~FIND ME A HAPPY PLACE?~

“Light”

We found this local restaurant that sells pretty cheap. It's a good thing that this restaurant is near at the bust terminal so after this, we could go inside the terminal and see the sunset as the bus drive us to a new place. It made me excited but the problem is I'm running pretty low in the terms of money.

"Go and find us some seat" I commanded to Ji Eun. She nodded and even made an ok sign. I find her very cute as she walked away and find us some seat. I could not help but stare at her back as she leaves me at the counter. 

Then I heard a forced cough, I looked at the old lady in front of me. She smiled and said, "Is she your girlfriend? She looks adorable.” 

I blushed at her comment, "Umm.. No, she's a friend". She eyed me like she doesn't believe to what I told her. I just shrugged it off since it's going to be my last time seeing this old woman. We'll be out of this city in less than an hour.

"What would be your order, pretty boy?"

I didn't make myself be affected of her name for me. If Ji Eun would call me that it would be a different story. I would have smiled for a day. I checked my wallet, first. I saw that the only thing I could afford here is one meal, which is a combo meal that consists of two eggs, a burn toast and a cup of coffee. I looked at Ji Eun and saw her waiting at the end of the restaurant. She's looking at the window but seconds later she looked at me. She waved and it made me smile. I'm grateful that she's here. If I would be alone, I don't know what would happen to me without her.

Right... I know what I had to do.

After I ordered, I headed back to the seat where Ji Eun reserved for us. She noticed me as I walked towards her with a tray on my hands. She smiled but it faded when she saw what was on the tray. She was gonna tell something to me, probably asking why I only ordered a meal only for her. I immediately went to the restroom. 

The restroom they offer here is not a decent one. The tiles on the floor are dirty white and some of them are already cracked. I just needed to do something here. I faced the sink and opened it. I felt pain on my hands because of what happened yesterday. I kind of lost control and just punched everyone who hurt me and Ji Eun which made my knuckles turn purple and a faint scratch that bled. Good thing that it’s healing but the pain is still there. With a groans of pain coming from my mouth, I washed my hands in the sink. The water wet my hands that are covered with dry blood that came from my father, Ji Eun's dad, and mine. And I would do it in a heartbeat if I would be asked to do it again. They deserve it. They deserve pain.

My hands went numb for a couple of seconds as I draw it back from the sink. I didn't even bother to dry it using a hanky in my pocket because it would be just too painful.  I let out a groan as I walked out of the restroom. I saw Ji Eun frown but I'm too distracted to care because I need to hide the fact that my hands are in pain. She doesn't need the stress. She doesn't have to care for a person like me; especially when she finally saw the true me last night, twisted, crooked, and a monster just like her father. I'm the one who should be caring for her not the other way around. I sat and placed my hands under the table for her not to see. 

"Why did you ordered only one?" she asked.

"I'm not that hungry" I lied once again. I hate this part of me, a liar. This habit of mine is beginning to become a vice that never should have been there. But I had to. If I have to do this for her, just for her sake I would. I'd lie a thousand times just for her safety and happiness even if someday my soul would be in hell for being such a liar. An image of a demon as he try to slice my tongue for being a liar passed in my thoughts. That would hurt but who cares it’s for her.

"Liar" she snapped, "How could you lie since I know that you have a habit of eating too much in the morning."

How did she know...

As if she read my mind she said, "You told me before. You told me how you would wake up when you were a kid and cry because no one would try to make you breakfast."

I frowned. I remembered those times. A flash of image of a younger me, trying to wake my father as I cried for breakfast a month after mother died. He never made me breakfast. I tried my best to make him sober so that he could make breakfast for the both of us but he didn't. He never did. It was not because of just me being a childish kid that is hungry for food. I was hungry back then but in different aspect of food. I was hungry for love, for affection from my father. I wanted to hear at least a word of encouragement from him. I wanted him to tell me that all is going to be alright. I wanted him to hug me. I wanted him to make my cries in the fade away or even join me so that I won't feel alone. But he never did. He never told me again that he loved me. That's the first thing that made me bitter towards him. That was the first reason that made me feel this anger towards him.

I sighed and placed my hands on the table. She saw my hands again, shocked filled her eyes to find my hands looking worse than last night.

"You're hands!" she gasped.

I shook my head to tell her again that it's alright but she took something to her pocket and I saw her took out a hanky, a pink hanky. I saw her tear her pink hanky in to two and started to wrap my knuckles with it. When she was done, she smiled and looked at me. Her eyes are filled with worry, again. I mentally cursed myself for making her worry to me again.

"You should have told me that it looks bad." she frowned.

"I'm sorry" I said filled with sincerity. 

She smiled and held my hands that are now decorated with a floral pink hanky. I felt her touch it with care, since my hands are still not healed yet. 

"Its ok." her voice filled with care, "Just eat. Ever since I agreed to run away with you, I'm also a part of your life now. We're a team. We need to be honest with each other and share everything that we have. It's the right thing to do since we're together; you and me, together."

I can't help but blush when she said together. It sounded like we're a couple or a newly wedded couple. I also saw her blush and pulled her hand back to her again. I kind of missed the warmth that those hands gave to me but now is not the right time for this. She's right. We're a team now and I need to be honest with her.

"I got to tell you something." I started.

She leaned forward and asked, "What is it?"

I told her about my money problems. I never told her what I did to my father because of the fear of her being scared of me. I told her about how my father took all of my money and bought beer for him. 

"... That is why I went to your house last night. I couldn't take all of it anymore. I needed to get out of that house or.... or else" I felt her leaned forward and touched my cheek. The warmth that her hand radiated made me lean to her touch. Her thumb is absently making mini circles on my left cheek. It felt nice. Everything about her is nice and warm.

