Chapter 4

•  •  •

Unknown number: hello~ this is Yuri speaking! Just making sure I’ve got the right number. Yoona-sshi, should we speak comfortably? Since I want us to be friends… ^^

You: hi! This is Yoona’s number~ we can speak comfortably! I prefer it. How are you today?

You have renamed «Unknown number» as «Kwon Yuri».

Kwon Yuri: I’m fine ^^ today was good. How was your day? All is well. Are those your dogs in your profile pic?

You: I’m alright. Schoolwork is hard, though TT TT those are my dogs, yes, aren’t they cute? do you like dogs? Who is that with you in your profile pic? Is she a friend?

Kwon Yuri: is this a cross-examination?

You: Unnie! I’m just a curious person ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Kwon Yuri: I like dogs. Your dogs are especially cute. The person with me in the picture is my friend Hyoyeon, she’s really funny, you’d like her. You might see her around the campus actually; she’s studying Economics in my class. Now, can I ask you a question?

You: sure.

Kwon Yuri: Do you like movies?

You: of course!

Kwon Yuri: Do you want to go to the movies with me this Saturday?

You: I’d love to.

•  •  •

The weather was rough. The gentle autumn sun had given way to heavy winds and rain. Yoona was waiting in front of the McDonalds in a short, thin dress, trying to further crawl into her coat. When she spotted Yuri, she quickly jumped up and waved at her. She was very exited about today, for some reason. Yuri asked her to go with her. She wanted her to be her friend.

Yoona may always have been a popular girl, but that didn’t mean she received affection. All her life people had wanted to be friends with her, whether for her good looks, her intelligence, or her aptitude in sports, but they never wanted to be her friend.

A strong gush of wind suddenly struck and the skirt of her dress was hiked up to her belly button. Yoona shrieked loudly while Yuri laughed at her. Laughing, Yoona hit her on her shoulder.

‘’You shouldn’t laugh!’’ she shouted, ‘’people inside may have seen! I’m so embarrassed!’’ but she’s laughing. Yuri seemed to find the whole thing hilarious.

‘’What are you, Marilyn Monroe?’’

‘’Not at all.’’

‘’You look very pretty though.’’ Yuri said then, seriously. Yoona didn’t know why, but she felt a warm feeling in her stomach and the blood in her veins seemed to change to some sort of electric current. On the outside, she just smiled.

‘’You look very cool too. I really like the way you dress, it makes me feel like I should’ve tried harder.’’ Yuri waved her hand at that and opened the door for her to go inside. They ordered and then went to sit in a quiet corner of the restaurant.

‘’I’m sorry we had to go here.’’ Yuri said as they sat down. ‘’I’m sure you’re used to much better places than these, but I can’t afford much, what with the costs of studying.’’

Yoona frowned and grabbed a couple of fries. ‘’Not at all. I’m not a snob you know, this is just fine.’’

Truthfully, Yoona was used to ‘better’ places than these, if one were to measure restaurants in the quality of food and the cost of a meal. She was used to grand places in historical or indeed very modern buildings, with waiters in expensive suits, her in a gorgeous 300 000 won dress. But that didn’t mean a restaurant was good. In Yoona’s mind, those restaurants and all their fanciness meant accompanying her father on stiff business meetings, awkward birthday party’s (hers or her father’s), and benefits where she had to play some stale piano piece void of any emotion. If McDonalds meant Yuri, she could grow to love it.

Yuri looked apologetic at that.

‘’I didn’t mean to sound rude. It’s just noticeable that you’re pretty good off, what with your fancy piano classes and all. And I can see the YSL-logo on your bag. I googled it, I know the price.’’ She winked at Yoona. Embarassed, Yoona put the bag on the chair next to her. Yuri laughed and motioned towards it.

‘’You don’t have to do that! Let’s not talk about money, anyway. What do you want to talk about? Please tell me something about yourself.’’

‘’What do you want to know? I’m a boring person, I don’t know what to say.’’

Yuri leaned her head on her hands and looked at her. Her eyes were gentle, her gaze was warm. Yoona felt her heart beating in her chest. Sitting here at this table with Yuri, eating this food, somehow she felt more comfortable than she had ever been. It was already dark outside, the yellow streetlights giving the street a picturesque view.

She remembered when she was seven and together with her father she’d make trips to the mountains. After a long day, they would go back by train, in the dark. She’d sit next to him in an almost empty carriage, leaning against him. She would feel his heartbeat in his chest, and his warmth would radiate against her. Drowsy, she’d drift in and out of sleep, only waking up to see visions of the snow outside falling gently and the lights of the houses from tiny villages passing by. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she could registrer very faintly the mumbling voices of the other passengers, speaking softly, never quite making out any words.

