“So, why’s an idol like you interested in Hanbyul for?” I ask curiously, not in an accusing tone or anything, just interested. While I am sure that Jin isn’t looking for anything wrong in the relationship he shares with Hanbyul, it worries me still. Hanbyul doesn’t often make new friends, but when she does she doesn’t let go.

Jin blinks slightly, thrown off by the question, glancing at said girl waiting for him in the café. “She’s nice to talk to, fun to look after, Hanbyul is my friend.”

“You know she’s in love with Taejoon then?” I ask, saying Taejoon’s name a bit spitefully. “You know that Hanbyul won’t let go.” I continue to press, the only thing I find really wrong with Hanbyul. Holding onto something that is obviously poisoning her slowly and allowing for it to go on.

Jin looks down at the ground before replying. “I knew as soon as I met the two of them together,” He answers slowly and looks up at me. “But Joonyoung, that’s her business. No one is going to be able to make her let go or hold on, she’ll have to decide for herself when enough is enough.”

I nod my head while sighing heavily. “I’m her friend and I care about her, and while I see Taejoon as just messing with her, I can’t say anything without upsetting her about it, I like Hanbyul being happy, and Taejoon just makes her sad.” Glancing back at the café then back to Jin, I let out another frustrated sigh. “She’s fragile, just make sure you’re not adding to the pain, I like you, you make her smile and laugh, even when you’re not around.” I say finally letting Jin go on and meet Hanbyul.

“You’re not in love with her, are you?” Jin asks. He seems even hesitant to know my answer; he seems just as protective of her as me or even Taejoon.

I find the question amusing, I’ve considered this before, am I love with her? “Not anymore,” I answer finally, I glance to Hanbyul sitting at the table drinking her coffee; from here I can tell she isn’t uncomfortable, but she is zoned out. “For a short while I had been. I’ve let go since.” I say shortly while shrugging my shoulders. “I didn’t and won’t ever stand a chance against Taejoon; I’m not into that waiting around. I see what it does to her.” I state clearly. “Like you said, no one can make someone let go of or hold on to another person, I’ve let go. I love her, but I’ve let go of the hope of her being in love with me.”

Jin watches me, scanning me as if trying to decide if I’ve been honest with him, “I’m not out to hurt Hanbyul, she’s a friend, while it may seem like she needs me, it’s the other way around.” Jin says before heading in.

I watch as he walks in, heading off I can’t help but think that’s how it’d started for me. I needed Hanbyul more than she needed me. I needed a friend, I needed someone to talk with, another person not to just assume something about me. All Hanbyul did was be herself and I’m sure that’s what’s drawing Jin in. I have the distinct feeling that he’ll fall into the same trap I had.

Hanbyul’s innocent and quiet charm, while she is clumsy physically, she’s rather gracefully and pointed with her words, armed and ready to fire. I think Jin will find himself in the same position I had been in, only this time I think he stands a better chance of winning her over than I had.

~~~

I watch as Hanbyul rather comfortably talks with Yoongi, “I thought they’d get along rather well.” Jin says watching from afar as well, the other members off dancing.

“She likes all of you guys,” I answer glancing back at the others all laughing. Hanbyul needs more friends, more people that don’t know Taejoon, Solbi, Sohee or even me.

As Jin and I are dragged away to dance I grin rather pleased with the way this little lunch as turned out, I only hope that Hanbyul can do it alone with Jin sometime soon. I stop, finding myself watching my friend carefully, the way she listens and then answers, nods her head, and grins, Hanbyul is happy.

“She has a pretty smile.” Jin says from next to me.

I nod my head and let out a small sigh. “If only she’d smile more often.” I answer in reply. I want my friend to be happy more, I want for her to be more confident. I want Hanbyul to see herself as others see her, how they should see her.

“Noona is really pretty,” Jungkook says from somewhere on my left. “Hyung, she didn’t listen to us when she was at the fan event.” He says in an annoyed tone to Taehyung.

I chuckle looking over to the three arguing about being her favorite. “You guys have bigger competition than Taehyung.” I say to them slightly annoyed with the person that they do have in the way of being her favorite, “Someone a lot more precious to her than anyone else.” I explain to them while shaking my head in attempt to rid the annoyance of his smug face.

“Her best friend,” Jin clears up, “The guy that was with her at the fan meet.” He says before they can look at me. “Anyways though, I think you guys have a study session or something right?” Jin says looking over at me.

“Just a regroup kind of study session to get ahead of next semester,” I answer while shrugging my shoulders. “Miss Literary Genius over there probably doesn’t really need it.” I answer nodding to her scrunching her nose up and chuckling at something Yoongi has said to her.

Jungkook looks over at her curiously. “Is her understanding of books and stories really that extensive?” He asks me blinking kind of confused with the statement he’s asking.

I nod my head. “She has a deep understanding of influences of time eras, losses, gains, lifestyles, and a lot of other factors, to be honest I’m not sure how she makes some of the connections that she does, but best not to mess with her in her comfortable field. She can dissect songs, poems, novels and just about anything with words involved. So careful what you show her.” I tease them.

