Chapter 3

•  •  •

‘’I’m home!’’ Yoona shouted, closing the door behind her. Immediately, two big dogs come running towards her, wagging their tails happily. Yoona crouched and petted them both. She smiled and buried her head in their fur. From the kitchen a person shouted a hello. Yoona recognised Joohyun’s voice. She was sitting at their kitchen table, surrounded by books, and looked up when Yoona came in. Yoona threw her bag on the table and immediately opened the fridge.

‘’Annyoung unnie. I hope you don’t mind, I let myself in.’’ Joohyun said. Grabbing a tub of ice cream, Yoona went to sit opposite of her friend.

‘’You don’t have to apologise for letting yourself in, that’s why we gave you the key.’’ With a large spoon, Yoona started eating the ice cream. Joohyun frowned. Yoona almost couldn’t hide her smile, knowing she was going to receive a scolding.

‘’Did you eat lunch well, unnie? I was going to wait for you but then you were late… are you really going to eat that?’’ she pointed at the ice cream with great disgust, as if Yoona had just shown her something really unpleasant. Yoona just nodded and teasingly added:

‘’Why? Do you want some?’’

Joohyun’s face became stern now. ‘’That’s so bad for you unnie! Healthy eating is the basis for a good life. Our body is our temple, we’re only given one! We should cherish it, not ruin it.’’ She said. She huffed and wrinkled her nose, like she always did when she was irritated. Then she pulled something out of her bag, as if she’d been waiting for this to happen, and handed it out to Yoona.

‘’I made this yesterday. They’re healthy sweet-potato crisps. Eat this.’’ She said. Yoona looked at the bag suspiciously. Joohyun was very good at cooking, but she wasted all her time cooking weird healthy things. Couldn’t she just bake cookies and cakes?

‘’I’m sure I can take care of my own health.’’ Yoona said and pointedly took another bite of the ice cream.

‘’Yes, I’m sure you can.’’ Joohyun said, looking Yoona in the eyes, and shook the bag. She wasn’t going to give in. Yoona rolled her eyes and grabbed the bag. Joohyun was now content and went back to her studying. Yawning, Yoona stretched out her arms. Taking her cell phone out of her bag, she looked if there were any messages. None. She wondered when Yuri was going to send her a message. The journey home had been quite long… she could already have texted. Maybe Yuri was busy. Actually, Yoona was sure she was busy; she seemed like a really popular girl. Didn’t she say she normally sat with her friends at lunch? She didn’t know why Yuri had wanted to sit with her that day. Somehow, that made her a bit disappointed. She could lunch with Seo, of course, but she had really wanted to spend more time with Yuri. Thinking about it, she was getting really frustrated. Why did she care? Waiting for a text like a teenage girl with a crush… ridiculous.

‘’Aish!’’ she mumbled. ‘’So frustrating.’’ Joohyun didn’t even look up at that, she was used to Yoona’s habit of thinking out loud. Yoona pouted and looked at her phone again. Still no messages. Slowly, she stuck her hand in the bag of crisps and tried one.

They were really delicious. Not that she was going to tell Joohyun that anyway. Opposite her, Joohyun smiled.

•  •  •

‘’Waitress, some more soju here please!’’ she heard someone shout. ‘’Yes!’’ she said, wiping some sweat off her forehead. Sneaking a glance at the clock, she saw it was already 1:00 AM, and the customers didn’t seem to be leaving soon. After that, she still had to prepare for lectures, then sleep, get up again at six… she felt so tired she might faint. Walking into the kitchen she beat on the door.

‘’Ya! I need pork! Why is it taking so long? Are you still butchering them or what!’’ she shouted, angrily.

‘’I’m trying! I’ve been stuck in this bloody kitchen for twelve hours already, yeah?’’ her brother shouted back. Cry harder, Yuri thought, you don’t have to go university as well. Good looks certainly ran in the family. Unfortunately, good brains did not and Yuri was one of the few people in her family that even attended university. Normally she didn’t mind working in her father’s restaurant. It was small, with just three tables inside and three outside as well. The clients were mostly from the neighbourhood, so they were kind to her. But still, she didn’t like it when work interfered with her social life. She thanked God for the fact Yoona probably lived far away from her, in some big expensive house and would never see her this way. That would be the ultimate humiliation. She served the soju, and then rushed back to the kitchen to put the dirty dishes in hot water. She hissed when the water burned her gloved hand. Suddenly she heard her father’s voice behind her and gave a shriek.

‘’Calm down Yuri-yah, it’s just me.’’ He said calmly. Yuri smiled and put her wet hand on her chest.

‘’Appa, you surprised me.’’ He smiled back. He was a small man, calm, and a hard worker. She always felt he was a great source of inspiration for her and admired him deeply. All that he had, he had built himself. This restaurant, however small, was a part of that.

