(Ha Na's POV)

Over the next few weeks, I was busy preparing for my debut. I buried myself in work, often staying in the office 'til dawn. I was sleep deprived, stressed and often had breakdowns in the toilet. My songs sounded average and mundane despite reassurances from sajangnim that they were fine. I wanted everything to be perfect, but everything was far from perfect. Ji Yong sunbae noticed how much I changed and tried to talk to me, but I evaded his questions. My world revolved around my debut, because I did not want to disappoint the people who cared. 

It was the day of my album jacket shoot, and it was 6am in the morning. I had spent another sleepless night in the studio, touching up on my songs. My eye bags were horrible and I was exhausted, drained from any energy left in me, but still I dragged myself to the shoot location. 

"Hello," I greeted the staff in a dead tone, and they smiled at me. I needed sleep, but I could not get any. Everyone around me was busy with their respective jobs, and they were all watching me like a hawk, because I was the main character in this shoot. I went through makeup, dressing and finally arrived in front of the cameras. 

"Look ahead!" the cameraman said and I obeyed. The concept of my debut was a cold city girl image, and I did not have any trouble executing it. The past few weeks of preparation made me void of any feelings. I had no time to feel. I stared straight into the camera, and the flashes went off. That was when I saw him from the corner of my eye. 

He was wiping sweat off Im Mi Hyun, who happened to be there for another shoot. He was smiling so genuinely it pained me. I felt my heart somersaulting violently, and my stomach lurched at the sight of him. I hadn't seen him since that fateful day, and I was too busy to miss him. It wasn't until then that I realised I had missed him so badly. One reason for my working so hard was him. I thought I had gotten over him, but clearly, I had not. 

He was laughing at something Mi Hyun said, and for a moment I wished I was her. I wanted to make him laugh again. With every laugh, I felt my heart shattering. With every swat on her hand, it felt as if he was stabbing my heart. It hurt so much to see him so happy, because the reason of happiness was another woman, the woman whom he planned to use me to get back. I laughed bitterly, finding how ironic the situation was. He's back with her, while I'm left all alone. I was alone anyway. 

"Miss Yoon, please concentrate!" the cameraman hollered at me. I gathered myself and smiled at him. 

"I'm sorry, I just thought of something really hilarious and ironic. Please forgive me," I said, earning a glare from him.

I saw the both of them looking towards my direction. We made eye contact, and I wanted to look away. The way his doe-like eyes stared at me made me so uncomfortable. You can't look away Yoon Ha Na. 

I stared back at him, raising my brows, as if taunting him to do anything further. 

Just then, the flashes went off. "That was a great pose Miss Yoon, it's a wrap!" the cameraman said and the staff cheered. I sauntered away and sat down, releasing my hair from the tight ponytail that was pulling at my scalp. 

He was walking towards me, linking arms with her. I could feel the tears prickling my eyes, and I stood up quickly. I dabbed at the corners of my eyes to stop the tears from flowing. 

"Gosh, the light makes me tear up. Let's go unnie, I have to go back to the studio," I exclaimed. My manager and I left before he could approach me. I stalked away, my heels making a ruckus against the marble floors, but the sound couldn't cover up the loud thumping of my heart. I thought I had given up on him, but just seeing him with her sent me over the edge, and I chose to escape, like the coward I was. Why am I afraid to see him with another woman, and why am I afraid to lose him when he isn't even mine?

As we entered the car, my manager suddenly said, "What about your clothes?" I sighed. 

"I'll go return them." I slapped myself for being so dumb. I had to return to that place and face him again. As expected, he was at the entrance and was ready to talk to me when I pretended that I had a phone call. 

"Yes, yes, I'll be back soon. I'm returning my clothes now. Hmm? I'll be there in thirty. Yes, bye." I said hurriedly as I brisk-walked away from them. I avoided him again. I turned my head back slightly and saw that he had moved on with her. I shook my head and took in a deep breath, a big and painful lump in my throat. 

When I walked in the dressing room, I saw a familiar figure arranging the clothing. The same black luscious hair, the same curvy figure, the same facial features. She turned around and looked at me. For a moment I stood there, rooted to the ground. After 15 years, she finally appeared in my life . 

It took a few seconds before recognition dawned upon her. Her eyes widened and she opened a little, as if wanting to speak, but closed it quickly. I inched towards her, my breath hitching. 

My mother. My mother who left us years back, my mother whose heart was broken so brutally my father, my mother whom I thought I would never see again. She hadn't aged a single bit. It was as if she travelled through a time machine and chose to appear in front of me, 15 years later. 

"U...umma..." I stuttered, and the tears that I kept back found their way down my cheeks. The smallest hint of a smile formed on her face, revealing the dimples I adored. She opened her arms and I ran towards them, crashing into her. Just like in the past, I buried my face into her chest, inhaling that familiar scent. She my hair tenderly and I sobbed harder. 

"Na Na, Na Na..." she called my name so endearingly, I broke down even further. All the pent up emotions over the past 15 years exploded right then, and I couldn't stop the tears. My mother started sobbing too, and we became a crying mess. Thankfully, there was nobody else in the room to witness both of us sobbing into each other's arms. 

"How have you been umma?" I asked as soon as we broke free of each other. I had so, so many things to say to her, so many questions to ask her. She told me about how she went to pursue her dream of being a stylist after divorcing my father, and how she met a guy and married him. My heart fell into my stomach as soon as I heard that. I wanted my mum to be happy, but the thought of my mum being married with another man made me feel like she was betraying my father. But I know this isn't true. It was my father who betrayed my mother, it was him who caused her all the tears and heartache. Men are jerks, but I hope that umma's new partner isn't one. 

"I hope you're happy, umma," I said sincerely, and she smiled, taking both of my hands. 

"I am, Ha Na, I'm happier than I can ever be. What about you, are you happy?" 

Her question made my stomach knot painfully. I avoided her gaze and closed my eyes. 

"I-I got dumped by a guy." 

I spilled everything, from Jin Woo to Jong Su, and found myself crying in my mother's arms for the second time in the day. She said so many things and I was really glad that I met her again. Before I left, we promised to meet up soon. I left the place with a lighter heart than when I entered. 

"Remember this Ha Na, don't torture yourself over someone else's mistake. Don't push all the blame to yourself, because at the end of the day, you are the one that will suffer." 

Her words kept playing in my mind, even until I had reached the studio. 

Umma's right. I shouldn't blame myself. Jong Su's accident was partly my fault, but it isn't entirely my fault. He's gone, and I can't cling onto it forever. 

I shouldn't torture myself because of Jin Woo. I should learn to let go. Letting go seems like a difficult thing, but once I let go, the weight on my shoulders will be gone. I should let go. 

So I did. I let go. I stopped overworking myself and requested for a one week break, which sajangnim gladly gave me. I went around the country for this one week, resting and clearing all my thoughts. I ate more and slept even more. By the end of the week, I was feeling like the Yoon Ha Na before everything happened. I was happy. 

"Me: Thank you umma. I'm happy again." 

"Umma: I'm glad you took my advice Na Na, I'll always be here for you. Fighting!" 

Note: I'm finally back! Sorry for keeping you guys waiting. I decided that Ha Na needed an intervention, thus the introduction of her mother. She'll be appearing in the following chapters, hopefully. And will Ha Na finally let go of everything? What will happen to Jina? (Jin Woo x Ha Na) 

Stay tuned ~