Sitting here, she felt that same feeling. She felt secure, safe.

‘’Anything you want to. Tell me.’’

‘’Well… I don’t like being a ‘snob’, as you so nicely put it, but I do love my piano. It’s the best gift my parents could ever have given me. When I play piano, I forget everything around me. Do you listen to classical music?’’ Yuri gave a small nod, mumbling ‘sometimes’.

‘’To me, it’s the most beautiful music in the world. Not because I think it’s better than the rest or something pretentious like that, but because it tells a story. Listening to it, I can imagine whole lives, I can imagine people loving each other, I can imagine losses… everything. The instruments sing. Everything in this world fades away and all that matters is what the music is telling me.’’

Without noticing, Yoona had closed her eyes. Suddenly she opened them and smiled sheepishly.

‘’I’m so sorry, I must be boring you.’’ She laughed. Yuri was still looking at her with that gentle gaze. Yoona again felt that warm feeling in her chest that she’d felt when she had complimented her earlier. She shifted in her chair and anxiously avoided eye contact.

‘’Not at all,’’ said Yuri then, breaking her gaze. ‘’I think it’s wonderful you’ve got something you’re so passionate about. I love music as well.’’ She paused for a moment, pondering on something.

‘’I’ll tell you a secret.’’ She said then, lowering her voice and leaning in. Yoona leaned in as well. Yuri’s hands were on the table, almost touching hers.

‘’I’ve never told any of my friends this, because I’m afraid they might laugh at me. When I was younger, I always wanted to be a dancer. I was going to go to Seoul and join one of the big companies. In my head, it was all planned out. But then my brother started failing in high school. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not his fault but it was eminent he wasn’t going to be able to attend university. So I had to. With that, I gave up my dream. My family has a restaurant you know? So when my father dies, my brother will take over. They wanted me to have a better life.’’

She looked down at her hands, seeming melancholy all of a sudden. Yoona moved somewhat and their fingertips met. She looked deep in Yuri’s eyes then.

‘’I think you’re a brave person. I understand your family’s heart. However, I think you should be the one to choose your path. Have you never told them that?’’

Yuri shook her head. Swiftly she leaned back into her seat and ran her hand through her hair.

‘’No, because I agree with them. It’s hard being an artist isn’t it? This is the real world. I don’t mean you can’t make it as an artist – you can, I’m sure, but I’m too old and I would never succeed. I truly believe that. Also I want to be a daughter they can be proud of. They can be proud of me being the best in this field, rather than somebody who’s an average dancer. I’m good at this.’’

‘’But you don’t enjoy it.’’

‘’I suppose I don’t. But I don’t want to talk about me.’’

She picked at her fries.

‘’ Just tell me about you.’’ Suddenly a grin broke over Yuri’s face. ‘’Tell me about your dogs.’’

At this, Yoona smiled broadly as well.

‘’You want to know what they’re called?’’

Yuri nodded enthousiastically.

‘’One is called Kim… the other is called Chi.’’ Yuri threw her head back, laughing. Yoona had to laugh as well, her shoulders shaking.

‘’What the hell?! What kind of elementary school kid are you?’’

Yoona laughed, tears now running down her face. She waved her hands dismissively above her head.

‘’I have an excuse! I was only ten years old!’’ Yuri grabbed her stomach, which hurt from laughing too hard. It was a silly thing but it broke the mood. She looked at her watch.

‘’We’ll be late if we don’t go to the cinema now! Let’s go, quickly!’’ she said. Yoona’s eyes widened.

‘’It’s already so late?’’ she said, quickly stuffing with fries. She hadn’t eaten a thing, Yuri demanding she do most of the talking. She was still stuffing fries into while Yuri put all the stuff back into her and Yoona’s bags, and grabbed Yoona’s hand.

‘’Hurry up! We’ll be late!’’ She took Yoona by hand towards the exit. Yoona laughed and let herself be dragged by Yuri. In her stomach she felt that light, warm feeling again. She didn’t think she could ever not smile again.

•  •  •

Yoona pulled the 3D glasses off of her face and gave them back to the employee of the cinema. Yuri followed her into the lobby.

‘’Did you like the film?’’ she asked. Yoona nodded excitedly. ‘’I really liked the action sequences!’’ she said, miming the shooting of a large shotgun while going ‘boom, boom!’ not very lady-like the whole time. Both girls laughed again.