~~~

I watch my best friend sitting on the couch just staring off in to space, this though is different from before, this is worse. This is Hanbyul hoping that Taejoon will just come swooping in to save her from all this. This is Hanbyul worried she’s damaged her relationship with Taejoon so badly that he’ll never talk to her again. This is Hanbyul giving into some of her worst fears.

“I’ve never seen her like this before.” Solbi says quietly.

Sohee however seems even more worried than me. “She was like this when I first met her.” Sohee says quietly. “Though then it was worse, she’d only recently became friends with Taejoon. After her parents died Hanbyul really closed off from basically everyone.” I’d known about the car accident and that Hanbyul said that it’d affected her dramatically. I suppose I hadn’t quite thought how badly something like that would really affect not just a person, but someone like Hanbyul. “It’d devastated her from what I’d heard, she blocked everyone out, she was left alone and people didn’t quite understand why she’d do that. She’d stopped talking to all of her old friends; it wasn’t easy for Taejoon to get close to her.”

“What do you mean?” I ask keeping my eyes trained on my now best friend the words hurting to think that she’s gone through worse than this already.

Sohee’s voice falters before she can start speaking again. “A lot of kids used to pick on Hanbyul, well the ones in her classes, Taejoon and Hanbyul never really talk about how they first became friends, but the little Taejoon has said…” The pause isn’t exactly comforting. “Hanbyul was hazed pretty badly; she apparently thought Taejoon was playing a similar prank on her that some of the other students in her class had played on her.”

I take a deep breath before looking at Sohee, “What could the prank have possibly been?” I ask in an even voice. Learning more about Hanbyul’s life before university is heartbreaking, how cruel other students had been.

Sohee sighs, her eyes flickering to Hanbyul again. “They pretended to be friends with her, Hanbyul spent a lot of time alone in high school before she met Taejoon and then eventually me.” She explains.

I close my eyes trying to quell that anger. Her reluctance to make friends and meet new people making perfect sense now, “Please tell me you’re ing kidding.” I mutter barely above a whisper. “Tell me that the reason Hanbyul is so closed off isn’t because people you three when to high school with were complete and utter .” My dislike of Taejoon has lessened considerably after hearing all this. I can’t imagine how hard it was for him to get her to even start talking to him. How much she must have resisted.

“My god,” Solbi says in a sad and broken kind of way. “She never says anything, not that she’s the type of person to actually say anything.”

I open my eyes to see Sohee watching Hanbyul still. “From what I understand it was most of the students in her class and a couple of their friends, not everyone, but it made Hanbyul terrified of befriending anyone.”

~~~

I watch Hanbyul eat her dinner; take out from a local restaurant. “Hanbyul,” I venture hesitantly, she looks up from me and tilts her head as if asking me to continue. “Sohee told Solbi and me some stuff the other day.”

Her reaction is immediate. Hanbyul stops eating and looks down and away from me. Her ability to read into what I’ve said and infer what I’m going to say is proof she’s able to read a situation, not the space cadet so many people seem to think she is. “About back in high school?” She asks in a very quiet and broken tone.

“Yeah,” I say quietly. “You do know that I’m not going to leave you ever right?” I ask her trying to get her to look back at me. “I worry about you; Sohee says that while you waiting for Taejoon to call or text you, this isn’t as bad as before.”

“It isn’t,” Hanbyul says, finally looking back at me. “I know I have to stop waiting for him, I know I need to move on from the idea of Taejoon, I do, but I just…I’m not ready yet.” She mutters as she begins eating again. A cue that she’s done on the topic, I know I won’t be able to get her to say anything more. “I know you’re always going to be my friend, so you can stop staring at me like I’m going to be the one to walk away from you.” She says surprising me.

I smile and nod my head, finishing my own meal.

It has been a very long time I know. I'm sorry. OTL
I kinda got caught up in just a lot of stuff going on in life off a computer.
But I do promise to finish, maybe not quite as soon as I previously thought.
Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this look into Joonyoung's thoughts and whatnot. 
I plan on updating again soon...ish.
(:
Good look on finals to all my readers who may be in school, I hope you do well and
you're able to get done what you need to get done.
Love you all my little ducks.