Himchan woke up the next morning with the biggest headache known to mankind. There was something going on in the room next to his but he was far too tired to go and see what it was. Sitting up he coughed and groaned, sliding back down to a lying position.

“I ed up again didn’t I.”

Covering his eyes he heard a gentle knock on the door before it opened.

“Oh, you’re awake.”

Himchan uncovered his eyes and turned his head. That was the same voice as last night, the one that sang to him. So this is what he looked like. Tall, short dark hair, and more handsome than should be legal. His features were defined, his collarbones were to die for, and his bed head made it even more adorable. The man adorned a black wife beater and a grey pair of jeans. Lord, if he were here to kill him, Himchan would happily oblige.

“Good morning, Himchan I assume.”

Himchan nodded.

“My name is Bang Yongguk. I’m your new roommate. I got in last night a little late. I found you on the floor, I won’t ask what happened but please be careful. Would you like some water and a pain killer?”

Himchan nodded and the newly found Yongguk left. He seemed nice enough; guess he could see in the coming days. Yongguk came back with some water and the pills, setting them down on the side table he helped Himchan sit up.

“I’m surprised you didn’t leave after you saw me on the floor. Should have known I’m going be a problem to you every couple of weeks.”

“I can’t say that I would ever do that. Everyone goes through and people deal with things differently. Trust me, I deal with way worse than you do. It’s fine, really.”

“Well thank you I suppose. We’ll see just how much of me you can deal with.”

“Hmmm, fair enough I suppose. I have to run out to grab the rest of my stuff from my old apartment. I noticed there’s nothing in the fridge. We can split up grocery duties since I’m here. I just got paid anyways. Is there anything you want me to pick up?”

“Can you pick up some Pork Belly and ingredients to make Saengchae*.”

“Yeah, I can do that. I’ll also just pick up others things here and there. I cook so I don’t mind making dinner.”

“I cook as well, we can split that duty up too. Let’s talk about that a little later though. I need to shower to compose myself, and you must have a time limit when you need to get the stuff picked up.”

“I do actually. It was nice to meet you Himchan. Hopefully we can talk more later. I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

“Thank you Yongguk, and I should be here, got classes to study for.”

Yongguk nodded and walked out of the door as Himchan watched. He sighed loudly and sunk down onto the bed. Lord that was not something that he wanted to go through again. His roommate was awfully nice, and incredibly understanding. He could become a problem quite quickly, and not for the sake of something terribly either.

As usual though Himchan did feel a lot better, minus the fact that he had a terrible hangover, but he didn’t really feel much about the whole Zelo fiasco. He should probably tell Yongguk about that today. It was not too much of a touchy topic anymore, but when he got to thinking about it and he was by himself, he would practically tear himself apart over it. God, Zelo really did him up.

A shower and several hours later Himchan found himself on the couch reading his Geology book when Yongguk came home.

“Hey Himchan, do you mind helping me?”

Himchan closed his book and stood up.

“Not at all. What do you need?”

“I’ve got a few boxes in the back of my car, the groceries too. Pick whichever you wish and bring them up. Also I’m going to make Haejangguk* tonight. All for you of course.”

Himchan just chuckled and walked out of the door to grab the stuff. Yongguk was being far too friendly and it was something that he was not used to anymore. After stopping contact with most humans he kind of forgot what it was like to actually talk to one. Rather ridiculous actually. He shook his head and grabbed the bags plus a box. Might as well help as much as he could.

After they got all of the stuff Himchan found himself on the bar stool watching Yongguk start to cook.

“Why are you doing this for me Yongguk? You just met me?”

“Well, I do think that first impressions are very important.”

“Well I ed up.”

“Nah, I’m going to let you redo your first impression over dinner. Though today you’ve been very helpful. Also.”

Yongguk dug in his pocket and pulled the silver band that Himchan threw last night.

“I believe this belongs to you.”

Himchan stared at it for a moment before taking it and nodding.

“I suppose this does.”

He rolled it around in his fingers for a few minutes before tossing it in the trash. Yongguk looked at him surprised.

“That didn’t seem like something you would just throw away.”

