“WHERE IS IT!!??”

Ryeowook screamed and searched through the room again, pulling open drawers and closets. He knew it was somewhere here. He could feel it. That invisible pull. But he couldn’t find it no matter how hard he tried. He had even searched the other rooms when all the members were out. Frustrated, Ryeowook threw his arms in the air and fell to the ground with his back against the wall. He could feel his cheeks getting wet and his breathing growing more rapidly.

“I have to find it.”

He had to. He had to find it. If… If he wasn’t able to find it, then everything would be gone. He was going to… Ryeowook didn’t want to think about it. He was already so miserable and tired, so very exhausted. His energy was depleting with every second and he just…. God, he just really didn’t know what to do anymore. He knew he had to leave soon. Of course he knew that. But… Kyuhyun…. Ryeowook had been away from Kyuhyun for way too long and… He loved him too much to leave without Kyuhyun.

But… Why didn’t Kyuhyun want to see him though? The other members… Why didn’t they want to look after him? Were they…. Were they disgusted with Ryeowook? Angry? Disappointed? Ryeowook sobbed quietly, his stone cold heart not being able to hold it anymore.

***

The super junior members were having their dance practise for their next album. The members were all awkward with Sungmin and although Sungmin felt bad, he kept it to himself. He was doing something for all of them, he thought. He shouldn’t feel bad. As the practise ended, some members had to rush off to their next schedules and the members that stayed behind were only Eunhyuk, Donghae and Sungmin. Sungmin downed half of his bottle and asked for Eunhyuk to guide him through the dance again since he was still a bit confused with the steps. Eunhyuk hadn’t talked to him for the whole day but Sungmin figured to he had to put aside their personal problem and focused on their profession life. Eunhyuk however glared at Sungmin.

“How long are you going to keep doing this?” Eunhyuk asked.

“What are you talking about?” Sungmin countered back, annoyed.

“You not letting us near Ryeowook has got to stop.”

“Oh come on, not this again.”

“Hyuk’s right, hyung.” Donghae joined in. “I want to see Ryeowook when he’s awake not when he’s asleep. I want to talk to him and tell him that we’re there for him.”

“Well is that it? Well if it’s just that then I can pass the message to him.” Sungmin said. “Now are you going to help me with the dance steps or not?”

“What is wrong with you?” Donghae shook his head. “It’s like ever since Wookie came back, I don’t even know who you are anymore, hyung.”

“Look,” Sungmin sighed, pitifully. “I just…  I can’t let you near Wookie yet. Just not yet.”

“Why not?”

Because it’s dangerous. Because you’d cry if you saw him.

“I just… I’m sorry guys. But please believe me.”

“I just don’t understand you.” Donghae growled annoyed. “He’s our dongsaeng too!”

Eunhyuk stared at Sungmin straight into his eyes and for a brief moment, Eunhyuk saw something flash across his hyung’s eyes. He didn’t know what it was but he had a feeling that this hyung was in his own sorrows too. He didn’t know the full story yet but somehow, just somehow, Eunhyuk felt like Sungmin was doing the right thing. Because this was Sungmin. This hyung had one of the most purest hearts and kindest souls in the group. He must be doing all of this for a reason.

“Hyung, you know you’ve never disappointed us.” Eunhyuk whispered. “I hope you have a good reason for this.”

Sungmin bit his lip and nodded. “I do, Hyuk. I really do.”

“Trust me guys, it’s really better this way.”

***

“Oh hyung, I didn’t see you there.”

Sungmin jumped at the soft voice. Looking back, he gave a small smile to the magnae and looked back out of the huge window. Kyuhyun shifted his weight from one foot to another and took a deep breath, walking next t