‘’So what do we do now?’’ Yoona asked then. Suddenly, she felt a hand on her shoulder that wasn’t Yuri’s.

‘’Hello.’’ It was a man Yoona didn’t recognise, seemingly a few years older than her. Yoona roughly pushed the hand off of her shoulder and turned around, taking a step closer to Yuri. She felt paralyzed all of a sudden, unsure of what to say. This wasn’t the first time she’d been in a situation like this but she still felt afraid, each time.

‘’Can I help you?’’ Yuri said harshly. The man wasn’t alone, there were two others. Yuri stepped closer to Yoona.

‘’Oh, I think you can.’’ Said the man, giving her a full look-over, then raising his eyebrows. Beside him, his friends laughed and high fived each other.

‘’I don’t think so.’’ Said Yuri, who had gone to stand in front of Yoona. ‘’We’re not interested, okay? I’m sure there are other girls here who are, find them.’’ She said. Yoona wished they would just leave. Why did they have to ruin this evening?

‘’We’re interested in you though. Why? Two young girls, aren’t you interested? You don’t have a boyfriend do you?’’ the man’s friend said now. He seemed to be slurring his words. Now Yoona noticed the glazed look all the men had. They definitely weren’t sober.

Yuri’s hand reached for Yoona’s. Yoona understood the signal. She had lived in a big city for years. Girls learned what to do. She moved closer to Yuri and started whispering. One, two, three…

They ran.

•  •  •

‘’I’m sorry about that.’’ Yuri said, shrugging off her coat. Yoona shook her head violently.

‘’No! It’s not your fault at all. Don’t apologise. Besides, nothing happened.’’ She sighed deeply and let herself fall on her bed. She rolled over and propped herself up on her arm.

‘’I hate men when they’re like that. It’s so vulgar, so mean… I just can’t understand it. Surely there aren’t any girls who fall for that?’’ She frowned. She pointed to her desk-chair. ‘’Anyway, your pyjama is on there. I hope it fits you, just say if it doesn’t and I’ll give you another.’’

Yuri stood up and took the pyjama from the chair. The pyjama was softer than any pair she had at home. It must have been pure silk. When they got out of the metro station, Yuri couldn’t believe her eyes. She knew the neighbourhood Yoona lived in, indeed, she knew it by heart.

As a young girl, she had had many passions, dancing being one of the many. Swimming was one of those as well. She used to have tournaments in a grand swimming pool situated in this area. She remembered nights of her and her friends walking in this neighbourhood, pointing at the houses they wanted to have when they grew up.

She remembers lying awake at night, trying to imagine what kind of people would live in these grand houses. Behind the daunting fence, the large driveway, and the striking European-styled doors. From the white bricks to the large gardens behind the houses, to the cars that cost more that everything their family owned, these buildings seemed to breathe money, the people seemed to sweat it from every pore.

Yoona fit in perfectly. It’s exactly why Yuri doesn’t understand why she is here. She’s still the same old Yuri. Yuri that works in an ugly apron, that works in her father’s old shop, Yuri with her mediocre study and her undistinguished dreams.

‘’I don’t understand men either.’’ She says. I don’t care to, she doesn’t say. ‘’Where should I change?’’

Yoona points to another door. Yuri goes through and finds the bathroom, equally as beautiful as Yoona’s bedroom. Quickly she puts on the pyjama. It’s soft and warm. It smells like Yoona’s perfume. She closes her eyes for a moment. Then she shakes her head. She mustn’t do this. Not again. One would believe she’s just looking to have her heart broken.

But she can’t help her feelings. She can’t help being silly, wanting to see Yoona’s smile for just one more second. She can’t help her heart speeding up when she can see Yoona when she doesn’t notice, so beautiful words can’t do her justice. Feeling her happiness is more than Yuri could have ever wished for. They have only known each other for such a short time, but Yuri is already falling.

A crush, people would probably call it, but it’s a bad crush. It will evolve into love, and then Yoona might start to notice, or she won’t, either way it will end naturally. Yuri isn’t sure which option will cause her more pain. She wants to admit her feelings, shout them from the top of her lungs. It’s as if every molecule in her body has that deep desire.

But she can’t. That’s why she splashes water on her face and goes back into Yoona’s room. Yoona lookes up from the book she's reading and smiles. Yuri goes to lie inside the bedroll beside Yoona’s bed. She closes her eyes and pretends not to hear Yoona change, not to hear the soft sigh she makes when she’s almost falling asleep, and her almost-snoring when her dreams fall over her. She watches Yoona and wonders what might have been.