Sorry this is out so late. I was studying for my Japanese exam tomorrow. (Weeb level status.) I'm just going to go sit in a corner as punishment. Have fun reading. ^^ Please review.  

A week passed and there still no sign of Himchan waking up. Yongguk attempted to go about his life as normally as he could but it was hard. He went to the hospital every day to check up on him, but each time he was disappointed. There were several times were Himchan’s parents invited him over for dinner so he wouldn’t have to be alone all the time. He was truly grateful that they would do something like that. During that week Yongguk got a call from his mother. It wasn’t anything bad, just their normal check up call, this time though it wasn’t as happy as his mother would have liked.

Fortunately things were speed up a little with Yongguk having already told his mom he was gay years ago, so at the least he didn’t have to explain why he was having these feelings.

“Oh god mom I don’t know what to do right now. I’m trying so hard to go about my daily life but it’s just so empty without him. His parents are helping a lot though; they’re actually really sweet to me. It’s just… If only I had been there.”

“Bang Yongguk don’t you dare blame yourself for this. I can’t really say much but from what I’ve heard I can assure you that this isn’t your fault. Sure maybe if you were there you might have been able to help, but you were off attempting to help him in a different way. I’m really glad you’re trying to lead a normal life though; it relieves me to hear it. Hey give me a moment, I need to go ask your father something.”

“Yeah sure.”

Yongguk leaned against the couch as he listened to his mother and father talking about something, she had clearly left the phone where she was talking or else he might have heard him clearer. A few minutes later he could hear his mother walking back, the receiver being picked up from where ever it sat.

“Your father and I are gonna fly out to visit you. We should get there by tomorrow night. Can we lodge at your place for the night until we get a hotel close by? I hate doing it online it’s always a hassle; you know how it is with me.”

“Mother you really needn’t do this. I’m perfectly capable on my own.”

“Oh be quiet dear. We’re coming and you can’t stop us, plus we haven’t seen you in nearly a year, you’re quite neglectful to your precious parents.”

“Oh mother, you know I wanted too, I just haven’t had the money.”

“I understand honey I was only joking. I’ll see you tomorrow night, stay safe until then, love you.”

“Love you too mom, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

With that the two hung up. Yongguk let himself fall to his side, staring at the blank TV. It was so quiet without Himchan here. He missed seeing him work at the table on his homework, or standing in the kitchen to cook. The apartment didn’t smell the same either, without Himchan here to get ready in the morning or shower. Nothing was the same anymore and he really didn’t like it. Having his parents over would be good for him. Looking at the clock he got up and slipped on his shoes, time to go visit Himchan.

Yongguk honestly hated visiting Himchan, it reminded him every moment he was there that he could have saved Himchan from this. To make matters worse every moment that Himchan slept was another moment that Himchan didn’t want to wake up. By this time Himchan’s wounds were healing up perfectly. He’d regained the lost blood and his body itself was fine. His mind was the issue; he was keeping himself from waking up, if it went on much longer than this Yongguk was afraid that Himchan was going to let himself pass.

Yongguk tried to get the thought out of his mind as he opened the door to face a sleeping Himchan. God he hated seeing him like this, so peaceful yet obviously troubled. By this time he’d had a feeding tube attached to him so he wouldn’t starve to death. Sitting down he started at Himchan’s face in silence. What else could he do? Himchan was unresponsive, he hadn’t woken up once since that day weeks ago. Any conversation that he would have would be with himself and a Himchan who Yongguk wasn’t even sure could hear him.

Curling up on the chair he sighed and looked at him. Why did this have to happen? Feeling a buzz in his pocket he pulled out his phone, it was a message from Himchan’s mother.

Can you spend the night there tonight? I know it’s a lot to ask but his father and I have some arrangements that we need to make.

Yongguk raised his eyebrow, what kind of arrangements? Thinking about it for a moment he realized what they were, his breathed hitched in his throat.

