He’s so still.  There had been no signs of improvement.  The beeping monitors were my only company.  As long as I hear their steady beep, I’m comforted.  I checked the screen over and over.  The waves on the monitor were normal.  After seeing them everyday, I could tell if something was out of the ordinary.  I have kept the call light beside me, ready to hit it anytime I sense something was wrong. 

As long as his heart keeps beating, I will not lose hope. He had been in a coma for almost a month now.  I've never once left his side. I don’t know if he can hear me, there were no signs to tell me otherwise. 

“Taec, if you can hear me, please give me a sign.”  There was no response.  It has been like this everyday.  Even in his deep slumber, he was beautiful.  I stoked his hair and caressed his face.

“Oppa, I love you always and forever.  Please come back to me.”  My eyes swelled with tears each time.  It’s unbearable to see him like this.  I was sobbing as I held his hand.  I cried until I couldn’t shed another tear.  I didn’t realize I had drifted off to sleep.

Someone was my hair.  My eyes flew open. Could it be?

“Oh! I’m sorry….I thought…” I said disappointedly as I wiped the remaining tears from my eyes.

“My poor sweet child.” Taec’s mother engulfed me in a hug.  “You’ve never once left his side.  I’m so grateful for all you do.  Taec is so lucky to have you.”

“Good morning Ma’am, Sir.” I greeted his parents, bowing slightly.

“Please, call me Sieomeoni.  You’re as much as a daughter-in-law to me.  Please Gui Gui. I would be greatly honored if you do.”

“Ye, Sieomeoni” I bowed again.

“You can also address me Siabeoji” said Taec’s dad as he tapped my shoulder.

“Ye, Siabeoji,” and bowed to him as well.

“Gui Gui, I won’t begrudge you if you decide to leave.”  I was confused why Taec’s mom said this.  “Please don’t get me wrong. I have always been fond of you.  You made my son very happy.  When Taec told me he wanted to marry you, I didn’t have second doubts.  You were the right one for him.  But then…you have to think of yourself too, your happiness.  We don’t know what would become…”

“Sieomeoni, I’m sorry.  I may not know what would become of him but I would never leave him.  I cannot love anyone else.  I will stay by his side for as long as he needs me.  I will only go if he orders me away.”

“Hush now dear child.  It hurts me too, to see you this way.  All that brightness and gleam in your eyes…they’ve been replaced with tears and sorrow.”

“Someday, I shall be happy again Sieomeoni.  Taec and I will be happy again.  I have to believe in that.  I have to.”  I smiled at them while holding back my tears.

I saw her cast a worried look at her husband.  They cared about me too.  They have grown to love me like a daughter.  As much as they appeared strong, they were suffering more than I was.  Taec’s mom has been on antidepressants and antianxiety medications since the accident.  She has a weak heart and has been hospitalized multiple times due to grief.  His father had to stay strong.  His family needed him.  He tried not to show weakness but when he thought he was alone, he cried like he had been in so much pain.  He felt guilty that he couldn’t do anything – that he was worthless and couldn’t protect his only son.  We supported each other throughout this time.  The hope that he would wake up one day was our only source of strength.

Taec’s parents brought me food everyday and they made sure my father was also taken cared of.  I practically lived in the hospital.  Eta comes to see me three times a week to bring me clean clothes.

His 2pm brothers religiously came to visit him everyday.  Chansung in particular, stays the longest to take care of him.  He pays his respect to him everyday and cries each time he held his hand.

“I love you bro.  We missed you so much.  The group is not the same not having you around.  You must hurry and wake up so we can hang out again, arasso?  Thank you for saving my life.”  And with that he sobs even more.  “Thanks to you, my daughter is growing up with a father.” Chansung his hair and kissed his forehead. 

I could vividly recall that ill-fated day when I got the tragic news.

“Gui Gui…” Chansung was sobbing on the phone.  “I’m so sorry…Taecyeon-hyung…”

“What’s wrong? Where’s Taec?” He could hear the panic in my voice.

“He tried to save me…I’m so sorry.”  I felt my knees buckle and I slumped to the floor.  My eyes were b with tears and I was in near hysteria.

“Tell me, please tell me!  Where is Taec?” I pleaded with him to answer me.

“He got seriously hurt.  His chances are not good. It is all my fault, I’m truly sorry Gui Gui.”

I looked at Chansung who sat opposite from me.  He still blames himself for the accident and felt indebted to Taec.

“Chansung-ahh…”

“Ye?”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself.  Taec knows that you would have done the same for him if the situation were reversed.”

“Ye…” he answered limply.

“Your brother will wakeup one day.”  I wasn’t sure if I was convincing myself or Chansung. 

“That is my fervent prayer Gui Gui.  I wish he would wake up soon.  We are all waiting for him.”

I have been traveling in this oasis for days.  I might have been going around in circles for I seem to always end up in the same spot.  There was a pool of clear water.  My throat was parched from walking.  The sun was up, it looked like noontime, but the heat doesn’t scorch me.  I dipped my hand in the water so I could scoop some to drink. Oh, this is odd.  My hand did not get wet and why can’t I draw water from the pool?  I tried again, this time using both hands.  Peculiar? What kind of phenomenon is this?  This must be a magical pool and there must be a special way to draw water out.  But how?

I looked around.  There were no animals.  All around me were just miles and miles of sand dunes. Then I noticed this lone olive tree.  I swear it wasn’t there before.  I was starting to see things.  This was not a good sign.  I was experiencing a mirage. This was an early sign of dehydration. 

The tree wasn’t so far so I walked a little more so I could rest under its shade. As I got close, I noticed two little kids playing rock-paper-scissors, apparently oblivious to their surroundings.  How did they get here and where are their parents?

“Excuse me, little ones.  My name is Taec.  I’m sorry to disrupt your play but how did you get here and were are your parents?” I asked.

“Don’t worry about us kind Sir, we were sent here to help you,” the little boy answered.  The little girl beside him just giggled.

“Help me?  I’m sorry, but you are just little kids.  You’re parents must be worried about you.”

“Yes, we were sent to help you.  You’ve been here too long.  You don’t belong here,” the boy explained.

Now this is freaking me out.  This kid is barely three years old but he speaks so wisely.  I’m really hallucinating.  Then they stopped playing.  They started walking towards me.  Their movements were so synchronized.  When they were a few inches from me, they suddenly stopped and that’s when I noticed their faces.  They were the most beautiful faces I’ve ever seen.  I felt peaceful and serene.

“It’s time for you to go home kind Sir. Your loved ones are waiting.” The little boy looked at the little girl and nodded lightly at her.  She stretched out her tiny little hand and reached out to touch my heart.

“Aw! Ouch! What was that for?” I asked her.  The little girl did not respond, she was just happily smiling at me. What was she doing tasering me like that? The second shock she gave me was multiple times stronger than the first.   Then I felt myself falling.  The ground beneath me had vanished.  I was falling fast through this vast tunnel with no end in sight.

She was screaming.  The little angel was crying. “Taec…” she called out.  I landed with a hard thud then a blinding light welcomed me.