Already Chapter 1!

"Usless !" a punch in his ribs.

"good for nothing idiot!" another punch in his stomach.Kris coughed and tried to keep his screams as quiet as possible.It was Exo-M's first performance in Beijing with their new song Overdose and during the performance Kris wasn't feeling well.He had a huge headache and accidently tripped on Luhan.Of course their manager saw it and got angry at Kris.Like always.. 

"It was such a mistake to give the leader title to you,you son of a ! Xiumin would have done a better job.! The dance is so freaking easy! How the could you manage to trip on Luhan's feet when he was at least 2 meters away from you huh?!" Manager Lee shouted and gripped Kris by his hair.Kris yelped in pain and held onto his manager's hand tightly.

"When will you ever learn?! You good for nothing boy! Why did you become a part of exo? You cant sing , you cant dance,even your rapping isnt good like Chanyeol's! Im sure you just got in because of your 'good looks' but for me you are a fat who doesnt deserve to be an idol! God did you gain weight? Last time i saw you you were a tiiiiiny bit thinner.But I guess a whale like you cant survive without food!"

"what food?" Kris thought to himself.He didnt have any proper meals in weeks.Hell he couldnt even remember the last time he ate a full meal.All he has is an apple.If he's feeling okay he'd eat a whole bowl of rice just to throw it back up.

It's been 5 months since Kris got abused by his manager. 5 months since the love of his life began dating a beautiful woman. 5 months since his smile became fake. And Kris didnt know how long he could stand it. Once his manager left the room,Kris shakily stood up while holding his ribs.

"must been broken again...!" he thought to himself as he limbed his way out of his manager's room and entered the living room where the other members sat.He was lucky he didnt get punched in his face today or else he had no idea how to hide it.

"Hey hyung" Tao smiled at Kris and went to hug him.Kris tried to hold back a scream of pain."You were great today Hyung.Your rapping is amazing." Tao squealed like a fanboy. Kris chuckled fakely trying to hide the pain coming from his ribs.He cant bring Exo down with him.

"Hey Yifan I'm ordering some food.What do you want to eat?" Xiumin,the eldest,asked.Kris just shook his head before excusing himself to the bathroom.

Luhan let out a sigh as soon as he heared the bathroom door close "It's been like this since 5 months Umin hyung. I dont remember the last time I saw Kris eating with us..." he said. 

"Yes and he was clutching his ribs again." Lay claimed. "Maybe something is wrong with him?Maybe he hurt himself somewhere but doesnt want to tell us?" Lay asked.

"He is like that almost everyday hyung.He cant hurt himself everyday,can he?" Tao asked.

"Guys it's probably nothing.He'd tell us when something is wrong" Xiumin said and smiled "So lets order.im starving." 

Kris heared what they said.When he heared Xiumin saying that his heart broke.

"Xiumin doesnt care about you Yifan.Noone does! Even your own mother disowned you because you are a gay ! Do you see that razor? This will be your only friend from now on.Use it whenever you feel sad or unhappy. But be aware that you cant just cut on your arms without hiding your scars.you should wear long sleeved shirts from now on!" A voice inside Kris' head said. Kris eyed the razor before picking it up gently.He trailed his shaky fingers down the blade and winced at its sharpness.He then remembered all the abuse and insults he gets almost everyday.He pulled up his sleeve and placed the blade against his wrist.He took a deep breath,closed his eyes and pressed the blade down against his wrist dragging it across.He felt the blood bubble up and roll down on the titled floor.He opened his eyes and looked at his masterpiece.For the first time in 5 months he smiled a real smile. He cleaned the cut and put a bandage on it before kneeling over the toilet to purge.Today he had eating after his performance.he had eaten because his bandmates looked at him oddly.Like they were suspecting something.So he forced himself to swallow half of the amount on his plate.However,he wasnt able to purge since as soon as he was done,Manager Lee paid for the food and forced them all to exit the restaurant to go home where he could beat the out of Kris.Kris let out a sigh when he was finished puking.He flushed the toilet before rinsing his mouth.After that he went into his and Tao's shared room  and fell on his bed where sleep overtook him as soon as his eyes closed.

//Author's Note: So i guess that was the first chapter already? O.O Well this is the first fanfiction im writing and honestly I have no idea where this is going at all xD this just popped into my head. I've read countless of fanfictions where other members are getting abused/selfharm or have an eating disorder but I think Kris also looks like he could be depressed and self harm or get an eating disorder. Mostly its Xiumin or Luhan.But for me...i just wanted to read a fanfic where its about Kris being abused or self harming or getting an eating disorder but since I never found one I thought "hey why not writing one myself?" XD Well I hope you enjoyed the forst chapter-forword and im open for your opinions <3