"It's all right." She said softly, "You don't need to explain. I understand."

"You do?"

She nodded and dropped her hand back to her. I wanted her to touch me again, anywhere, in my face, hand or even shoulder. I want to feel her warm touch against me. It made me calm. It made all the troubles inside my head turned into nothing. Even though later it would be back again. She makes me feel peace.

"You said that the only money you had let is for the tickets, right?" I nodded, "Then we'll think of a solution inside the bus but first, let's eat. We’ll share this plate and the coffee."

I smiled and said thank you to her. She took the burned toast and broke it in half. 

"I'm going to let you have the coffee but I want you to give me a bottle of water. It should be free here" she said.

I smiled and said, "Yes, Ma'am". 

After I got her a bottle of water, free just like what she said, I sat down to my seat. She's waiting for me and I smiled even more as I saw her grin.

"Let's eat" I said.

She smiled and said "Don't drink too much coffee. It's bad for an old man like you.”

I hit her playfully in the knees with my feet. I made sure that it would not hurt her. She gasped and took her revenge as she also hit me with her feet under the table. Our breakfast became a mixture of laughter and playfully hitting each other under the table. It was fun, Very fun.

~FIND ME A HAPPY PLACE?~

"Where do you want to go?" she asked. We're looking at the travel guide here in the bus terminal; A big map on the wall that showed the cities and towns in South Korea.

"I was thinking of going to Seoul. It would be a perfect place to start again; to start a new life."

She smiled widely and said "Seoul it is."

I smiled back but hesitance corrupted me, "Are you sure? It would be a long ride since this city is pretty much at the far edge of our country. Is that all right with you?"

She nodded and said something that made me blush, "Of course it's all right with me. You could bring me anywhere and I would be alright just as long as I'm with you, I know I would be alright."

I grinned like a fool as her face flushed red, "Then Seoul it is."

After that, we went to the counter where we could buy us some tickets. The lady that leads there asked us where we would go. I answered her that we would like to go to Seoul, the capital of South Korea, a place that would be our new home.

"One way or you want to a trip back here?" she asked,

Ji Eun and I looked at each other and laughed as we said to her in unison, "Are you kidding me?"

That made the lady laughed as she tries to arrange us some ticket to Seoul, a one way ticket. She smiled us widely and said, "Thank you for buying tickets to Seoul. Have a safe travel and have fun."

We nodded and left the lady at the counter. It's a good thing that it's early and we got our tickets early before a line of other buyers become long. The sun would be rising soon and I felt the cold wind slowly becoming warm as a minute pass. Ji Eun and I went inside the bus and gave the ticket man our tickets. He eyed me as he saw my floral pink handkerchief that served as a bandage for my hands. It felt weird but knowing it’s from Ji Eun made the handkerchief has a place in my heart.

We sat almost at the end. I made Ji Eun sit beside the window so she could see the sunlight as it rises later. I placed our bag at the compartment where you could put your things. I sighed as I finally sat at the comfy chair. I felt sleepy but when I heard Ji Eun giggle at excitement, I made my eyes open and look at her. She's smiling and I felt her excitement as passengers just like us started to find their seats. 

"It's almost dawn" I said, "You will see the sun rising as we ride to Seoul.”

She nodded and grinned like a little girl that was given a pony stuffed toy for her present. Her aura made her look innocent and pure as she smiled to me. I can't help but smile myself.

"Yeah" she touched my arm, "and we'll finally be able to leave this place. We could finally be free."

I held her hand that touched my arm, even if it hurts, I held it firmly so that she would feel that I'm here, she's not alone as we went to a new place. Unlike my father, I would make sure that the person I love would feel my presence and feel loved by me.

"You ARE free" I made her remember

She smiled even more as we felt the bus started to move. Ji Eun immediately looked at the window to see if the sun has risen. It was still dark but the sky is now in a battle between the colors, indigo and blue, signaling that the sun will be rising in just a few moments. We were finally in the road as the sun started to give light to the horizon. The orange colors started to invade the sky as it made the darkness go away for another day. I looked at Ji Eun, the sunshine that the sun gave made Ji Eun's face as radiant as the sun. She's beautiful and every second passes by as I looked at her smiling at the window, made her even more beautiful.

"It's beautiful" she smiled as she turned to looked at me. Her eyes sparkle like fire filled with life.

"Yes" I squeezed her hand, "It is beautiful". I meant the word beautiful to her. She's much more captivating that the sun. The sunlight made her a goddess in the mortal world to me. I'm lucky enough to be her servant. She stole my freedom like how she stole my heart years before. 

I rested my head at the comfy chair as she rested hers on my shoulder as she looked outside. I kind of wished I had a camera, a camera that would capture this moment of happiness and contentment in our hands. We finally taste the freedom that we took from the monsters in our past. I closed my eyes as I finally decided to sleep.

The way her hand on mine, her head resting on my shoulder, and the fact that we're leaving this place made me thought that finally maybe life would not with us. Maybe life would now start to become beautiful as we try to find this happy place that we've been searching.

Of course, my instincts told me I was wrong. It told me that Seoul is maybe the perfect place to start a new life but my instincts tells me that another breed of monsters are waiting for us in there; Much more dangerous than our fathers, much more determined to make our life miserable, and more of them than me. What if I couldn't protect Ji Eun from those monsters that might exist in Seoul? What if I'm too weak for them? Would Seoul be infested with people that act like their own monsters? I hope not for the sake of Ji Eun.

The answers are far unpredictable. I just kind of wished I knew what we would face.

Whatever it is.... I know I'll sacrifice everything for Ji Eun, even my life.

Before I knew it, I slept as we drove to Seoul.