Johor Bharu, Johor, Malaysia

It was like every other day for Elyssa; waking up before dawn, went to work, starts her morning rounds, teaching all those new house officers how to be a safe doctor, and all.

It was supposed to be another boring and dull day for Elyssa and the whole hospital staffs; but it is not. It has to be today; the day her bestfriend’s happiness snatched away from him; the day she would see her best friend ever succumbed to grievance.

The first reaction of his is smiles, calmly, or should she put it as bitterly. He just sat there, stares into blank space and with tears running down his cheeks. When the staff nurse who works with him at the clinic saw his unusual response after answering the call she immediately call her down to clinic. She was then rushes to the clinic where she knew he would be in and she frozen there looking at him.

Second reaction of him was anger and denial. He could not digest and accept the fact that his beloved fiancée was now gone. So he stood up and crashes everything in his sight. She never seen so much angst seeps out from this sweet creature. All this time she has known him, he was far from violence. He was never a short tempered person. And he was always sweet with his words and action.

So, Elyssa asks the staff nurse to go somewhere safe. Fortunately they didn’t ask many questions though.

Third reaction from him was grievance and acceptance. As much she tries to console him, comfort him, mend his broken heart, he just sat there, on the exact chair he had been when he first heard the news, from his soon to be mother-in-law but no, fate just had to play him. His beloved fiancée died tragically.

“Hey there sweetie pie.”

Elyssa tries to communicate with him when he somehow less furious about everything. But he just sat there without any replies. Usually he would strike her as he didn’t like being called by stupid nicknames. It seems like he has detached himself from the world. He has become apathy.

So Elyssa steps further and sit across him; assessed him in and out, physically, mentally and emotionally. He starts to calm down. His tear just now has dried up.

“Shamill talk to me, please. You know I am here for you aren’t you?” she voices out again. Unable to stay put seeing her best friend like this.

“I know, but she wasn’t here anymore. I can’t see her beautiful smile nor can I listen to her melodious voice anymore.” he spits it out, slowly, almost inaudible whispering before his tears race down his cheeks, again. His sobs turning even more violence. His shoulder shakes violently with his sobs.

And it broke her heart. No, heartbroken was an understatement since her heart shattered into pieces when she sees her best friend, one of the most treasured person of hers being so vulnerable and fragile over the sad news he just heard. His fiancée involved in a traffic accident and unfortunately she died on the scene.

Looking at how bad his sob has become, she almost reaches out her hands and hug him. It’s the only comforting and safest way to calm a broken heart. The best she knows of. But she knows better, that they’re not allowed to touch each other without a proper bond. So she tries her best to restraint herself from doing the forbidden.

The fact that she’s so heartbroken seeing the person she loves becoming like this; she was not strong enough to face consequences if she ever crossed the line.

So, in the end she just sits there in silence. Ready to listen to whatever her best friend would want to rant while offering tissue to the other.

***

Seoul, South Korea

2PM members have been practicing, when Khun felt sudden dull throbbing ache over his chest. He clutched his shirt, and stops dancing. Chansung was the first one to notice. He rushes towards Khun.

“Hey hyung, are you okay there?”

He asks, full of concern.

Khun just squats there, waiting for the pain to subside. He nods his head several times, facing Channie with a big smile; reassuring him and other members that he was okay. Nope, scratch that. he is okay although he himself aren’t sure as to why he felt this sudden pain.

He didn’t have heart disease and there’s no history of heart disease in his family, as far as he knows.

So, why is it? That was a question he himself didn’t have the answer.

They continue practicing since they have to perform another 2 or 3 days in Japan.

But the fact that Minjun not even once throws glance at him when others are busy worried over him is serious. Minjun not behaving like himself. And he did much more mistakes than he usually would done. It must be Ailee he’s thinking right now.

He has been better before, although he knew his hyung is not really better; but at least he able to concentrate in his work. But now something is bothering him again, he notice his hyung becoming like this after their performance for Music Bank. At that time Minjun disappear for a while. He guess his hyung went and meet her. Coincidently she also having her debut at that time, I’ll Show You was her title song and he swears, the song is y as hell; innocent yet y, something that describe Ailee perfectly.

