Chapter 6

•  •  •

And just like that, autumn passed. Seasons change quickly especially for the young. Soon Yoona found a way for her to adapt to her new life. Every day, she and Seunggi would go to classes together. She sat with his (rather loud) group of friends at lunch and when they parted at the end of the day, she took the train back with Yuri who made her laugh and laughed with her. Watching the leaves fall from the trees and the sky growing greyer each day, the inexperienced stumble of September changed into the confident assurance of January. At school, people now began to be aware of her. First for her good looks, then for her talent, later for her relationship with Seunggi. They were claimed the most beautiful couple of the school before they even were one. She wasn’t sure when they had officially started dating. She wasn’t sure if she really cared that much. For now, everything was fine. For once she enjoyed the days going by in a haze. She felt as if she was floating, not really experiencing time. She lived on her emotions only.

But Yoona did not yet realise that happiness is only momentarily and never lasts. It is inevitable that one day, It will come.

•  •  •

‘’I brought you back a present.’’ Yoona looked up from her textbook. Next to her, Seunggi continued reading his magazine.

‘’What is it?’’ She couldn’t conceal the curiosity in her voice. Her father smiled and handed her a large paper bag with a logo on it that Yoona very quickly recognised. fell open and she gasped.

‘’Appa, you really didn’t have to do that!’’ Her father shrugged. He really wanted to, he said. Seunggi had lifted his head up now too, his hand still halfway through turning the page. Yoona pulled a large box out of the bag and put it on the kitchen table. Inside she found a beautiful black dress. She stood up and held the dress in front of her.

‘’It’s so pretty! Can I try it on immediately?’’ Her father laughed at her excitement and nodded. Seunggi chuckled as well and gave her father a look that said ‘what can you do?’. She squealed and gave her father a kiss on the cheek only to run up the stairs with a lot of noise. The dress looked perfect of course. 2,000  US dollars (business trip to Chicago) hugging her body perfectly.

‘’Show us what the back looks like, dear.’’ Her father says. Yoona smiles and twirls. Stomping her feet on the ground, she walks to and from the kitchen door, pretending to be a model. Seunggi laughs and both men give her a round of applause. More seriously then, Yoona puts her hand over her father’s and smiles.

‘’Thank you appa, it’s really nice. I really appreciate that you thought of me when you were away.’’ Her father smiles as well but waves his hand. It was nothing, he says. She touches the dress again; the fabric feels incredibly soft again her skin. She sighs and sinks down on the chair next to Seunggi.

‘’I wish I could wear it soon! I can’t wear it to school though, I’ll stand out too much.’’ She grabs a strawberry from Seunggi’s plate and stuffs it into . Seunggi pats her hand as she’s doing it and she grins mischievously.

‘’You could wear it tonight.’’ He says.

She looks at him and sighs. ‘’I haven’t said if I’ll come tonight and you know it. Don’t make me feel guilty. I’m sure you’ll do great anyway.’’ Seunggi just looks at her and says nothing back. Then he goes back to his magazine, even though it’s obvious he’s not reading at all. ‘’Oh come on!’’ Yoona says and puts her head on his shoulder, looking up at him. Seunggi pouts.

‘’No arguing in the kitchen.’’ Her father says from the other end of the table. Seunggi puts his hand over her cheek and sighs.

‘’It’s just that I don’t understand why you’d rather go there than support me at this very important concert.’’ He says, shaking his head. Yoona grabs his hand and starts playing with his ring.

‘’I told you, I promised I would help her. And she’s a very dear friend to me so don’t be patronizing.’’

‘’Don’t even try. When Yoona’s got her mind made up there’s no way of changing it.’’ Her father says, peeking over the newspaper he’s reading. Yoona smiles.

‘’Yes, father. It makes you think of someone doesn’t it?’’ Her father shrugs innocently but doesn’t say anything else. The conversation is finished.

•  •  •

‘’I really appreciate you helping me out. My other good-for-nothing friends are too scared to lift a finger.’’ Yuri rolls her eyes and hands Yoona her paper hat. They’re in the back room of the restaurant. Behind them the cold store is making sure it’s heard. There are a few lockers here belonging to the family but also to the occasional part-time employee. Having changed into her work outfit, Yoona feels cold. She rubs her arms and Yuri smiles understandingly.

‘’If it’s too cold you can put something over your blouse you know, just go up to my room and see whatever fits. The customers don’t care.’’ She says, tying up her hair. Yoona watches it with envy. It’s beautiful long black hair and it reminds Yoona of ancient paintings. She sits on one of the benches, kicking her legs back and forth.

‘’That’s very kind of you but I’m sure I’ll get warm while working.’’

Yuri is looking into the mirror, carefully putting her hat on so that it doesn't make her look silly. Yoona thinks she looks great, whereas she looks like a little girl in this uniform. Yuri turns to her and smiles, patting her own hat.

‘’Yeah, it’ll be quite tiring. Bachelor parties are terrible because there are so many people that drink so much. However the mood’s pretty good as well most of the time so I have a love-hate relationship with them.’’

‘’I’ll work hard! Hwaiting!’’ Both girls smile. They tie each other’s aprons and start their evening of work.

•  •  •

‘’God! It’s really tiring! I don’t feel my legs anymore!’’ Yoona lets herself fall onto Yuri’s bed. Yuri is laughing and untying her hair in front of the mirror. She feels hot and sweaty. It’s been a really long day, perhaps even worse than usual. She feels sorry for Yoona who isn't used to this sort of thing.