Sure I’ll stay. I’m going to give you my mother’s number. They’re supposed to arrive tomorrow night but knowing them they’ll be here in the morning. I would like you to meet up with them if it isn’t too much to ask. You can bring them here afterwards. Plus my mother really wants to meet the folks that have been helping me through this. She’ll like you. 758-235-0098

Yongguk shut off his phone and placed it back in his pocket, getting ready for the long night ahead of him. He was terrified of waking up to Himchan flat lining, but he supposed if Himchan died he would have been happy to be there for his final moments. Shaking his head he tried to get that thought out of his head, he had to believe that Himchan would make it back to them; he had to believe he would keep himself alive.

Standing up he leaned over Himchan, looking into his face. Sweeping a piece of Himchan’s hair out of his face he leaned down and kissed him on the forehead.

“Please just wake up Himchan, for me."

Sighing for the millionth time that day he sat back down in his chair, pulling out his phone to entertain him in the hours to come.

-----

Yongguk woke up to muffled voices. Too tired to open his eyes he stayed curled up on the chair, listening intently. As he suspected, Yongguk’s parents had arrived early, Himchan’s brought them here just like he had asked. After a while he just didn’t feel like listening in, honestly at this point he didn’t feel like waking up, but he already was. His stomach growled lowly, reminding him he hadn’t eaten at all yesterday, but again he really didn’t care. Things were so dull now; the more he waited for Himchan to do something the less he began to care about living.

After a few minutes of trying to fall back asleep he growled as he opened his eyes, god he didn’t want to be here right now.

“Oh honey you’re awake.”

Yongguk ignored his mother has he leaned on his knees, face in his hands. Feeling a soft touch on his shoulder he sighed tiredly.

“Everything okay?”

Yongguk wanted to snort as his mother’s question. How could anything be okay? Himchan was lying there in a hospital bed not awake because he didn’t want to be.

“No, nothing’s fine, how could it be?”

“Come here dear.”

Yongguk’s mother pulled him up into her arms, giving him a hug he had needed. Wrapping his arms around her he took a deep breath, trying to calm himself.

“I’m glad you’re here mom, dad. I’ve really missed you guys.”

“So have we. Your mother has been itching to visit you, and now seemed like a good time, as badly timed as it was.”

“That’s okay dad, better now that later honestly.”

Yongguk let go of his mother and let her plant a soft kiss on his forehead.

“How are you feeling?”

“Tired.”

“Did you not sleep well?”

“No, not that kind of tired. I’m just… tired. Tired of waiting, tired of sitting here with an unresponsive Himchan. I just… I need him to wake up, I need him to ing wake up now.”

Yongguk’s mother took his hand, gently squeezing it.

“Come let’s go back to your place, I’ll make you something to eat. We can talk some if you want.”

Yongguk nodded, allowing his parents to walk out first. As he started to leave he heard the one noise he wished he hadn’t, the high-pitched whine of Himchan flat lining.  Yongguk took no time in running to Himchan’s bed, pleading him to wake up. Tears formed at the bottom of his eyes, no this couldn’t be happening, it just couldn’t.

Strong arms pulled Yongguk back. He fought against them, trying to get back to Himchan, trying to wake him up. Yongguk watched in agony as they tried to resuscitate him, resisting every pull to get him out of the room. Nothing was working; Himchan wasn’t coming back to them. By this point Yongguk was sobbing, but no matter what they tried to do Yongguk wouldn’t budge. After several more tries the doctor sighed, signifying them to put away the equipment, the doctor looked back at Yongguk with sorrow filled eyes as he flicked off the machines keeping Himchan alive.

Yongguk screamed he didn’t care who heard.

“You have to bring him back. Don’t give up on him! Please don’t give up. I need him, I need him to wake up, you have to try harder! You’re doctors, you’re supposed to keep people from dying. Please save him for me, save him for his parents! Don’t his parents mean anything?”

“Sir we can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.”

“I don’t ing care, don’t let him die, please. He’s done nothing to deserve this, he’s one of the happiest guys I’ve ever met and someone ed him up. Please, please try to revive him.”

