Seungho

Listen to this song while reading <3

"Jiyeon, hey what are you doing here?"

"I have an interview to go to. You, what are you doing here?"

I went back to the comfort room and as I looked at myself in the mirror, I realized how dumb I was. I can't even get myself to confront her about how I truly feel or at least say hi to her when she was just right in front of me. The chance I was waiting for was just right in front of me, I could have grabbed that chance if I had the courage to- it could have been the perfect moment but I let it pass away. And I let that stranger man talk to her! Who the heck was that?

The sun went down, and I stare blankly at the bulletin in front of Minho's grandparent's balcony. "!" I cursed all of the sudden. "She was right there, just right in front of me and then I just flinched, hid myself like a dumb child. I should have called her."

Jae nodded his head in agreement. Minho laughed. And me? Well you know, can't help but support my pitiful self. "What am I supposed to do now?" I asked, biting my lip.

"I told you that if you see her, don't let her go. But you didn't listen to me, you let that moment pass. The moment we've all been waiting for. And you know the solution to all that? You drink soju." He gave me a bottle of soju. I stared at it, and it reminded me of Jiyeon again. Tell me why does everything remind me of her?

"Oppa?" She called; I turned around to see who it was. "Where are you going?" She asked.

"I'm going to a party at my friend's house." I replied.

"Party? Don't drink and get drunk, alright?" 

I smiled, "I won't. Wanna...go with me?"

"No... I bet your friend didn't invite friends of friends." She laughed. "Just promise me you won’t drink."

"Okay, I promise."

"Sure promise?"

I smiled again, "I promise...baby girl."

"Swear?"

I chuckled. "Am I annoying you?" She asked, biting her lip. God. I wanted to kiss those lips.

"No, of course not. I swear. I promise I won't drink." I ruffled her hair.

I grabbed the bottle of soju, took one last look at it before finishing it within a minute.

"You monster." Minho mumbled.

"Now I believe in the saying Promises are meant to be broken." I smirked.

"Cheers to that saying," Jae raised his glass of soju, laughing hysterically at how ridiculous I look. "Cheers to Jiyeon!" Minho added with a laugh. Jae his little radio and a random song played. The lyrics just made me feel even more broken.

I smiled wryly as a tear fell from my eyes.

"This is amazing! The brave Seungho is actually crying!"

"No," I said. "It's just that...this soju taste so bad." I wiped the tears away. Then I looked up at the clear night sky, wondering if she too, is watching the same sky as I, and if she still wishes at 11:11 like before.

"I still believe in wishing at 11:11... I still believe in fairytales. Guess I'm still a kid for believing such things. But you know, everything is possible if you believe. And of course, if you do something." She says.

What do I wish at 11:11? If I wish to see her again and have the guts to tell her what I feel, will it happen? Or is stupidity just running stronger inside of me?

Morning came, but I haven't slept yet. I've been pondering alone at the balcony after Minho and Jae fell asleep. It was 4 A.M. I've been wasting my time here doing nothing. So I brushed my teeth and decided to walk around the street, listen to music so I could escape depression. I put on my earphones and played a song.

I keep seeing her back view everywhere but I know it's not her. I knew I was just hallucinating, because I miss her.

I stopped by the empty basketball court and stared at it. I missed playing basketball. I haven't played it for years. I sighed. It’s okay, when I get a job, I'll buy my own basketball court and play there with my friends.

"Oppa?"

See, I even hear her voice calling me a brother- again. Why won't she go away from my brain, soul, and heart? Everything! I wish I could teach myself to stop thinking about her. I wish it was easy.

Then a hand was on my shoulder, it made me jump a little. As I turned around to see who it was, I was stunned. I wish I could stop the time when I saw her right in front of me, smiling. It took me a minute to get back to my senses. I pulled off my earphone and said, "B-b-baby girl..." unsure of how to call her.

She smiled like dazzling sunlight shines, "Oppa, what are you doing here?"

"Uhm...nothing. I mean- I came from Minho's house. W-we had an overnight. Then I...I went out for a walk."

"You're alone?"

"Yeah...Are you?"

She nodded.

"Why? It's dangerous. You should've brought your brother or parents or something." I said.

"I want to see the sunrise."

"Oh..." I can't believe I keep on forgetting my lines when she's near me. 

"Mmhmm. Want to come with me?"

I stammered. "S-sure. Why not."

"Great!" She exclaimed and grabbed my hand. "Let's go before it's too late!" Then we ran.

She led the way to a big rock near the beach. "Let's wait here," she said and let go of my hand. I wanted to hold them back but she quickly ran towards the big rock and sat on it. "Oppa! Come sit!"

