This is the fourth tub of ice cream i’ve had this week. Jessica is on her fifth.

“We should stop eating so much ice cream,” I suggest, spooning another heap of frozen heaven into my mouth.
“No.”
“Yeah what the hell was I thinking?”
“Thank god I’m here to stop you from doing stupid things.”
“Thank god indeed.”
Neither of us know why this dimension’s Tiffany has so much ice cream in her house, but that’s okay. As long as she doesn’t mind that all of it will be gone by the time she gets back. Jessica and I are currently lounging on the sofa, still undressed from what we were doing before we fell asleep. She probably thinks that I was asleep when she randomly showered me with affection BUT I WAS NOT. HAHA. I’m going to keep letting her think that, and I’ll pull out that information sometime when it’s convenient (for me, at least). I get up to put the spoon in the sink and to throw the empty tub away. I’m just about to close the bin when Jessica tells me to stop.
“Wait. Just stay there, just like that. Don’t move,” she says. My back is towards her, so I can’t see what she’s doing. I stop moving, but I have to try hard to fight the urge to turn around. I hear her footsteps approaching. 

And then I feel a hand on my and it takes a while for me to process what’s going on.
“What the hell Jessica!”
“Your is like a god.”
“Oh my god get off me.”
“Why don’t you love meeeeeeeeeee?” Jessica whines as she s my .
“Because you molest me all the time!”
“Are you saying you don’t like it?”
“No! I mean—yes! At least not so often!”
“So I can molest you?”
“JUNG JESSICA!!”
“What?”
“You infuriate me.”
“As long as the is hot I have no problems whatsoever.”
“Is that what you were hoping to achieve by grabbing my ?” I ask with a raised eyebrow.
“Perhaps.”
With her hand still on my , I turn around to face her. Pressing my body closer to hers, I raise a hand to play with her dishevelled hair.
“Well, if you had just asked…” I trail off as my other hand runs down her side, curving in to caress her inner thigh. The hand in her hair moves to tilt her chin upwards, and I can see her biting her lip, her neck moving as she swallows. Her hand loosens.
“How much do you want it?” I ask her, making sure to make our lips as close to each other as possible, but without them touching. Jessica is frozen it seems, and that makes me move my hand on her thigh further up, closer to where she probably wants it.
“It seems that you don’t want it very much, oh well, that’s a pity. Maybe next time,” I simper as I turn and walk away, just as she closes her eyes and is about to lean in to kiss me. Without having to turn around, I can tell that she’s still standing there, with open and a disbelieving face.

Just as I am about to reach the door to the bedroom, I’m pinned against the wall, arms above my head. Her chests heaves as she presses our lips, our bare bodies, together. If not for her leg wedged between mine, I’d probably have slid to the ground in a hot mess already. She releases my left arm, which immediately claws at her shoulder, and her hand returns to where it was, grasping at my . She on my earlobe and with her extremely attractive voice, she taunts me, “how much do I want it? What about how much you want it?”
“I want you so much right now oh my god Jessica me,” I breathe. It’s not my fault I’m grinding against her leg. It’s really not.
She smirks and tangles her hand in my hair, “if this is what being straightforward gets me, I’m going to be straightforward all the time.”
“Yeah well I’d rather you head straight for the bed ugh,” if she doesn’t get us to the bed I’m going to come right here and right now. I swear to god she picks the worst times to be a tease. Then again, there is never a good time to be a tease.
“The bed? What for?” she asks almost innocently, “what if I got you off right here and right now? Actually, it looks like I don’t even have to, your doing it by yourself.”
“Jesus Christ Jessica either you get me off or I get myself off, one or the other,” I spit.
“Yes, but what’s in it for me?”
“You get to see and hear me scream your name.”
“That is a tempting offer.”
“It’s the only offer.”
“Hmm…”
“Jessica I swear to god, just me now or I’ll push you over and sit on your face.”
“Okay now you’re .”
“You weren’t before?!?”
“Well yeah I was how could I not have been?”
“You said y—STOP STALLING AND JUST ME ALREADY!!” I hiss angrily at her, pushing her off me and into the bedroom, where she falls on the bed and takes me along with her. I resume grinding on her, this time on her stomach and I’m sure she can feel how wet I am.
“I after I come I’m going to kill you,” I moan.
“Well my plan was to you and you good, so you wouldn’t have the energy to harm me,” she laughs as she leans up to kiss my neck.
“So when are you going to put that plan into action?” I ask, the bed jerking along to the movements of my hips. Everything stops for a while when our eyes meet and she holds me still.
“Right now,” she says with conviction.

