Shopping

F.T. Island Dorm Life

-Seunghyun's POV-

"Seunghyun-sshi... Seunghyun-sshi... quick, it's 8 in the morning~~" Someone was shaking me up. I slowly opened my eyes a little and saw Minari.

"Aiggo, Minari-ah.. That you?"

"Ne~! ^^"

"Kekeke, you are excited, aren't you?"

"Ne ne~! "

"ok, haha. Quickly change to any clothes you want form my drawer. I'll join you in a whille, ok?" Minari nodded his head and I smiled. I then went to the toilet to brush my teeth. When I came back, I saw Minari wearing my jeans.. but he was shirtless(?) I couldn't tear my eyes of his ever so perfect body. It was so slender and thin, so fragile.. I kept looking, until he suddenly turned his head. Guess he noticed my presence.

"Seunghyun-sshi~!! Can you help me?"

"uh.. ne?"

"Which shirt looks nicer?"

"Both are nice, but I prefer this one." I said and pointed to the body-hugging shirt. The only reason I chose that is cause I want to see Minari wear it.

"how I look?"

"Wow, very nice~~"

"Keke, ne, it's your turn to change~~~ I'll help~~" Minari smiled a big one for me. He looked like a kid on his 5th birthday or so. I smiled back to him and took off my clothes while Minari chose things for me to wear. And soon, we were on the streets, looking around for the best place to shop. Then, I took Minari's wrist and pulled him into my favourite designer's shop.

"Here we are, Minari~"

"Ahh~ Seunghyunnie~ what brings you back here today?"

"Ah, ajusshi. I'm here to buy clothes for my dongsaeng here." Ajusshi looked at Minari who was hiding behind me.

"Well, ok. Nice to meet you."

"Ne. Nice to meet you too.." Aiggo, Minari's too cute for me these days..

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choijonghyunsaranghe #1
Chapter 16: I cried T_T
DKimLittleGoddess #2
Uhhh... I don't get it. -.-; You're what seems to be 'plot' and the whole story is completely different. There's a lot to point out but I'm gonna comment what I remembered.

You're writing style is kinda... off. There was a lot of unnecessary smileys everywhere and too much use of 'kekekeke'. If your characters are happy, you can always express it in other ways like, 'He chuckled, "Blah Blah Blah." Then smiled.' instead of using that laugh too often.

And the story was too fast paced. The days were continuous and a lot happened like they did this and that and immediately saw Wonbin, etc. Wonbin's last five minutes was wayyy too fast. You didn't even wrote what happened during the analysis and just injected him with a 'killing medicine' whtver that's called. ~.~;

And as I've said, the plot and the whole story is different. It ended with Wonbin dying? I thought I'm reading about F.T Island's Dorm Life focused on SeungHwan. I was expecting that they do things like this and that with Minhwan but then it shifted and focused on Jaejin and Wonbin's story. -.-; And whatever happened to SeungHwan after they discovered they were childhood friends? -.-;

And how can Minhwan magically knew that Wonbin is sick? O.O; He inherited this from his mother... Okay. But he immediately knew it was stomach cancer? Whoa... *O* But this is a 'fic' anyways, so it's acceptable in a way.

Sorry if I sounded harsh. I'm not being mean or anything... ^^v You can improve, definitely! :)

We can help you at http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/206930/f-a-i-r-y-t-a-l-e-s-r-e-v-i-e-w-s-h-o-p-open-review-reviews-fairytales

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/193138

We give honest and useful reviews~ <3
YourRemedy #3
Waeyo!? Why did you kill wonbin? Why? T-T<br />
anyways, I love it!<br />
paranoidfreaker #4
Oh my~~ Wonbin you're sick?????<br />
TT^TT
paranoidfreaker #5
new reader here!! wah~~ i think i love your story.. just update soon.. and i hope wonbin don't do anything that will hurt jaejin..<br />
^^
asdfghjBullySong #6
cliffhanger .. i hope wonbin will not do anything to our jaejin :))
SHINee2MinLove #7
@kihyunkit; haha! :D ne, thank you very very much!! :D
asdfghjBullySong #8
eheheh i love your pairings and the story :D so cool :D update soon :D
SHINee2MinLove #9
@kihyunkit; haha((: ne, i will update asap. :D gumawo for reading!!!^^<br />
@FT123456; hehe, thanks for reading too. ;}
FT123456 #10
Aww.. Jinnie gonna be sad ><
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