I enter the dressing room and my eyes immediately light up as I see him checking out his hair in the mirror.  His warm brown eyes meet mine and my heart can’t stop pattering like crazy against my chest.  He gives a big adorable smile and turns around.  His now blond hair makes him look so much paler and he looks like he’s lost some weight but his eyes still light up with happiness and when he greets me, his voice is still loud and enthusiastic. 

He pulls me into a bone-crushing hug and lifts me off of the ground. 

I laugh when he puts me down on the ground and just hold onto him tighter, noticing how much bonier he’s gotten.

“Mir, what’s going on?  Why are you so skinny?” I can’t resist pinching his adorable cheeks that have recently lost baby fat. 

“You need to take better care of your----“ I don’t get to finish as his mouth presses against mine.  I put my hands on the back of his neck as he deepens the kiss, softly pushing me against the wall. 

“Stop complaining,” he kisses my neck, “I can take care of myself.”

“Ya!” We pull away and immediately turn red as we see Seungho stare at us like O.O

“I need to go finish practice.  Wait for me?” Mir pecks me on the lips.

“Always, oppa!” I say sweetly and he grins at me.  Now that he’s lost more weight and has gotten blond hair, his smile looks a little bit hollow.  I miss those puffy cheeks that complimented his smile.  I’m going to need to cook him a big meal later. 

“Hey!” I hug him from behind as he finishes dressing into normal clothes.  Surprisingly, he almost falls forward and I almost fall with him if he hadn’t caught himself  just in time.

“Ya! Don’t tell me I have a weak boyfriend!” I say teasingly, kissing his back.

I feel him shiver and he quickly puts his hands on mine and lifts them away from him so he can turn around and kiss me on the forehead. 

“I don’t feel well, yeobo.  I’ve been practicing too much these days.  I think I’m going to go back to the dorm and rest.”  I see his face is paler than before and he’s slightly bent over. 

“I’ll go with you.  I’ll tuck you into bed.  Make sure you have soup to drink and someone to take care of you,” I say as I grab onto his arm to steady him, but he gently pushes me away. 

“I’m fine.  Just go back home.  I’ll call you later.” 

We thought it was the flu

But we were stupid

And we let it take you

Away from here and away from me

Why did you have to go so fast ?

With so much left for us

          “Mir?” I enter his bedroom to see him all in sweats moving around in bed.  He’s gotten so much paler and thinner in the last few hours since I saw him. 

            “Mir, what’s going on?  Oppa, you’re scaring me!” I exclaim as his eyes open but he doesn’t seem to see me.  He’s holding his stomach in pain.

            “Seungho, oppa!” I scream as I drop the chicken soup onto the floor.  Seungho quickly comes in followed by the other members and they all crowd around Mir’s bed.  By now Mir is tossing and turning and he’s still holding his stomach in pain. 

            I quickly grab Mir’s hand and kiss his forehead, surprised at how hot it is.  I put my head on his chest, trying to hug him and he stops shaking temporarily and I feel a slight pressure against my hand.

            “Yeobo,” he says weakly and I look up at him.  I can hardly see him through the tears in my eyes, “It hurts.”   

            Joon gently pulls me away from him as we hear the ambulance outside and in one swift movement he carries Mir. We all head to the ambulance and then to the hospital. 

I’m lying in my bed tears falling down my cheeks

I remember what you last said

Before you left me

You had a smile on your face

But I knew you were scared inside

Don’t leave me, don’t leave me

Was on repeat in my mind

            “He needs surgery.  We found a tumor that’s been growing in his stomach.”  The doctor’s cold words strike me like lighting and kills me; I fall to the ground. 

            How can my Mireu have a tumor? Why didn’t any of us know this?  Why didn’t I find out sooner that something was wrong with him? 

            The other members are speechless.  Thunder is right beside me on the ground, both of us crying like crazy.

            “Will the surgery….r-r-remove it completely?” Seungho tries to stay strong for the rest of us but I can see that he’s really trying.  I see G.O’s pale face and Joon on my other side is trembling as he holds onto the wall. 

            “If successful yes, but it’s a very complicated procedure.” 

            They wheel Mir out on a gurney before his surgery so he can see us.  I run to him and grasp his hands.  I feel that if I hold him tighter or even hug him that I’ll break him.  Everyone else is crowding around him and trying to comfort him in any way they can. 

            “Yeobo, don’t cry,” he says silently as he wipes the tears away from my eyes.  “I need you to smile for me.” He smiles but I can see tears fall from his eyes as well.

            “I’m going to be alright.  Just a few snips hear and there and then we'll be back to normal.  You know what?  I don’t care what J.Tune says, I’m going to take you to Australia like I promised.” 

            Despite everything I crack a smile. 

            “Don’t leave me,” I say silently.

