Tao followed the two men for a long time. His tears had dried and his heart had calmed down. Yet he did not dare to come closer, nor to interrupt them. He only watched, picking up on their dynamic. Somehow he felt like seeing himself all those years ago when he first arrived in Korea and met Yifan. Following him everywhere with this look of adoration in his eyes, copying his fashion and ponytail hairstyle. The shorter man looked older though, but Tao knew how attractive the other's aura was. He had spent so much time consciously and unconsciously building a pedestal for his old friend that even now, almost four years since they last saw each other, it was frustrating to feel so small all over again just by seeing him from afar. For a moment, he wondered if the confidence he had in himself would one day mean anything against Yifan's assured attitude. The other had never needed make-up to build his stance, never needed the repeated proclaimed love from anonymous supporters and always ignored the passerby's looks. He did not thrive on people's attention like he did himself and perhaps this was the reason why, four years later, Tao could only feel like an immature child all over again.

Nothing seemed to have really changed about Yifan. Was he really 27 now ? Even in a simple shirt and jean, he still looked like the ever famous college fashion lover everyone could not help but notice. It might appear weird, but Tao had forgotten more about his physical appearance than his charisma as a person. Rediscovering the lines of his face and his smile as he turned to the short guy who was with him, Tao felt the betrayal from the overdose drama return. How he had hated him at the time. The now long established indifference within him was slowly cracking and the bitterness he had been left to cope with came back in crashing waves over his broken heart. He did knew about the other's dissatisfaction with the idol life. He knew Yifan had never dreamt of singing and took SM audition for the sole reason his friend did not want to live the frightening experience alone. And that he took the opportunity that was offered to him only because the job at the end looked pretty. He had persisted through the tough training believing the life after debuts would be easier. And he had been disappointed. His first escape to Canada had been a period of negociation for SM representatives, and after much persuasion, Yifan had come back, to the relief of all the other members, and of young Tao whose world revolved solely around the band in Korea. Once again, his duizhang was playing around with him and accompanied him for the smallest whim or the right aegyo.

But somehow, duizhang was brooding. Kris was brooding. Spacing out on set, or amusing himself and the others with nonsense. Not that Yifan did not like nonsensical jokes. Just that Kris' nonsensical replies were underlined with a sort of sarcastic and bitter tone.

Which member has the most fans ? I don't know, Kris had answered when everyone knew Yifan would have pointed at himself shamelessly.

Tao still remembered one of their basketball getaways, one where they could be found catching their breath and lying on the tarmac, face up towards the night sky. I haven't really stopped thinking about flying away Tao. You should always stand for yourself, you never know when I'll finally take off. Tao had smiled at the words and talked about his own flight, about wushu, skilled martial artists and actors.

So sure, he knew Yifan was not exactly happy and he felt hurt when the other prefered to distance himself sometimes. Tao's younger self had not realized something was up when Yifan talked to Hangeng for over an hour in hushed whispers during Jackie Chan 60th birthday's charity concert or when he let himself be hugged and clung to his taller frame longer than usual. He had not comprehended as signs the random embraces the other initiated even when he usually refrained them in public, not even when a shy I'll always love you was whispered in his ear during their last hug. He had smiled at the silliness of his beloved duizhang and replied with a mocking I love you too, stupid, don't cry too much without me. Little did he knew how strong the slap back to reality would be when hours later, it was the press who unfolded the ugly truth, backed up even later by an Exo saranghaja! cowardly sent to each of their cellphones as a last goodbye.

It took him months to realize he had lost more than a brother figure with Yifan's departure. The first tears of shock and confusion and feeling of void were nothing compared to the tears he had shed later on against Sehun's lips and warm embrace, when he had admitted to himself that maybe, just maybe, Yifan had been his whole world.

And now that he had him in front of him, that he had the opportunity to walk up to him and scream his heart and hurt out, he was petrified by the idea that meeting him once again could shatter into pieces the world he had slowly been mending back together.

His phone suddenly rang with the kakaotalk sound assigned to their exo chatroom, and he quickly pulled out the device to discover Jongdae's message.

" NO SEHUN IS NOT BANGING MY GF THAT WAS A IN PRANK AND IM OFF TO IN KILL HIM "

Tao snorted and sent a " ur dead meat sehunnie " before getting his attention back to his own dilemma.

Who happened to have disappeared.