Chapter 7

•  •  •

‘’Hey! Can I sit with you guys today?’’ Yuri had spotted them sitting together in the cafeteria. Hyoyeon and Sooyoung were nowhere to be seen, probably off chasing some poor boys again. She knew for a fact that Jessica had overslept. It was Monday morning, she always did. She never liked being all alone at lunchtime. It made one feel so alone. Seeing who it was, Yoona instantly smiled and nodded.

‘’Of course you can!’’ she cried. ‘’You don’t mind, do you?’’

She poked Seunggi. He didn’t look up but mumbled something incoherent which Yuri took as approval. Yuri sat down with her tray and stretched out her hand across the table.

‘’I don’t believe we’ve been formally introduced. My name is Kwon Yuri.’’ Seunggi looked up from under his eyebrows.

‘’Yes. I know who you are. Pleasure.’’ He took another bite from his food. Yoona chuckled nervously. Odd, Yuri thought. But she’d been raised to be polite. Always continue with a conversation! She would hear her mother say.

‘’I’ve heard a lot of things about you from Yoona. She showed me a video of your piano performance. You are very talented indeed.’’

He scoffed.

‘’You know a lot about classical music?’’

Yuri grinned and went with her hand through her hair. She wasn’t going to be taken aback by his rudeness as surprising as she found it. Yoona had always described him as a genteel and polite young man and he was known as such in the university. Judging by the look on Yoona’s face and her angry whisper to him, this wasn’t normal behaviour.

‘’I don’t. I find that you don’t have to in order to appreciate beautiful music though. Or any art form, for that matter.’’

‘’I’m sure you do. Most people would agree, I think.’’ He was obviously mocking her but she simply agreed. Yoona started talking to her rather excitedly about a new dress her father had brought home then, making theatrical gestures in order to describe just how soft the fabric had been. Like the lightest feather! After that there was some light conversation. Every time Seunggi opened his mouth Yuri felt strung like a wire, waiting for something rude to be said. He continued to be perfectly charming however. After about ten minutes Yoona excused herself to go to an acting class. She gave Seunggi a quick kiss on the cheek, then she was off. They both watched her leave, her dress swaying with every step she made. When Yuri turned around, Seunggi was looking at her. He smiled confidently and leaned back into his chair, putting his hands nonchalantly in his lap.

‘’You’re quite a nice person Yuri-sshi. I can really see why Yoona has taken such a shine to you. That is why I want to continue our conversation from earlier. You see, I’ve heard so much about you as well.’’

‘’Oh is that so?’’

‘’Yes. So many interesting things.’’

‘’Please tell me what you’ve heard. I would very much like to know.’’

Seunggi chuckled and shook his head at that. He crossed his legs, his hands still in his lap, and stared right at her with a sly smile.

‘’Oh no I couldn’t possibly. It’s all just meaningless gossip, most of it anyway.''

''No, no, even then, I really think you should tell. I wouldn't want you to see me in a bad light.''

He smiled again, baring his teeth.

''Dear Yuri-sshi. How could you say such a thing? I wouldn't know a bad rumour about you, please. I don't talk down on people like that.''

''Please forgive me, I find that hard to believe. Surely everyone talks down on someone every now and then.''

''Perhaps you are right. Maybe it is in the human psyche. I don't know much about you, truthfully. I've heard some things, yes, but I would like to console you by saying the gossip about you is the least offensive I've heard around this school.''

He paused in his conversation, as if about to make a point.

''Well consider me flattered.'' Yuri deadpanned. He chuckled.

''But!'' He exclaimed, ''I do find it very interesting that you are prone to visit certain places. Which I know for a fact.’’

It was Yuri’s time to laugh now. Did he really think he was intimidating to her? This pretty, middle-class young man with his soft voice and public school manners?

‘’What? Clubs? I really don’t think that’s very scandalous now. Most people here visit those places. Of course, not people like you, but it’s not something to talk about.’’

‘’Hmm, yes. Clubs. Of course, I’m talking about a very specific type of club. You find yourself often in places like Itaewon?’’

Yuri felt as if her stomach had dropped to her knees. She struggled to give an answer but she waited too long. He’d now found out for sure.

‘’I thought so, yes. You’re a very nice girl, truly I mean that. However I’m sure you can see I wouldn’t like Yoona to be associated with certain things or with certain people. I won’t tell anyone of course because that won’t do me any favour but I’m afraid these things always get found out at some point. Therefore I think it would be best if you had a less personal relationship with Yoona. For her sake.’’

She didn’t answer. All she could hear was her blood drumming in her ears. He knew. Christ, he knew. Who else knew? What was she going to do if someone important found out? Sooyoung, or Hyoyeon, Yoona! Or even her parents! How did it happen? When did it happen? But she’d always been so careful -  Seunggi stood up and reached out his hand, looking like prince charming again. Every bit of slyness had disappeared. As if in a trance-like state, she shook his hand. It was her defeat.