The doctors sighed and unhooked Himchan, forcing Yongguk out of the room as they wheeled him quickly down the hallway. Yongguk watched them leave, unsure of what they were doing. By this point Yongguk was still screaming, his words becoming less audible as his sobbing took over. He felt his father’s arms squeeze him tighter, trying to get him to calm down. Yongguk tried to get out of his grasp, only managing to fall to the floor. Behind him he could hear Himchan’s mother weeping into who he could only assume was her husbands chest. Yongguk’s sobbing became more violent, he wasn’t the only one this was hurting, this was hurting Himchan’s family as well. He hated it, he hated being the reason they were there at that moment, it was his fault, and he didn’t protect Himchan like he promised.

Yongguk’s father helped him up, trying to keep Yongguk from sobbing himself back onto the floor. He couldn’t move, even if he tried his legs would have given out on him. His father pulled him into his chest, Yongguk grasping at the back of his shirt as he cried, it hurt too much. Everything hurt too much. At some point Yongguk began repeating Himchan’s name, almost as if he was trying to magic him back to life.

“Yongguk let’s go.”

“No, no. I won’t leave; I can’t leave Himchan here alone. I have to protect him; I have to make sure he’s alive. It’s my fault; all of this is my fault. I didn’t protect him like I promised him I would, I’ve failed. It should be me in his place, he shouldn’t have to die, it should be me, it should be me…”

No one said anything as Yongguk continued to break down, he was taking this harder than anyone had really realized. When Yongguk’s father let him go he stepped back with all intentions of running to find Himchan, his body had other ideas though as it shut down and made Yongguk black out.

Over the course of a couple of hours Yongguk woke up in unfamiliar surroundings, each time he would wake up screaming for Himchan, clawing at the bed like it would somehow save him. Each time his mother or father would run in and soothe him back to sleep.

“I’m relieved your you son came back soon after we left. That’ll be good news for Yongguk.”

“Yeah but there’s the issue of your son. I’m sorry I didn’t realize how he was feeling. He was damn good at it.”

Hana sighed and shook her head.

“It’s not your fault Eun. Yongguk has always been like this. He hates showing any sign of weakness, it’s something even we’ve struggled with since he was little.”

“I just wished I would have realized how much this was destroying him. I mean I know that he’s been not been as happy but that’s really all we were able to get. He was still the nicest person I’ve ever met, he ever wanted to bother us, always profusely apologizing for intruding when we were the ones that asked him to come over. I tried so many times to convince him that he had nothing to do with what Himchan did to himself, but apparently I failed at that.”

Hana and Eun continued to talk while their husbands where in the kitchen fixing the dinner for that night. Eun had graciously invited them into her home knowing Yongguk’s apartment wouldn’t do well for their current needs.

In the other room Yongguk woke up, this time without screaming, his throat hurt like hell and he was just generally tired. Sitting up he rubbed his eyes, everything on him hurt. His heart hurt the most. Remembering was happened just hours ago Yongguk began to freak out again, this time much more quietly, unable to utter a single word. Stumbling out of the bed he made his way down the unfamiliar hallway. Turning a corner he saw his mother who noticed him the same time. Getting up she ran up to him, steadying him. Somehow Yongguk managed to stutter out a ‘Himchan’ before his voice really gave out on him.

“Calm down sweetie. Himchan woke up briefly after we left. He’s still alive, back asleep but he’s alive.”

Yongguk nearly collapsed again. Himchan was alive… Alive. Hana helped him to the couch, asking Eun to make him some tea. Yongguk was stretched out on the couch, unable to actually sit up right now. Hana sat on the edge of the couch, gently running her hands through Yongguk’s hair, calming him down. He hadn’t seen Yongguk like this since… Ah well since the incident with Yongnam. Though because this wasn’t the first time she new how to deal with him a little better.

“Once you have your strength back why don’t we go visit Himchan again. Because he woke up once you might be able to get him to wake up again.”

Yongguk nodded at the idea, and for the first time since he was a child, Yongguk allowed himself to be babied, far too tired to resist.