‘’I think it’s time for your break, isn’t it? You’ve worked hard today, thank you my daughter.’’

‘’Ah appa, not at all, I won’t stop until the last guests are gone. You can’t have mother be the only waitress right now!’’ Her father put his hand on her back soothingly and shook his head.

‘’It’s only three tables. We know these people, they’re patient. Go inside Yuri-yah, and work on your studies. That’s what more important right now.’’

Yuri smiled and gave her father a small bow as a thank you. She untied her apron and let her hair fall loose. Behind her, her brother began to protest.

‘’What about me? I’ve been working all day!’’

‘’Call me when you get an education.’’ Her father replied immediately. Yuri had to hide her laughter behind her hand. She walked the stairs up to their small home. In her room, she stripped off her clothes and grabbed a towel. On her desk, between the clutter of books and pens, she saw her phone. She had totally forgotten to text that girl! If she texted her now she might wake her up. Phone in hand, she bit her lip. Should she? Yoona seemed like a studious girl. She might still be up. She would text, Yuri decided. Sitting on her bed, she wondered what she would write. She didn’t know why she worried so much about making a good impression on this girl. People liking her usually came easy to her. This girl though, she really was something else. She was like something out of a manhwa. Yuri pouted. It was already too late. The text wasn’t perfect, but it had to do. With trembling fingers, she pressed ‘send’.

•  •  •

‘’Faster, faster, no, now you’re going too fast! Crescendo Yoona crescendo! No, stop, it’s all wrong.’’

Her piano teacher tapped her fingers and looked at her sternly. Yoona bowed her head in embarrassment. Her playing just now had been undoubtedly bad. Ms Park tapped the sheet music, and started flipping through it. Every page she shook her head. Abruptly she stopped and looked at her.

‘’What’s wrong with you lately? I can’t remember the last time you played well. Don’t you want to do this? If you don’t, just tell me and we can stop. You’ll save your parents a lot of money. The way you play right now is ridiculous. I would laugh at you for even trying, but I know you. You can do better. Why don’t you?’’

‘’I’m sorry miss, it’s just that Rachmaninov is very hard and I’ve been feeling unwell lately… the music makes me feel sad. When I practice it, I can’t focus, it just makes me feel too much.’’

Ms Park signed for her to begin playing again.

‘’That’s good. True musicians are one with their music. Rachmaninov isn’t just depressing though. It’s passionate. His music speaks of nightmarish visions, of loss and sadness, but there is also a very strong hope in his music. There’s a desire. If you can’t hear that you won’t play well. Stop!’’

Yoona stopped again. She felt like she was on the verge of tears. Honestly, she was trying, but it had been two hours already and it felt like her fingers just weren’t listening. Stretching out her fingers, she winced in pain. After breaking them they became very stiff if she played any longer than an hour. She clenched her fists. She wanted this, but the more she played the more the tune was depressing her and Ms Park’s harsh words weren’t helping. She wasn’t going to cry though, not here. If there was a fact in this world, it was that Im Yoona wasn’t weak.

‘’Yoona,’’ she said and she snapped her fingers in front of Yoona’s face, ‘’look at me. When I tell you that you should feel one with the music you just play harder, or faster. That’s what amateurs do. I’m the one person in this world who has heard you play more than anyone else. I want you to think of something you’re passionate about. Think of a person you love or of something that makes you feel like that’s the only thing in this world. Now, once again, from the beginning.’’

Yoona began. After two bars, Ms Park sighed loudly and stood up.

‘’Go home, Yoona. It’s not going to work today. I hope you’ll be better next time or you’re wasting both our time.’’

Swallowing the lump in , Yoona nodded and stood up as well. She thanked Ms Park and left. Outside, she pulled her phone out her bag and started walking towards the metro station. It was already 0:48 AM. The wind was cold and she’d stupidly forgotten to wear a coat, even though Joohyun had told her to so many times. Yuri hadn’t messaged her after all. She had probably forgotten her immediately after, maybe she just liked helping first-years like that. Maybe Yoona was one of the many. She felt a pang of jealousy in her stomach. Tears started to form in her eyes. The metro was almost completely empty, and the ugly fluorescent tubes flickered above her head. In her head there was the familiar tune of Rachmaninov’s prelude in C minor.  

Opening the front door, she saw the two dogs lying at the bottom of the couch in the living room. In the kitchen, Joohyun had left her the crisps and cleaned up their dinner. It was obvious her father hadn’t been home today, there was no sign of him.

Without switching on the lights, she dropped her bag in the hall and crawled up on the couch by her dogs. Finally, tears fell across her face. She closed her eyes and let loneliness consume her.

~ ~ ~

The piece Yoona has to play is this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXQCPAR0EHo

I'd strongly recommend a listen!