~FIND ME A HAPPY PLACE?~
"Flower"

A single memory that filled my heart both happiness and sadness.

~FLASHBACK~

It was summer. Ji Eun and I are now friends. We were walking by the street as we finally managed to buy groceries. We walked side by side as we talked about things. She's saying something about a movie that she watched. 

"..It was beautiful. The way that they married in the end even if the girl has leukemia." she says.

I frowned, "So the girl died. That's awful!"

Her brows furrowed and she pouted, "It's romantic! The guy made all the wish list of the girl come true before she died. He made her happy even if he knows she's going to die."

"But still!" I exclaimed, "She died. The girl left him and its stinks! He couldn't do anything to protect her and save her life!"

"Yes, it’s true. But the fact that he made her happy is the sweetest thing in the world! Making sure that the woman you love being happy until the end is the sweetest and romantic thing a guy could do."

I thought about how true what she said but it’s wrong.

"He should have done something to make her live more." I said.

"She accepted her faith, Joon Myeon. She knows she's going to die." she told me.

I sighed in defeat as I said, "Ok. Ok. You're right. It is sweet and everything but I'm going to tell you something."

"What?" she asked.

"I'm going to be different. I'm going to protect the woman I love until the end. I'm going to make sure that somehow. She won't end up dead and not beside me. I'm going to do everything I can for her to be happy and safe from any harm that may come to her. If I had to fight fate or destiny all by myself; I'll do it just to fulfill this promise to myself." I said proudly to her.

She only said that she'll be there to watch everything I’ll do for the woman I love.

"She's out there. I know it and I can feel it. The moment I get to know her, I'll be making sure she will never be out of my sight."

She laughed and joked about me being a goofy teenager.

I was going to retort something back to her but she gasped and held my hand. She dragged me to this small flower shop on the street.

"Look Joon Myeon! They're beautiful!" She said as she scanned the flowers. They were many flowers and all of it has different colors like red, yellow, pink, orange and many other more. I stood there as I saw how Ji Eun crouched down just to look at a group of flowers.

I didn't understand back then why I felt these tingles in my stomach. I couldn't even look at the flowers anymore because my eyes are glued to the girl that’s keeps on giggling and looking at the flowers. The way her laugh felt music to my ears and the way her lips curved into a smile made me breathless. It made me realize how blind I am for not seeing her in his kind of way. Of course I thought about how Ji Eun is turning into a beautiful young lady but the way she laughed this time, it made my heart want to burst with happiness.

"She's beautiful" I whispered.

She must have heard me say something because she looked at my direction and asked if I said something.

"N-nothing. I said nothing." I defended.

She shrugged and took a pink flowered and showed it to me, "It's beautiful, Joon Myeon. I've never seen something so beautiful yet innocent at the same time."

Like you?

Then a thought swept my mind, she’s the one. 

She's the one I will protect. She's the innocent girl I will forever love and protect from harm.

"GET OUT OF THERE!" an angry voice came towards us, "DON'T TOUCH MY FLOWERS IF YOU"RE NOT GONNA BUY IT!" 

A woman around her 50's came with a broom stick in her hands. She almost attacked Ji Eun but I intervened by covering her with my back. She even hit my right cheek but good thing I faced my back on her. I felt pain on my back as the broom hit me. I heard Ji Eun scream that the woman would stop. She didn't.

The only solution for this is for me to buy a flower.

"I'll buy one! STOP HITTING ME WITH YOU'RE BROOM!" I shouted. A moment later she stopped hitting me from behind.

I asked Ji Eun if she's okay and if she got hit with the broom. She was teary eyed but managed to shake her head. 

I stood up and helped her to stand up also. We were greeted by the old lady with a frown as if she didn't want us to see or talk to us. I wanted to say to her that the meeting is mutual. She raised her palm.

"How much is a flower?" I asked.

"It's 10 bucks."

I frowned even more because a flower costs 10 bucks!? It's unfair and very much overpriced but I had to.

"Here" I said as I gave her the money. She snickered and told us to pick a flower and get lost.

I turned my head to Ji Eun and told her to pick one.

She shook her head and asked if I was all right.

"I'm all right. Just pick one and let's go home." I smiled. That pain is now gone because the way that the old lady hit me before is not that strong.

She nodded and picked a flower. It's a flower that she told earlier that's beautiful and innocent at the same time. Just like her, beautiful and innocent in this cruel world.

We walked away from the shop. I looked at her and I was expecting for her to smile but she wasn’t, she’s frowning. It made me feel sad inside of me.

“Why are you frowning?” I asked, “Don’t you like the flower? We could trade it for another one.”

She looked at me and shook her head. She stopped walking and so did I. she held the flower in her right hand and she did something that made me fall in love with her even more.

