Chapter 14

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As soon as Yoona woke up she could hear the buzzing noise of people having quiet conversations, see the white walls that weren’t hers and feel the warmth from the big light next to the bed. She immediately sat up, startled, but this made her vision blur so she lay down again. On her wrist was a white strap. She was lying in a large white bed with her own pyjamas still on. Next to her lay some of her own clothes on the nightstand. She moved her head and looked around the room. There were some machines around, making soft beeping noises every now and then. It seemed like a hospital. From the hallway two people stopped their conversation and entered the room. She recognized them immediately and smiled.

‘’Hello appa, Yuri-yah.’’ She scanned Yuri’s face for any sign of nervousness but she only found relief. Her father hugged her and gave her an embarrassingly big kiss. She could see that he had been very worried.

‘’You scare your father, Yoona! How worried I was! When I heard the news I came immediately!’’

‘’Appa, I thought you were in Seoul for business…? Am I in the hospital? I don’t understand what’s going on.’’

‘’You’re in the hospital,’’ the unfamiliar but kind voice of a nurse that had just entered the room said, ‘’you fainted from exhaustion. We had to take a look at your condition. We gave you a ringer’s injection but it doesn’t appear to be anything serious. You’ll have to stay the night so we can monitor your situation but we expect you’ll be able to go home tomorrow – or rather, today.’’

Yoona blinked and looked at her father and Yuri who were standing by her bed.

‘’What time is it?’’ she asked, puzzled.

‘’It’s almost 2:30. Seunggi called me because he didn’t know what to do and we took you to the hospital.’’ Yuri answered. Yoona’s mouth made a soft ‘oh’. The unspoken question hung in the air, creating tension.

‘’I think perhaps you and your friend want to talk a bit,’’ the nurse said and she shot a quick look to her father who nodded in agreement, ‘’but don’t talk too long. Your friend can come pick you up tomorrow with your father and you can talk more then. However your condition was very weak when you were brought in but we don’t think it’s something that can’t be cured by sleep and lack of stress. So sleep, my child.’’

‘’I will ma’am.’’ Yoona said and bowed slightly. The nurse smiled and walked out of the room.

‘’Yoona-yah, I’m going to my office now. Because I left in a hurry there are some things that I need to catch up on. After that I really need to sleep, will you be alright without me?’’ her father had already grabbed his coat and suitcase again. His question was sincere. Yoona could tell he’d much rather stay here with his daughter and comfort her. So she beckoned him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

‘’I’ll be fine, appa. Just need some sleep. Thank you so much for coming. I’ll see you tomorrow.’’

Her father smiled and pinched her cheeks.

‘’See you tomorrow. My little troublemaker!’’

He looked at Yuri, hesitated, and then awkwardly shook her hand as a way of saying goodbye. Then they were left alone. Yuri closed the door of the room and went to sit on the chair next to the hospital bed. The cup of water in her hand she put on the bedside table. They both avoided each other’s eyes and listened quietly to the sound of the devices measuring Yoona’s heartbeat buzz on into the night. Then Yuri began to talk, softly.

‘’He called me a couple of hours ago. I was working in the restaurant and I hung up because I thought he called to taunt me or something. He just kept on calling until I listened. He said you two had had a fight and that you just fell down and he didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know either, of course, so I decided we should take you to hospital.’’

She was silent for a while, moving her rings around. Yoona grabbed hold of the soft cotton blanket.

‘’Did he tell you…?’’ she asked and dared to look at Yuri. She looked back and nodded.

‘’He told me I had to take care of you now. He told me he had felt that he wasn’t able to protect you. He seemed very confused when we came here. He was talking nonsense and he looked like a mad men. I think he was in shock, really, but he didn’t want to stay however much we tried to persuade him. When he left he told me he was going to his parents’ house.’’

She stood up and came to stand next to the bed. She took hold of Yoona’s hand and took off the silver diamond ring.

‘’I think this is in order.’’ She said and Yoona smiled, albeit bitterly.

‘’I think so too.’’

Yuri pulled the chair closer to the bed so she and Yoona could sit with their hands intertwined. Is this alright, Yuri asked, and Yoona said it was very much al right, yes and thanks for asking.

‘’I missed you.’’ Yuri said finally and she broke out in tears. Yoona, shocked, clasped their hands tighter. Yuri was obviously embarrassed and wiped her tears away quickly, smiling a little crooked.

‘’Look at me. I must be a crazy person.’’

