~FIND ME A HAPPY PLACE?~
"Agony"

Ji Eun...

That's the only thing that runs in my head as I try to stand up. A few minutes of desperation of trying to stand up, I finally did it. With a lot of pain in my body, I managed to walk. I grabbed the bag and slung it on my back again. I groaned as I felt pain struck in my abdomen. I slowly walked outside the alley and started to walk in the streets of Seoul. 

I passed by a couple of young woman. They were looking at me and silently whispering something to themselves. I guess my image by now looked like hell. I looked at my appearance in a mirror at this shop I passed by. I saw my face filled with bruises and purple markings. The thief even gave me a cut in the lip and a purple mark on my left cheek. All in all I do look like hell. I bet everyone I pass by that sees me, think that I should go to a hospital.

But I don't want to or even care.

I just need to find Ji Eun. I started to find again the street with the coffee shop we went before. A tip of hope made my heart slightly cheerful. With a lot of pain, I dragged myself to the destination where I might find Ji Eun. I just know that I'll be ok when I'm finally with her again. I'll be fine with her. I just hope she's there.

If not… I don’t know what I would do.

~FIND ME A HAPPY PLACE?~

My heart broke as I saw that no one was there. The coffee shop is now closed since its pass twelve already. Every step made my heart break into a hundred pieces as the silence swept the street where I last saw Ji Eun. I tried to become brave by calling her name.

"JI EUN!" I yelled. I can feel my voice starting to become cracked and dry. I didn't stopped calling her name.

"JI EUN! COME OUT!"

I could not help but a few tears escaped my eyes. The sorrow that I'm feeling makes me want to just curl up and cry because she's not here. Not anymore. This city is such a big place; I may never find her again, Even if I tried but I must try.

"JI EUN!" I cried, "PLEASE! I BEG YOU! COME OUT!"

The agony that I felt made my knees buckle and I just landed on the floor. The bag that is on my back felt heavy and the pain in every part of my body is making it worse. I tried to close my eyes as I started to remember her face, her laugh, her smile, everything about her that I may never see again just because I was careless by leaving her. 

"JI EUN! PLEASE COME OUT! I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU" 

I felt empty as I left that street. I was wrong, she's not there. I left her to retrieve the bag and it’s my entire fault. This is the consequence of leaving her. The consequence that may lead to my sorrow and agony. The most important being in my life is now gone and I know that I can't let her go. I can't move on. I can never move on.

With all the energy that's left of me, I tried to retrace our travel here in Seoul. I went back to the restaurant we ate from earlier. I even asked some people whom I passed by. I asked them if they saw a girl walking alone and described Ji Eun to them. But they didn't saw her. They just looked at me with pity in their eyes. Some of them asked if they could accompany me to the hospital. I really do look like a person who needs to go the hospital.

Then I saw her! I finally ran towards this girl on the street and touched her arm.

“JI EUN!” I yelled almost crying because I finally found her.

As if someone stabbed a knife in my heart, I realized I was wrong. All the happiness that was surging inside me was destroyed when I realized that the woman I just called Ji Eun is not her. A different and confused face turned towards me.

“I’m not Ji Eun” she said.

I felt like crying but I managed to hold it back.

“oh… I’m sorry” I said as I pulled my hand back.

“You need a doctor. You’re badly hurt” she says.

“Thank you but I have to do something” I answered.

"Let me come with you to the hospital" a girl said, "I'll pay for the cab"

I shook my head and just continued to walk to the restaurant. She shouted about me being a fool for not going to the hospital at first because my body would give up because of the fatigue that will happen later. I didn't even thought about giving up first and going to the hospital. I have this feeling if I give up now, I really would never find Ji Eun. I would never be happy with my life.

At last, I finally reached the restaurant. My heart sank because it's closed and no girl is in the vicinity. Ji Eun wasn't there. 

The last hope that's inside of me told me to go to the park. I can feel myself becoming dizzy but I tried to focus on walking to the park. My legs feel like any moment, they would give up again. I could taste the blood in my tongue as I gulped because I'm starting to become thirsty.

Only one thing is in my mind.

Ji Eun.

She's there in that park. I have a strong feeling she's there. I can almost imagine her standing by the park, frowning because I left her. A small smile curved on my lips as I imagined her becoming concerned because I know she cares too much. She's too much precious and she's the last person I know that would help a person without any hidden agendas. She's just.... perfect.

I can't help but feel the heart ache that may happen if she's not there. If she's not there... My fear would become true. A promise would be broken. A promise I said to myself that I would forever be by her side and protect her no matter what. I don't know what would happen to me if I never get to see her again.

"JI EUN!" I cried as I reached the park. No one was in the park, not even a single person. I felt a pang of tears starting to flow on my cheeks again. I felt pathetic as I dragged my body in the park. I tried to yell her name again but the only thing that my voice could manage is a normal cry of her name.

I felt my body gave up as dizziness swept to me. 

Next thing I knew, I was laying on the ground. I couldn't feel my body because of the fatigue that came to my body like lightning. My body felt numb. The last hope I could muster in my heart was gone. She's not here.

I chuckled bitterly as I saw the sky filled with stars. I promised to myself before that I would take her to a place where the stars would be visible. There they are, so bright and many in the dark sky. At least, I did take here and fulfilled at least one promise I made to her. I tried to outline Ji Eun's face in those stars. I imagined her face, her long hair, her eyes that keeps on sparkling every time I see it, her cute nose at the middle, and her beautiful lips. 

I knew just by imagining it will shatter my happiness because of the thought that I'll never be able to see it. I'll never see it in personal but I knew it will forever be in my mind and it will always hunt me. It will always make me remember how my love is not enough for the both of us to be together.

I would never be able to see those lips that smile so bright and carefree to me. 

I would never be able to see those eyes that stare at the world so innocently and wonder even if it's the complete opposite, the world is awful and a living hell for people filled with greed and monstrosities.

But pity me for maybe I will never be able to see those things again.

I wanted to see her again. I would give up everything I had just to see her again, to held her hand again, and hear her voice. I cried even more because I really wanted to hold her. I wanted to stay by her side and be there forever but I can't. She's gone. I could not find her. 

I felt my heart dying a thousand times as I finally gave up and just lay there, bruised and tired. A forced smile was formed on my face as I remember the time when I found out that I love her.