Ajusshi, This is Minari

F.T. Island Dorm Life

-Seunghyun's POV-

"So, what you wanna get, Seunghyun-ah? The newest?"

"Anything that fits him."

"Hm, that'll be easy. There's lots in here. Come on, follow me~" So Minari and I followed the ajusshi. He lead us to this room with lots of beautiful clothes that awed Minari alot. His mouth was a big as an, an, well, you get the point. Anyway, we looked at all the different clothings.

"Wahh~ Seunghyun-sshi, these clothes here are very nice!"

"Ne? Keke, feel free to look around. I'll come back later, ok?" The ajusshi said and left.

"Yah, Minari-ah, choose anything you want, as many you want."

"Gwenchana, hyung~ I'll just get a few favourites.." Minari said while loking at all the different clothings.

"Aniyo, it's really ok. Just take all thoose that you want, ok? I won't take no for an answer."

"Err... ok then. Gumawo hyung~!" And Minari jumped and hugged me tight. It's been so long since someone hugged me. It feels.. kinda.. nice. I didn't do anything, until Minari let go of the hug and said, "Seunghyun-sshi, come choose with me~!" And he dragged me along. We looked at the clothes for hours! Ok, maybe just about 2 hours, but it was nice. We choose many different clothings, we even bought some of those clothes that couples would buy. After choosing all our clothes, we went to pay for them.

"Ahh, good choices made, Seunghyun-ah. These are some of the best and some of the cheapest clothings here. kekeke, enjoy them ne~?"

"Ne, no problem ajusshi. We will enjoy them alot."

"Seunghyun-sshi.." Minari was tugging the corner of my shirt, how cute~ "Should we get some clothes for the other hyungs too?" Minari is so concerened! Ah, how could his parents have kicked him out?

"Uh, ok. How's about you go choose some clothes for them. I'll be here, ne?"

"Ok~!" And he went back in, choosing clothes for the others back at the dorm. Such a considerate person..

"Ya, Seunghyun-ah. How bout this? I'll sell these stuff to you at half the total price, as long as you bring this cute kid back every once a week, or at least a month, ok?" The ajusshi whispered.

"Um, ok. But why?"

"Cause, his happy and smiley face and heart warms me up, warms my day, and warms my shop!"

I smiled at ajusshi's reply. He was right. Very right.

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Comments

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choijonghyunsaranghe #1
Chapter 16: I cried T_T
DKimLittleGoddess
#2
Uhhh... I don't get it. -.-; You're what seems to be 'plot' and the whole story is completely different. There's a lot to point out but I'm gonna comment what I remembered.

You're writing style is kinda... off. There was a lot of unnecessary smileys everywhere and too much use of 'kekekeke'. If your characters are happy, you can always express it in other ways like, 'He chuckled, "Blah Blah Blah." Then smiled.' instead of using that laugh too often.

And the story was too fast paced. The days were continuous and a lot happened like they did this and that and immediately saw Wonbin, etc. Wonbin's last five minutes was wayyy too fast. You didn't even wrote what happened during the analysis and just injected him with a 'killing medicine' whtver that's called. ~.~;

And as I've said, the plot and the whole story is different. It ended with Wonbin dying? I thought I'm reading about F.T Island's Dorm Life focused on SeungHwan. I was expecting that they do things like this and that with Minhwan but then it shifted and focused on Jaejin and Wonbin's story. -.-; And whatever happened to SeungHwan after they discovered they were childhood friends? -.-;

And how can Minhwan magically knew that Wonbin is sick? O.O; He inherited this from his mother... Okay. But he immediately knew it was stomach cancer? Whoa... *O* But this is a 'fic' anyways, so it's acceptable in a way.

Sorry if I sounded harsh. I'm not being mean or anything... ^^v You can improve, definitely! :)

We can help you at http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/206930/f-a-i-r-y-t-a-l-e-s-r-e-v-i-e-w-s-h-o-p-open-review-reviews-fairytales

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/193138

We give honest and useful reviews~ <3
YourRemedy #3
Waeyo!? Why did you kill wonbin? Why? T-T<br />
anyways, I love it!<br />
paranoidfreaker
#4
Oh my~~ Wonbin you're sick?????<br />
TT^TT
paranoidfreaker
#5
new reader here!! wah~~ i think i love your story.. just update soon.. and i hope wonbin don't do anything that will hurt jaejin..<br />
^^
asdfghjBullySong #6
cliffhanger .. i hope wonbin will not do anything to our jaejin :))
SHINee2MinLove #7
@kihyunkit; haha! :D ne, thank you very very much!! :D
asdfghjBullySong #8
eheheh i love your pairings and the story :D so cool :D update soon :D
SHINee2MinLove #9
@kihyunkit; haha((: ne, i will update asap. :D gumawo for reading!!!^^<br />
@FT123456; hehe, thanks for reading too. ;}
FT123456 #10
Aww.. Jinnie gonna be sad ><