Tao held his eyes only for a moment before he focused back on the shooting, letting Yifan watch as he posed. The music was slow, hypnotic and Yifan took in the languid shift of Tao's hips. The younger man's eyes turned towards the lens in his half glory, reminding Yifan of a scene he wished he could erase from his memories. But the same collarbones stood there before him, inviting and glowing. And Yifan felt himself be pulled in. His eyes followed the other's hand trail over the different shades of tan on his throat, head thrown back and enraptured in the deep bass beat. His fingers pressed lightly in the hollow of his jaw, then hovered over the sharp bone as the camera flashed. There was something enthralling about the whole movement, and Yifan wondered how his feet resisted taking the step forward. The photographer kept urging him, “great, a little bit more,” urging them “feel it, the want, feel those fingers across your skin” and it should not have helped feeding his own imagination. But it did, and Yifan kept watching, warmth spreading over his body like the endless motion of waves over the sand.

Yet it crashed, like every fantasy. “Ok, segment done, good job!”

Yifan had not registered when the shirts had been taken away from him, and he was still in a daze when Tao's hug and the slide of his arms around him sent tingles all over his clothed body.

“Yifan ! What are you doing here ?!!” Tao's smile was dazzling, and it felt slightly off, almost surreal, but he started talking happily, showing Yifan around and explaining the concept of the photoshoot. Soon, the next segment had to be shot, and Yifan was left with the promise they would meet later on. And it took dumbfounded Yifan almost all the way to his apartment to realize there were no more excitedly sprouted ge, no more hyung and no more duizhang in Tao's speech.

*.*.*

The following day, Tao ushered Yifan in. When they settled around a beer, Tao was surprised to hear about Yifan's moving in Beijing, but he did not criticized his decision, nor did he make any comment on his relationship with Tan-Mi, if not for the fleeting smile on his lips.

“I live in Beijing too” He said instead. “My contract with SM ended last September. I was half-tempted by their offer to sign a new contract, but I guess I missed China a bit too much...” His ringed fingers drummed on his glass, and Yifan realized that one of the many rings was actually the one he had sent him through Yen-Wen. “I signed with an acting agency, I haven't made the news public yet, but I've started filming already.” He sipped at his drink thoughtfully, before looking at Yifan. “To tell you the whole truth, yesterday's photoshoot will be released a few days before the movie. I'll be the cover for High Cut, ain't that cool ?” He added with a smirk.

Yifan's eyes dropped to the other's lips, but he said nothing, and only nodded in agreement. If Tao had been easy to figure out before, he seemed to be an enigma now. Yifan could tell he enjoyed his new life in China, if Tao's mood was any indication. It was in the way he balanced his shoulders, or maybe it was because they were at his place and that he was in his own element. Or maybe it was just another matter altogether, a matter of intuition, that whispered in Yifan's ear that Tao did not need guidance nor protection anymore.

“Tao...” He asked after a short silence. “Are we like... Ok now ?”

Tao leaned on his elbow, face cupped in his palm as he scrutinized the older man's careful expression. Yifan felt himself be pulled in by the black orbs but he stayed motionless, waiting.

“We are.” The younger man eventually said. “I'm sorry if I've been annoying.” He sighed. “I guess I couldn't help falling for my most good-looking friend, being gay and all..” He added. “But I'm over you now. It was just a crush, don't worry.” A smile spread his lips, and Yifan's mouth opened to answer, but Tao was quick to resume his explanation. “And you don't look as impressive now. Maybe? I don't mean it in a bad way! It's just that whatever you did before always had such a big impression on me.”

Yifan chuckled, both relieved and sick from the weight that had just dropped in his stomach. “Great then, we can be friends again.”

And friends they became. They started seeing each other often, especially at night to play basketball or to bike. It felt like life had never separated them, and Yifan was thankful for the laughter Tao brought, and for the fact he was one of the only friends from his younger days that he saw on regular basis. Of course they had to be discreet, and Tao's fame had led them to some funny hiding situations, but it had helped to strengthen their relationship.

