled at him...deviously. "Nice to meet you, Luhan."

       He smiled back, stiff. "Nice to meet you, too."

       They both shook hands and both failed to hear Minseok's muffled voice as Yifan and Chen dragged the innocent chick away.

 

---

It's Jung Heecheol of ZE:A. It has to be him. Watch this and you'll understand why.