‘’I told you it would be hard. You really helped us though, so thank you. I’ll go grab us something to drink okay? Be right back.’’

Yoona nods. Lying on Yuri’s bed with her eyes closed, she can hear the cars on the highway in the distance and people laughing on the streets. It’s a lot more exciting than the cold silence she hears when she’s in her own bed. She feels tired and warm. Suddenly, there's something incredibly cold on her forehead and she shrieks.

‘’Ya! Yuri!’’ she shouts and sits up immediately. Yuri laughs and hands her the beer. She goes to sit in cross-legged on the floor.

‘’Should we go sit somewhere else? We could go back into the restaurant.’’

‘’Here is fine. Your room is nice and cosy.’’ She says and smiles. Yuri just lifts an eyebrow. There is silence then. A nice long comfortable silence that people who’ve worked together know. Yoona puts the beer on Yuri’s nightstand and goes to lie on her side. She puts her hands between her thighs. On the floor, Yuri yawns.

‘’We should go to the station or else you’ll miss your train.’’

Yoona groans.

‘’I’m so tired…’’

‘’You can’t stay here. Seunggi will be waiting for you.’’ Yuri says, but makes no effort to move. Yoona stretches out her arm to Yuri. Yuri sighs but eventually stands up and goes to lie on her bed as well. Both of them have their eyes closed and they can hear each other’s soft breath. Yuri’s almost entirely asleep when Yoona speaks again.

‘’Seunggi’s not waiting for me. He has a piano recital today.’’

Yuri blinks. Looking at Yoona’s back, she can’t see her expression but her voice sounds a bit odd.

‘’If I’d have known that I wouldn’t have asked you, I’m sorry.’’

Yoona draws her knees further up to her chest.

‘’No, I chose to be here. You don’t have to be sorry.’’

Now Yuri can very clearly hear something is amiss. Leaning over Yoona, she turns on the light on her nightstand. Yoona puts her hands over her face but it’s obvious she’s crying. Now very much awake, Yuri sits up. She doesn’t know what to do, but she wants desperately to comfort her.

‘’Hey, what’s wrong now Yoona? Please talk to me…’’

Yoona lets out a small sob, then rubs her eyes with her fists and lets out a broken laugh. Her eyes are red.

‘’I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I’m crying… it’s been a long day.’’ Both of them are silent again. Yuri stands up and takes a scarf out of her closet.

‘’Here, wipe your face with this. I don’t have a handkerchief.’’ Yoona thanks her very softly and gives a small smile. They’re both sitting on the bed again.

‘’Do you need anything? Do you want to go home? I’ll wake my father up if you-‘’

‘’No! No, it’s fine. Please, can we just… lie down again.’’

This time they lie down face to face. Yoona’s clutching Yuri’s scarf in her hands, not looking at her.

‘’I actually had a bit of an argument over that with Seunggi. I don’t think he likes you. Actually I’m not sure about that, he’s just a bit snobbish. He said I shouldn’t work in ‘such a place’, whatever that means.’’

She looks Yuri in the eye and makes a face. Yuri chuckles. Then she looks away again and Yuri can hear her voice getting a bit shaky again.

‘’Honestly… today is a hard day for me. I didn’t tell Seunggi this but I want to tell you now. By now you must’ve noticed that my mother is never at home, nor are there any photos of her in our home. You’ve never asked about it and I’m thankful for that. The truth is... my mother left me and my father when I was very young.  I never saw her again.’’

‘’But that’s terrible! I’m so sorry, Yoona, I didn’t-‘’

‘’No, please. It’s okay. Anyway, I’m always reminded of that on this day so it’s difficult for me, you know?’’

Yuri nods. She puts her hand on Yoona’s, knowing she’s taking a chance. Yoona just smiles and lets go of the grip she has on the scarf. Sorry, she mouths and Yuri shakes her head, smiling. Their fingers interlock.

‘’I just don’t feel comfortable telling Seunggi about these things. Whether it’s because he’s a man or something else, I don’t know. I just… I realized today that I don’t really care about missing his piano recital. That makes me a horrible girlfriend I suppose.’’

‘’Well…’’ Yuri thinks it does, but she doesn’t like to say. Yoona chuckles and looks at the ceiling.

‘’Why don’t you break up with him if you don’t really like him?’’

‘’But I do like him. He’s handsome, smart, talented, funny, comes from a good family… he’s like the perfect fit. My father adores him. He always says to me; ‘You’ve found him, the one man I trust my daughter with!’. I can see myself growing old with him. I enjoy his company. But I don’t feel anything more than that yet I think I should.’’

After that Yoona exhales loudly and grins.

‘’That’s out of the system at last!’’

Yuri smiles back at her.

‘’But you must be able to speak honestly with him. That’s what people do when they’re in love. You don’t have to tell him everything of course, but for example this thing about your mother, that’s very important Yoona! Don’t make me scold you.’’

‘’I will tell him some day, I suppose. Right now is just not the time.’’

She doesn’t want to talk anymore. With her other hand she touches one of Yuri’s rings and starts to play with it. Yuri asks her what she’s doing and Yoona just smiles. Yuri lets her. Eventually she closes her eyes again and falls asleep.

Yoona watches her, a strange feeling in her heart. She slides one of the smallest rings off and puts it in her pocket, careful not to make a noise. She stands up and goes down to the restaurant. At sunrise, she catches the first train just in time to see the year’s first snow fall.