She cupped my cheek, the cheek where the old woman hit me before. It hurts a little but when she touched it, it felt warm and my stomach is doing something good yet weird at the same time. She cupped it so careful and gently. All I did was look into her eyes, searching for answers about what she is doing. All I could see is concern and sadness in her eyes.

“What are you doing?” I asked in a soft voice.

She kept on looking at me while cupping my cheek. I didn’t know why but my cheek started to lean to the hand that’s touching it.

“You’re hurt.” She said, “I’m sorry.”

I held her hand that is cupping my cheek, admiring the softness and smooth skin she has.

“You don’t have to say sorry. I did it because I have to. I’ll protect you from now on.” I said.

She smiled and raised the flower she’s holding.

“I want you to have it.”

My eyes widened because I could not accept that. It’s hers. I told her that it’s okay and she doesn’t need to give the flower back to me.

“But I want to—“

I cut her off by saying, “It’s yours. A beautiful lady should always have a beautiful flower because it’s their symbol. A flower is just like every woman in the world, beautiful, delicate and innocent at the same time; just like you.”

She smiled even more and nodded, “Thank you, Joon Myeon.”

“You’re welcome.” I smiled back.

After that we walked together. Moments later we had to go to our separate ways, since the both of us both lived in different places. I had to go home to my house with a drunken father to feed; While she had to serve her family.

“Goodbye, Joon Myeon. I really want to thank you for the flower. It’s… sweet.” I blushed at what she said. I started to rub the back of my neck.

“It’s nothi—“ I was cut off by her, placing a kiss in my left cheek, the part where the old lady hit me before. I stood there, frozen as my eyes followed her back walking away from me.

That’s when I realized that I was a goner. My heart fell for this woman. I thought about what I said to her about the flowers that she’s exactly like that because she’s beautiful, delicate and innocent at the same time. I thought about my new feelings for her.

This attraction or maybe even be called love, I don’t know.

This feeling I have for her is not entirely like a flower. My feelings towards her are beautiful and innocent yet I have a feeling it would be timeless, a characteristic that a flower doesn’t have. A flower may wither and die but I have a feeling my… love for this woman will never even cease to wither and die.

She’s the person I just told her, I will love and protect.

~END OF FLASHBACK~

The memory of that promise made me find this strength inside of me that I thought was gone already. I slowly flipped my body, my front is laying at the ground while my hands are trying to push my body to the ground to make me seat. I groaned in pain as my face hit the dirty ground because my arms failed to raise me up.

Ji Eun

If I failed the first trial then I’ll do it the second time. I’ll do it every time I fail until I finally succeed. The second try finally made me seat on the ground. I pushed back the tears forming in my eyes and thought that crying would never solve my problems. I had to make a move.

I had to try to find her again. I had to.

A few minutes later, I stood up. My legs wobbled a little but it’s okay. I could still handle the pain. I took the bag and finally slung it on my back again; ignoring the pain and weight it gave me. I took a step forward and just started to find her again.

“JOON MYEON! SUHO!” a voice screamed behind me. I could not believe it at first because I thought it’s just my imagination trying to make me remember her voice inside of me. I turned my back and saw a figure in the dark.

A figure that looked like a woman standing in the dark.

“Ji Eun?”

I blinked just to make sure I was not hallucinating or anything. She walked forward and I felt myself crying as I saw her face. The light at the light post made me able to see that beautiful face. I could see that she’s been crying just like me because of her red and puffy eyes. I felt my hand dropped the bag that was on my back a few seconds ago.

I felt tears escape my eyes as I started to walk towards her. A few walks but it turned into a desperate run as I tried to come close to her. She also ran towards me and we hugged each other as our bodies met.

The feeling of her hugging me felt so unreal. Moments ago, I thought I would never be able to hug her again like this. I would never be able to hear my name from again. I would never be able to see her again.

And now here she is.

“Stupid Suho!” she cried, “You forgetful stupid person! How could you leave me like that? You know I could not go after you since I’m slower when it comes to running! Stupid! Stupid!”

I smelled her aroma again, it felt good. We were both crying in the middle of the night, at a park that is now empty since it’s late. I hugged her tight and just cherished the moment that she’s here in my arms and she’s safe.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry” I beg, “I would never leave you like that again. I’m sorry”

She nodded as she buried her face in my chest. I felt some wetness in my shirt, she’s crying just like me.

Then I saw something at the shadows, a wild pink flower. Just like the flowers when I first realized my love for this woman. It’s on the ground as it slowly waves to the wind. It kept on waving and the amazing part is its petals never join the wind. It just swayed and danced to the wind.

For the first time we went here, I felt hope again in my life.

I began hoping that we would be able to find our happy place here, A happy place that will be our home together.