I sat beside her, but an inch away. "The sun will rise soon." She said. "Do you do this a lot? Waiting for the sunrise?" I asked.

"Not really." She hugged her knees. "Just today. The last time I did was last year. I used to come here with my best friend after jogging. Then today, since I couldn't go back to sleep, I thought maybe I could go see the sunrise. I think it's really beautiful."

"Why couldn't you go back to sleep?"

"I...I don't know." She chuckled. "How about you? Why are you up so early, leaving your friends behind?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"Why is that?"

"I..."

She gasped. "Look! The sun is rising!" She smiled while pointing at the sunrise. I smiled, amazed of its beauty most especially because I was watching it with her. Every little thing she does just makes her amazing. I must be really in love.

She sighed in relief. "Why couldn't you sleep again? Is something bothering you, oppa?"

"Yeah," I answered.

"What is it? Maybe I can help?" 

"No..." Just tell her.

"Why not? I'm your little sister, you should tell me and maybe I can help with whatever is bothering you."

"I just miss you." I blurted out.

"Huh?" She shook her head. "Why are you changing the topic?"

"I'm not...changing the topic." I said slowly, staring at her blank reaction. "That was the answer to your question." I added and gazed down to her lips, waiting for her to say something. However, she wasn't saying anything. "I..." I began.

"There you are! Ya! Yoo Seungho!" Minho and Jae shouted behind. I sighed. They found me. I looked at Jiyeon and she did the same, for a second. She looked back at my friends, greeting them a good morning.

"Are you two dating?" Jae joked.

"No, it's not like that." Jiyeon giggled. I watched her as she talked with my friends. Oh how cute it is when she talks. I could have finally said the words if they didn't come...or so I thought. They ruined the moment of truth.

"How about we get some breakfast? Jae's treat." Minho suggested.

"What? Me again?" Jae pouted.

"No, it's okay. I'm going home soon." Jiyeon said nicely.

"You might be hungry. Don't you want to eat or drink something? Come on, I'll treat you." I suggested.

Minho and Jae gave me that how-about-me-look but I didn't mind those two.

"No," Jiyeon smiled. "It's fine. I'm not really hungry."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'll just stay here. You guys should go."

I thought for a moment.

"Don't leave okay? Stay here. I'll get you something to eat. I'll be back." I ruffled her hair before leaving with Minho and Jae.

When I returned back to the big rock where I left her, she wasn't there anymore. The food and water I bought for her almost fell as my hands suddenly felt weak after seeing the empty rock, not even her shadow on it. I clearly told her to stay... but she didn't. I sighed.

"Oppa!" She called behind me. I turned around with a big big...smile. "I thought you would never come back." She said while walking towards me.

"Did it take so long?" I asked and gave her the cup noodles and water. She looked at it and smiled.

"Oppa," she looked up at me. "Thank you. Let's eat together!"

We went back to the big rock. Just the two of us. I made Minho and Jae to promise me that I need a moment with her. So they let me be. I'm just hoping that it won’t be a failure. After eating, she suddenly leaned on my shoulder. I just smiled, completely happy just being with her like that. Just sitting together, so close. We were like... brothers and sisters or more than that...

"Oppa... Can I ask you something?" She started.

"Yeah?"

"Uhm... never mind."

"Ya... Tell me."

"Never mind, I suddenly forgot."

"Ya..."

"Actually... I want to tell you something but somehow, every time I see you, I just forget about it. Maybe it's not that important that's why I easily forget it." She chuckled.

"Well... There is something I want to tell you." I said. "You better keep it in your mind, and your heart."

She looked into my eyes. I opened my mouth, just about to say something when suddenly the lightning made our heart jump. "Oh my God!" She exclaimed. The relentless rain came back. "It's raining!" I seized her hand and rushed for a place to hide. The road was wet by that time, "We're almost there!" I said, half-shouting due to the loud noise of the thunderstorms coming from everywhere especially the beach.

"Oppaaa-aaah!" Jiyeon tumbled down the wet road with a loud thud. "Ouch! That hurts!"

"Omo! Are you okay?" I helped her up, she kept saying she was fine but I don't think so. She could've hit her head on the ground if I wasn't holding her hand for support. "I'll carry you," I offered and carried her in bridal-style. She yelped. "Oppa, put me down! I'm fine!"

"No." I insisted and started walking.

"Oppa! I'm really heavy! Put me down, I'm really fine, I can run!" She said.

"No, we're almost there. Just stay still or you'll fall." I said in a serious tone, without looking at her. I just want her safe and the only way that I can make sure she's safe, is for her to be here in my arms.