Johor Bharu, Johor, Malaysia

Elyssa plays with her beautiful hands while she was waiting nervously for the person she is calling to pick up the phone.

If she didn’t think about the promise she made last two nights she won’t be in this haggard situation. She exhales her breath she never even realize she was holding when her call answered by a programmed voice at the end of the line. 

Well, it was not her fault if he didn’t answer his phone right? She has played her part, dialing his number which seem much harder than she ever thought. It’s not like she never dialed a man’s phone number before. But with him everything seems new. To her defense, not every day you afford to call a world star.

She put away her phone and starts doing her chores; tidying up her room, doing laundry that has been postponed for the whole week, and continues completing her thesis. Last week has been horrible for her. Losing two of her best friends, really takes a toll on her. One is Nina who had passed away, and the other is Shamill, who seems so distant right now. No more silly jokes from him. His existence is only for basic duty.

She understood that he needs time to heal his shattered heart, but still simple gesture of he actually trying to be better is good enough for her. Currently he looks like he’s completely given up his life. As if there’s no meaning to live his life anymore. And that what broke Elyssa’s heart even more. Since she felt like she had lost him.

***

She was in the bathroom, scrubbing her bath tub when she heard her phone rings. She didn’t have to wonder who the caller is since she has set a personal ringtone for him.

“Hello, why didn’t you pick up your phone just now?”

She asks him without giving him the chance to speak. But then, she halted. The noise at the background of him doesn’t indicate a good sign.

“Are you working right now?” she asks again when he didn’t say a thing. She can only hear his deep breath; inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale and the silence almost deafening. She really hopes he will answer yes, because the other possibility of him being in a noisy surrounding other than his work is something she didn’t like, and she would never like it.

Suddenly she heard him sobbing; soft sobs, as if he’s been hurting. But she can’t think any events that could hurt him happen lately. There’s no rumor about problems in his relationship with Tiffany and as far as she know, his comeback has been quite a successful event.

They just landed from their last country of their tour, which is Japan. And she can’t wait to watch Immortal Song where Minjun featuring in it just after landed from Japan which will be air on the next two days. So there’s really no reason why he will be sad.

Waiting for him to answer that simple question feels like eternity for her.

He’s still sobbing. And his sobs grew louder. Elyssa become panic. She can’t do anything with her at the end of the world like this, can she?

“Hey, hey. What happened? Why are you like this? At least talk to me please. So I can understand.” Elyssa tried to coax him, but he’s still like that. So Elyssa decide to wait until he is ready to spill out everything.

***

Seoul, South Korea

His last conversation with her left him hanging. And the jealousy he’s trying to curb is killing him. It just grew stronger and haunts his daily live. So tonight he decided to do something he hasn’t been doing for so long already; go clubbing and get laid.

Ever since he met her, clubbing doesn’t seem so interesting anymore. And those desperate es he met at the club can no longer bring his mood. He has been keeping everything to himself for so long and all the emotional and ual frustration needs to be released somehow.

So today he drives his sports car towards the most popular night club in Hongdae, the one he always visit previously.

As soon as he steps into the club, every pair of lady’s eyes fall on him with hope and lust. Also some of guy eyeing him, most probably hoping he would swing their way, but it’s not going to happen. He was as straight as an arrow.

So he sits on a stool at the bar and ordered his favorite; Blue Hawaiian. Strong booze to calm down the storm in his heart, and will booze him enough not to think about her when he’s getting laid later.

After having two shots of his drink, he aims toward the stage; to sway his body and drop his problems and his worries. Hoping everything will magically burn away, lost with his sweats that dripping like a rain from his muscular body.

Two ladies sandwiched him at that time, groping whatever they can, and rub their bodies against his. Hoping they will be the lucky one to get him tonight. Even for just one time, just one night, it was more than enough.

He didn’t realize his phone been buzzing. He was so absorbed having fun with those ladies, under alcohol influence. His judgment state is not clear currently, he is driven by his lust not his mind.

One thing for sure, he’s going to regret not picking up his phone.