            “I can never leave you even if I tried,” Mir pulls me closer to him and we kiss.  It’s a soft one, but it feels like a last one for some reason.  We don’t stop until the doctor kindly pulls me away.  I walk with him until he enters the operating room.

            “I love you.”

            “I love you more.” 

The flowers you used to give and the life we used to live

Loving you was all I used to know

You’re disappearing and I’m trying hard not to let go

Why does time take it all away?

I’m living in these shades of gray

Haunted by my memories of you and the love that’s now gone

            “What is this?  Where’s my present?” I ask as Mir takes his hands off of my eyes and says “Jaja!”

            I stare at a blank patch of soil on the ground and try to figure out what was so important.  I must say I expecte much more coming from my boyfriend of two weeks. 

            “It’s not what it is, it’s what there will be,” Mir said pulling me to him and pointing to the soil patch. “I planted something there and in the spring you’ll see what it is.”

            I pout, “Seriously?”

            “Hey!  I actually took all night doing this for you, you know!” Mir playfully pushes me away and turns his back on me.

            “I can’t believe you would do something like that for me!” I quickly put my arms around his waist, “No one’s ever done anything like that for me.  They never put thought into their gifts.  I love it,” I kiss his back and he turns around and faces me. 

            “Well you better.  Like I said, I spent a great deal of time doing this.”

            “Way to ruin the mood!” I smack him playfully. 

            It’s been a month since Mir passed away and it’s the beginning of spring.  I come out every day to look at this little patch of dirt.  Every day something will erupt from the dirt.  A little flower petal here or another colored flower in a different place.  They were arranged peculiarly but I didn’t care.  It was the one changing thing that reminded me of Mir.  Pictures and material things just make me sad. 

            I can’t even look at anything without being reminded of him.  I hardly leave my house.  No one can know how I feel.  A part of me is gone: a big part and it can never come back no matter how much I dream or wish it to. 

            When I woke up this morning I was surprised when I went out to the soil patch.  There was a beautiful arrangement of full grown flowers in colors of blue, pink, red, and yellow.  And they were arranged to form the words: I Will Love you Forever 

I don’t want to forget the way we used to love

The way you would always make me feel

The warm touch of your hand in mine

I’m standing by the carving with our names forever in this tree

And you said you’d always love me

You said you’ll always love me

          “So you were jealous?” Mir said cheekily as I walked beside him. 

            I turn red and quickly look away.

            “Hmmmm????  Well?” Mir asks and pokes my side in annoyance when I don’t answer him, “Hey if you don’t want to talk, why did you ask me out here?  Should I go home then?” Mir makes to walk back to his dorm and I quickly grab his hand.

            “No, don’t go.” 

            He grins at me and holds my hand tighter.

            “So you were jealous.”

            “Oh shut up!” I say, “Of course I was!”  I close my mouth immediately after. 

            “Well it’s about time,” Mir says and immediately puts his mouth to mine. 

            “We need to commemorate this,” I say after we pull away. 

            He raises an eyebrow at me and I think he looks so good with the moon shining behind him like that.  I back up against the tree turnk and immediately get an idea. 

            “You have anything sharp?” 

            “What are we: elementary students?” Mir asks as I carve his name into the trunk.

            “More like delinquents,” I grin, “Now you can write my name.” 

            “What is this?” Mir glances at what I carved into it, “Hey I’m not cheesy!” 

            “What are you talking about?  You so are! You practically used every trick in the book,” I pinch his cheeks cutely. 

            “Fine,” he grins as he carves something else in the tree.

            “Jelly?  Really?” 

            “Cheese and Jelly couple,” Mir grins as he pulls me to him so we can look at the tree.  

Our love was unconquerable

Enough to take over the world

But now I’m left with lonely valentines

No more mistletoes and kisses at midnight

To begin a new year

Because I’m not looking forward to any future without you here

Hehe sorry guys for the late update.  hopefully this long chap will make up for it?????  This is mainly done for ShadyGirl since she said she missed it :)  Haha and i thought i had a writer's block.  I guess i will get out of writer's block when i know that my subscribers are missing my stories cuz then i get more encouraged to write :DDDDDDD

anyway hope you like it.  sorry if you guys hate the ending but you should see a pattern with these oneshots.  i kinda based this off of a book i read called "Don't Die my Love" by lurlene mcdaniel.  it's a really good book i def recommend it.  So next oneshot will be leader yang seungho!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so no poll will be needed. 

SHAMELESS ADVERTISING TIME: If you're a fan of MBLAQ (which you should be because you're reading this XD)/INFINITE then you should check out my second mblaq  horror fanfic http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/92934/new-nightmare-horror-korean-mblaq-supernatural 

thank you for reading and sticking with me even tho im slow to update.  comment and subscribe <333333