It’s spring once again. New life, new beginnings. How cliché.  

I have finally found peace in this place.  I have grown tired – tired of running.  Who knew this would be my sanctuary.  This would be the least place they would search.  I should be safe here.  For how long? I don’t know.  For now, I just want to enjoy the tranquility this place brings.  I am able to do whatever I desired and go to places I wanted to see without fear of being discovered.  It has been a long time since I settled in one place.  Now, I could finally rest.

Spring has always been my favorite season.  It brought back pleasant memories – many unforgettable pleasant memories. I spent much of my time in the garden to marvel at the colorful display of my spring flowers.  When not doing yoga, you would otherwise see me rocking back and forth on my chair under the canopy of a maple tree.  The maple tree symbolizes strength and courage.  These are the two qualities I needed in order to get by.   I will need a lot of them in the next few weeks. 

Here, I am in command of my time.  No one follows me around to remind me of my schedules.  I do not rush to get somewhere.  No one reprimands me when I’m late.  Although I own a decent boutique a few blocks from my house, I have left Eta in charge for a couple of weeks now.  I’m on the last leg of my third trimester and it’s getting harder to move around.

I was told I’ll be having twins and my due date was getting close.  I hoped my son would be as beautiful as his father and that my daughter would have some of my features.  I am scared.  Frightened of what might happen.  Unlike most mothers-to-be, they have their husbands or partners to draw strength from.   I will be going through this experience alone.  I needed to be brave.  My two little angels are counting on me.

My dream of happily settling down was almost within my grasp but as always, happiness eludes me.   I never resented their father.  The circumstances were beyond his control.  If only things where the way they used to be, my story would have had a happy ending.

To be happy is a choice.  I lost the man I loved and adored – the love of my life, my soul mate.  I’m certain he would want me to be happy.  To live miserably and pitifully is not an option.  I could never feel his warm embraces and kisses again.  There were days when the pain was unbearable but, I have our happy memories to help me get by. 

Over the past eight months, I have consciously made tremendous effort to keep sorrow at bay.  I have to believe in this fantasy, in my happily ever after, otherwise my world would start to fall apart.

Each night before I go to sleep, I would pick out a scrapbook from my vast collection of scrapbooks.  Unlike most people, their shelves are filled with books, videos or music collections.  These scrapbooks contained pictures, memories and keepsakes of what once was our blissful life together.  I wanted my children to know their father – what a wonderful man he was and what a wonderful father he would have been. 

As I scanned through the pages, I could somehow feel his presence…tenderly caressing me.  It seems like it was not too long ago and I allowed my memories to carry me back in time…

This must be the room.  I looked at the number on my room key just to make sure.  Yes, this is definitely the room – room number 583.  It was almost twilight when I arrived at the Westin Europa & Regina Hotel in Venice.  Taec insisted we needed this vacation.  We both worked so hard, we barely have time for ourselves. 

As we were unable to travel together, he emailed me a detailed itinerary for our 7-day trip to Venice, Italy.  He gave me strict instructions not to be late.  I looked at my watch.  I arrived exactly on time. Upon opening the door, I could not help but marvel at the luxurious Grand Venetian style suite with a stunning view of the Grand Canal. It was then that I noticed a narrow pathway of heart-shaped candles leading to the bedroom suite.  The pathway was a carpet of white rose petals.  There was a faint light coming from the room.  I began to feel a quiver of excitement. What surprise could he have concocted for me this time?

Candles of different shapes and sizes filled the room.  In the middle of the gargantuan bed was Taec.  My heart skipped so many beats and I had to catch my breath.  He was lying diagonally in the middle of the bed facing the door and clad only with a bowtie and tight-fit black leather boxer shorts.  His right elbow was propped up so he could raise his head.  He flexed his left knee sideways so he could strike a y, sensual pose.

“Hi” he said shyly.

My face must have been scarlet red and I suddenly felt coy.

“Wah, Oppa…I’m speechless.”

“Well, what do you think?” he asked with a broad smile.

“You look…inviting,” I said honestly.

“I was confident you’d say that,” he boasted.

I dropped my suite case and was preparing to plop into bed with him.

“Ah, ah, ah…” waving his left index finger at me.  “You need to wait a little while, sweetheart. Patience is a virtue.”

“Since when are we patient?” I asked.

“Since today,” he stifled a laugh.  “See that chair in the center? I’d like you to make yourself comfortable.”

I did as he instructed.  What was he thinking? What tricks does he have under his sleeves? I hope he’s not going to tie me to the chair.

He slowly got out of the bed and was pressing a tiny object in his hand.  Their 2pm song ‘Beautiful’ was suddenly playing in the background and Taec began to do their y dance.  He was slowly approaching the chair then proceeded to tease me with his body wave.  I got completely distracted with the bulge below his navel. He raised my chin with one finger to redirect my gaze back to his face.

“Sweetheart, eyes on the board, please.  I’m doing a show here.” 

I laughed bashfully at being caught.  Then I remembered that I had five $100 bills in my pocket.  I took them out and conveniently inserted them inside his leather shorts.  He grinned widely, catching on with the mood.  His performance became more intense and sultry.

“I’m not that cheap you know,” he teased.

“What is your asking price?” I teased back.

“I don’t think you can afford me.”

“Try me,” I challenged.

“That’s it.”  He scooped me off the chair and tossed me on the bed.

Even with just a memory I got to relive the excitement.  Just then, I felt a sudden nudge on my belly. I rubbed my belly to calm them down.  My soothing somehow relaxed them.

“Yes, little ones, your dad was quite a catch.  He was a good dancer and a serious performer.  He had a very successful career and I got to experience that glory with him.” As if they understood what I said, they nudged my belly lightly once again.

“You may not get to see him or grow up with him but I know he loved you both so much.”  I know this much is true and I couldn’t fight that lone tear from trickling down my face.

-------------------------------------

This is a very short chapter.  This is simply a prelude to our lovely couple's next adventure post GWGM.  Thank you for your continued patronage.