~FIND ME A HAPPY PLACE?~
"Dying"

Ji Eun and I began walking again back on the streets. By now, the chest pains are beginning to cloud my head and I began to lose focus. I really do need a doctor right now but the fact that no one would treat my injured body because we lack the money makes me feel miserable.

“You need rest. There’s a motel, nearby” Ji Eun muttered as she help me in walking, “We could resume finding a hospital that would treat you tomorrow”.

I nodded only because I really can’t speak right now because of the pain. Worst case scenario is I have an internal bleeding from the fight I got from that thief. If I did have that kind of fate then I really do need a doctor right now.

My vision became blurry in a way that I feel like sleeping and never waking up would become an excellent solution for this problem. But I shook that thought away because I could not leave Ji Eun like this.

I can’t.

But everything feels as if it would fall into place and I would lose consciousness a minute or two.

“Don’t sleep, Suho!” Ji Eun says in a fearful voice, “You can’t sleep! We’re in the streets and I can’t carry you because you’re heavy. The motel is near. We could rest there but please do not sleep on me now! I-I’m afraid you won’t wake up if you do, Please!”

I could sense her fear and if I ever look at her this time, I knew her eyes are starting to get wet with tears. I have all the knowledge about her and I would like to know more if I ever missed something important about her. But as I began to lose to the pain and the feeling of falling into sleep, I don’t think I don’t have the chance to know more about her anymore.

I felt my legs give up and my left arm slipped from Ji Eun’s shoulders as I fall in the wet pavement. The pain in my chest clouded the pain that I should have felt when my body hit the wet and cold floor.

I heard Ji Eun’s scream in my head as I finally felt my eyes starting to close.

The last thing I saw before sleeping was her face, crying and full of despair. I hate that scenery. I wanted to see her smiling and full of happiness before I die. I wanted to be the one to make her like that but no.

Damn fate for making me the one to cause this agony for her. Damn fate for making me see her crying before I ever leave this place. If I could rewrite our lives, I would have made our life the happiest, especially hers. I would make her be born in a good place with a good family. A family that won’t treat her like a slave and won’t ever hurt her. I would make her have all the things in the world in an instant and make her wishes come to life. I would be there for her, with my mother and my father that didn’t got into depression.

I would have made her life like that if I ever got the chance. I would be there for her, witnessing everything that she does and support her in every way possible. I would make her feel loved and cared because that is what she deserves.

But no. I didn’t get that kind of power to make all of this pain disappear from her life. Maybe now as I die in this cold place, I could ask God if ever I got into heaven how she deserves happiness rather than me.

Maybe God would give way into Ji Eun after my death so that she could find happiness in her own without me. I just wished.. I could be there with her.

I wanted to wipe those tears but the fact that I’m losing consciousness made me feel like giving up.

And to make the matters worse, I didn’t even told her how much I love her.

~FIND ME A HAPPY PLACE?~

At first, when I woke up. I saw everything was white and clean. I tried to look at my surrounding by moving my head from left to right but everything was so bright and white. It made me think if I died and now I’m in heaven.

At first I was happy because I’m finally able to see my mother here. I would finally be able to release myself from all the pain and agony that I felt in my previous world.

But my thoughts remembered about the woman I love that I left.

Ji Eun, I thought.

The thought about her made me even think about her voice calling me again. Her sweet and beautiful voice so gentle and at the same time making my head dizzy with happiness in my heart that could only be hers.

“Suho? Joon Myeon?” I heard her calling my name, “You’re awake! Thank God!”

Then I blinked and finally saw where I am. I’m lying on a bed in a white painted room. The lights made my vision blurry and it made me didn’t see the vase in the edge of the room, the machinery in my left, and the woman who cries beside me.

“Ji Eun?” I asked, “Where am I?”

She smiled and answered, “You’re in a clinic. It’s a good thing that a guy helped me in bringing you here.”

I smiled and said, “I thought I was going to die.”

I saw a tear escape her eyes as she cupped my left cheek with her warm hand, “Good thing you didn’t. My heart would break if you ever die and left me all alone”.

I felt happy as she said that, “I would have asked God to make you happy. Don’t you want that? I could ask Him to let you find your own Happy place.”

She frowned and held my hand, “How could I find my own Happy place if the only person in the world who makes me happy left me? Mmm?”

“I-I thought you would want that.” I say as I stare at her eyes. Her eyes that illuminated my world as I stare right through it. How could this person make me feel as if my whole world depends on her existence?

“What good would it make me if I ever found this Happy place that we’ve been searching for if you die and left me all alone? No matter how big or happy this place would be, it won’t matter if you’re not there to share it with me. I can never lose you, Suho.”

I smile as she said those words. I felt a tear escape my eyes as I look into her gracious features. Her eyes that tell the truth and her lips saying all the words that make me feel happy.

“You’re my guardian, Suho” she said, “You guard me in this dark place that we’re living. You’re my angel”

“Ji Eun, I—“ I was about to tell her how much I love her but I got interrupted by the door, opening.

“Ji Eun! I’m about to close the clinic. I’ was thinking if you would want to go out—Oh!” A guy entered in the room. He was wearing a lab coat and I could tell that this was the one who saved me from dying, “You’re awake! That’s good. It’s my first time treating a person like you so it’s good that I could save lives even with my work.”

I looked at Ji Eun and asked, “First time? He’s not a doctor?”

Ji Eun chuckled and said, “Oh no! I mean yes he’s a doctor.”

The guy smiled and walked towards me.

“Allow me,” he says, “My name is Byun Baekhyun. I’m a veterinarian which means I’m a doctor but I treat animals rather than people. It’s my first time treating a human with a fractured ribcage. So I’m glad that you’re ok”

I smiled back at him and asked, “How long was I out?”

Ji Eun answered, “two days”

“Yes, you were out for about 48 hours now and I must say” Baekhyun blushed, “I’m quite jealous about how your friend here never left this room just for you.”

I felt bad because I’m thankful for Baekhyun for saving my life but I’m starting to want him away from Ji Eun. I have strong feelings about Baekhyun liking Ji Eun and I’m quite curious about what happened when I was out between the two.

“You never left?” I asked Ji Eun.

She blushed and answered, “I-I didn’t”

“Oh” I blushed, “Thank you”

I looked at Baekhyun and said, “Thank you Doctor for helping me.”

He grinned and said, “It was a pleasure.”

Then he dismissed himself by saying that it’s late and he would go back home. He asked Ji Eun if she wanted to go home with him so that she could sleep in a real bed than a small couch in this room.

“Thank you, Baekhyun” she said, “But I have to decline since I have a feeling my friend here needs some help. I have a feeling since he woke up; he’s hungry as a cow by now.”

Baekhyun nodded and bid his goodbye. I noticed his goodbye to Ji Eun and saw his eyes lingered for a second. I saw a glimpse of liking into those eyes and that makes my theory correct.

Dr. Byun Baekhyun likes Ji Eun.

Who’s jealous and starting to get overprotective? Not me. Well… I’m a bit of a liar of myself.