He didn’t really know what they are talking about but since then, he became depressed again. Maybe Ailee did choose GO again like the ending in her song, maybe that’s why. But he didn’t really sure. And their late night talk the other day didn’t really let he know anything further, anything other than Minjun is handling this matter. And his hyung will come to him if he ever needs it. But right now he can see, his hyung trying to keep a safe distance between him and Ailee is eating him, inside out.

His hyung will soon exhausted with this choice he made. And Khun could only prays that this obstacle his hyung facing right now will fade away. Cause as the pillar of the group, his hyung need to be strong.

Khun himself started to exhaust. He never knew loving one sidedly will be this painful. He never was at this end of one sided love since he was always at the receiving love side. Honestly, who wouldn’t love him? He’s a complete package of a husband material.

He grins at his so narcissistic thoughts.

He wonder, how can Minjun do this for a whole 2 years now, watching his love of his life loving some other guy, his best friend on top of that. While him already at the verge of his end when he just do this for a mere what, 5-6 months.

The difference is, Minjun can see Ailee whenever he misses her but he can’t. Elyssa is so far away and their relationship is not like the one Minjun had with Ailee. Elyssa is not attached to him. Elyssa is one independent lady who organized her life well, manage all her problem well.

When he thought of that, it has been a long, long time since he last talk to her. He needs to listen to her voice, he misses her, too much that he almost suffocated like he didn’t have enough air to breath.

So he picked up his phone, walking toward the balcony of his apartment, and grab his cardigan on his way out of his room that night. The silence of the night makes him counts, the seconds go by while he waits for her to picks up her phone.

But he was shocked when he was greeted by sobs of her at the end of the line when she finally did.

***

Kepala Batas, Pulau Pinang. / Seoul, South Korea.

Elyssa takes 2 days emergency leave and 2 days of her annual leave to attend her housemate/best friend fiancée burial ceremony. The house was surrounded by grievance and cries. The sad look on Aunt Anila made her heart bleed. So, she gives her a reassurance hug; that everyone in this world will die eventually. The pain she feeling now will subside and fade away, but it need some time.

As time goes by the pain will lessen and everything will be easier.  She just have to believe and stay strong, for herself and her other child.

As magic as it works, her warm hug did soothe Aunt Anila’s broken heart. However, the pain she felt since she also lost a good friend, have to see her best friend in vulnerable state and having to see Nina’s family who feels like her own since they are so close since her study days is unbearable. She already put upfront for so long until she can’t hold it anymore.

She’s on the verge of crying, so she excuses herself. She went out and sits on a bench in the garden at the backyard, a safe, secluded place so her cries won’t be witnessed by anyone. She refused to be seen in this state, she needs to be strong; for Nina’s family and for her best friend, Shamill.

Her tear race down her cheeks when her phone suddenly vibrating, indicating a call was waiting to be answered. She didn’t bother to look at the caller ID and answer the phone straight away, trying to curb her sobs from be heard by whoever at the end of the other line.

“Hello,” sobs,

And she fails miserably. The pain and the hurts she felt just too big to be held. And that was the last thing she wants to add in her worry list; others worry about her.

And as she thought, the person at the end of the line sounds so panic.

“Hey baby, what happened to you? Where are you? I’ll come to you right now.” He said.

And as she recognized the angelic voice, it made her chuckles a little. It feels funny. How can he come right now when he’s currently at the other end of the world. And it was like he got nothing better to do other than calming the storm in her heart.

And she didn’t know either why she’s felt good that there is someone out there who actually cares for her. Even though she perfectly knows it is impossible to him to fly to her immediately right now, but it was thought that count. The fact that he was willing to fly across the world just to console her shattered heart was enough to make her feel a little bit better. That there was someone care enough for her.

“Hey silly, can you calm down please? I am perfectly fine here, it just that I lost my housemate in a traffic accident and she happened to be my best friend fiancée. And currently I am trying my best to get him back to his feet while trying to keep her mother sane enough for her family.”

Elyssa did try her best to sound okay when she was actually crying heavily.

“Yah, how could you sound so…….”