And before I know it, I’m lying with my back on the bed and she’s between my legs.

————————

“Real talk tho, how good was that?” Jessica asks breathily as I catch my breath and rest against her chest.
“I hate you but you’re so hot.”
“I’ll take that as “Wow Jessica that was the best I’ve ever had in my life I love you!””
“You’re so obnoxious.”
“And hot. Don’t forget hot.”
“Obnoxious and hot, like a lit cigarette.”
“I guess I’m just that addictive.”
“Just let me pretend that I’m in love with you so we can cuddle and so I can sleep.”
Jessica stays silent, but before I fall asleep, I hear something like, “I don’t need to pretend.”

Maybe I’m just too tired.

————————

Life as pro-boxer Tiffany was going pretty well.

And then we get transported into the cafeteria of a high school. Because we were sleeping, neither of us are prepared to be in a standing position and we drop to the floor.
“Tiffany unnie!!” someone shrieks. My vision is crowded by shoes and legs and I can’t see Jessica past them. Someone helps me up, and I recognise the owners of the shoes and legs to be people who we’ve met before. Sunny and Yuri are there, they look basically the same, except Sunny doesn't have the short blonde hair she had in the last universe we saw her in, it’s long and black. Yuri looks the same. Yoona is there too, and so is—I think her name is Taeyeon? Yeah Taeyeon. It turns out that the one who screamed was Yoona. When I get to my feet I head over to help Jessica who has no one around her at all and I think she has fallen asleep.
“Hey, Jessica, wake up.”
“Oh god why does my head hurt.”
“You fell down.
“Oh right.”
The small group hurry over to us.
“Omo!! Unnie!! Wae are you helping out such a nappeun saram??” Yoona screams again.
“Why are you talking like that? And why do you keep screaming? Jesus…” I squint at her.
“Unnie!! Don’t use the Lord’s name in vain!” someone else screams at me.
I have no words to say. This place is weird as hell. Grabbing Jessica’s hand, I walk away from the group, to wherever the hell there are no people. As weird as Breadland was, at least there weren’t so many weirdos around.  We manage to find an empty classroom, it looks like it hasn't been used in a while.

“Okay first things first—”
“I’M THE REALEST!! DROP THIS AND LET THE WHOLE WORLD FEEL IT something something LIKE I’M GIVING LESSONS IN PHYSICS!!” Yoona bursts through the door, her entourage trailing behind her.
“YOONA WHY THE ARE YOU HERE??” I scream. This place is horrible. I just need to talk to Jessica and all of this is happening.
“Unnie, ige museun mariya? Naega is your best chingu!!”
“Why do you keep talking like that Jesus ing Christ,” I mutter.
“BLASPHEMY!!!” the same person who screamed at the previous mention of “the Lord’s name” screams again.
Jessica moves towards them. All of them widen their eyes in fear, taking two steps back for every one step Jessica takes. They slowly flow out of the door and before Jessica shuts it I hear Taeyeon.
“Guys I think I wet myself.”
“As gross as that is, it is a fairly valid response to the situation,” Yuri says.

And the door slams shut.
Jessica grabs a desk and slides it in front of the door, leaning against it with her arms crossed.
“Okay this is by far the worst dimension-universe-thing we’ve been in so far. Even worse than the war and Breadland. Combined.”
“That’s exactly what I was thinking.”

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HI WADDUP
do u see that ual bit
i do not know what came over me
it just happened
should this be rated m
idk
i finally managed to get back into the crack aspect of this
i really need to update more efficiently