Raindrops fell on her head.

More raindrops fell on her head.

It spilled down on her face.

And her tears hang.

She opened the door slowly only to find that Kris was standing five feet in front of her. He had his arms cross. He had his eyes fixed on her. He had a firmed, and disappointing expression displayed on his face.

He was unhappy.

Kris was unhappy with Sojung.

Sojung tried to smile but Kris cut her off.

"I texted you, didn't you see my message," Kris asked, but as unpleased with her as he would there was no exclamation mark at the end of his sentence. That was what Sojung admired of him. He had control over his emotion.

Of course she saw his text. It said "Its gonna be raining later, I know you didnt bring an umbrella... just tell me your location and I'll drive by to pick you up."She just didn't want to bother him.

Kris face expression suddenly soften upon seeing her hair dripping droplets down.

He looked less disappointed but he grew more weary and tired looking at her taking her shoes off.

His crossed arm slided down.

"I'm sorry. I'll go warm up the food, just go dry up," he headed in the kitchen.

Sojung watched his back disappear into the room. She turned her head and went to talk a hot shower.

 

Her body was dry now. She put on pajama.

Her hair was wet. So she put a white towel on her shoulders.

Someone mopped the puddles that she made.

Someone always been cleaning up after her. Someone deserved more than an apologetic 'sorry'. Someone deserved more than a sincere 'thank you'.

It like a habit, a bad happy, her smile. She always found herself smiling at the thoughts of that someone.

It always the same subtle smile whenever Kris saw her. She really didn’t know what else to do with herself but smile.

"The food looks delicious," commented Sojung with a smile on her face.

She took a seat in front of him.

Kris nodded.

"It will rain all week, make sure you bring an umbrella starting tomorrow," Kris advised.

Sojung avoided his strong gaze.

"Um huh," she nodded as she swallowed down her half chewed food.

“Eat more vegetable,” Kris told her. He picked various stream veggies and placed them gently on the top of her white rice.

She made a face, and glared at him. “I don’t like vegetable,” Sojung mumbled like a five year old child.

Kris shrugged effortlessly. His action was neither an encouragement nor a discouragement. It was just how Kris was.

At times Sojung wondered if he really listened to everything she had been saying. It seemed like his head was in the cloud most of the time.

But when she thought about it, she didn’t have a right to criticize him.

She was just like him. Up there, on the clouds, imagining the playful, yet genuine conversations that they never had. And whenever she was not day dreaming, she would space out.

Sojung would space out.

But she ended up eating them anyways, to make him happy.

When was it again. When did it start.

All she knew was it wasn’t yesterday or the day before yesterday, neither was it last month or last year.

When was it again, when did it start?

She started to appreciate the silence. Her mind was adapting to it. It conditioned her to spoke less thoughts than it used to. Her mind though, was loud and chaotic as ever.

When was it started.

When did the silence became so bearable.

More soothing,

and comfortable in a sense.

Yes, that’s right.

Comfortable. And

Tranquil, on the surface.

She was getting more comfortable dealing with the uncomfortableness. And little did she knew, he was too. And perhaps he was always been like that,

Kris was.

“Goodnight,” Kris told her as they separated in the hallway.

Kris entered his room and closed it behind him with a soft thug.

Thug was the sound Sojung’s door.

“Goodnight,” she said a small voice to noone in particular.

That was the problem with Sojung and Kris,

That was the problem with doors.

Once the door is locked, it’s hard to guess with it covered up inside.

Their doors were never opened at the same time. It was either one open and the other one close.

Her chest was tight by the loneliness and despair. It felt as if she had experienced the pain multiple times before. The same place where it wounded yesterday had not yet healed, and now it was reopening.

She was becoming more resilient to the pain.

 

“Good morning Sojung,” Kris voiced echoed through her mind. “Goodmorning,” he repeated bright and energetic.

It felt as if Sojung only slept for a second.

Her only motivation to sleep though was him, she wanted to hear his warm familiar voice greet her good morning. He always did it. He had never missed a day.

She used to it. She was getting so used to him being there.

It was almost like she depended on him on saying those things to her.

The sweetest words he had always told her, good morning Sojung.

He didn’t need to say those words. It was just a friendly routine. But Sojung accidentally took it to her heart. It was the only words that Kris could said to her without his subtle smile.

His simple words done more effects than he could ever able to understand.

Those words lighten her world.

Natural.

Steadily.

Step by step.  

She forgot all her worries and all her doubts.

Natural, weightlessly, but breathfuly she smiled. The birds chirped kind melodies announcing the dawn was coming.

Sojung got out of bed with much lighter mood than how she went to sleep with.

Unlike Jessica who used to always be so grumpy when she woke up.

Sojung was a morning person. Early bird catches the worms.

According to Jessica early worms die.

Jessica got that quote from her favorite drama she watched. Jessica used to like remembering quotes from dramas, books, poems and such.

Sojung thought that was why she remembered things that they say too much. It was genetic.

Remembering too much was hereditary.

Thinking too much was not.

Overthinking was a part of Sojung’s personality.

Jessica, negative in the morning, positive and talkative around noon to afternoon, carefree at night.

Sojung, positive in the morning, average around noon and afternoon, extremely reflective and sentimental at night.

 

Sojung realized she caught a cold.

was sore and her head felt feverish.

“I’m sick,” Sojung announced as soon as she entered the kitchen.

“I can tell,” Kris told her. No explanation was needed.

Her voice gave her out. It was as easy as 1,2, and 3.

“You’re not worried,” Sojung asked gazing up to him. “about me?”

Kris remained silence, but his movement gave out hesitation. When looked closely Sojung discovered he had badges under his eyes. He looked tired as if he didn't get adequate sleep last night either.

Kris opened his mouth to sigh, but instead he let it out slowly. His lips parted into a small smile.

He continued to maintain eyes contact with her.

Brown, the similar shade of eyes Jessica had.

They were blooded sister. Their eyes very much identical. It pained his heart.

Breaking away, he shook his head.

“Were you about to sigh?” Sojung asked.

No reply.

It was understood.

Sojung felt pathetic for asking such a rhetorical question.

“It’s okay,” Sojung comforted looking at his turned back, “Jessica hated when people sigh at her because it made her felt like they were giving up on her. It’s okay to sigh in front of me. I’m Sojung.”

People gave up on her a lot.

Tears hang on her eyes.

She was getting a hang of it. Or so she thought.

Tears were on the verge of fallen.

Self enforcing and pure torturing were the only things that kept them from dropping.

“I’m Jung Sojung, when you say it backward it Jung Sojung. And it still Jung Sojung when you say it forward. Jung Sojung, Jung Sojung.”

Not a sigh.

Not a word.

Silence elapsed.

Silence took over.

Silence roared.

The silence died when Sojung rushed and hugged his waist from behind.

Kris grasped and held onto his breath for the longest time.

And then he sighed.

Tears dropped, stained the back of his shirt.

And tears fallen.

It only hurt a heart.

It only hurt one heart.

Her heart.

D.O was right.

She was a mess.