One of the ladies drags him outside to the back alleys of the club, while eating each other’s face. They can’t keep their hands to themselves. They keep feeling and groping, bursting the flames that been burning in their young heart.

His lips has come down to her jaw, giving her butterfly kisses that was supposed to make her moan and turn him even more but somehow, her moan not giving him the right feeling. They sound dull and fake. In fact those moans turn off all of the feeling his feeling from inside the club. Then he halted.

“What exactly wrong with him?” he thought to himself.

That lady open her shut eyes and look at Khun with disappointment.

“Wae? Am I not y enough for you?” She asks him and try to kiss him again.

Khun just turns his head sideways, rejecting her kiss.

“Well, it your loss.” She said stomping her feets away from him, while tidying up her dress which has become a mess while they were making out just now.

There, Khun was left alone with sad realization of what has happened to him.

He has fallen in love. He has fall deep and this pit he has fallen there’s no ending to it and there’s no way out.

He fish out his phone from his back pocket and he saw the call he missed just now.

Then he impulsively do the thing he will regret most the first thing in the next morning. Drunk dialed the person he’s in love with and ramble the most stupid thing in his life.   

***

Johor Bharu, Johor, Malaysia

He’s still like that. Moping around being sad and thinking he’s the only victim in the world. It’s not like Elyssa didn’t understand how much pain there is when we are losing someone. Moreover it was someone he really loves, the other half of him. 

But still, even though the phrase “the living must continue living on”, no one can deny how true it is. Being the left one is always the hardest part but the thing is you need to embrace yourself and moving on. This is what she’s been trying to tell him however, he was so engulf in his sadness until his ears and beautiful eyes become blocked. Can’t listen or see what life holds for him. 

And it also affects Elyssa. She can’t focus with his work. Not until she makes sure herself, that her beloved friend is ready to live his life again.

So she took another leave; to visit her mourning friend. 

***

Sibu Island Resort, Mersing, Johor

His sad broad back is what greets his best friend when she first arrives at the beach.

He was sitting there, all alone scanning through the beauty in front of his eyes. He watches as the waves hitting the beach and retreating back to the ocean calming his storming, raging heart. Without thinking his tears just races down his cheeks.

He didn’t even realize she was there, taking the seat beside him. She just sat there silently, joining him who was absorbed watching the waves, ocean and the orange shade at the end of the ocean as the sunset.  

“I really hope you can be like the beach. Always there waiting patiently for the waves even they know waves always leave; I hope you always be there for me although I always push you away in my hard times.”

He suddenly speaks. But Elyssa not sure who he is talking to; from the description, he was most likely not talking to her.

So Elyssa keeps quiet, waiting for his next phrases.

“But how can you be like the beach when you leaves me all of sudden and give me the hardest time of my life…??” 

There, the tone, that voice, the hurts he felt. Finally he was ready to share his feelings instead of being mad to every living thing that appears in his visual field.

“What should I do Elyssa? She’s everywhere. Wherever I turn I see her, when I close my eyes I heard her voice, when I sleep I dream of her and even now, I am looking at the beach but I can see her at end of the horizon. I want to reach to her but I know better. This is my memory playing my heart who misses her too much.”

Elyssa nods her head. She knows how hard and overwhelming the war in her friend’s heart is. Reality is cruel most of the times.

Shamill tries his best to be strong. This fate that is against him is so cruel. He realizes that he will not be tested beyond his capability; that he can assure himself. But the pain is almost unbearable. He might lost his best friend in the process due to venomous word he spat toward her in his grievance.

Losing his other half is hard, but he certainly cannot cope if he lost his valuable part of him; Elyssa. She’s always be the one who can calm his raging heart other than Nina; his fiancée.

“It is not like I want to forget her quickly, but I despise the fact I love her too much that the pain is still the same even she has left for so long already. I know it is about time for me to find another “her” but she is still there; occupying my whole heart. What should I do Elyssa?”

Elyssa just watches his face as he rambles. Elyssa nods her head, trying to understand and think the best words to calm him down.