“That’s where you would be wrong. I was thrown away just like that, so it doesn’t really matter.”

“I know I said I wouldn’t ask, but would you tell me what’s the matter?”

“It’s a very long story.”

“Dinner is going to take a while.”

Himchan sighed and stared at his hands for a few minutes before looking at Yongguk.

“I had a friend who was very important to me break my heart. The problem is he wasn’t just my friend. We had known each other since we were little kids, the bond we had was stronger than anything I had ever known. Eventually we fell in love with each other. God we spent summer after summer together, then we graduated high school and started to go to college together. We bought this apartment together and lived happily for another year until he decided to break it off with me. When we moved in here together I asked him to marry me. Of course seeing as how that wasn’t possible legally we just wore the rings as a semblance of our love. I just don’t understand where it went wrong. Things were going so well, then he found someone else. God I love him more than anything on this Earth. He was like an angel to me, he brought me happiness, he brought me friends, he brought me love. And then he yanked it all out from under me like it meant nothing. But it must have. The person he started to date kept telling me that Zelo was still so torn up over what he did. But what confuses me the most is, if he really loved me, and if he was so torn up over it, why did he do it? I never got an explanation. It really ruined my life. I stopped talking to everyone and started to drink. It really only gets like that every couple of weeks. I start to think of him more and more and I start to drink more and more. It’s a terrible habit of mine but it helps a little. I miss him every day, and I can still hear his voice. I just wish he would come back to me, I don’t have anyone, I never had anyone. I just had him. And then he left to do crumble into a pit of despair.  I see him walking around school with Jongup, his boyfriend. And they seem so happy together. But how can he be happy when we promised each other eternity. I just don’t ing understand it anymore.”

Himchan slammed his hands on the bar and stood up, trying to not cry.

“What right does he ing have to leave me like that, to leave me for some other ing person who can’t nearly be as important as I was to him. God, does eternity mean nothing anymore? Does a promise mean nothing. What is love anymore, I just do ing understand it, I never have, I just don’t understand this concept of love anymore.”

Tears started to stream down his face, he wiped them away quickly, trying not to alarm Yongguk. He heard the other set down his knife, and start to walk towards him.

“No, continue cooking, I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Himchan took a deep breath before starting to talk again.

“The ring I threw away meant nothing to me anymore, nothing but a broken promise and years of pain. God I hate it so much. I’m so worthless.”

Himchan couldn’t take it anymore and started to punch the wall relentlessly. He didn’t stop until Yongguk and wrapped his arms around Himchan’s waist effectively trapping his arms. He tried to struggle out of his grasp, tears rolling down his face, his anger boiling. Eventually he gave up and sank to the ground.

“I’m worth nothing, I am nothing and that’s why Zelo left me. I was nothing important and I’ll never be anything important.”

Yongguk picked up Himchan’s bleeding hand. Himchan was still positioned in front of him with his back against Yongguks stomach. He gently wiped away some of the blood, examining the wound.

“Himchan I’ve only just met you and I know that that is not true. You mean a hell of a lot to someone out there I’m sure.”

“Can… Can you just hold me.”

Yongguk nodded, though he knew Himchan couldn’t see it. He gently hugged Himchan from behind, trying to be as soothing as he could.

“I’m so sorry I’m like this. I’m a mess and I will be fore a while. If you can bare through it I would appreciate it if you would stay though. You might be able to help me, granted you want to take on an endeavor such as that.”

“Himchan I’ll stay, let’s get your hand cleaned up and I’ll finish dinner.”

Himchan nodded and let Yongguk help him up and to the couch. Yongguk quickly bandaged Himchan’s knuckles, promising that he would take a closer look a little later. For the mean time Himchan laid down on the couch and waited for Yongguk to finish.

“You know Yongguk, maybe you’ll be my ticket to a better life. Perhaps it will be you, or a revolver.”

**

Saengchae is a kind of Korean salad generally consisting of uncooked mixed seasonal vegetables such as radishes and other ingredients such as chicken or jellyfish.

Haejangguk is any kind of soup eaten as a hangover cure.