‘’So nice to finally have a proper chat.’’

•  •  •

Jungah leaned over the bar, propping her head up with her left hand. With her right she extended a drink out to Yuri.

‘’Yo,’’ she said, smiling, her eyes forming half moons. ‘’What’s up? What has happened?’’

Yuri accepted the drink. She greeted her unnie, stirring the straw in the drink. ‘’Why are you asking that?’’ she said. Taking a sip from the drink she coughed. It was almost exclusively vodka.

‘’Whenever you’re here, you’re in trouble. You come in and sit there in the corner, looking gloomy and scaring my customers away.’’

She said. Yuri knew she didn’t mean it menacingly. She staid silent and Jungah sighed, coming to sit on the bar stool next to her. Softly she her cheek. It made Yuri feel surprisingly calm, even though she could hear the music pumping in her ear and the laughter and yelling of various people in the club. It was very busy at the bar, Saturday was always the best night. She had considered not coming because of the hustle and bustle but Jungah had always been the one to cheer her up in the past.

‘’Come on, you can tell your unnie. I’ll help you with whatever it is so don’t be ashamed. The wisdom of the elder is here to guide your way.’’

Jungah joked and Yuri had to let out a small laugh at that, even though her chest still felt cramped.

‘’Do you need some alcohol before you can tell me? Should I get some soju?’’ She was already turning around and signing to the bar woman.

‘’No!’’ Yuri cried out. ‘’No. I want to discuss this just like this.’’ Jungah turned around again and went to sit next to her. She crossed her arms and legs and looked at her with kind eyes.

‘’I’m listening. Tell unnie all about it.’’

‘’Okay, so… it’s not exactly a ‘problem’ that I’ve been having but I’ve been thinking about something. A couple of weeks ago I had a conversation with this guy at my university. He basically implied that he knew, you know, about me…’’

‘’You can say it honey, there’s nothing but dykes here-‘’

‘’Unnie! Serious conversation, okay? Anyway. That’s not the problem because he already said he won’t tell anyone. I was very shocked when he told me that though and I was very surprised by the fear that I felt. I was so afraid he would tell everyone and that I would be made a fool. That I would be all alone, again…’’

Yuri shocked on the last sentence, a sob escaping . She quickly found her strength again and cleared .

‘’So what I thought was: why not tell people? Not my parents, obviously, but I thought I might be open about it at university. I don’t mean to scream it from the rooftops but if anyone asks, I’ll just be truthful. I feel like most people wouldn’t care. It would be such a heavy burden from my shoulders. Never having to feign an interest in boys, not having to go on dates with them… all that stuff. Not having to lie! That’s the worst part.’’

Jungah stretched her arms out and put them behind her head, tilting her head from side to side.

‘’Well honey I think that’s a good idea. I mean, when I was at university-‘’

‘’Which was of course a decade ago-‘’

‘’Hush! When I was at university, I could never have imagined such a thing but I really believe people have changed. I first started this bar, what, five years ago? Back then it was almost completely empty, even on Saturday. Nobody dared to come. And look at it now! Even straight people come here every now and then.’’

‘’Well I’m glad you think of it like that. I really feel it’s something I have to do.’’

‘’Yes. A bit disappointed you didn’t start weeping at some point though.’’

Yuri raised her eyebrow, annoyed at that remark.

‘’Excuse me?’’

‘’Yeah, so I could press your head against my shoulder!’’

‘’Honestly unnie, you’re so lame.’’

Jungah just giggled again. Haven given her permission, Yuri put her head against Jungah’s shoulder, who wrapped her arms around Yuri’s waist. They swayed in time with the music for a bit. When a faster track came on, Jungah began moving very quickly with the music like a kid high on sugar.

‘’Yah!’’ Yuri cried, ‘’you want to get me killed? You can’t do that! It hurts my neck!’’

Jungah laughed, finding herself hysterically funny. She flailed her hands around as if dancing to the music.

‘’Alright, alright. I can’t do that.’’

She looked at Yuri. Slowly leaning in, she took hold of her chin and tilted her head.

‘’How about this?’’ It was barely audible over the loud music playing. Yuri closed her eyes and she felt Jungah’s lips against hers. Her left hand found Jungah’s. After a couple of seconds they parted, now breathing heavily. Yuri laughed, her chest feeling much lighter.

‘’That’s okay, I think.’’

She joked and Jungah smiled back.

‘’Great. Now for those drinks…’’

•  •  •

AN: Itaewon is a place with a lot of gay bars, if you didn't know that already. That's why Seunggi mentions it.