“Hey there, go easy on yourself. She’s not left for that long, it was just what, 2, 3 months? You have every right to still be sad about it. And nobody expect you to be mingling around to find another “her” already. And it is a fact that she is irreplaceable.”

He directs his eyes toward her. There, the quality of her he always love. Understanding but still, she won’t let him wander. There must be advice at the end of her sentence that can help him boost his spirit to move on. So he sat there, patiently waiting for the encouraging words from her.

“But, as much as I hate to say this, this current state you were in, the dysfunctional you were what we don’t want you to become. We need the productive you to continue on saving lives. You know where you cut someone open, fix them up and change their lives. Did you remember? Those moments of adrenaline rush?”

She tries her best to be casual about it. Not too demanding yet not too soft. She needs just right amount of sturdiness to bring him back to where he left off. Not too much because it will make him run away further.

He nods his head. Thinking about the things she said. All this while he didn’t give her the chance to. And he glads she’s not giving up on him.

***

Kuantan, Pahang, Malaysia/ Kluang, Johor, Malaysia

“Hello Assalamualaikum, Cik Jah. It’s me Rina, Shamill’s mother.”

Mrs Rina greets Mrs Khadijah on the phone. She wants to discuss something important regarding their children. And she feels like this is the best solution for both families and both of their children. This thing can’t be postponed anymore. His hurt son needs to be cured.

“Yes, oh how are you? I am sorry for your lost, Nina such a nice kid. I hope you dealing well with this test.” Mrs Khadijah pities their family. Having the perfect daughter-in-law to be is not an easy thing. But she has to be taken away in the most tragic way, so sudden. It must be a big test for them.

“Yes, I can say my family and I handle it pretty well. The sad thing is my son not seems to be in the same boat as us.” Mrs Rina tried her best not to sound pushy over the thing she would suggest them to do later.

“I understand. It must be hard for him to accept this sudden accident. It was like what, a year to their wedding? I think most of the preparation must have been done right? And the fact that he loves her too much also not making it easy, for them to be separated in such a manner. You must cut him some slack Rina.” Mrs Khadijah tries her best to ease down Mrs Rina’s heart.

She understands how shattered Rina’s heart must be seeing his own son succumbed like that.

“Well, I do understand his situation. But in current situation, he’s in the age that perfect for marriage and starting over now might be difficult for him……” Mrs Rina continues, but she hesitates for a while. Is it too much for her to ask this? She thought, but she has to try her luck. Other than Elyssa she can’t think anyone else decent enough to be her daughter in law and able to match his son’s crazy mind.

“And, what are you trying to say now Rina? Anything I can help you with?” Mrs Khadijah ask as polite as possible, even she didn’t like where this discussion heading.

“Well, I know this might be too much to ask of you, but honestly I love your daughter as much I love my son. And they understand each other to the point they the only person who can soothe their stormy hearts and I think they perfect for each other.” Mrs Rina finish her sentence in one breath, afraid if she hesitates further, her wish wouldn’t be conveyed successfully.

Mrs Khadijah keeps her silence for a moment, thinking. Well, Rina actually has a point there. Their children already so close to each other, understand each other well and tolerate each other well. As crazy that boy might be, her daughter also one of headache. And Shamill is the only person whose able to tame her.

Mrs Khadijah also worried about Elyssa who never even once brought her boyfriend home. Until when should she wait for a son-in-law? She began to sway.

“Has you asks your son’s opinion about this? As much as I love him as my own, I don’t want him to feels like he was being pushed to marry Elyssa. You know, they love each other but not that way that we are hoping for.”

“Well, I never bring this up previously. I just want to make sure you are okay with this arrangement first before I asks him. Then he will have less a reason to objects. The thing is I am afraid he will take too long to recover and then it will be hard for him to restart.” Mrs Rina answers honestly.

“Yes, I understand and I would love to have him as my family member. But still I need to consult Elyssa as she is the one who will be living with him later right? Why don’t we do like this, we ask our children regarding their opinion about this. Then we will decide later, okay?” Mrs Khadijah giving the final solution.

Mrs Rina nods and agrees. At least there is something she can do for her hurting son.

***