Tan-Mi had been bugging him to accompany them on their outings, and it was only so long before Yifan could postpone their meeting, since Tao had also expressed his desire to meet his girlfriend. If he was honest with himself, there were several reasons why he wanted to prevent the unavoidable event, but the main one started unfolding as soon as Tao stepped over his threshold.

“Hi! It's a pleasure to finally meet you!” Tan-Mi said, not letting go of the younger man's hand after he had extended it in greetings.

“I might have forgotten to tell you she's a big fan of yours...” Yifan explained with shrugging shoulders and an innocent look directed at Tao's bewildered face.

Fortunately they warmed up to each other quickly, and soon Yifan felt almost estranged to their discussion as Tan-Mi kept questioning Tao about MV productions and special effects. As he watched them, Yifan eventually understood why he felt such an uncomfortable void spread in his chest. It had been years since he had last seen Tao interact with anyone else, and it felt weird not having him gravitating around his sole person or trying to grab a moment of his attention. The comings and goings of Tan-Mi's hand on his thigh was small consolation, so he slid his arm around her waist, thumbing circles against her hip as the reality that Tao's wings had grown hit him harder than he ever thought it would.

A few days later, the doorbell of the shop startled Yifan out of his concentration on an article about the new red Valentino would use for their next collection. Looking at the hour, he noticed how late it was already, and he decided on wrapping things up and helping to close the shop. When he eventually went out of his office, he was surprised to discover who the last customer was.

“Hey, Yifan !” Tao said. “I was hoping I could find you here.”

His employee seemed to be almost panicking at the two meeting, so Yifan sent her a reassuring look and told her she could leave. Tao rummaged through the aisles, pulling some clothes and accessories to look at them closer. Once Yifei left, he turned to Yifan, eyes and mouth smiling in glee.

“I have something for you!” He said, searching through his bag. “I have to give it to you tonight because I have a plane early in the morning tomorrow. One of the actors has twisted his ankle badly so there were some rescheduling here and there.” Still not finding what he was looking for, he put down his bag on a nearby shelf. “ !” He let out when his phone fell out of his pants pocket. In a familiar gesture, he bent at the waist to pick it up, and suddenly, the room felt that much hotter to Yifan. He had not intended to look at Tao that way, and even if he had promised to himself he would never, never again, think of him in a ual way, the movement had been too sudden, and the unwanted sparks were back, accompanied by the sight of very firm looking buttocks enclosed in very tight pants.

When he finally fished out a small paper and handed it to Yifan, it took him a few seconds to comprehend it was an envelope, and few more seconds to open it. Tao 27^th Private Birthday Party, the card inside read.

“I intended to give it to you later, but I will be back in two weeks or so, and it would have been a bit late.”

“But, won't it be a bit awkward with me there ?”

Tao looked at him, contemplative. “If it's not a problem for you, it won't be a problem for anybody.” At Yifan's skeptical look, he continued. “You have to realize that we've all grown up, nobody is holding grudge against you, not even Joonmyun! Well, maybe some staff or higher-ups but time have flown by. And I'm throwing it here in Beijing, not a lot of Korean people will make it anyways.”

He gathered his belongings together and stepped closer to Yifan, squeezing his forearm between his fingers and giving him an encouraging smile. “I'd like to see you there, think about it please.”

It was at this very moment that Yifan understood that their relationship had indeed undergone some change. Because it was the first time that Yifan was the one who needed to be encouraged. The touch had been brief, definitely unexpected, but it had an intention, and Yifan suddenly felt very small and childish in front of Tao. He was not supposed to be the one wanting the other's touch or reassuring words, he was not supposed to crave for the tingles it sent down to his backbone, nor have his breath caught in his throat when the younger man eventually leaned into him to give him a short hug before leaving.

Tao stood tall now, proud and confident, and Yifan felt like he was just another moth attracted to his light.

I'm so screwed up, he thought.

______________________________________

Here is the long awaited meeting chapter, I hope you're not disappointed >.<