Yoona just leaned forward and her hair until Yuri’s sobs quieted down and both of them were left breathing slowly, tranquil.

‘’I missed you too.’’ Yoona said and paused for a moment. ‘’What will we do now? So much has changed.’’

‘’I want to give this a shot. If you want to, too.’’

Yoona laughed and Yuri’s arm with her hand.

‘’Me too. I want to try being in love with you, properly.’’

Yuri put her hand on Yoona’s and smiled. She leaned in and, mustering up all the courage that she still had in that moment, gave the other girl a soft, tender kiss. Despite her tired state Yoona still felt her stomach flutter and a smile found its way up to her lips. She sat back and both girls giggled. Then Yuri sighed and her expression became more serious again. She stood up and grabbed Yoona’s cushion for her and put it back so that she could sit up more comfortably. When she sat down again she began to talk.

‘’Aren’t you afraid it will be uncomfortable?’’ she asked.

‘’I think it will definitely be in the beginning but after that it will be as if nothing happened. I don’t know what people will say or how they will react but who cares? I don’t have any real friends at school anyway. I can do without those 5-minute chit-chats during lunch.’’

‘’My friends already know I’m gay so they won’t mind… but what about our parents?’’

Yoona hesitated for a moment. She had never thought about that. She never thought the possibility of her having a relationship with Yuri would ever became so real that she’d have to worry about these things. For months she had been thinking about being with Yuri, just that. She never worried about what society would think, or the people close to her. But now it seemed to have a lot of obstacles. What if the news spread and she wouldn’t be booked for recitals anymore? And, indeed, what about her father? She didn’t know his views on these kind of relationships. It wasn’t something they discussed.

‘’I think we should wait. Let’s just be dear friends, first. They might not understand.’’

Yuri nodded.

‘’I feel the same way. I haven’t told my parents I’m gay either.’’

‘’Yuri…’’ Yoona began, not quite sure how to phrase this, ‘’how did you find out… that you were… you know?’’

‘’Gay? Well I just… I’ve always known. I never liked boys and I liked girls. There was just never a name for it until I tumbled upon this site for gay women a couple of years ago when I was in middle school. They described that they had crushes on girls in their class and their disinterest in men and it just clicked in my head. I always knew and now I can call it by a name. Why? Aren’t you sure you’re gay?’’ she grinned, knowingly. Yoona nodded and Yuri ruffled her hair playfully.

‘’Well you don’t have to be sure. You might be biual or something. Or just Yuri-ual.’’ She joked and Yoona laughed, playfully tapping Yuri on the arm.

‘’What the hell is that?’’ she cried. They both laughed with each other. Outside, an owl singing. In the hall there was a faded light on and only a few people trotted by, most of them personnel. In the night, the hospital itself appeared to be asleep. Both of the girls felt how tired they were and Yoona yawned. Yuri repositioned her cushion again and stood up, looking at the hallway.

‘’I think I should go. That nurse told me not to stay too long.’’

Yoona pouted.

‘’Don’t look at me like that. You have to get better. To get better you have to sleep. I’m making you ill like this! Is that what you want?’’ she joked.

Yoona pushed the sheets aside and moved over. She patted the mattress and looked up hopefully at Yuri who made a face. She puffed her cheeks and pretended to be angry.

‘’Come on! We’ll sleep, I promise. You’ll make me get better. Are you really going to deny a sick person their wish?’’

‘’Aish, you’re so good at whining, aren’t you! Fine. But if that nurse comes to check in and scolds us, you have to tell them it was your idea.’’

‘’’s okay.’’

And so Yuri climbed into the bed together with Yoona. She took off her sweatshirt and lay down next to her. It was very cramped so the two had to lie almost on each other, which made Yoona giggle even more.

‘’This is such a bad idea.’’ Yuri murmured into the pillow, half teasing and half serious. Yoona put her arm around Yuri’s waist and buried her head in the back of her hair.

‘’Visitors are allowed to sleep in these rooms.’’ Yoona stated dryly.

‘’I don’t suppose they meant like this!’’ Yuri exclaimed but Yoona didn’t react. She was still waiting for the other girl to say something when she could hear her soft breath and feel it on the back of her neck. She was sure Yoona would have felt her heartbeat as it was going faster than she thought was humanly possible, but the girl was sound asleep. Yuri closed her eyes as well and fell asleep after a while, the warmth of their cosy embrace sending her off to sleep.

The nurse that checked in on Yoona at 4:00 just smiled.

Patient is sound asleep. Heartbeat slightly raised.