Khun hesitates for a while, trying to find the best word to describe how she sounded right now. She did cries that he knows. But the way she choose her words and arrange her sentence as if she was unaffected at all from the lost. She lost one of her good friend God damn it. How she could sound so calm over it?

“………..”

Elyssa crying silently; holding on so that her sobs wouldn’t be heard by Khun. because she is 100% sure he would fly across the country to get her if he heard her sad cries. She hold her breath for couple of second to stop her cries. It was easier to control her sobs then rather than when she is crying like this.

“…………”

“Elyssa baby,” Khun voices out after a long silence engulfing their phone call conversation.

“I think I need to go there and see it for myself that you are okay, you are alright.” He said, full with determination.

“Hey pabo. You have your own schedule right. Furthermore, how would you find me if I don’t give you my address? Just stay there where you are, do your best where you shine the most and be happy. I’ll call you if I need anything okay?” she tries her best to sound as cheerful as possible, so that he will calm down.  

Khun just sighed heavily as he realized every word she said is true. He never knew where she is right now. He only knew her address from what she gives her that last time they meet before the part away at the airport.

And now he regret to why didn’t he asked her where she works and so on and so forth.

He grabs the rail at his balcony tight, so tight that his knuckles turn white.

“Hmm, ara, but promise me one thing. You. Will. Call. Me. You got that?”

He tries his best to make her promise this one thing.

“Call me as soon you reached home. Okay?” he asks her again when she’s not answering just now.

“Yeah, I will.” She leisurely said.

“Promise me?” he asks her again.

She just stays frozen at the other line. She didn’t really listen to him this time as she heard little sobs that is not coming from her.  

Her eyes wander to find the source of the cries. And it shatters her heart when she found it, the one who cries silently alone in the garden beside of her.

And Khun as well trained his ears to sound is, he manage to catch those little sob that Elyssa hear. And he was sure those sobs weren’t from his baby. So he just keep silence, waiting for her to reply.

“Shamill, come here.” For a while, Elyssa forgot she was on the phone with Khun. All her attention goes to her grieving best friend.

But Shamill just stood there, in the dark. And so Elyssa stands up, slowly walking towards him, she went in front of him,

“Hey there my cutie pie, come, sit down there.” Elyssa coaxed her best friend and drag him by the end of his baju melayu sleeve. Shamill just follow her, without any sound. He still cries, his tear still running down his cheeks.

While Khun at the other line listen, quietly, how soft, how sweet Elyssa toward her friend, and he can’t help but feel jealous. If he didn’t know better, and if he listen to his heart, he seriously will be fly to Malaysia right now to declare Elyssa is his.

Unfortunately, he knows it better than anyone else, Elyssa was not his, and right now her best friend needs her the most; to support him going through this depressive state of his life. Khun learns to understand.

As Shamill rear end parked nicely on the bench, Elyssa reminded of her conversation just now.

“Hello Khun, are you still there?” Elyssa asks him.

“Yeah dear, I am still here, waiting for you,” Khun answers, trying his best to sound as casual as possible. He is trying his best to curb his jealousy.

“I’ll call you back some other time okay? I promise” Elyssa said then, need to end the conversation. She needs to focus on her best friend right now.

“Okay, you have promised. Don’t forget okay.” Khun agrees.

“Hmm..okay, bye.” Elyssa ends the conversation.

***

“Hey, say something.” Elyssa said to her friend and pokes him using her phone.

“What do you want me to say Elyssa? You don’t have to pity me. I only lost my fiancée, nothing big about that.” Shamill said in a cold tone.

Elyssa takes a deep breath, a very, very deep breath.

She almost explodes.

“No need to pity him? Then what he expect me to do when he’s like this? Fragile, vulnerable and ready to break into pieces anytime from now? Oh my god, this guy really need a good beating.”

“Whatever, Shamill. Say whatever you feel inside. Don’t keep it to yourself. You know I am here for you right? Whenever, however you need me. I’ll try my best to help.” She said then, standing up.

There’s no use for her to stay there. Shamill needs his time alone. Need his time to digest and to understand everything. Furthermore being alone like this in a quiet place is not good for both of them. Others might misunderstood their situation.

She walks lifelessly inside Nina’s home. To go back to her mother. Nina’s mother also needs her right now.

***